Well could welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noahful trdz all right, people, lets kick it off with some ace ball news, thats right, baseball, marks pasttime and the sport michael swrord an cheated on basketball with. The coronavirus pandemic shut down the Major League Season before it could even start. But now teams are ready to get under way covid style. As Major League Baseball gets ready to resume play it turns out theyre going to be using crowd noise from a video game. The sounds will come from the game mlb the show, the league is hoping that combined with stadium announcers and walkup mus particular will make it sound like the stadium is are actually full. Yes. While it is still too dangerous to fill a stadium with a real crowd, the mlb is at least going to fill it with the sounds of people watching baseball. And i think we actually have a clip of what that sounds like. Blank yawning sounds . Even. You see people watching baseball at home. So for friends who want to recreate the stadium experience at home there is a lot of things you can do to make it sound like you have been there. Ed. They no idea grab a brary from the fridge and timely cover your bathroom in another mans urine, that is baseball. Do i like this idea. I think we should apply to to other areas of the coronavirus lifelike a lot of us miss speaking out at restaurants. But why not just pipe in some restaurant sounds while you are eating dinner at home. Hi there, i just wanted to see your enjoyment. Actually you just gave me the food. So i havent actually tasted it yet. No problem. I will come back in ten seconds and ask you again. Could you just come back like after i have eaten a bumpleg of it. Okay, thats perfect. I will come back at the most inconvenient moments but when you need the check i will totally disappear forever. Sounds good. Trevor in other news were slowly learning coronavirus has also affected two things in america that are even more popular than base you will. Disney world and stuffing your face. Forget munching on those mickey pretzels while strolling through disney world in orlando. Eating or drinking while walking has been banned to ensure that people are Wearing Masks while moving around the park. Now in order to eat or drink people have to be stationary and six feet away from other guests. The only other time that guests are allowed to have their masks off is at special relaxation stations that are set up around the park. Trevor okay, so basically what happens here, disney world set up the space, you need to wear a mask unless you are eating. So everyone at the park was like no problem, im just always eating. So disney decided to close sna loophole and to me that is some bull shit. This he are taking away one of the main draws of disney world which is Walking Around eating junk food all day. That is crucial to the disney experience as meeting mickey or going on rides or wishing you never had kids. Not to mention if you are walking while eating, then you are distracted by Everything Else going on. If you have to sit while you eat, it gives you all the time to reflect on what you are actually eating. That is a reality no one should have to face. Also how is disney going to tell us about our food hygiene when the Little Mermaid is literally over here brawshing her hair with a fork. I mean the woman collects trash. Is nobody going to talk about this . Shes collecting trash. But still, this is happening and we all have to get used to it i jis hope that at least they still let me take my smoothie on the roller coasters. But lets move on, while the United States is putting restrictions on people at theme parks and banning them from stadiums, germany is now so far ahead with the coronavirus, that they are actually throwing a giant concert just to see what happens. In germany scientists are planning a mammoth covid19 experiment. Theyre inviting 4,000 music fans to a free concert. Attendees will be fitting with tracking devices and equipped with florescent Hand Sanitizer to help researchers better understand how to stop the virus spreading inside indoor venues. Trevor what a flex. Now this is how you shit on the whole world. Germany is having a concert with 4,000 people. Meanwhile in america, you cant even do an open mic without the entire town coming down with the ronna and i dont know which band will perform but i hope they chose the Rolling Stones because if a lifetime of drugs cant kill those dudes, coronavirus dont stand a chance. And you know, im not an expert but surely there is a safer way to do this experiment, right. Lake before you test it on 4,000 human beings, why not try like a concert full of rats. A lot safer and it is adorable. I mean look. He cant play abase guitar, rats dont have rhythm. We all know that. Lets move on now to the United States corning. Americas model nursing home. Of the 435 members of the house of representatives, one of the most liberal is new york democrat a alexandria ocasiocortez. And one of the most conservative is Florida Republican ted yoho. So when those two bump into each other in the hall, it might be no surprise that things get ugly. New York Democratic representative alexandria ocasiocortez accuses the florida lawmaker of a costing her on the steps of the u. S. Capitol. Yoho first approached her and told her she was she was dis gusting in rougher