Just minutes ago, Perry Carter, a student in the UC Berkeley-UCSF Joint Medical Program, reportedly considered dropping out of medical school while struggling to cut open a bagel. Carter, who is currently studying to become a cardiothoracic surgeon, genuinely contemplated giving up on being a doctor after his complete and abject failure to bisect a sesame bagel this morning. “You know what, maybe I’m not cut out for this surgery thing after all,” Carter, who graduated with honors and is among the top 10% of his class, said. “I’ve been deeply interested in understanding the functions of the human body and using the knowledge to save lives directly,” Carter said with the mangled remains of his breakfast in his hands. “But as soon as my knife touched that bagel, I knew that I was never meant to be a surgeon.”