Everybody it will be a really fun conversation. Also on tonights show, russia and china are the new celebrity couple. Ronny chieng puts plaft straws under arrest. And your fitbit is trying to kill you. So lets catch up on todays headlines. This saturday was world oceans day. Its a day when we let the ocean tsunami any city it likes and we tack a moment to acknowledge. How damage we humans have done to the thing that covers 75 of our planet. And today, canadian Prime MinisterJustin Trudeau announced a plan to try to change that. Some good news for the environment. In less than two years, canada plans to ban many singleuse plastics. Were talking about things like straws, bags, cutlery, no longer the canadian Prime Minister making the announcement from the shores of a Nature Preserve in quebec. To be honest, as a dad, its tough to explain this to my kids. Hodo you explain dead whales washing up on beaches around the world, their stomachs jam packed with plastic bags. People around the world are grappling with thisser day. Trevor wow, white people have to explain a lot of shit to their kids because this is not a problem any african kid has. An african kid says, why are the whale dying . Why dont you mind your own business . Are you a whale . Maybe that whale is too much busy asking questions. Thats why it ended up on the beach. You know what i do know, beat children. Go fetch my belt getgo fetch my belt. But Justin Trudeau has a good point. Singleuse plastic is wasteful. We have to find a way to stop using it. I dont know exactly. I was thinking maybe we can find a way to carry a knife and fork with us all times, like hanging off our belts, like a cell phone used to. It wont look weird if we all do it. How about this . We never use these third fingers. Lets just replace them with utensils. Like a surgery. Now you always have them with you. Moving on, the Catholic Church is celebrating pride month in the most catholic way possible. Usa today said the Catholic Church issued an official document rejecting transgender identity. It called male and female he created them, is the Catholic Churchs first statement on jirnd identity. Pope francis has repeatedly argued people cannot choose their genders. And chienging norms contributes to the destabilization of the family. Trevor yes, thats right. The Catholic Church has released a statement condemning transgender people, saying that its unnatural, which is disappointing, but its not surprising. I mean, we all know the church thinks if youre born a girl yiewrk a girl forever. And if youre born a boy, theyre going to try to bleep you. laughter and lets be clear, lets be clear on this gender change is not a trend, all right. Its been around for thousands of years. But if it was, why does the church care about it so much . How come the church isnt warning us about other trends . You never hear the pope saying, theres only one high priest and his name is jesus christ. And get this, get this. Part of the vaticans rationale is transgender people go against its belief that god made men and women to reproduce. Which, first of all, transgender people can reproduce. And, secondly, again, why do you care . Right you . Dont even let your people reproduce, right . Nuns arent allowed to have sex, right. Priests cant get little boys pregnant, yeah. Yeah, thats right. Two pedophilia jokes. Yeah, yeah. I got away with it the first time. Of course i was going to go back for more, which is the same thing the priests said about touching little boys p oh three pedophilia jokes you dont like it . You should transfer me to a different parish where i will probably do the same thing. 4 all right, im done. If youre wearing a fitbit right now, you might want to get up and walk 10,000 steps away from your tv. New twez qez about the supposed Health Benefits of those fitness trackers that millions use. As more americans make health a priority, many are turning to technology. The fitness tracker has become kind of the obsession. But is that obsession really good for you . Some worry measuring fitness, dit, and sleep could be taking a toll on our mental health. Research found it can take activities that once were enjoyable feel almost like a job. These are really powerful tools for positive change, but they can trigger anxiety or obsessive thoughts, and sometimes cause us to go a little bit too far. Trevor thats right. Experts say fitness trackers are make us anxious. And not just because we spend every morning trying to remember where we put it, which is what i do. I burn 1,000 calories Walking Around my apartment trying to find the damn thing, and then it goes, okay, time to get your steps in. Im like, bitch, i need a nap now. But the studies claim fitness apps can be bad for our mental health. If you think about it, every app is bad for your mental health. Twitter is toxic, and the phone app is the worst. You cant delete it. It just keeps ringing. Dont know what its for. I had a Meditation App that was supposed to help me relax, but all allll it did was stress me out. Continue times a day, did you meditate yet . Hey, trevor, dont forget to medicate. Eventually i was like, delete the app so much for the headlines. Lets move on to our main story. cheers and applause russia for decades, the soviet superpower has been americas numberone rifle. There was the cuban missile crise, meddling in the 2016 elections, and on twitter, they challenged tom cruise to an m. M. A. Fight, and nobody can figure out why. And just when we thought russiasanticts couldnt get any crazier, a few days ago they pulled this move on the high seas. We begin this evening with a dangerously close call on the high seas between a russian destroyer and a u. S. Warship. Those ships coming within feet of one another forcing the americans to take drastic action to avoid a disastrous collision. This image, carting just how close the ships came to a catastrophic collision. As