Vote in this election so, please, people, go to votevotevote. Com and register before its too late. And dont tell me youre too busy its 2020, nobody is busy anyway, coming up on tonights show n. A. S. A. Slapped an asteroid. Desi Lydic Foxsplains the hunter biden emails, and we begin an epic countdown of the top one hundred scandals of Donald Trumps first term. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevor noahs couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor lets kick things off with donald jelly bean trump. For days he has been complaining about an interview that he taped with 60 minutes saying they were so mean and so unfair to him. Now, the interview is supposed to be on tv this sunday. But this morning, out of moy, trump posted his own unedited video of the interview, and i dont know what he was hoping to prove, but just from the very beginning, guys, i dont think it shows what he thinks it does. Are you ready for some tough questions . laughter trevor are you ready for some tough questions . No. Nobody is supposed to answer no to the question are you ready for some tough questions . You dont answer no to that. Its like at a concert, are you ready to rock . No thanks, mr. Bon jovi only donald trump would think he could choose the level of difficulty of his interview questions. Its like picking the spiceyness of his chinese food. Let me get those questions extra mild, please. I dont want anything that can make me sweat. Almost a quarter million americans have died from covid 19 under his watch. What was he expecting from this interview . Mr. President , a pandemic has ravaged the country, millions are still out of work, so my question is, coke or pepsi . And what blows my mind more thag anything is that trump posted this video thinking it somehow makes him look good. Eth like making your tinder profile of you crying in the shower, ladies crying maybe trump is stressed with the looming election coming up. Hes not tom one. We could all use good news. Lets get some in our ongoing segment a ray of sunshine. Our first ray of sunshine comes from the pope. Gods emergency contact. For centuries, the Catholic Church has stood firm against the idea of gay couples. But now, pope francis has decided to handle the issue with will and grace. We have breaking news in on a major new shift from pope francis. For the first time, he is now endorsing samesex civil unions. This happened surg during a documentary that premiered today during romes film festival. Its reported he talked about samesex couple oof rights to be a family and said they are children of god. Trevor pope francis, the greatest pope of all time second best technically. Olivia pope and then francis. But its close. Once again, the pope coming out and going up against the establishment taking a progressive substance for the church. I love this guy and i think i know what happened here just like the rest of us, the pope has been quarantined at home binging every season of yeaqueer eye d you see what gobbetten did with that guys hair . Thats a miracle some are not happy with the popes announcement because they insist gay unions undermine the sanctity of marriage. Lets be real every marriage undermines the sanctity of marriage. Half of all marriages end in divorce. The president has had three wives. Your dad is probably having an affair right now. Its never been about sanctity, its been about homophobia. The real reason straight people dont want gay people to get married is they dont want gay people to have it all. Gay people have the best style, parties, parades, easily the best flag. Their flag looks like their parents bought them the jumbo crayon pack with all the colors. Then on top of that, they want marriage . Straight people are, like, no, i want the one thing you guys dont have. I want those shorts. I cant fit into that. I dont have the butt. Outer space is where balloons live after you let go of them. Today were getting coolo news from a small rock. Tonight here the first images after the history made in space, n. A. S. A. Pulling off an astonishing feet, for the First Time Ever landing a spacecraft on a hurtling astroid going 60,000 miles an hour but they stuck the landing to treef a sample. Theo cyrus rex landing on bennu, it had todescend on a spot no larger than a couple of pilots. New video of of osirisrex. It will take about three years to bring the sample back. Trevor thats incredible. N. A. S. A. Basically flew across the university to bitch slap an astroid. Im a little worried because paced on how 2020 has gone so far, touching that astroid for six seconds probably knocked it on course to slam into earth. Biden won the election aaahhh but scientists are now saying it will take three years to bring the samples back to earth, three years guys, be honest, by the time it gets delivered. The new scientists will be, like, did anyone order space dust . Im going to throw this out, i dont know where its from. To us this is an historic achievement but i always wonder to aliens were just shoplifting in the universe. One day theyre going to come to earth and say you stole my fathers ashes. That was trash th dust. Youre saying my father is tash . No. You die. Moving on, earths chinatown where theyve come up with moving technology. A landmark in china needed to move for new construction so it walked across town. That is the correct verb here. This Historic Building in shanghai was fitted with robotic legs under a 7600ton frame allowing it to walk over 200 feet to avoid demolition. State media said a former primary school, built in 1935, undergoing renovations to preserve its structure. Trevor did you see that . That building just walked further than i have during this entire pandemic. Can i just say what a great moment this is for the architect because its always special to see your building take its first steps. I feel bad for the guy using the bathroom while this was happening. Hey, guys im in here, occupied im a little concerned, buildings shouldnt be moving around. We need to know a building will stay in one spot. I dont