Some people say jesus can protect you from coronavirus. And donald trump finally admits hes not a doctor. So lets get into it. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Announcer from trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Lets kick it off with the big news. Here in the United States, the country is bracing for a week that the surgeon general, jerome adams, said is going to be our pearl harbor moment and our 9 11 moment. Adding that this is going to be the hardest and saddest week of most americans lives. Yeah, thats a really, really dire warning. But despite these warnings, there are still people who are not taking social distancing seriously. Man for some cities, good weather was all it took to draw out the crowds. People gathering in san francisco, flooding washington d. C. s famous seafood wharf saturday and strolling new yorks central park. Woman in los angeles, officers breaking up a celebration for a oneyear old little girl, calling in reinforcement after the crowd became agitated. Man 2 across the country, religious leaders are holding services, and risking their parishioners and their communities health. Man 3 driving out of this ohio parking lot is a woman who just attended a Church Service with dozens of other people, including children. Can i ask you about your decision to go to church, to be inside that building . I wouldnt be anywhere else. Arent you concerned you could infect other people if you get sick inside . No. People that dont go to this church . No. Im covered in jesuss blood. Im covered in jesuss blood. Okay, people, just because jesus is on your side doesnt mean you cant get sick. Dont forget. Jesus was on jesuss side, and he died, okay . Yeah, he came back, but that was, like, a onetime thing. I think its like mario brothers lives. Maybe hes got two left. And you know its funny how a lot of these same people who say, jesus will protect them from coronavirus are the same people stocking up on guns. I dont get it. Huh . Wont the blood of jesus protect you from an intruder . Nah, im going with buckshot for this one. imitates gun chamber clicking he needs jesus more than me. And look, whether you want to believe in coronavirus or not, it is real, and today, the United States passed 10,000 coronavirus deaths. And experts are saying that that number is probably undercounting things, because apparently, many deaths in the u. S. Have been labeled as pneumonia or influenza when they were likely coronavirus. Now, as america reaches the hardest week yet of this epidemic, states around the country have been begging the federal government to help them find ventilators for their overcrowded hospitals. But because the federal government took so long to react to this crisis, President Trump just doesnt have enough ventilators to go around. What he can give people, though, is some unsolicited medical advice. Man President Trump says he thinks doctors should use the drug hydroxychloroquine to treat patients who have tested positive. Thats hydroxychloroquine and. Azithromycin. Uh, and again, you have to go through, uh, your medical people, get the approval. Uh, but, uh. Ive seen things that i sort of like. So what do i know . Im not a doctor. Im not a doctor. Okay, heres what i dont get. Trump is acknowledging hes not a doctor while legitimate doctors who could answer these questions are standing right there next to him. Why are we getting his opinion at all . Imagine if you went in for a checkup and there was just some random dude behind your doctor giving his opinion, like, if you ask me, if looks like you got some of that aids cancer. But what do i know . Im just a guy who hangs out here. I do have to give some credit to trump, though, for at least giving us a disclaimer that he is not a doctor. I mean, he doesnt normally do that. In fact, he should end all of his Coronavirus Press conferences like a pharmaceutical ad. Hed just come out like, donald trump is not a doctor, and his advice should not be taken seriously. If you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, please let donald trump know cause thats pretty cool. Now before you get depressed by the fact that america is being lead by someone who knows less about medicine than dr. Pepper, there is still a lot of good news out there. Dont lose hope. For instance, in europe, although spain and italy are still reporting more than 10,000 new infections each day, their corona numbers are finally slowing down, which could be a sign that the worst has passed. And south korea theyre superstars theyve reported only 47 new cases yesterday. And with fewer than 200 deaths out of a population of 51 million people, south korea has basically emerged as maybe the only nation to have