Bathroom at the container store. Im saying he, but that mighh be a woman. No need to profile. All right. Here he is at his most diabolical. Come on. Not the cleaning supplies. Mexican ladies have to touch those. His yellow rain of terror must be stopped. Im counting on you guys to help me. If ou see anyone drinking a suspicious amount of liquid, please email the show. Do not approach the subject. His gladder is extremely full you might be sitting across from the yellow peepee monster as we speak. All right. This week, bigfoot dies. Finally, you will be shot on pight if you attempt to trick or treat on my property. You have been warned. Good night. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out so much energy wow im trevor noah our guest tonight is a rapper and a poet who just started a new book club. Noname is joining us on the show, everybody its going to be a great conversation cheers and applause also o on tonights show, how to watch twice as many netflix shows and why your underwear could get you killed and theres a spy in the white house. Kick it off with netflix. Streaming giant and the murderer of blockbuster. After revolutionizing tv, the streaming service is now revolutionizing time. Backflash netflix is getting from hollywood directors. Yesterday the streaming service says it plans to test a new feature to allow the viewers to speed up or slow down a movie on their smartphones. While judd apatow thinks its a terrible idea, he said no dont make me call every director and show creator to fight you on this, netflix says were always experimenting on new ways to help members use netflix. Trevor netflix is launching a feature to allow you to watch content at a faster speed. I cant wait to watch nine years a slave. Its not as bad anymore. But this is a big move for netflix, and in response, h. B. O. Says theyre going to introduce a button to let you completely skip the final season of game of thrones. Its going to increase the experience. People are going to be, like, yeah, this is enhancing it. In effect needs to introduce a with my parents button so you can push it and it skips all the sex scenes. The movie will be like. Are you ready . Yeah, im ready. Oh, good morning yeah, yeah, good morning laughter today we learned new details about the raid that took out i. S. I. S. Leader Abu Al Baghdadi and some of the details were intimate. New details of one of the most wanted terrorist killed in a raid by u. S. Commandos. This rubble is all thats left of al baghdadis last hide out. The commander of the kurdish fighters told us his Intelligence Service had a top i. S. I. S. Informant passing information on to the kurds which they passed to the c. I. A. Abu Bakr Al Baghdadi was not an easy target but the spy was still able to collect vital information. The informant had a piece of baghdadis underwear and u. S. Forces had it to get a dna sample to be ready to make a positive identification when baghdadi died. laughter trevor wait, hold up. They found al baghdadi because an informant stole his underwear . laughter i feel like the informant just had a weird underwear fetish, and the army walked in on him one day and he was, like, no, im spying for you, yeah, these are how you find him. Give them back when youre done. laughter also, did you see al baghdadis house . The United States does not mess around. Theyll kill you and destroy your entire house. Id love to see i. S. I. S. Try and get the Security Deposit back from the landlord. Yes, theres no walls anynor but we vacuumed. Come on, meet us halfway. laughter finally, heres a fun story from the world of sports. The landmark advancement in professional sports, the fliers have opened a rage room in wells fargo arena, a place where fans can unleash their anger, allowing fans to smash stuff inside the disassembly room, the first ever raids room in professional sports. Trevor okay, this is so strange because hockey already had a place to get your rage out, its called hockey. laughter its a kind of crazy concept, but at least now pewie know how they destroyed al baghdadis house. This is probably what it was. cheers and applause its an interesting idea, right . Fans of sports games, right, in philadelphia can go to a room and smash things to release their rage, which is actually pretty cool, except for the fan whos going to walk into the wrong room at the stadium. Just aaahhh oh, this is accounting, oh. Second on the left. Oh, my bad. My bad. Im so sorry. I will tell you this, though, this room wouldnt work if you let an african uncle into the room because theyre not going to smash anything. Knowing my uncle would take all the stuff home with him. Im going to take that and that as well. Sir, you have to destroy it. Okay, i will destroy this tv by watching it every day, ah . Doubletime netflix. laughter moving on to the top story. cheers and applause impeachment, its democracys one star yelp review. There have been an avalanche of bombshell developments since we last checked in on the impeachment inquiry. Americas lead diplomat on ukraine bill taylor gave devastatingtime trump demanded a quid pro quo from ukraine. And rudy giuliani, trumps personal lawyer and man with bipolar teeth talked about how he needed cash. House republicans protested not being allowed to participate in closed door hey, even though 13 are allowed to participate in the hearings, which is ridiculous. Its like storming the mcdonalds that you work at. Just, like, i demand you let me in your shift started an hour ago, jerry. Just walk in. Aaahhh laughter so needless to say, many developments and today is no different. Catching up on the magical wonderful road to impeachment. singing its probably president ial harassment. cheers and applause trevor from the very beginning of trumps ukraine scandal, his defenders have relied on one key talking point to muddy the waters. None of the witnesses had actually heard the ukraine call. They all had secondhand information but none of them had actually heard the call. Well, today, all of that changed. Defying President Trump, a National Security officer, iraq war purple heart will testify to congress today. First white house official on that phone call between President Trump and ukraines leader