want to go all the way down to the dmv and find its on vacation in the hamptons. I dont know if this technology is great for random buildings, but we have to get this technology from china and bring it to black neighborhoods because walking buildings might be the only way to avoid gentrification. Oh, no he turned his barbershop into a glutenfree bakery. Run, barbershop save yourself, run good news about the coronavirus. While the worlds most plirbled scientists workday and night to find a cure, they may have been beaten to it by a teenager. A 14yearold from texas winning 25,000 for her work on a potential treatment for coronavirus. Anika won the 2020 3m challenge. My research sacksly a drop in the ocean of research being done by numerous scientists and individuals across the country, but at this point, every research and every effort matters to help end the pandemic and control its aftermath. Trevor okay, people, this is incredible. A 14yearold may have just found the solution to covid 19. 14. The only thing i discovered the solution to when i was 14 is how to get rid of my playing music knowing teenagers, shes only going to be the second most popular girl in school next to the one who snorted tiktok. If i won this, none of my High School Teachers would be able to tell me shit trevor do you know the answer to question number five . No, but i know the answer to coronavirus and if this girl didvolve coronavirus, 25,000 is not nearly enough of a reward. Are you serious . Congratulations, you saved the human race. Go buy yourself a honda accord. And finally, the president ial race yes, even the president ial race has a ray of sunshine because, yesterday, an old friend returned to the campaign trail for the first time, and, man, he seemed to be really enjoying himself. Honk if youre fired up. Honk if youre ready to go. You know, i know the president spent some time in erie last night and apparently he complained about having to travel here. Then he cut the event short. Poor guy. Where is this great plan to replace obamacare . They keep promising a great replacement. They say its coming. Its been coming in the next two weeks for the last four years. Thats not normal president ial behavior. We wouldnt tolerate it in our own family maybe except a crazy uncle somewhere, you know of the taxes donald trump pays, he may be sending more to foreign governments than he pays in the United States can you imagine if i had had a secret chinese bank account when i was running for reelection . They would have called me beijing barry. Trevor man, it is so nice to see obama back on the campaign trail. Though the drivein rally is a little weird. With all the honking, sounds like obama just started giving a speech in the middle of the road. Great, mr. President but im late for work horveg honk you could tell obama was having a good time, he was drilling so hard becky called the cops. Does obamas rants have a tiny hint of jealousy . You have this guy who pays no taxes, says whatever he wants, runs around going craze ysm i didnt know you could do that. Sounds fun. When we come back, our epic countdown of Donald Trumps top 100 scandals. After that, senator Elizabeth Warren is joining us on the show. Dont go away. Patience is not a virtue, it is a weapon. Whats your wild rabbit . First, theyre sour. Then theyre sweet. Sour patch kids. Sour. Sweet. Gone. burk customer deepsomething like that. Sour patch kids. burke well, heres Something Else with your farmers policy perk, new car replacement, you can get a new one. customer that is Something Else. burke get a whole lot of something with farmers policy perks. We are farmers. Bumpadum, bumbumbumbum tmobile is the leader in 5g coverage. Introducing iphone 12 pro with 5g. The most amazing iphone ever meets americas largest 5g network. Now more people can download and upload at 5g speed in more places. For 100 get 2 iphone 12 pros 2 new lines with unlimited 5g data included. Woooooow. Its crispy. Its creamy. Its not your average chocolate bar. Smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. Its kinder bueno. Crispy wafer and creamy hi love this view. I love that every time this commercial airs, i get to drink another mountain dew. I had this hundred thousand dollar student debt. Two hundred and twentyfive thousand dollars in debt. Ah, sofi literally changed my life. It was the easiest application process. Sofi made it so theres no tradeoff between my dreams and paying student loans. Student loans dont have to take over for the rest of your life. Thank you for allowing me to get my money right. Only known for one big scandal, donald trump has truly changed the game,er and thats why the daily show will be counting down Donald Trumps 100 most tremendous scandals. Over four days, were going to celebrate them all. The ones you forgot and the ones you wish you could. So buckle up, baby because the trump trains about to go off the rails. President trump expressed interest in buying greenland. And he went out and bought a big yacht, and he had a very interesting life, i wont go anymore than that because youre boy scouts so i cant tell you what he did. President trumps july 4 absolute to america is more than 5. 