handled the pandemic with near complete success. And i mean, lets be honest. South korea was always going to beat corona, because from what i can tell, everyone in that country has a basement inside their basement. So i mean, if youre the virus, good luck finding a south korean person. But maybe the best news of all is that there are rumors that netflix might be dropping a new episode of tiger king, people. Thats right. Jeff lowe told a fan online that he had been filmed for a new episode scheduled to drop this week yeah. And when has jeff lowe ever lied . I mean, if you cant trust a 65yearold man who dresses like a rebellious teenager, who can you trust . And i guess this is how low the bar has gotten for what counts as good news right now. We find out theres more episodes about deranged murderers and people being cruel to animals, and were like, yes oh, some good news. Thank you, lord and im gonna be honest, guys. I am terrified of this news because every episode of tiger king has been crazier than the previous episode. So whats gonna happen in this new episode . Are we going to find out carol baskin and her husband faked his death to get the insurance money, and hes been secretly living inside one of those tigers all along . yells but lets move on. Over the weekend, we got a major update from the cdc. After months of telling us that only sick people should be wearing masks, the cdc now says everyone should cover their faces with masks made from cloth, like shirts or bandanas or scarves. Because apparently, even people who dont have symptoms of coronavirus can unknowingly spread the coronavirus. We are all coronavirus. Sounds like an inspirational message. Even if you dont feel corona, corona can feel you. So basically, anytime we go outside for essentials, all of us should have a bandana or something on our face. The cdcs gonna have everybody looking like brokeass Mortal Kombat characters. Get over here whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, dude, coronavirus. Not that close. Just get over there. But still, folks, thats a major shift from the cdc, and its already having a big impact. For instance, joe biden said that from now on he will wear a mask in public, because its important to follow the science. Meanwhile, President Trump has said that these guidelines are voluntary, and he will probably not wear a mask. Which, lets be honest, doesnt surprise anyone. Trump is all about appearance. Hes not gonna be wearing a mask. He doesnt care about safety. In fact, the only way they can get him to wear a mask is if his aides trick him. Yeah, they just got to trick him like hes a child. No, mr. President , its not a mask. Its a border wall for your face. like trump so viruses are like the mexicans of germs. I got it. Now, if youre not the president and you want to help and try and stop the spread of coronavirus, you can make your own mask at home. Yeah. All you have to do is put pieces together, and you can sew your own mask if you want to. And i know it sounds difficult, but i actually watched some youtube videos, and. Its actually pretty easy. Hey, guys. So, im gonna show you how to make your own face mask at home. All you need is a piece of fabric, like a tshirt, and then something to cut with. You want to get the fabric to the place where you. God grunts so thats basically how you make a face mask. Pretty simple. But, uh, you know, just to see how other people do it, im gonna check in with some of the correspondents and see if theyve had any success, cause i. I know theyre a pretty crafty group of individuals. So, uh, let me just skype in with jaboukie. Uh. electronic chiming yo, jaboukie. Whats going on, dude . Yo, trevor. Whats up . I just got back from a walk outside. Have you been down the street . It is beautiful this time of year. Thats actually the reason im calling you. I cant. I cant go outside right now, cause i cant make a mask. I tried, and. It turns out ii bleed a lot. Like, can you help me figure out how to make a mask . It looks like you got a cool one. Yes, yes, well, i, you know, im prepared, but i know how to make a mask from scratch. I told you to get those tshirts, right . Those tshirts that you wear around the office. Oh, yeah, yeah, ive got all my work tshirts here. Yeah, ive got them. Perfect. I have the instructions right here. Im gonna read them out. So, with the first tshirt, okay. Youre going to. Uh, to cut it in half, like. Okay. Yeah. Cut it in half. In half . Uh, yes, exactly like that. Yes, yes. Okay. Likelike, sort of, like, right across it. It doesnt need to be neat. You could just. Yeah. Oh, great. Okay, okay. Right. Oh, damn. All right. Oh, so this is probably gonna be, like. Is this, like, the front of the mask type thing . Yes, exactly, exactly. Okay, cool. Yeah, got it. Fine. Its good. So. I got that. All right, perfect. You got that one. So, take the next. Uhhuh . And then youre gonna want to cut that one up the middle like that. Up the middle. Okay, cool. Yeah. All right, so just take it like. Like that, and then. Wow. All right. Yeah, its tricky with the hands, but. Yeah. I didnt. I didnt know that your hand could, like, bleed so much from a finger. Its, like, a weird thing. So, i can just, like. So down like that, right . Yeah, you can even just rip it, you can even rip it. Right. So, now its, like, just, like, one big piece. Perfect. Yes, yes. Exactly. Okay. So, then, for the last one and this ones super important. Thats the white one, right . Yep, i recognize that one. Yeah. Um, youre gonna want to cut it diagonal, like that. Okay, diagonal. So, like, through the sleeves. Yes, yes, exactly. Okay, cool. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. All right, i got it, i got it, i got it. Yep, yep, yep. Wow. Man, this is. This is really hard. I see why people are struggling. Okay, cool. I got it. You got it, though, you got it. Through the sleeve. To the other side. And. Almost there. Oh. There, i got it. Yes you got it okay. Aah. perfect yeah so, now. This is great, dude. This is so much fun. Okay, what do. So what do i do now . So, take all three of those yeah . Andand put them in a garbage bag and throw them away. I never liked those shirts, trevor. They dont look good on you. Yo, jaboukie, these were my favorite shirts. And that was the problem. Youve got to be looking crisp, trevor. You cant be out here lackin. Im sorry i called you, jaboukie. I hope you have a fantastic day outside with your mask. Goodbye, jaboukie. That would be a really cute crop top. Asshole. All right, let me see if i can get dulce on. electronic chiming dulce hi, friend. Youre a sight for sore eyes. How are you . Im all right. You know, im just in here just, um, cooking and crafting and just really plotting my takeover of the world. What . I knew i should have called you. Wait, what . Hmm . Anyway, i knew i should have called you first. Because i need someone who can craft. Im trying to make a mask for myself to stop coronavirus, but i dont know how to do it. Um, yeah, theres a thing that happened. Anyway, can you. Can you help me out . Mmmm. I dont need a face mask to go outside. cause i just wear this tshirt that says i already have corona. Why would you do that . To trick the corona. When the corona sees my shirt, itll be like, i dont need to infect her ha i already been there hmm . Dulce, the coronavirus cant read. How do you know that . We dont know anything about this virus. This bitch could have a masters. We dont know. It could work for nasa. Nno, dulce, you need to get a mask when youre outside. Plplease dont. Please dont use the shirt, dulce. Thats. Yeah, even thats better. I got to go. I really thought youd help me. This is. Man, let me see if i can get someone. electronic chiming yo. Michael kosta. Trevor whats going on, dude . How you doing . What hap. Are you okay, man . Dude, thats why im calling you, man. Ii cant. Making these masks is harder than people say. Like, i almost chopped my hand off. Dude, sewing and needles you dont need to do that, man. I got it, trevor. Whwhat do you mean . I took a pillowcase. I cut some holes for the eyes. This is it no sewing, no loops. I just came up with it. Check this out. This works. It protects your fa. Oh. I think i. Made a klan hood. Yeah, i think you made a klan hood. Sh. Im. Oh, my. Yeah. This is not. Thought. Wewe. Itsits. We should just stay indoors. Its fine. I. Can we not. Can we just forget it . Were. Yeah, ii dont even. This never happened. I dont even. Well, there you have it. An easy way to make a face mask. After the break, im gonna be chatting to jennifer garner, so dont go anywhere. Well be right back. Ill turn you all byinto rock zombies. Ld tour rock and roll [ screaming ] if were gonna save the world, we need to unite all the trolls. Like k pop. Reggaeton. Yodelin. And hip hop. My whole bodys made of glitter and ill throw it in your face well, were doomed. A smooth jazz troll . I dont care for smooth jazz. The World Premiere is in your home friday. Go to watchtrolls. Com for more. Rated pg. Wearlier today, i spokely with Actress Jennifer Garner about her initiative to help kids continue learning while theyre stuck at home during the coronavirus outbreak. And we also talked about how we can help kids get the nutrition that they need while their schools are closed. So, check it out. Jennifer garner, welcome to the daily social distancing show. Thank you. Its nice to not be with you. laughs is this the longest time youve been