York city to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with the weather report. Spoiler alert, you might want to lock yourself inside again. As if 2020 wasnt enough we now have zombie Tropical Storms. This is video from when hurricane paulette hit bermuda earlier this month. It was downgraded to a post tropical low pressure system but paulette has regained strength and became a Tropical Storm again on monday. It is now about 300 miles off the coast of the a gloars island azores ises island. Trevor zombie storms, man, the weather has treully figured out how to mess with us now. Storms used to hit us and then be gone. But now its its like all right, im done, im done. Whoa, im back, got you bitch. Feels like Mother Nature realizes america isnt take coronavirus seriously so keeps coming up with new ideas to keep people in their homes, wildfires, storms that dont die. Pretty soon when we open the front door there will just be a tree that kicks us back in the house. Get your ass back in there. At the same time though, we acknowledge that a zombie storm is just a storm that lost pressure and then regained it. It is only exciting because the weather people try to jump on the 2020 sucks band wagon and give it a scary name. But i mean you can make anything sound scary that way. Its not morning dew, its zombiecon den saying. Moving on to new york city. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of. Weird. Why am i getting a call from alicia keys lawyer. The pride of new york city has always been the mass transportation, one the worlds oldest, largest and greatest subway and bus systems am but it turns out there is always room for improvement. Today the mta will vote on a new rule that really should have been an old one, it will ban defecating on the city subways and buses and inside transit facilities. Right now rules mandate 100 dollar fine for createk a nuisance or unsanitary conditions on Public Transit but the mta feels it needs to be more specific. About what is and is not a toilet. Trevor wait, pooping on the subway is only getting banned now . That is insane. Here i was getting all angry when people used to do that, turns out they were just obeying the rules. And look, i dont want to make broad generalizations leer but im willing to bet that if you are taking a shit on the subway, you dont have 100. Do they really think that giving out fines is how they will solve this problem . Because i mean im not a genius but im pretty sure nobody who has a toilet at home and who isnt mentally ill is taking a dump in the subway it is not like wall street bankers on on their bluetooth like im telling you barry, hold on, have i to jump on the six train and pinch off a load. All im saying is i dont think the main reason people were pooping on the subway was because its free. If anything fining people for pooping on the subway could back fire because people are going to shart shiting on the subway to show how rich they are. Yeah, thats right, baby, i got that subway poop money. Bam. Lets change the subject to the continuing impact of the black lives matter movement. Already we have seen Police Departments force to accept reforms, statues of confederate leaders top emed and problem mattic syrup poured out. And now another outdated brand is getting a makeover. New this morning uncle ben Rice Products are getting a new name, bens original, the logo depicting a chicago head wait certificate also being dropped. The new branding will have the same blue font and words packaging and hit shelfs in 2021. The changes come amid a Broader Movement about racial equality. In june the companies that make bunk el bens, aunt jemima, cream of wheat and mrs. Butterworth said they would retire or rebrand their products. Trevor ben original, who the hell is ben, i dont rice from some stranger i dont know. I trusted the other guy because he was my uncle. I get that they wanted to change the fame because some people didnt like the connotation but surely they could have replaced uncle with another family title, you know, make us comfortable. Could have been nephew ben, or cousin ben or your moms special friend ben who she wrestles with while you play with your toys in the other room. I know are you making sex with my mom but this rice is dope. Now personally i think st good wrappeds are reexamining examining their mascot and while we are at it can we renamer cheetah because that is an african animal, as an african i have never known a cheetah named chester in my life so cheetos, time to change it to bathandwa, cheetah. While sph great that some products are changing packaging to be less offense of. Less not pretend this is a worse matter of manifest taition in america. What is Holding People back is stuff like this. The c. E. O. Of wells fargo under fire for comments he made about the banks lack of diversity. Reutess are report that charless schafter blamed it on a limited amount of black can bats candidates during a zoom call and repeated it in june. He promised to double the number of africanamerican employees in key positions by 2025. Already adding two people, he is isnt the only one facing criticismment criticism. The post is reporting that five recent executives hired by jm morgan chase c. E. O. Jamie dimon were all white. Trevor okay. This is an interesting dilemma. Wells fargo say that they want to hire more black talent but also say there is just not enough black talent in finance to hire from. Which is weird because every day thousands of black graduates are trying to get into finance. Maybe they should pick up one of those ads, youre not hiring black people t is because you dont give a shit, dont be like it is because you cant find them. How hard are you trying, hey do you see any black people to hire, yeah, yeert do i, all right, we will go with chad. One of the things that gets me about this story is this, wells fargo cant find black people to hire, according to them, right, but whenever wells fargo is searching for black people to exploit, oh, then