to sound the alarm. His name is Lieutenant Colonel alexander vindman. According to his Opening Statement obtained by abc news, vindman will tell investigators, i did not think it was proper to demand that a Foreign Government investigate a u. S. Citizen, and i was worried about the implications for the u. S. Governments support of ukraine, insisting it is my sacred duty and honor to advance and defend our country, irrespective of party or politics. Trevor thats right. The latest person to testify against trump is colonel alexander vindman, which means two things one, there is more and more evidence piling up against the president and, two, trump has finally met a colonel he doesnt like. And you can see why vindmans testimony is not good for trump. Not only did he sound the alarm about what was happening with ukraine, but the guy is a decorated iraq war veteran with a purple heart. The only american with more impressive resumes is aunt beckys daughter. Because she did all that analyst captain of the crew them teem. She was killing it, yo. So if youre a trump defender, how you going to argue this guy isnt trustworthy . Instead of focusing on the more than two decades he served america, you can focus on where shes really from. He is from the soviet union, he emigrated here and has an affinity toward the ukrainian people. Here we have a u. S. National security official who is advising ukraine while working inside the white house, apparently against the president s interests. Isnt that kind of an interesting angle on this story . I find that astounding and, you know, some people might call that espionage. Trevor no, your eyes arent deceiving you. The new angle on fox is that america cant trust this purple heart recipient because he moved here from ukraine. Now, mind you, he was three years old when he came to the u. S. laughter so he didnt move here. He was moved here by his parents. laughter right . Because now theyre making it seem like he was a double agent for ukraine. Like what kind of baby spy furlougthriller are you watchin . This toddler out on streets wrecking shit . Is that what you think . A 3yearold russian spy . I will join u. S. Military and when time is right i will make up story about quid pro quo for mother russia excellent comrade baby and when your mission is complete, you can watch extra episode of papa pig laughter and i not just fox, its not just fox discrediting colonel vindman, sean duffy, a former republican congressman, was on cnn questioning whether the colonels loyalties lie. Hes a former ukrainian, he wants to make sure the taxpayer money goes to military aid to ukraine. Sorry, coman duffy, why does that matter . Hes an active duty military member, an american awarded the purple heart. Im of irish dissent, i love the irish trevor sean duffy made it sound leak he would sell out america to another country. Thats what he basically did. I have an affinity for ireland and if you get one potato in me, theres no telling what ill do to help us make sense of this ukraine in the impeachment saga, we turn to roy wood, jr. , everybody cheers and applause vindman is a decorated war hero, yet trumps defenders are not just challenging his credibility but questioning his patriotism. What does this mean . It means these people are right. The dude is straight out to have soviet union. I seen all the james bond, jason bourne movies several times in theaters by myself. Eastern europe is full of spies trevor he was brought to america when he was three. They can activate you at anytime. laughter i was programmed and didnt even know it till one day i went to popeyes and heard my activation phrase sorry, were out of spicey. Man, i blacked out and woke up laughter i woke up four hours later covered in bruises and buffalo sauce. Trevor i dont agree, but whatever, you dont trust a guy who was born in ukraine, but hes just one of many officials testifying that trumps call was improper. Like bill taylor, a vietnam vet and career diplomat who served over four administrations. Youre going to trust bill taylor . Never trust anyone with two first names. laughter i went to school with a dude named bobby keith and he was shady as hell. You know what he did . He bought drugs from me trevor wait, you sold drugs . Thats not what were talking about right now. laughter the point is can a two first name snitch like bill taylor be trusted especially knowing he might let me sell him drugs . Trevor okay, fine, but then what about john bolton . Trump picked him to be his National Security advisor and even he thinks this whole thing is shady. John bolton, i got to words for that, pssst, ha ha ha are you going to trust a man who wont even let us see his upper lip . laughter whats he hiding under there . Show us the lip, bolton . Do we even know theres a lip there . If you cant see the lip, you must acquit trevor okay, roy, why do you have a signed picture of john bolton . Oh, i met him on the street. He signed it for me. Hes a sweet dude, but i dont trust his ass. laughter trevor roy, we dont even need witnesses when you think about it. We have the transcript of the ukraine call itself. I know what it says because i read it with my own eyes. I dont trust your african eyes. Your eyes are only good for spotting two things, apartheid and lying. So im not going to trust your immigrant eyes over the world of president donald trump. Trevor but trump himself said he wants dirt on joe biden. You cant trust donald trump the guy lies all the time dont you ever watch the daily show . Trevor oh, okay. So at least you trust this show . No, you cant trust this show the host has two first names and one of his correspondents sold drugs cheers and applause trevor so we shouldnt trust colonel vindman nor bill taicialtion john bolton trump or ourselves. If theres no truth and tall pointless, why did you insist we fly you all the way to d. C. . I come here because this is the only popeyes im not banned from. Trevor i hope theyre not out of spicey. Well be right back activation activation roy wood, jr. , everybody [ birds chirping ] [ typing ] [ birds chirping ] well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. paul Wireless Network claims americas most reliable network. The nations largest and most reliable network. The best network is even better . Best, fastest, best. Enough. Sprints doing things differently. Theyre offering a new 100 total satisfaction guarantee. I mean i think Sprints Network and savings are great, but dont just take my word for it. Try it out and decide for yourself. Switch to sprint and get both an unlimited plan and one of the newest phones included for just 35 a month. