Daily show im trevor noah thank you so much, everybody thank you so much. Our guest tonight from the new comedy ghosted, Craig Robinson is here, everybody cheers and applause funny guy. Were going to have a good time. First, i know americans may feel like their congress is divided and dysfunctional, but you aint seen yo uganda. A brawl in ugandas parliament breaks out over the debate about the president s eligibility to run for office again. I dont know what the weapons are but theyre using whatever they can get their hands on. The constitution has an age limit of 75 for president. The 73yearold president has ruled uganda by taking presidency by force in 1986. So the argument to change the law to allow him run again after age 75. Trevor the fast rule about Ugandan Parliament is you talk about Ugandan Parliament. What does that reporter mean, i dont know what those weapons are a mic stand we have mic stands in africa. The reporter says, their fighting with a giraffe stick, i dont know what that is. Its a mic stand, okay . laughter there is so much fun in insanity happening in every frame of the video. We have to look closer. One guy jumps on to the table and does a spin who does a spin in the middle of a fight . That is insane looks like a ugandan Michael Jackson like what was that . And watch this part, someone throws a chair and the security guy catches it in midair like a boss new york giants, are you watching this . You better sign this man but my favorite part of all, one representative, hes just standing there the whole time waving the ugandan flag like a matador. laughter you can see hes like, when this is a painting, they will definitely include me, huh . laughter you know what my suggestion is . This is how america should run its congress, right . If some senator wants to filibuster a bill, you cant just say, i vote to block, you have to physically block them from getting it to the floor put muscle into it come on, mitch see what youre made of cheers and applause thats what i want to see. Lets move on to our main story. In the past few weeks, weve seen a multitude of hurricanes hitting the caribbean and the u. S. , an though the storms have moved on, millions are still dealing with the effects. We turn next here to the catastrophic damage in puerto rico, home to 3. 5 american citizens, hurricane maria, the worst storm to batter the island in nearly a century. All over the u. S. Territory, these american citizens are struggling to survive. No running water, gas is scarce and could be without power for months. Due to hurricane maria, much of puerto rico has no running water, limited gas and no power. Though having no power may be okay for democrats, its not okay for an island full of people. Since puerto rico is part of the United States and its citizens are american citizens, the men they are looking to for answers is unfortunately President Trump, and the good news is he knows where puerto rico is. laughter weve got apluses on texas and florida and we will also on puerto rico, but the difference is this is an island sitting in the middle of an ocean andeth a big ocean, its a very big ocean. laughter trevor it is a big ocean. Huh . Huh . laughter you know what is this i know it seems like President Trump doesnt know what hes speaking about but thats just because he doesnt know how to speak. You see, the essence of what hes trying to say is true, and that is, compared to states on the mainland, its hard to get help to puerto rico. Thats what he meant to say. Instead of stressing ourselves, we should just accept trump cant speak english and get him a translator like for foreign leaders. translator while states like texas and florida, there are problems in delivering services to an island approximately 1,000 miles from the mainland. Trevor president ial. Now, look, the truth is President Trumps response to this disaster hasnt been perfect. He tweeted some bleep about puerto rico. He wasnt quick to get rid off the jones act, but he hasnt been the only reason puerto rico is struggling right now. As it turns out, there are at least some emergency supplies that are reaching puerto rico. The problem is once they reach the island, there is another issue. Supplies arrived but theyre not getting delivered to the 3. 4 american citizens on the island. More than 3,000 shipping containers are sitting at the port of san juan. There is water. There is a short of Truck Drivers to help deliver the essentials. If you want to drive a truck in puerto rico, heres the number the Governments Office just gave me. Trevor wait a second, puerto rico just needs Truck Drivers . Maybe trump can help after all, huh . Come on he spent his whole presidency learning to drive trucks. Finally it paid off and you thought he wasnt being president ial that was practice laughter i know this isnt a popular phrase on this show, but in Donald Trumps defense booing boo, boo, tweet, tweet, trevor, trevor, boo. Thank you. In his defense, the federal government is responding to the crisis. Americas military is boosting its efforts to help puerto rico. Fema is asking for military vehicles to clear roads and bring in supplies. 10,000 responders, 4. 5 million meals, 4. 