3 million. Members at maralago are influencing how President Trump runs the department of veterans affairs. I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted. I didnt get a thank you. Okay. Hes looking down, maybe hes looking up, i dont know. Appearing to push aside the Prime Minister of montenegro for a photo on. Banning residents for a travel program. Ripping up memos, letters, things hes finished reading or doesnt like. Threatened to bomb sites of cultural significance, an action that could be a war crime. Someone as despicable to hitler didnt even sink to using chemical weapons. Scar moochie said im not steve bannon, im not trying to suck my own what trump will not reveal. He will conclude the Congressional Black Caucus do you want to set up the meeting . Frederic douglas is an example of someone whos done an i mazing job and recognized more and more. You will be receiving the president ial medal of freedom. When you wash your hands it takes you if youve times longer. I wont talk about the fact people have to flush their toilet 15 times. Greta must work on her arrange management problem, chill, chill. I think theres possibly drugs involved. I love this guy here. Plus the f. B. I. Over the Florida School shooting theyre spending too much time trying to prove russian collusion. Reducing the number of mail sorting machines and removing collection boxes. Christmas stuff that who gives a ~bleep about christmas stuff but i need to do it, right . Whoo damn thats exhausting and that brings us to tonights final scandal coming in at number 7 , it involved the secret service, saudi sheiks and a one star who tell that gets a yelp review from the u. S. Constitution. Before donald trump was in the oval office he was in every business. Gentlemen oreo rejected my bid so we lick race for it right here with double stuffed. Our president likes his oreos the way he likes his pants, double stuffed. So when trump ran for president , its no surprise he saw dollar signs. During his campaign, candidate trump paid business man trump nearly 12. 5 million for expenses like airfare, office space and meals. They even dropped 2grand on trump ice. The only bottled water thats 100 angus beef. The griff was going great until the unthinkable happened. Donald j. Trump will become the 45th president of the United States. Which was a problem because the president s job is to protect and defend the constitution or whatever, not to get rich. So donald trump selflessly promised the nation he would gev it all up. My two sons are going to be running the company. Theyre not going to discuss it with me. Thats right, trump would part with his precious businesses and his only consolation, not having to talk to his sons. But much like those folders, trumps promise proved to be empty. The president elect decided he will not sell his assets or place them in a blind trust. Thats where things get conflicts of interesting. As president hes been steering government money to his own companies for the entire time, and that means then to his own pockets. He spends nearly every weekend as you know at one of his golf clubs. Secret service dont stay for free. He charges them to stay there. Federal spending records show the taxpayers paid trumps businesses more than 900,000 just since he took office. Getting paid for vacations . This dude is an instagram model. According to eric trump, officially running the Family Business while daddy focuses on the good of the country, the Trump Organization only charges the secret service defense. Like 50 bucks. 50 a night for a hotel room. But according to the receipts, the real bill is more than 650, which means theyre either being way overcharged or one secret service absolutely loves to blear roan. The big bucks are in visitors who choose to stay there because you never know when lining the president s pockets might be the thing to get them to rewrite federal policy in your favor. We know that foreign governments are spending money there in order to curry favor with the president of the United States. In the philippines, kuwait, the government of saudi arabia through its lobbyists paid for 500 nights in rooms team mobile which needs approval for a merger from the Trump Administration spent more than 95,000 on rooms there. Foreign governments and corporations are greasing their palms, hair and faces, too. Of course, trump isnt the only one winning. The president s financial take homes with foreign governments have given americans Something Better than money. The opportunity to learn what the emoluments clause is. Emolument is basically a basement. According to lawyers familiar with the socalled constitution, receiving money or gifts from foreign governments is illegal. On the other hand you people with this phony emoluments clause cant argue with that even if trump loses in november, he will still be the first president to literally rake in billions of dollars while serving in office. Never before has a living president earned this many dead president s. Im really rich. You certainly are now. And if the National Economy is lying in ruins at his feet, at least donald trump finally found a business he could be successful at. If youre smart and persevere theres a good chance you will come out on top. Cashing in on the presidency. Im surprised trump didnt just go all out. Why not turn the situation room into an airbnb . Thats all the time we have for tonight. Join us next time as we explore the world of masculine toilettes, racists algaiters and alternative facts as we continue to count down Donald Trumps 100 most tremendous scandals. Trevor we have to take a quick break but dont go away because when we come back desi lydic gets to the bottom of fox news getting to the bottom of hunter biden. You dont want to miss it. avo what kind of value are you looking for with your next new vehicle . With subaru, you get Kelley Blue Books 2020 best resale value brand, 2020 lowest 5year cost to own brand, and most trusted brand for six consecutive years. No wonder Kelley Blue Book also picked subaru as their 2020 best overall brand. A trusted brand and a proven value. Its easy to love a subaru. Get 0 apr financing for 63 months on select new 2020 models, now through november 2nd. I love bedtime. The thin, sweet bite to end the night. Oreo thins. Thvisibly fades thee tdark spots away. New neutrogena® rapid tone repair 20 percent pure vitamin c. A serum so powerful dark spots dont stand a chance. See what i mean . Neutrogena® dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh light it up, dynamite shining through the city with a little funk and soul so ima light it up like dynamite cause, ahah, shining through the city with a little funk and soul ima light it up like dynamite, whoa for two weeks now, conservative media has been in a frenzy over a supposed scandal involving hunter biden. Since the mainstream mediason covering this story, we made desi lydic watch fox news for 48 hours straig