In person and you want to change your background, you have to physically move to another location. We look at teaching in the time of krone arks Michael Kosta faces death and aunt becky gets a full scholarship to prison. Welcome to the daily distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor you know, when im feeling down, nothing makes me happier than hearing some good news. Also prozac works, but since the state says im no longer allowed to write prescriptions because im not qualified, heres our good news for you in our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Lets kick it off with weed, aka marijuana, jazz, spinach, nelson manedibles. For many people, it has been an important way to get through the coronavirus lockdowns, but, now, it turns out it might also be a cure for coronavirus itself. A study in canada has prompted the idea that marijuana can help cure covid 19. Researchers at the university in canada applied multiple strains of cbcs to cells to see if it changed the ability to be affected by the covid 19. They found might concentrations lowered the number of cells the virus could attach itself tosm the study is a preprint publication, meaning it hasnt havent been repeated yet. Trevor can you believe it . Turns out your high school toner friend was right, weed really can do it all. If it works, kind of makes sense. The coronavirus is on the way to infecting your lungs, and then hits all the weed and all of a sudden the virus is, like, wait, where was i going . What am i doing here . Wow, have you ever noticed, like, im a virus but im, like, also, like, a , like, a thing . Now, before you order a costco size mug, this study was released before being peered reviewed which means it hasnt been confirmed. You see the articles cbds cures this thing, but it hasnt been confirmed. Its weird when researchers put out studies themselves. You would think somebody would have to put out their studies but they do it themselves. Like mixed tape rappers. Yo, you want science . Check this out, dope reviews in the control and variable group. Check this out, man, yeah, check it out. Come on. In my opinion, people shouldnt be able to put studies out before theyre verified. Before i realized this study wasnt peer reviewed, i ran out and bought a bunch of weed. What am i supposed to do wit now . Another big caveat was this study was backed by a cbd company. Why are you trying to find additional benefits to weed . Isnt it enough it gets you high . No meth heads say, scrub he the on your car, makes it really shiny, see why i like it, right . Maybe getting high isnt your vice. Maybe youre into gambling. Good news for you, too, because vegas is coming back, baby the Las Vegas Strip could wedge visitors as soon as june 1. I see at lot of social distancing, tables will be six feet apart, menus will be paper menus, sanitized between each and every use. Not one part of the business that is not going to change. On top oft that, every other slot machine is out of service with the chairs removed. Same for the woker table. Employees will be using electronic sprayers to disinfect the dice and elevator buttons. As for masks, they are mandatory for the employees. They will be given out to guests on the gaming floor, something never seen before in sin city casinos. Trevor thats right, vegas is a seenos are about to reopen. Ill will be honest. I dont know why anyone needs a casino. I feel like anytime you step into whole foods youre placing the ultimate bet, lets put it on the line for another tub of yogurt cay seens says they will Institute Safety measures like handing out masks. When i play poker, i do a tiny thing with my tongue. One things for sure, though, this is definitely going to change a classic gambling tradition like blowing on the dice for good luck, or wiping your nose with your cards or storing poker chips in your mouth. Cant do that anymore. Lets check in with mike pence, Vice President of the United States and guy who covers his eyes when simba and nail la kiss. When he stopped for lunch at a local restaurant. He gave us the most mike pence moment imaginable. Vice president mike pence did something this week many of us are patiently waiting to do, ordering food inside a restaurant. He stopped as a burger jont with Florida Governor ron desantis yesterday. What do you recommended . Spice are or not . Not spicey. Trevor this dudes favorite spice girl was se celine dion. Its crazy mike pence can even eat at restaurants considering his diet restrictions. I also cant have other meat that touched other meat. Its a sin. What you didnt see is the part when the employee asked pence whether he wants breasts or thighs and mother tackled the shit out of him. Lets check out todays headlines. Scary news from michigan. It was already one of the hardest hit states to have the coronavirus pandemic. Then has the expression goes, when it rains, it pours. Emotional whiplash for thousands in Central Michigan this evening as stayathome orders were turned to cause to evacuate after dam failures triggered catastrophic flooding. Water burst through the Edenville Dam in Central Michigan. The dam failed. 100 failure, evacuate the area. The breaches spent more than 10,000 people scrambling, Emergency Responders going door to door to evacuate residents. Roads, cars and homes were no match for the waters rising five feet deep in some areas. Hard to believe that were in the midst of a 100year crisis, a global pandemic, and that were also dealing with a flooding event that looks to be the worst in 500 years. Trevor goddam it, man, michigan has been hit with so many tragedies backtoback. This is horrible. I feel so bad for the people who have to flee their homes during a pandemic. Now when youre loading the car, you have to choose between photo albums and toilet paper, which is why i always order my family photos printed on toilet paper. A tip for you guys. Even though daily life stopped, disasters havent. Weve had floods, tornadoes, Hurricane Season is around the corner and only a matter of time before kanye comes out with another album. By the