6 million liters of water and theyre working to open necessary airfield and access. In addition to fema and department of Homeland Security is army corps of engineers is in puerto rico working to restore the electrical grid. The floating navy the comfort should be arriving next week. Trevor you have to be impressed how much the military can do, especially having a hospital on a shirntion amazing, unless you suffer from seasickness. They cant help you then. Theyre the problem and the solution at the same time. Take this, now youre sick. Take this. This is not going anywhere. Could there be more help . Sure. One thing thats not helping, nearly half a million americans dont realize puerto rico is part of the u. S. And that matters because americans who know Puerto Ricans are u. S. Citizens are twice as likely to support the federal government sending them aid, a raw deal for Puerto Ricans. What if half your family didnt know you were part of their family. That would suck. I think its called tiffany syndrome and it really isnt fair. Just half of them dont know. laughter and as if that wasnt enough, theres another thing that is working against puerto rico. The mayor of san juan puerto rico is now begging for help but many there say theyre getting overlooked. Donor fatigue is a real thing. So many people jumped in to help out after harvey and irma that people feel like they dont feel their donations are making a difference. Trevor people are not giving aid to puerto rico the way they did from texas and florida because theyre suffering from donor fatigue. We can all understand the feeling. Its happened to you, to me. On a day you walk by a homeless person on the street and you go, you know what . Im feeling generous. Im giving them everything. I have 50 bucks in my wallet, yeah you turn the corner, another homeless guy, youre, like, hey okay, man, you should have seen me earlier, if we go back maybe we can maybe we can split it. Im sorry are, man. And you have to move on. It feels like theres a new hurricane every week. The truth is everyone still needs to help, right . And its no excuse we get fatigued for letting puerto rico fall through the cracks. Think of it as paying puerto rico back for all theyve given us. Despacito. Lin manuel miranda. Jennifer lopez. cheers and applause do you realize if everyone who listened to despacito just gave 1 to puerto rico, thats billions billions thats what we should do. If youve ever listened to despacito, give a dollar. applause if youre a fan of hamilton, yeah, yeah. applause if youre a fan of hamilton, give a dollar. If youve ever fantasized about j. Lo, give a dollar. laughter ill be the first to admit, fine. Okay, j. Lo. Fine. I will give my dollar. There. There you go. I have fantasized. All right, maybe more than one time. But the point is, okay, fine, you know what . Ill write a check because i cant afford to just keep giving out dollars here. Mr. Trevor lopez laughter there you go. Dont judge me weve all faint advertised about jail o. Shes amazing, okay . Triple threat. applause but the truth is for those of you at home, if you can donate, no matter how small it is, please try. Go to one of these worthy charities. Your fellow americans could use the help. Well be right back. cheers and applause to get unlimited data for only 50 per month with the cricket unlimited 2 plan. Plus get a free select smartphone when you switch. All on a network that covers over 99 of americans. Cricket wireless. Something to smile about. He ona 3d printer. Now hes building a statue for the most interesting fan of college football. Every time i raise my hand, i start a wave. Whos number one . This guy what do you go, about 67 . Stay thirsty mis amigos. Tired of wrestling with seemingly impossible cleaning tasks . Using sprays in the bathroom can be ineffective. Try mr. Clean magic eraser. Simply add water, to remove soap scum and grime. Try mr. Clean magic eraser. Posting hashtag yeehaw. Hashtag i have no signal and i still cant post out here. Woah look out, coming through. Hey thomas. Howdy there joy. See joys got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. You bet i do. Best phone, best network. Americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network. She can post out here like she does in the city. Hey twelve likes. What . Likes wont get you didly around these parts. Yaaw nope youre going the wrong way talking to his horse . When you really, really want the best, switch to verizon unlimited and get up to 300 off the new iphone. Its about time they gave left and right twix® their own packs. They got about as much in common as you, a mortician, and me, an undertaker. chuckling or you, a janitor, and me, a custodian. laughing or you, a ghost, and me, a spirit. laughing left and right twix® packs. Its time to deside. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. After a tough week for republicans in washington, there seems to be an oasis on the horizon. The white house and republicans pivot after another failed health care push. Republicans are trying to come together on tax reform after bruising and divisive battles on health care. Trevor yes finally, taxes a much better subject for republicans than health care. Republicans are like the jock at school whos bad at every subject but kills it at p. E. All day hes struggling in math and history and gets in the gym and hes dunking on everyone. Youre in my world now, michael, two more points for me so im up to oh, no gym class became math class laughter so forget obamacare, its done. Trump is moving on to taxes. In indiana yesterday, he explained his plan, and it sounds real good for the common man. Democrats and republicans in congress should come together, finally, to deliver this giant win for the American People and begin middle class miracle. Its called a middle class miracle, once again. Its also called a miracle for our great companies, a miracle for the middle class, for the working person. Trevor this tax plan brought to you by the word miracle. Its a miracle. laughter if jesus spoke like trump, i dont think he would have been half as popular. I turned water into wine, a miracle this miracle thing i do with the bread, a miracle curing lepers, a miracle people are just, like, ill stay dead, man, dont touch me. Im fine. laughter by the way, this is how generous donald trump is, this middle class miracle stays in the middle class. Our framework includes our explicit commitment that tax reform will protect lowincome and middle income households, not the wealthy and well connected. They can call me all they want, its not going to help, im doing the right thing. And its not good for me, believe me. laughter trevor yeah, yeah, its not good for me. Believe me. Of course, i believe you, trump. Why wouldnt i . laughter its not like youve ever lied. laughter dont be so insecure, man. laughter but just in case, just in case, lets look at some of the details of this tax reform plan, and lets see all the miracles that wont help trump. Trump would stand to benefit from his tax plan in three major ways, first from his new brackets which are narrowed to three and give the top bracket a roughly 4. 