All right, all right, were back. The horrible past is the horrible past. What matters now is the possibility of a better future. So much will depend on how much the Catholic Church for lack of a better word atones. Catholic cardinals are rushing to Pope Benedicts defense. Their main target, the New York Times. Jon what . Youre upset about the whole people finding out thing . laughter the coverage of the. Excuse me chuck, im being visited by the demons again. Do we have any. Oh, now the otter is playing with the kit kitten. Oh, oh. And theyre both eating some other animal they killed. All right. All right. Lets just. Its easy to get caught up in recriminations. Lets not sight of who the real victim is. I received in these days a letter from a jewish friend, he wrote i am following with disgust the attack against the church, the use of stereotypes the transferring of the responsibility and personal fault to the collective one remind me of the most shameful aspects of antisemitism. Jon let me get this straight. Being upset with the leaders of the Catholic Church for not doing enough to confront molestation is the same as forcing jews to wear special clothing and live in ghettos. Injustices that were perpetrated by the pope. laughter gee, i wonder if when the church was criticized for its antisemitism if they got a letter from a child molester going hey, dude, ive been there. laughter you know what . These are church underlings. That was just some cardinal and the popes personal minister. The pope has got gods cemetery on earth. Only he can correct past misdeeds by taking the ultimate responsibility. Pope benedict made a vailed but defiant reference to the crisis. Faith, he said, prevents being intimidated by the petty gossip of dominant opinion. Jon petty gossip. Evidence of the sexual scandals is not petty gossip. Let me give you a little vatican petty gossip. Father carluccis robe is getting tighter. Looks like somebodys been hitting the doublestuffed communion wafers. Thats petty gossip. laughter let me contrast that with hey remember that guy who molested 200 deaf boys . Yeah, he still works here. laughter for more, we go out to our Vatican Bureau chief samantha bee. Sam, were just seeing one Stunning Development after another in this scandal. What can you tell us about the churchs reaction to this internally . John, theyre upset. Angry. They just cant believe this witchhunt jon sam, considering the Catholic Churchs history, i dont know if you should be using the phrase witchhunt. Okay, there you go again. You know, the liberal media is really torturing the church. laughter putting them on a rack and literally pulling them apart hoping theyll confess. Searing their flesh with red hot pokers unless they renounce the socalled crimes of their faith. Jon see, no, youre. Once again, youre actually describing the spanish inquisition. laughter its the Catholic Church itself did exactly what youre saying to nonbelievers all over europe. Oh, please whered you get that, the New York Times . laughter god its like youre all on some kind of crusade laughter jon again, sam, the word crusade. Are you trying to sensor me john . Are my ideas too out there for you . You know, just because youve suddenly found out the world doesnt resolve around you doesnt mean you can shut me up and put me away. Jon youre actually describing what the Catholic Church did to galileo. laughter thats. Thats the heliocentric model of the universe. What are they, the cathars . laughter jon okay, i actually dont even get reference. The cathars, the gnostic sect in 13th century france. laughter jon i still got nothing there. Tens of thousands of them were massacres under the direct authority of Pope Innocent the third, persecuted out of existence by the Catholic Church. Jon oh, i see. Well, thats what youre doing now. Jon sam, see, if any other organization had done anything close to what the church is being accused of, theyd be done the church is barely showing any contrition. For gods sake, look how sorry dominos was just for their [no audio] pizza laughter they had a bad sauce recipe. Theyve been out there nonstop. Oh, were so sorry, here, have some crazy bread. laughter theres a difference, john. Supreme a dmis where they get their pizza, okay . The popes got his flock by the short and cur curlys. Jon sam, again. Sam bee, introducing the Samsung Galaxy s6 active only from at t. Tested to withstand pretty much anything life throws your way. Switch to at t and get a 300 credit with eligible purchase and tradein. I am rich. On the grounds of my estate, i hob nob with the glitterati and play equestrian sports. Out on the veranda, we enjoy finger sandwiches and other assorted dainties. I wear nothing less than the finest designer footwear. Wherever i go, the paparazzi capture my every move. Yes, i am rich. Thats why i drink the champagne of beers. Feeling that Late Afternoon energy dip . Dont go on a junk food trip just introduce yourself to chobani flip naturally delicious key lime crumble with White Chocolate and crunchy graham crackers. Its the break, you make cheers and applause jon welcome back to the slow we now turn to one of the most controversial men in politics today, Republican NationalCommittee ChairmanMichael Steele, seen her patronizing his. laughter his favorite monster owned and operated restaurants. If you remember, Michael Steel promised to bring more hiphop street flavor to the r. N. C. But apparently the only flavor he brought was mint chocolate mismanagement. The Family Research council is telling its supporters to stop donating to the r. N. C. Donors