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Lets talk about fire. It keeps us warm, it cooks our food, its how we show our appreciation for 30s traps, but in california right now fire is ruining peoples lives. Good evening, everyone, a statewide emergency is in effect across several areas of california tonight leaving hundreds of thousands of people displaced. Before sunrise, fire exploded across the hills of southern california, a blow torch in the mountains as a wall of flames tore into hillside neighborhoods. On this block alone, several homes incinerated in minutes. A miracle, say firefighters. Everyone got out alive. The kincaid fire, the largest in the state doubling in size this weekend, the blaze now bigger than boston. At times the fire moved so quickly it burned the area of a football field every three seconds. If youre in the mandatory evacuation zone and youre still there watching this, youre an idiot. Get the hell out. Trevor damn, the fire is probably looking at this dude like i thought i was doing the roasting wow but he was right. I know people want to fight and people think about this in a disaster but people are fools to not evacuate in a moment like this. You might be thinking who doesnt want to escape a fire . When disaster strikes, people do some pretty weird things. Despite the terrifying conditions in wine country, this newly wed couple was given a picture Perfect Moment during their photoshoot. I was thinking of american gothic, the 1930s painting, that was the regular normal of American Life at the time, and all of a sudden in a very strange way, this has become our new normal. Trevor okay. That is a couple who ~bleep while watching the purge. laughter and they may not have been in danger but there are people who think fire is the best time to stay at home. Fire is the best time to but people have to understand, these fires are serious and firefighter need everybody out of the way so they can fight the fires. Especially its halloween, it makes it worse, because the firefighters have to search through the smoke wondering if theres a victim or a skeleton from walgreens. Are you okay . Oh, shit, ha ha ha ha ha ha laughter plus the one year when everyone dresses like firefighters which means its going to be chaos. Im a fireman thank god youre back. Youre a kid no im not, give me the axe laughter these fires are dangerous and spreading over california, like natures version of scientology. The state is doing everything it can to stop them. Hundreds of firefighters are coming in to help from nearby states including washington, oregon, montana, utah, new mexico and idaho. On the ground and in the air more than 500 personnel in an attack against the flames. A plane dropping water with laser precision. Trevor you know what i love about firefighters . Because their job is dangerous they dont have time to be pretentious with fancy names. A poll, a fire truck, a super scooper. Not like scientists who have chilled out jobs to come up with fancy words. If scientists were busy, hired jen peroxide would be called fizzy fizz. laughter whats been particularly interesting about these fires is even though hundreds of thousands of people have been displaced in california, if you watch the news, you would think that this disaster some affecting v. I. P. Es. Tonight, the allout assault, firefighters desperately trying to keep flames from burning down some of the most expensive homes in southern california. Ir is threatening the homes of celebrities like n. B. A. Star lebron james. These l. A. Fires arent no joke, he tweeted. Look at actor josh dumels 5 million cliffside home. Fire is dangerously closely. Kate hudson was behind the wheel in this suv evacuating. Also forced to flee, arnold schwarzenegger. If you are in an evacuation zone, dont screw around, get out, he tweeted. Trevor i think the proper way to read the tweet is accent dont screw around, get out now im not going to lie, i would be so confused if i showed up and arnold wanted to save me, come with me a f you want to live. Hes doing the thing. Im not doing the thing. Come to the chopper. Can i get aselfy . Theres a fire behind you, what are you doing . laughter ive spoke upt spoken to peoplek this, the celebrities make up nothing percent of those losing their homes. The majority are real people, not termators. If you want and can help them, go to the link at the bottom of the screen and you can donate whatever you can. Well be right back hey aaron and todd, what do you guys do on a buy week . Buy a pizza, buy some wings, buy a pzone. Buy your own. Call pizza hut now. Get two or more of your favorites from the 5n up lineup, starting at just five bucks each. [ turn around, look at me there is someone walking behind you turn around look at me there is someone look at me herebuy a bunch of reeses. Ck. uh huh, there you go turn off all the lights in your house. yeah yeah trick or treat and then just dont answer the door. Not sorry, reeses. [ music instrumental which continues throughout spot. ] smoke alarm cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a critically acclaimed independent rapper who recently founded nonames book club, please welcome noname. cheers and applause okay. Trevor welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Trevor i have to start with the question that has been plaguing me, the people in the building and random people i speak to about the show. Okay. Trevor your name, your rap name, noname. Yes. Trevor it confuse as lot of people. Mmhmm. Trevor because they see noname and then people would be, like, wait, whos the guest . And they would be, like, why didnt you get the guests name . Im, like, its noname. Yeah, but whos the name . The names me. I am the name. Its a really terrible name. I couldnt think of anything clever