way, what really sucks is that this administration has been talking about fixing americas infrastructure for three years now, but the only thing theyve really worked on is the border wall. People of michigan should tell trump mexicans live in the water and hell rebuild the dam walls in no time. Got to get them up and going. I heard they swim so fast build the wall aunt becky, the last high file perpetrator in the College Admissions scandal is thrower herself at the mercy of the court. Breaking news in if sweeping College Admission scandal. Lorlori loughlin and husband was charged for paying to get two daughters into the yrt university of southern california. She will spend two months behind bars and pay a 150,000 fine. He will serve five months and pay a 250,000 fine. Trevor so disappointing. Another rich, white famous lady getting sucked into the prison system. You hate to see it. But, yes, after insisting she was innocent for over a year, aunt becky has suddenly changed her tune. Which just shows you how sick people are of being locked inside their homes with their families. Yeah, because two months of corona and all of a sudden she was, like, actually, your honor, im guilty. Take me to prison. I cant stay around them for long. Few ask me, this is a genius time to plead guilty to any crime because, with coronavirus raging, they have to let people out of prison. Yeah, in fact, knowing aunt becky, shell probably pay someone to fake her coronavirus test for her. Yeah, as you can see here, i contracted covid 19 while i was playing for the olympic team. Last headline is about fake news. The one thing that spreads even faster than coronavirus. As this pandemic has grown, so, too, have all the tweets about how to fight it, how not to fight it, how its growing and how its not growing. Turns out, most of those opinions might not be real. New concerns about misinformation and the coronavirus. Researchers say nearly half the twitters accounts speeding messages about the pandemic are likely computerized, but the study found over 100 false narratives about covid 19 since january. Its too early to determine who might be behind the accounts, but the goal seem to be creating division in america. Trevor yes, who could be putin out all this coronavirus information thats russian through the internet . I guess well never noviet union thanks, guys. Thank you. You know, when you think abit, being a twitter bot must be the most depressing bot to be. Think about it, all other robots are cool. Youve got robots that are like im going back in time to kill john connor then other robots are like, engage. Then these bots are, i tell Hillary Clinton created coronavirus. Honestly, im so shocked so many twitter accounts that have been tweeting about coronavirus are fake. So many twitter accounts are fake. We think its people. Its bots sending out information. I need to text my girlfriend about hey, girl, did you see this crazy story about twitter bots . I love you. Shes so real. All right. I got to take my tv out for a walk, but after the break, well look at how teachers are just not having a good time. Dont go away. Wedding day, huh boys . Been there, done that. Twice your cousin. From boston. Karen, im just gonna say what everyone here is thinking. You look smokin. Total smokeshow. And they never did find his finger. They had to close the pool for like an hour. I brought a date. Names sam. Dig in. Love is like boston lager. Rich, complex and its over too soon. Right, chrissy . Oh my god. Oh my vo . Love. Its what weve always said makes subaru, subaru. And right now, love is more important than ever. In response to covid19, subaru and our retailers are donating fifty million meals to feeding america, to help feed those who now need our help. Its all part of our commitment to our communities through subaru loves to help. Love, its what makes subaru, subaru. The daily distancing show. You know, usually, when we talk about coronavirus, we focus on the lives lost, the economy and jobs. But the truth is, this pandemic is changing our world in a million different ways, and one of those ways is how educators are going to keep their classes going. Were going to explore that all in our new segment teaching in the time of corona. Teachers, theyre the people who educate us, guide us and force us to mutilate the bodies of innocent frogs. While teachers have always had a difficult job, coronavirus has made things hotter than ever harder than ever. The challenges of Remote Learning taking toll on teachers. Teachers are feeling overwhelmed, they are being asked to do things theyve never done in their professional careers. Converting homes into Virtual Learning centers. Always going down the rabbitt hole of how to plan lessons and put them online. Its a whole different ball game keeping the kids engaged when you cant see theirfies. Its challenging for educators because its difficult to tell if students are really paying attention. We can only get the kids Attention Span 30 to 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, theyre donezo and looking to do something else, watching youtube or something. Trevor that sucks. Imagine pouring your heart into something and people are looking at their phones in the middle of it. Like what youre doing right now. Yeah, i see you looking at your phone during the show. Breaks my heart. Although, considering half the economy is now youtube based isnt such a bad things if these kids are more into youtube than school. I can show you plenty of youtube millionaires, but i cant find many who knows what time two trains pass each other millionaires. But if more kids ants woo pass youtube, teachers should make lessons youtubey. Turn them into makeup tutorials or something. Okay, class, im going to put foundation here, just like the colonists in roanoak established a foundation in the americas. Im not sure this is much different than regular school. Even when students are sitting right in front of you, theyre probably thinking of youtube videos anyway. Now, the war of 1812 was fought between the United States and the united