at home, like, ever, basically . I mean, sometimes when youre shooting something, you dont leave town, but yeah. This is the longest time, for sure. Ii feel for people who have kids in this time, because one of the most talked about effects of coronavirus is obviously the economy, its peoples health, and then i find in a close spot, like, right near the top, is parents saying this is the worst time theyve ever experienced in their lives because they have to teach their kids. You have three children, correct . I have three children, and their schools are doing a great job of, um. Theyre still receiving instruction from school, so i havent had to be their teacher. Ii think im illequipped to be their teachers. And im really proud of them. Theyve been great. Ii have no complaints. But if they. If they were toddlers and babies, i would probably lose my mind. Yes. Toddlers are. Toddlers are the worst because they dont understand what youre saying, cause, i mean, theyre basically drunk the whole time. laughs yes. Yeah. And i feel like youre in such a good place that youve decided to help others get into a better place, um, which is part of the reason were chatting today. Um, the initiative that youre kicking off with Reese Witherspoon sounds amazing. Amy adams is part of it, as well. I saw lupita nyongo. I saw chris evans. I saw so many alist names coming together. And if i understand correctly, youre gonna be reading stories to children. Tell me more about this. Well, amy adams called me a couple of weeks ago and said, iim worried about the kids that are out of school. And i know. You know, 30 million kids rely on school for food, not to mention, you know, so many kids dont have broadband, dont have books at home, dont have access to School Supplies or anything like that. And their schools cant afford to print up stuff and send them home with them, anyway. Mmhmm. But, um, her idea was wouldnt it be great if celebrities read books for kids who are home and for whom the news is scary and theres not a lot of content. And then we asked for donations. And i said, well, this is actually what i do. And we immediately asked no kid hungry to partner with us because their specialty is urban and food. Our specialty is rural and education. Mmhmm. And, so, the combination of things has been really awesome, and whats incredible is just how much people want to help. And, um, Reese Witherspoon, always the first to jump onto a way to help people. And then, um, weve just been running it from my Little Office while my kids are in zoom school. And, um, yeah. Its. Weve raised a, you know, couple million dollars. Wow. And in mostly ten dollar donations, which just shows that people at home are really generous. There are a lot of people that say, yep, ill give ten dollars. But also, people are just enjoying the videos. So, youre making these videos, andand youre reading to kids, and youre raising the money to help other kids who need to get food, andand youre trying to just, i guess, help everybody in any way that you can. Um, i guess the question is not the why butbut rather, like, why these areas specifically . I know you worked in it, but what was. What made this so important for you . Well, i know what it looks like in rural america. I grew up in rural america. My mom and. My mom and dad both did. They both grew up poor. I didnt, but i was surrounded in West Virginia by generational rural poverty. And iive worked and traveled extensively throughout rural. The poorest pockets of america with save the children for 12 years. Mmhmm. They are living on a razors edge. Um, theyre really. When these kids show up monday for school, they run into school. And its not because the breakfast that is served at school is so fancy. Its because they havent eaten since the snack at the save the Children Program friday after. In the afterschool program. Theythey might have eaten, but they havent had a real meal. And i know. I had just been in kentucky the week before all of this went down visiting our programs out in perry county. And all they were talking about was, okay, how are we gonna get food made . And then can we afford gas and bus drivers to get it to the kids . And when we do, how will we get enough books to be on the buses for the kids . And, so, when amy called me and had this great idea, it was just like, yeah, this is exactly what i should be doing and exactly how i need to spend this time. Um, before i let you go, how can people help . If they want to jump in, if they want to participate in any way, what can they do to help . Well, first of all, just for fun of it, for the fun of it, go onto instagram to savewithstories, and youll see. I mean, we just put steve carell up. Tomorrow, we have Linmanuel