little as 50 feet, according to the u. S. Navy. This video from the deck of the uss chancellor, showing the russian destroyer was so close, you could see russian sailors sunbathing on the deck. Trevor sweet lord. laughter russians are hard core. You realize these ships are about to crash into each other, american soldiers are like, prepare for break and russian soldiers are like, dmitri take off your shirt. Lets get suntan before we die, yeah. Dont want to meet jesus as pasty. But this is pretty crazy, man. laughter this is pretty crazy. A russian warship basically tried to ram into an americanshiamericanship in the. Lets be honest. That had to be on purpose. What other excuse is there . Do you know how big the ocean is . You really have to go out of your way to collide into someone. Its like walking into someone at ted cruzs birthday party. Theres no one there. Did you it on purpose. laughter now the question sthe question is, where would russia get the balls to play chicken against america in the pacific. Maybe its because they have a new and powerful b. F. F. Just as President Trump was meeting with americas most important allies in europe, two of americas biggest adversaries were Holding Court in moscow. It was a split screen tailor made by russian president vladimir putin. Putin hosted chinese progress xi jinping xi calling putin his best and bosom friends. The two enjoying a leisurely boat ride in spoorg yesterday. Trevor thats right. Xi and putin have gotten so close theyre taking boat rides together. He helped xi create the scene from titanic. He was like, im king of the world china is taking over the world. China and russia are really hitting it off. You only take a boat ride with someone if you really, really like them or theyre enslaving you. But this is liking. If you think putin giving xi a boat ride is impressive, wait until you see what xi gave putin. During their surntle putin and xi showed off their friendship way visit to the moscow zoo where they welcomed two new chinese pandas, a gift from xi to russia. China likes a sign of the good alliance, good feeling is present you with a panda. Russia got two. Trevor thats right. China gave not one but two pandas to russia. Which is huge. Yeah. Because one panda cant make babies. Two babies also cant, but theres hope. laughter and, remember, china only gives pandas to country when they wish to be close allies. They call it panda diplomacy. This is a real thing, panda diplomacy. Not to be confused with Panda Express diplomacy, where i convinced them to let me use the battle room, even though i didnt buy anything. Technically, china didnt give russia the pandas. The russians get to keep the pandas for a few years. Which applies takeover panda in the world. China owns every single panda so at some point they have to go home and i guess its because china doesnt want pandas to forget their rootsz. You dont want them staying in new jersey for too long. You dont want them saying, what is this bamboo . How about how about some gabagool and fettucheen. Russia and china continue to strengthen their economic ties, theyre also expanding their military cooperation. Chinese troops taking part in Massive Drills with Russian Forces last year. The level of cooperation between russia and china has not been this high since the mid1950 pps they are combining forces against us. They say russia and china can coordinate Cyber Attacks and military moves that can knock u. S. Forces off balance. Trevor oh, man. China and russia teaming up against the United States . I mean, america could probably handle china or russia, but not both at the same time. Like, imagine if in rocky four they were fighting and jackie chan jumped in the rink to help. That wouldnt end of rocky. It would be done. There would be no rocky five, no rocky balboa. No rocky goes to space, and definitely no 50 shades of rocky. None of those movies. laughter now, jnd geopolitics, the personal elements of this bromance is probably something thats going to bug donald trump. Because dont forget, he wants to be a part of this club. He loves those dudes. He admires putin and talks about how he and Gianni Infantino are great friends. So to see his two besties together has got to hurt. I dont think hes dealing with his feelings in the most mature way. Donald trump is threatening new tariffs on another 300 billion in chinese goods if the president doesnt meet had wim at the upcoming g20 summit. Trevor really, trump. Hes going to put tariffs on china if xi doesnt hang out with him . Thats so childish. If you dont come over my house and play video games, then tariffs. And i get to be player woon the whole time. And what is it with trump using tariffs in every legal situation. Have you guys noticed this . In every situation, trump is using tariffs. Illegal mimigration, tariffs on mexico. Melania wont hold his hand, tariffs on slovakia. laughter so, look, its clear whats happening here. President trump, youre feeling neglected by president xi. But instead of lashing out ynot work on your relationship, man. Forget tariffs. Maybe talk to xi, tell him how youre feeling. If that doesnt work, try to spice things up. Dress up as something you know chinas really into. Yeah. laughter applause who could resist . Well be right back. Well be right back. cheers and applause geico makes it easy to get help when you need it. With licensed agents available 24 7. Its not just easy. Its havingawalrusingoal easy roooaaaar its a walrus ridiculous yes nice save, big guy good job duncan way to go [chanting] its not just easy. Its geico easy. Oh, duncan. Stay up. 