kingdom, from june trevor heres whats amazing about teachers, not only are they not giving up, but many are actually stepping up their game to help meet these new challenges. Welcome to my african savannah. This teacher doesnt normally dress in a costume and stand in front of a green stream but very lit is normal. A math teacher spicing up online lessons with impersonations. Numbers, go down, go down trevor this Clinton High School teacher is taking her lesson plans to your students tik tok starting with the basic equations. Hello, were twins adding a little miewcts. An eighth grade teacher will do anything to support students. He promises to do one crazy thing a week if his students completes their assignments. He kissed a pig and ate bugs. Trevor this teacher turned this into an episode of fear factor to get his students to do homework. Which is incredible. But its setting Unrealistic Expectations for the workforce. I need the report in the morning then eat this crayon, bitch good educators know some things just cant be transmitted through a screen. When the coronavirus put the brakes on the school year, pat nagle came up with an idea. He hops his on his bike and pops in for a pop quiz. Im here for your final pop exam. Most days patrick myrrh tock can be found Teaching Health and phys ed inside regal row public school. These days he takes to his bike and visits students in front of their houses for a social distance dance party. The senior at wiley high cant go to school, but the princicle quickly realized he could go to him. In 12 days he visited every senior, 6612 of them from six feet away. He gave each a candy bar and said one day well look back at this and snicker. I delivered that joke over 600 times, and its pretty lame. Trevor this is the most heart warming story of a grown man handing candy to children. Eth great these teachers are making an effort to go door to door and reverse halloween their students. At the same time, its so shocking to kids because its so jarring when you run into your teachers outside of school. Mr. Donaldson, what are you doing at the mall, why are you holding that ladys hand . Where is yourblockboard . Are you living a secret life . Features are some of the most hard working and underappreciated people in our communities. I, for one, think they could use a break. In normal times, if a Teacher Needs a day off, the School Brings in a substitute. What happens in Virtual Learning times . Well, we found a service that can help them out. Are you burned out from teaching virtually . Have you created your own google hangout just so you will have a place to cry . Do you find yourself daydreaming about Summer Vacation even though you wont be able to go anywhere . Try zoom stitute designed exiewstles nor zoom. They have every type of substitute you find in real life. The inspirational inner city substitute. You know what they see . They see a bunch of kids playing for nite on their nine tendos. I see a bunch of future dr. Futureys. Except for you, kevin. You probably a dr. Oz at best. The running 30 minutes late substitute. Whew hey, guys, sorry im late. Okay. Thats all for today. Trevor the too much information substitute. So then i said, marvin how you gonna hook up with my sister on easter . Dressed like an easter bunny . Whown what . How about i shove a basket up your ass . How about that for resurrection day . The stuck in the past. State semifinals 2005, i was up a set 40 love and it happened, i got a foot cramp oh, damn it i should have won sighs anyway, so thats a rombus. A substitute on his phone the whole time. Everyone, we, today are going to be going the homework was assigned should we be doing something right now . Yeah, you should. And, of course, the acting too young for her age substitute. Nite one. Epic. Definitely putting that on my tik tok. Now you guys arent supposed to follow teachers, but i wont tell if you dont. All of our subs are available and ready to zoom at a moments notice. talking at the same time trevor when we come barks Michael Kosta goes to the beach and meets the grim reaper. Stay tuned. Marvelous party, darling. See you in monaco. Indeed. Bro, you know how to throw down its literally all i do. Yo, this was turnt. Yes, yes, it was turnt. laughs dude, hit me okay, too much heat. My bad come, join us do you mind if i. Keep it next party is at my house. Lets do it here. I was hoping youd say that. Ive never held a can before. I think youre doing it right. engine revs im pretty sure this is us. Twisted tea. Keep it twisted. The xfinity voice remote will find exactly that. For, happy stuff. The groups happy, im happy. You can even say a famous movie quote and it will know the right movie. Circle of trust, greg. Relax, the needles are jumping. You can learn something new any time. Education. And if youre not sure what youre looking for, say. Surprise me. Just ask what can i say to find more of what you love with the xinity voice remote. We see you teaching. Innovating holding down the home front and the frontlines. We see you loving living. And looking ahead. We see you dads. Thanks for showing us what it means to dad on. Trevor welcome back to the daily distancing show. As summer arrives, states are figuring out when and how fast to open and with corona still in the air, it can be a matter of life and death literally, as Michael Kosta found out. All across america, eccentric freedom lovers have been protesting to reopen the country. Now beaches are the latest battleground. Floridas are open for business. Northwest florida beaches are back open. Hundreds came out to soak up the sun, sand and surf. I love the beaches being open. This is just wonderful. While many floridians are enjoying their godgiven right to beach, one of them has a killer protest of his own. In northwest florida, one lawyer took a bold approach to express his concern. Thank you. Im here today to make a point that we i think its premature we open our beaches. Who was the strange florida man . Did terrorizing beachgoers make a difference . To find out, i made a date with death. My name is dane, im a lawy