are running away from the r. N. C. Steeles been criticized for verbal gaffes, wasteful spending shoddy management. Tens of thousands of dollars for rides on private jets and limousines. A bar tabbed at a sex theme nightclub and a lesbian bondage fiasco. laughter jon the lesbian bondage fiasco if that is not the name of a new hip indy band by tomorrow i will be very disappointed. Hey, man, were going to see the lesbian bondage fiasco tonight. They rock. laughter by the way, mr. Chairman unfortunately Michael Steeles streetwise swagger might not be enough to save his jabber. Staffers at the r. N. C. Are resigning and steele is fast running out of friends. Even cnn contributor alex castellanos, who was brought in by steele to consult with the r. N. C. Sees the writing is on the wall. I think sometimes a change in leadership would be a good thing. Do you want him to resign . Well, i think thats up to them. I think they a change in direction now at this point would do the party good. So you want steel to resign . Well, i think that change in direction. For the good of the party. For the good of the party would be good. Jon just [no audio] say it. Just say it. Just say you want him to resign. Change direction . I dont know what direction, maybe go up laughter maybe. I think for the good of the Republican Party its time that Michael Steele moves in a serpentine fashion. laughter for gods sake you know, chairman steele was actually scheduled to be a guest on this program back on january 18 but he had to cancel because it conflicted with him deciding he did not want to be on the show anymore. laughter but luckily he joins us now in the studio tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome embattled r. N. C. Chairman Michael Steele. Michael. cheers and applause its Michael Steele. Jon how are you, sir . Nice to see you, sir, how are you . Nice to see you, hold on one second. Thanks, baby. Jon there you go. Just want to help you out there. Much appreciated. laughter jon all right. Welcome. laughter thats right, baby. Jon they just dont build chairmans like they used to. Chairman steele, welcome to the show. I am glad you were able to change your schedule around and everything worked out for you to be here. Hey, cat daddy, happy to be in the hisle with my main man johnny beef stew. laughter jon i know youre streetwise but jon. Jon would be fine. Hey, im just smoothed out on the casual tip, chicken pot pie. laughter drill, baby, drill oh, is this my water . Jon yeah, thats yours. Oh, okay, let me just have a sip. laughter my goodness what has happened to me . I have come unden done. laughter there we go cheers and applause jon i think youve had enough water ill tell you when ive had enough jon look, were happy to have you on the show. I just want to start by asking you. The incident that some are calling bondage gate. Your chief of staff ken mckay has stepped down, youve apologized to your donors. Has the scandal been put to rest . The reality is when i first heard about this behavior going on i was very angry and we dealt with it. We got to the bottom of it. Jon all right, sir. Well i cant help but notice that your voice changes when youre giving a more serious answer. Hey, bibble, i cant always bring the urban flava. I can kick it on the serious sip bibblebibble laughter jon look, if we can continue on a more serious tip. All right. Jon this week you appeared on Good Morning America and during the interview seemed to blame some of your troubles on your race. Oh, that was just me surfing it up, dingalong. laughter jon all right, well lets take a look at that conversation if we can. Michael steele, the chairman of the Republican National committee joins us now. We got a lot of questions on my blog for you this morning. One came in from myron. He asked that do you feel as an African American you have a slimmer margin for error than another chairman would . The honest answer is yes. Why is that . It just is. Barack obama has a slimmer margin. We all. A lot of folks do. I mean, the different roles for me to play and others to play and thats just the reality of it. Nailed it like i jailed it whoo hoo jon mr. Chairman, youre honestly saying the criticism youre facing can be chalked up to race. Thats what i said, sugar bread. laughter jon the charges that youre wasting donors money, critiques of your job performance, all that is just racism. Straight bibble, baby can i get a what what . Hammertime laughter jon you know what . I dont want to have to do this, mr. Chairman. Chuck, roll 212. You know, im kind of sick and tired of, you know, the left and democrats in this country when they get into trouble and dont get their way and backs are up against the wall on legislation or whatever it is theyre trying to do they go to that card. They play that race card, that slavery card, that civil rights card. Jon chairman Michael Steele, isnt that hypocritical . You, sir, attacking democrats for using the race card when you yourself use it, sir is that not hypocritical, sir . Mr. Chairman . Push it. Jon oh, thats somebodys phone. Is that your phone or mine . Jon its not my phone, my ring tone isnt push it. I guess thats me. You got the steele whats that . Right now . I have to go now . In the middle of my interview with john bailey . laughter all right. Hibbledy bibbledy jon Michael Steele everybody, well be right back. cheers and applause aah, the majestic hermit crab. They mate once in a lifetime. And he who has the most unique shell. To him, go the spoils ohhhh. Well played, sir always be one of a kind. How do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. 