6 tax cut. Second, he would save from the elimination of the alternative minimum tax and, third, by eliminating the estate tax which mainly benefits the wealthiest, wealthiest americans trevor what . This whole plan is a cash cow for trump . Im starting to wonder if the only reason he ran for president was to lower his own taxes. I hope so because it means he might resign the second he signs this thing into law. And, done. Okay, thats it for me, america, you have been great. Good luck with north korea. Im out, byebye, everybody, byebye. cheers and applause but still, im really disappointed in donald trump because he said believe me, and he was lying. Can you believe it . He said believe me. So it turns out trump would gain a lot from his own tax plan. But first, it will have to get through congress, which, at this stage, would be a miracle. laughter believe me. Well be right back. cheers and applause to its roots. Brewed only in golden, colorado. And nowhere else. Ever. Coors banquet. Thats how its done. Tmobile never stops. Weve doubled our lte coverage. Were already the fastest 4g lte network, and we just keep getting faster. And now americas best unlimited gets even more powerful when you pair it with the new iphone everyone is excited about. Introducing the amazing iphone 8. Its the best iphone yet, now on americas best unlimited network. For a limited time, save up to three hundred dollars on iphone 8. And now, join tmobiles Iphone Upgrade Program for free. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the the daily show. My guest tonight comedian and actor who stars in ghosted. Remain calm. Dont yell at me. Im not yelling. You just kind of yelled at me. What are we doing, man, thats yelling. Oh, youre not supposed to be awake. Where did you take us . Im barry, your kidnapper and i work for a top secret Government Agency and unfortunately thats all i can say about that. Thats not very fair, is it . I work for the bureau underground, we investigate the paranormal and anything outside the scientific recommend. Is this a hidden camera show . Wheres alex trebek . Did he have a hidden camera show . How did i miss that . Looks like weve arrived trevor please welcome Craig Robinson cheers and applause all right. Trevor welcome to the show. Thank you very much. Thank you. cheers and applause honor to be here. Trevor good times. Absolutely. Trevor i have been your fan for a very, very long time. Come on. Trevor what do you mean come on . You come on. Trevor all right. Welcome to it and congratulations on another show that looks like its going to be a hit. Ghosted, is this like basically a male ghostbusters, is that what this is . Adam scott and myself, man, we get recruited to come work at this secret underground Organization Called the bureau underground, and hilarity ensues, we hope. Trevor you know what was interesting to me, i never know if these things are true, i heard you guys improved a lot of scenes in the show. Is that true . We follow script, but there is a lot of improv. We have Carte Blanche and its really you know, its all about whats in the moment. Right. Its because something that sparks something and adam is the best person to improvise with. Hes always ready to catch the ball or throw it. Hes very playful and smart and we challenge each other so its cool. Trevor let me ask you this question, why does it seem mismatched comedies always like a black guy and white guy . Why is it never like a black guy and white guy from south africa specifically, that would be a good combination of things if you ever made another show. How come that never happens . Because those guys work every night on something else, so theyre working too hard. applause youve got to get in a schedule where you fit in. laughter trevor the show also premiered, or the pilot was on twitter. Yes. Trevor which is a strange, strange thing. I dont think fox has ever done that. Ive never seen that before. Did you have to bring the family together and say, all right, everybody. Get on here laughter that must have been a strange experience for you as well. Before it came on twitter, i was showing them an early cut, but that is how i showed them in the car, like on the phone. laughter but i hadnt seen that either. You know, i didnt know what to expect, but it turned out very well. Twitter responded nicely. Trevor which is rare for twitter. No, thats when you know your bleep is going down well. People on twitter, we like this. We dont say this often but we like this. They were on tour. Well see what happens october 1 when it really comes out. Trevor you are working on a lot of projects now, not just ghosted. Im producing a movie that comes out october 20 called tragedy girls. Trevor right. Its a horror movie. Trevor you smile like youre the bad guy in the movie. Because its good. Its a good buzz and 94 on Rotten Tomatoes right now. Trevor right. Its a sexy movie, yeah. laughter trevor i like how you went from horror film, scary, its a sexy movie. Its sexy in its goodness, you know what i mean . laughter oh, boy. Trevor i have to ask you a question, a friend of mine said please ask craig this for me, and i have to. Are you ever, when you are making your mov movies and shows high . laughter applause ghosted premieres october 1, 83 00 p. 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