referring to her positions over unemployment and crime and she was responded calling hi rude and them as yoho walked what way from that conversation can, he calls her an fing b, actually using those words. Moments ago on the house floor republican congressman ted yoho apologized to congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez. The offensive name calling words attributed to me by the press were never spoken to my colleague. And if they were con streud that way, i apologize for their misunderstanding. Can i not apologize for my passion or for loving my god, my family and my country. Trevor wow. That had to be one of the worst apologies i have heard in my life. In fact, that is the only apology i have ever heard where at the end i went wait, did i just apologize to him . Because while he is saying i cant apologize for loving my god, man, loving god doesnt make you say those things. Right. Loving god doesnt make you profain. The pope is never out there like love surrounds us all of sons of bitches so for a guy who talks a lot about personal responsibility, ted yoho is having a pretty hard time taking responsibility for his actions. In fact, if i may speak like a congressman, i think hes being a [bleep] bitch about this whole situation. All right, well take a quick break. But when we come back trump hosts a Coronavirus Briefing and i dont know, guys, i think hes becoming president ial. You dont want to miss it trolli. [bag crinkling] welcome to our land hey sorry about your hand but its better in here, ya its fun in here trolli, trolli, trolli trolli. Amazing school district. The hoa has been very involved. These shrubs arent board approved. You need to break down your cardboard. Thank you. Violation. Violation. I see youve met cynthia. At least geico makes bundling our home and Car Insurance easy. And it does help us save a bunch of money. Two inches over regulation. 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We know that he likes to go vroomvroom in a big cool truck and we know that kids love him. One of the big things we learned about him is how trump handles a crisis. Right because whenever trump is dealing with a problem he has a certain set of moves that he always tries. Sort of like a video game character, you know. First he pretends the problem doesnt exist. Then he pretends he already solved the problem. And if that doesnt work he blames the media and the democrats for the problem he probably created. Now unfortunately none of those moves have worked with coronavirus. No matter what he tries, it just keeps on spreading. So yesterday trump had no choice but to pull out his superpower move, changing his tone. A remarkable change of tune for President Trump today, the aboutface coming during a Late Afternoon news conference. The president changed his tone today after months of insisting that covid19 was in retreat. He said it will get worse before it gets better. After downplaying the virus for weeks the president came before camera with a blunt assessment. It will probably, unfortunately, get wrs before it gets better. Something i dont like saying about things but thats the way it is. I have no problem with the masks. I i view it this way. Anything that potentially can help, and that certainlily can potentially help sks a good thing. Have i no problem. I carry it. I wear it. Trevor oh no, looks like someone finally got his covid test back, positive in a negative sense, folks. But yes, President Trump is finally saying that masks work and that coronavirus could get even worse. So basically trump has turned to that one friend of yours on the group chat who insist on posting memes hot months ago. Yo, you have seen baby yod blanca now i will Say Something that i myself didnt expect. St actually a little scary to hear trump talk like this. Because like when a scientist says it, it is because those are the facts. When trump says it, it is because reality is so awful that it show cuts through the thousands of layers of paranoid delusion. Like you no shit is bad when even trump breaks character. You know . Like if barney the dinosaur took off his headlining okay, kids [bleep]. Were its not looking good. Are we going to sing a song. No, guys, were really [bleep], its over. I dont think are you allowed to say the f word, barney. There are many reasons why trump suddenly shifted tone. Maybe it is because he is struggle bigly in the polls against joe biden or maybe it is because he has a new campaign manager. Or maybe it is just because he got his ass handed to him on an interview on fox news. I mean it is one thing to get embarrassed by the liberal media, hes used to that. But when fox news is calling you out on your bs, that has got to hurt, man. Because now are you getting owned in front of your friends like getting a wedgie at your own birthday party. Whatever the reason, it should be obvious to anyone with a memory bigger than a gold fish that this is a sincere change of hert because weve all been here before. President trump was completely different in his tone and the way he was approaching the coronavirus. A dramatic shift in tone from President Trump yesterday. President trump changing his tone. A real change of tone there. To say the least from the president , a really sobering sense from the president. President trump just moments ago with a somber tone. But the