THE STANDARD By
Peter Theuri |
March 8th 2021 at 21:38:04 GMT +0300
Harold does everything in the most condescending manner anyone could, almost as if he were the giver, and controller, of life.
That everyone comes to him for help has turned him into a monster. He barks orders and reminds all and sundry that failure to adhere to his rules will result to more than just an exclusion from Gitegi Gossip Club and Harold Assemblies of Holy Associates (Haha).
Many people now talk to him through me. I talk to him through Sue.
Last week I received an important invitation from Githendu, the man who claims to have been the little boy who carried the five loaves and two fish Christ used to feed 5,000 people.
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THE STANDARD By
Peter Theuri |
February 3rd 2021 at 20:27:01 GMT +0300
I called Uncle Harold an irredeemable psychopath and he was deeply upset with me. He was angry not because I had insinuated that he is unemotional like a rock but because, well, the man can’t cycle to save his life.
“So why would you call me a cycle path?” he texted on a vintage phone that has survived tribal clashes, two referendums, a Trump presidency and even Sue’s infamous temper.
But I am not taking my words back. He is a sadist, Harold. When people around him suffer, he makes a fortune. And January, the month many people believe should be a year in itself, gives Harold the best returns.