they never seem to come up short. They are intn bsh for charging black and brown people higher Interest Rates in sacramento, philadelphia, miami, baltimore, they found black people then, whoever found those black people, just have them look for black people to mier because clearly they know where the black people are at. And wells fargo might be in the news but they arent the only ones making this, cues. You hear it all the time, Companies Want to hire black talent, they just cant find it but the truth is st all about your hiring practices. Tons of companies rely on their employees to recommend new people for them to hire which is natural, right. But the problem is if your company is already predominantly white there is a good chance the people your employees recommend are also going to be other white people. You know, the only people they know are going to be white. I mean look at the office. Right . The show, the office, think about it. If Michael Scott asked his employees for referrals on a new hire, how many of these people are going to have a black friend to recommend . Do you think toabee does, angela, dwight . Do you think dwight has a black friend . Dwight doesnt even have human friends, these people dont have any black frensd. The only black friend is stanley and he already works there. Look. Here is the truth of the matter. If Companies Want to hire black people, they will find a way to make it happen. They can start apprenticeship programs, they can start getting people trained into the positions that they want to hire them for. They can give a shot the same way they gave many white guys a shotment these are the same arguments that company had with women back during the day, but women are just not qualified. Where do you find a woman, they are all in the kitchen. If you want to make it happen, you can make it happen. And dont tell me it is because black people arent in finance, black people love finance. Im not just talking about graduates. Im talking about brack people in general. You ever watch a rap video, those people counting more money than you ever seen in your life. So what do you think makes you qualified to work in this bank. I got my mind on my mub and my money on my mind. Youre hired. All right, we will take a quick break but when we come back we will talk about why november 3rd mate just be the start of this years election. Stick around. Hey guys, this is for all your parents out there who are quarantined with your kids and finding it nearly impossible to get anything done. So today im going to show you how to create a Treasure Hunt for your child. First you want to start with a treasure map. This one z is pretty elaborate. So this is going to keep my kids busy for hours. If not days, honestly. Found it. Imagine a future where Machine Learning will track your sleep. Excuse me, maam . Yes . sleepily yeah, this already does that. Oh, i didnt know that. Well now you do. Lets try this again. Imagine, one day youll be able to take an ecg. It already does that. Really . What about detect hard falls . Does it do that . Does that. Does that. Does that. Thank you. Encourages you to stay fit . Does that. Oh i dont know. Imagine a tiny device that will check your blood oxygen level. muffled it already does that. Well. That was fun. Pourbypour commentator. And this is unprecedented. Watch him stand tall in the pocket. Hes looking for a cheers over the middle. And he makes the connection touchbeer truly stunning athleticism, folks. Dos equis. A most interesting beer. Truly stunning athleticism, folks. At tmobile, we believe access to the internet equals opportunity. Thats why were launching our most Ambitious Program ever. Project 10 million. To help close the homework gap by offering School DistrictsFree Internet access and mobile hotspots for 10 million eligible households over the next five years. Tmobile. Working to connect every student. He trained his mind among the Black Bear School of chess. Speed players. you lose trash talkers. I dont know why you lookin at me. You should be looking at the board tap move tap what you think . You wanna come inside my house how about i come in your house ko and through defeat, he learned. To dive, again and again. You can beat every bear in the forest, but the game is never finished. The daily social distancing show. There are now just 41 days until election day, which mean there are now just 42 days until everyone stops fighting over who won. So lets take a look at the post election cluster [bleep] that awaits us in our new segment vote gas am 2020, ballot royale. On a normal Election Night the story is predictable. The votes are counted, cable news pay declares a state red or blue, the. This year thanks to the coronavirus pandemic more people than ever will be voting by mail. And because those mailin ballots will take days or even weeks, it means that it might be awhile until we know who actually won the election. Which according to the fbi means we better buckle up. A new warning from the fbi, just 41 days before election day the bureau says foreign actors and cybercriminals will exploit the time rurred to certify and announce Election Results by disseminating disinformation that includes reports of voter suppression, cyberattacks, targeting election infrastructure, voter or ballot fraud and other problems intended to convention convince the public of the elections illegitimacy. It also alerts the increased use of mailin ballot duece to Covid Protocols could leave officials with adding that foreign actors and cybercriminals could exploit the time required to certify and announce the elections results. The bureau encourages voters to be patient with slow results. It says americans should verify information through multiple reliable sources and think twice before sharing unverified material on social media. Really fbi . That is your advice . Be patient and dont share unverified information on social media . Do you know us . Were not going to do any of that shit. The di after the election the most viral post on facebook will be that george sorrous paid Jeffrey Epsteins ghost to vote for joe biden. But yes, the fbi says that foreign enemies will try to spread disinformation to undermine the election while the votes are being counted. So if they really want to mess with the vote couldnting i hope they dont do that thing of just shouting outran dom numbers, that will throw america off. It gets me every time, 61 million for biden. 