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I wear nothing less than the finest designer footwear. Wherever i go, the paparazzi capture my every move. Yes, i am rich. Thats why i drink the champagne of beers. [hero female] were all familiar with this axe daily fragrances which comes in a black can. But what you wouldnt have seen is this axe dry spray antiperspirant. It goes on dry and keeps you dry with no visible residue. Why are you touching your armpit . I was just checking to see if it was dry. [hero female] dont, thats weird. The first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe. The drought is affecting all of us. At pg e weve definitely put a focus on helping our agricultural customers through the drought. When they do an Energy Efficiency project and save that money they feel it right in their pocket book. Its exciting to help a customer with an Energy Efficiency project because not only are they saving energy but they are saving water. We have a lot of projects at pg e that can help them with that and thats extremely important while were in a drought. Its a win for the customer and its a win for california. Together, were building a better california. cheers and applause jon welcome back to the show. My guest tonight, a very, very funny actor. Used to work on this program. Now he is on nbcs the office and has a brand new hilarious film out. Hey, sweetie, its okay. A little snack for you. Just have a little. dog growling screaming jon hes great. Please welcome back to the program steve carell. cheers and applause that wasnt. That wasnt the clip that we sent. Jon because you do look different. I was looking at that and thinking. Thats ed hems. That was the hangover. That wasnt the movie im near promote. Jon because you, they told me. Ed helms was a correspondent here as well. That was his clip. Jon they told me remember that guy that used to work here and hes in the movies now and hes on the office. Well, there are more than one of us i guess, right . Jon how many people did they take from here . And why dont i get to meet all of them . Well, you knew them while they were here jon why dont you strike a bell . Why dont. You know . laughter how long were you here . I was here for four years. I ate crisco at the desk and you were, like, oh, thats so gross and i started to laugh we had good times laughter jon that does sound funny. It was hilarious jon youre the guy from chicago. Yes well, yes. Jon colbert no god no, i was at chicago with colbert. Colbert has a different show now. Jon how many people did we take from there . I think there were three. Or four. Jon this is making me very uncomfortable. Its making me uncomfortable. Jon i apologize sincerely and i wish you and. And. Are you married . My wife worked here, too jon are you kidding me . laughter well, i wish her the best as well. Shes not sam bee, is she . No, my god laughter is this how these usually go . Jon no, theyre usually much worse. laughter whats going down, baby . Nothing. Jon and scene. Thats it. Thank you very much. cheers and applause we have not lost it jon its like when you dance with astair, you never forget the curve of the hip. Really. Whats going down, brother . Theyre exploiting you on this publicity tour, quite frankly. Date night. Date night. And ive come up with a tag line. Its a date laughter jon did you write that . Is that on the poster . I did. Date night. Its a date laughter jon who are you looking at . Its the camera. The camera goes on right there and i say its a date laughter jon can i ask you a question . Yeah. Jon why did i get older and you didnt . laughter why is that . California. Jon are you in some kind of crazy Hollywood Life machine . I live in a parabolic chamber jon we should look at a clip of the date night. How much promotion . You had to go to europe for pro snogs yeah, and over there its not called date night its called crazy night and gang sister for a night. Jon yelling in german. and then they say its a date that was my hitler impression. Wait, i have my own camera dont i . Its a date laughter jon perfect. We should show a clip because. And by the way, whos funnier than steve carell . cheers and applause lets show a clip. Date night. The computer sticky thing is at the bottom of the east river which is where well be if those cops catch up with us. Okay, walk me through this again. Honey. Honey, if im going to get whacked off i deserve to understand why its happening. What are you smiling about . Youre very sweet. Hohn, were not going to get whacked off. I think we are. I dont think we are. Oh, whacked off. Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. laughter she was confused jon that happens so much on the subways. laughter did you film that in our subway. Yes. Yes, we did. Jon you didnt film that. No. That was on. laughter it was like a car and theres guys on either side with pieces of wood going chucka, chucka. Jon nothing in your life is real anymore, is it . Nothings real and i love it jon i know you do. Its always great to see you. Like wise. Jon say hello to your lovely wife and family and we miss you like crazy cakes but great to see you. Always like coming home. Jon thanks, brother, good to see you. Date night. Steve carell. groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. Hot pockets brings you new snack bites. Bitesize hot pockets sandwiches with 100 real cheese. Guys im back new snack bites from. Hot pockets hi. Your daddys getting a camry . Yeah, i want him to have a really fun car. Hes the best dad ever. Best timing ever. Its our clear