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Ronny chieng filed this report from the front lines of the plastic wars. Here in america, we use straws for everything drinking, snorting cocaine okay, just those two things. But still, thats not nothing. Yet, recently, local governments across the nation have been challenging our godgiven right to bear straws. Straws represent only. 02 of the nine million tons of plastic waste. Conservative big bird actually has a point here. I headed to washington, d. C. , the latest city to ban straws to meet lillian, an environmental inspector. Her actual job is to go into local business and make sure theyre not using plastic straws. Thats right, shes a straw cop. So what do you hope to accomplish by banning something thats like 0. 0000000001 of our trash . You know, thats gade question. Its a perfect symbol for our overuse and dependence on singleuse plastics. What am i supposed to do . If i dont use straws what do you want me to do . Do you want me to do this . Yes, absolutely. Thats what i would love. Lillian explained over 40 of all Plastic Manufacturing is single use, throwaway items that will take somewhere between 450 years and forever to disappear. But still, why are people suddenly so angry about straws . Why do you hate straws so much . What did straws ever do to you . I think that started with the straw video, the plastic straw getting stuck up the sea turtles nose. It has 35 million views on youtube. Wait, this is because of a stupid video. Ive seen a lot of stuff on youtube. How bad could this be . It turns out really bad. Man, its a freaking straw. Okay, ein done no more straws. But the video did leave me with one burning question if i stick a straw up my nose i could get 35 million views on youtube . I cant guarantee that. You know, people might not connect with seeing a person, a fullgrown adult with their straw up the nose the same waz a a sea turtle. I wouldnt go further. Nope, thats stuck. Nope ah. Okay, so, tell me what you do on a daytoday basis. Turns out that turtle was not faking it. We actually go out and do some random inspections and we talk to business owners. choking about the new rules, and how to come into compliance with them. Whoa that sounds great. It was time for me to hit the streets and shadow lillian on an actual straw raid. First step, case the joint. Clear, clear, clear, clear, clear. All right, clear. So once we enter a business, usually we kind of take a look around, right. We want to see if we can see request straws. Straw racial profiling. Were looking out for straws. What race is under likely to use straws . Looking out for people. Nlook for contraband. These are what we use. Great. Theyre compostable. Another excellent. These are absolutely in compliance. Turns out, this guy was clean, least for today. But i knew things were about to get real when we hit the mother load a coffee shot with enough nose candy to take down a reef. These look like plastic. Are you currently out of compliance. Thats right. Youre busted. And now the straw cops are going to make you pay. Right now we havent switched yet, but we are in the process of switching. Oh, really . Thats convenient. Just happen to be switching when we walk in, okay. Im sorry. Uhm, so what im going to do today is just give you a warning letter. Okay. Do you mean warning letter . So lillian just walks around warning businesses . Thats it. Im taking the lead on this investigation. Straw, straw, straw, straw weve got straws over here. Youre going to pull out a straw in front of a straw cop . Sorry. Whose straw is this . Straw straw over here sorry, false alarm. Its fine. Its paper. Thidispatch, we are entering premises, over. See that guy over there in the black hoodie. Im just going to go ask him a few questions. Hes going go, go, go straw police straw police drop the bleep straw get on the ground bleep but despite the successful raid, lily wasnt happy. That was absolutely useless in getting people to come into compliance. Lets agree to disagree. It takes a lot of time and energy and those oneonone conversations to really enact real change. Okay, change peoples minds through constructive conversations. I can do that. Do you know how many bleep turtles are dying in the ocean because they have straws up their nose . Why . Because blooeps cant seem to drink from cups without straws. Just put the cup to your mouth thats it you dont need a milt man do you know how much damage it could do to an dolphins anus. Circ you need to go before i call the police. We are the police. Guys. We are the police. Show her your badge. Were not the police. She has a badge. Show her the badge. After a successful conversation, we voluntarily left the restaurant. I come back and see any plastic snrawz here im burning the whole bleep place to the ground. If a restaurant can ban me just for doing my job, how hard can it be to ban straws. cheers and applause trevor ronny chieng, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a john beard awardwinning executive chef at kith and kin in washington, d. C. His new memoir is called notes from a young black chef. Please welcome kwame omwuachi cheers and applause trevor welcome to the show. Its great to be here. How are you doing . Trevor im fantastic, man, but congratulations on an amazing book. Thank you. Trevor and a really, really fascinating story. Thank you. Trevor i mean, youve done everything. In your teens you were in a. Gang. In your 20s you sold drugs. Competed on equip top chef. You opened your first restaurant, it tanked. Dont give away the book. Trevor no, thats the thing. Its less about what happened and how it happens. Thats what makes it so fascinating. Youre only 29. Its a journey. I would say every part of my life has been extremely difficult or extremely rewarding, and its a journey. So, like, you dont really notice it until you put it down on paper. Trevor right and you read it through and you see it through. Trevor whats interesting is you tell the story growing up in a world where you you were lucky enough to go to a private school, but you lived in a place that was hood adjacent, and you got mixed up with the wrong group of friends. How did you see your life when