24. 61 million and one for biden. 143. 61 oh, got to sart again. One for biden. Two for biden. So yes, there is a real threat that americas foreign adversaries will latch on to the fact that many votes want come in until after election day. And then what they will try and do is use that to convince voters that the election votes arent valid. While the fbi is warning america about foreign adversaries spreading disinformation after the election, there is already a pretty major domestic adversary who has been doing it for weeks. Im worried about absent votings. I want to see the results of the election on november 3rd. And by the way if it is anything like these other events, it could go on forever. An theyre allowed to count votes until seven days after election. Are we going to wait a week after november 3rd. If it comes down to nevada, which it could very well, i dont think so. I dont think it is appropriate. Its going to be the greatest fraud in the history of election. The only way were going to lose this election is if the election is rigged. Remember that. Trevor yes, no need to wait for risha to undermine americas election, because americas president is already doing it himself. I guess he is bringing back foreign jbs to the u. S. After all. I mean if trump isnt working with russia on this, then the russians must be really confused. Demetri, did you tell trump to say that . Me, i thought maybe you told it. Why would he undermine his own democracy. Maybe just really strange guy. And as for the idea that americans cant wait one week to find out who is going to be in charge of the country, im sorry guys, i dont agree with that at all. America is used to waiting a long time to get results. I mean we have been doing it for coronavirus tests for months now. You know it is actually funny when it comes to Election Results, trump is like americans cant wait this long for important information. But when you ask about his tax returns it is like we cant rush this delicate process. Weve got to be accurate. But its been four years. Thats because it is hard to. Here is the thing because this is 2020 and everything is a nightmare it turns out trump doesnt even need to prove that mailin ballots are invalid in order for him to snatch the election away. Yeah, all he needs to do is prolong the fight over it according to a terrifying new report from the atlantic, the Trump Campaign is discussing plans to drag out the final vote count in swing states for 35 days. And the reason they want to do that is because thats the point at which the state are constitutionally rurred to certify elections. That means there is no discussion by that time, trump could just ask the state legislators to set aside the popular vote and choose the winner for themselve and since the legislators in most swing states are run by republicans, guess who they are going to pick. So once again donald trmp is a black light on americas democracy, thanks to him everyone is now is hing how americas system relies on good states in order to succeed it is basically the please only take one halloween candy of democracy. Yeah. Works in theory but all you need is one asshole five year old to come and now is trump going to get away with any of this. Well, it has never been tried before so ultimately that is going to be up to the Supreme Court which is exactly what donald wants within the president says he needs to move quickly to name a replacement so the full court can hear any cases that come up from the november election. We need nine justices. You need that. With the unsolicited millions of ballots that theyre sending t is a scam, st a hoax, Everybody Knows that. And the democrats know it better than nibbles. So you are going to need nine justices up there. It is a very serious problem. And the democrats know what they are doing is wrong. And all they want to do is go forward with it. So i think youre going to need the nine justices. Trevor the one thing i always appreciate about donald trump is that he doesnt try to make us work to figure out his evil plan. Because other World Leaders are coy, you never know what they are vig, because Vladimir Putin is like crimea, i dont have a plan for crimea, maybe crimea has plans for itself. Meanwhile trump is on the street like im going to blow open the door, break open the safe then im going to wipe my prints off and mar a lago. And that is how i plan to steal all the halloween candy. So look, im not going to sugar coat. This is a dangerous situation that america finds it self in. But there are two faws in Donald Trumps plans. One is that even the justices that he put on the Supreme Court could end up ruling against him. And based on how many people trump hired that ended up hating him, that could happen. The second flaw in the plan is that if people come out to vote against him in high enough numbers, the results will be so clear and resonding that there will be no way he can challenge them. So basically what i am saying is donald trump is trying to grab the election by the pussy and America Needs to pull a melania and slap that tiny hand away. Okay. We have to take a quick break, dont go away because bob wad ward is going to be on the slow and we are agoing to ask him what st like to interview donald trump for nine hours, thats right, nine hours. Well be right back. Biden doesnt know the difference between iran and iraq. We Just Launched 59 missiles heading to iraq. Heading to syria. Yes. Heading towards syria. Now biden is going around like hes a tough guy, he doesnt know where the hell