overall tone, a lot more somber especially coming from President Trump. The president did strike a very somber tone in his latest briefing. Robin, he was as grim as he has been through this entire crisis. Yeah. He was tricked before, people. Trump decides to pretend hes taking coronavirus seriously again. And then two days later he is doing what . Hes tweeting that it is all a hoax and we should just eat our krer yl with bleach. If the pases is any indication, trumps somber new tone is real as his kin stone because deep down as much as he wants to hide it he is still trump. Eastern at a press conference where he is trying to change things up, he couldnt help but do this. The one moment the president veered off message, when he was asked about Ghislaine Maxwell accused of enabling Jeffrey Epsteins exploitation of mine errs. I dont know, i havent really been following it too much. I just wish her well, frankly. Have i met her numerous times over the year, especially since i lived in palm beach. And i guess they lived in palm beach. But i wish her well. Whatever it is. Trevor okay. So just to recap. Colin kaepernick, son of a bitch. Accused child sex trafficker, i wish her well. This is the one time when nobody would have been upset if trump had used one much his trademark insults. Low iqified, hater, loser, psycho, lock her up, anything. Instead this is the time that trump chooses to suddenly become a feminist, she broke the Glass Ceiling of sex traffickingk you have got to respect that. But look, aside from that one time when he wished an alleged sex trafficker well, he did manage to reign it in for one press conference. And i guess thats the lesson here. As long as trump sticks to the scripted, doesnt tell us what he thinks and doesnt ak on any of his own impulsesk then he makes a pretty dope president. But in he is allowed to actually do what he wants, well then america, i wish you well. Dont go away. Because after the break, Jordan Klepper meets some of the trumps beautiful vote introat boaters and then well be chatting with a comedy legend, jim carrey. Well be right brad apartmentsdotcom makes getting into a new home easier than ever. woman 1 how hot do you think it is . woman 2 a million. If only we had a c. Im so happy. brad apartmentsdotcom. The most popular place to find a place. Welcome to camp tonsafun on xfinity its summer camp, but in your living room. Learn how to draw with a minions expert. How to build an indoor Obstacle Course plus. Whatever shes doing. And me, jade cattapreta. The host of es the soup camp tonsafun. Its like summer camp, but minus the poison ivy. Unless you own poison ivy. In which case, why . Just say summer camp into your xfinity voice remote to join. Thethreetopping pizza for just 9. 99. Is also the easiest. With new contactless curbside pickup, let us know when youre here without ever leaving the safety of your car. No one outpizzas the hut. All strength we aint stoppin believe me go straight till the morning look like we wont wait were taking everything we wanted we can do it all strength, no sweat daily social distancing show. Coronavirus has shut down a lot of things this america, schools, movie theaters, churches an of course trump rallies. And no one was more upset about this than our very own Jordan Klepper. But after months stuck in his apartment jordan has found a safe way to get back out with phis favorite people and to once again finger the pulse. In the era of covid social gatherings come with a certain amount of risk. But Trump Supporters have found safer footing on water so i chart ared a boat with the new jersey baby, the site of a trump rally on boats. While the president himself isnt there, he shouted out to his beautiful boaters and it is the perfect way for me to get back out into the field. To get my sea legs under me i had to talk to a real deal yachtsman like captain john of toms river, safe social distancing practices meant staging an interview that was not awkward at all. Were going to the donald trump parade today. And rally. Were expect over a thousand boats. I got to say, im getting a little boat envy here. Boat envy, pennist envy, you know. I was making that connection too, enough land talk, i wanted to see just how impressive these beautiful boaters were. St a line of trump boats as far as the eye can he soo. It really just keeps going. It is like an election polling place in a minority district. Who are you voting for . Donald trump who are you who are you voting for. Donald j. Trump. Must be undecided. Usually not so worried out on the water, but technically this is an entire armada of jersey drivers. [bleep] you too. Little history, we are here on the jersey shore, that is the cove where snookie got fingered and the beach that Chris Christie hogged to himself. Make America Great again. Is a weird slogan for an incumbent. Im worried about covid. Boaters absolutely love him. And the president loves boating. But why . Well, because a lot of beautiful women come with the deal, number one. And hes always, loved women, you know, that was obvious when i first met him. And you know, as another man i could tell. You could tell. His way of looking at a woman, and just stroking them with your eyes. Yeah, that is kind of guy you want in charge. I was on his motor yacht in atlantic stivment he threw a party on it, i was a guest on board. You wer