Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah July 11, 2024

But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your honor although, yes, i did try to escape with a method used mostly by cartoon super villains. And how are you going to try to escape in a lake . My man, a lake doesnt go anywhere its like if o. J. Took the white bronco around a nascar track. Youre not escaping. Youre just wasting everyones time im also disappointed that the cops just waited him out. Whats the point of even having an aquaman, if were not going to use him . But lets move on tho the only story of the world the raging coronavirus pandemic. This morning, alarming covid numbers all across the country, 1 million americans diagnosed with covid19 this week. Thats about 100 americans diagnosed every minute. In philadelphia, where cases are rising, the city starting sweeping restrictions friday, closing indoor dining, gyms, and putting an end to youth sports through the end of the year. California also seeing a surge. Starting tuesday, 94 of the state will fall under its strictest tier of restrictions. In michigan, rapid spread, almost 13,000 new covid19 cases in one day. In utah, i. C. U. S are nearing capacity. Frontline workers from new york, once the epicenter of the virus, are now heading there to help. In iowa, the strain on state hospitals led governor kim reynolds to order a new mask mandate and nearly all indoor spaces, and a ban on indoor gatherings of more than 15 people after months of resisting calls to do so. If iowans dont buy into this, we lose. Trevor you know, guys, its amazing to me that were eight months into this pandemic, and were somehow getting worse at dealing with it. It makes no sense. Imagine if i started learning ference today, and eight months after practicing, i dont speak french. And i think its a little insane that these restrictions are just now happening. Because weve known the importance of wearing a mask for months, and some states are just now putting a mask mandate into place. Only now . This is like hosting a pool party, and then in the last ten minutes saying okay, new rule no shitting in the pool. Yeah looking at you, david i mean, better late than never, but thats some shit floating around. But this is why it is so important to always wear a mask in public spaces. You can protect your loved ones and your whole community with a 3 strip of fabric, people. You have no excuse. And maybe youre saying, but trevor, im a rich snob. I would never wear something that only costs 3. Well, now you have no excuse, either. Who says staying safe cant also be a fashion statement . The worlds most expensive face mask now making its debut. The 1. 5 million mask was created by an israeli jewelry company. Hey, the holidays are coming. It features more than 3,600 black and white diamonds set in 250 grams of pure 18carat gold. The designer says its made to be 100 wearable. It features a slot for the wearer to insert a yes, disposable n91 mask, which is finer than a n95 mask. Trevor wow, a 1. 5 million face mask rich people learn how to read the room. People all over the world are like, were starving, and we need a more equal society, and then rich people are like, is there any way i can breathe through diamonds . Im just saying, maybe lay low for a little while. Honestly, guys, where are you even going to wear this thing, a fancy party . Where are you going to wear a diamond mask . Youre not going to wear it in the street. Youre not supposed to have parties during corona youre gonna end up wearing this around the house, just showing it off to your cat. So. Mr. Whiskers. Impressed . cat meows no, you go back where you came from of course, masks arent the only important thing needed to slow the spread of coronavirus. We also have to keep up social distancing. And right now, that means not having big family gettogethers for the holidays. Which sucks, please, dont get me wrong. I get it. But does it suck more than having your loved ones die of covid . Well, according to the trump administration, yes, it does. Dr. Scott atlas, who is one of the president s sources as it relates to the pandemic, and he has now come out and is talking about what people should be doing as they head into thanksgiving with so much attention on the holiday right now. This kind of isolation is one of the unspoken tragedies of the elderly, who are now being told, dont see your family at thanksgiving. For many people, this is their final thanksgiving, believe it or not. What are we doing here . I think we have to have a policy, which i have been advocating, which is a whole person, wholehealth policy. Trevor no, man, this dude is not serious. For many people this is their final thanksgiving . Really . I mean, yes, thanks to the trump administration, its definitely going to be many peoples final thanksgiving, but still. And i love that whole whole Person Health policy. If you die of covid, thats the whole thing its not like youre going to say, well, i died of covid, but, damn, those mashed potatoes were great look, i do think its important for people to see their families, especially around thanksgiving. People look forward to it. But i also think its more important to be able to see your family for the next 10 thanksgivings theyll hopefully get to have after it. Its not like americans arent used to the idea of not going home for the holidays because they have to keep the country safe. American generals in world war ii werent like, sure, beating hitler is important, but whats the point of freedom if we have to miss cranberry sauce for one year . Lets go home, soldiers and its so hilarious that conservatives have ended up here because when this pandemic started remember they said we dont have to shut down the economy. Just be safe and responsible. Then they were like, we dont have to wear masks. Just protect the elderly. Now theyre like, you know what, bring the elderly in here. I cant fit all these leftovers in my fridge, okay. Get in here . It just doesnt make sense. It just doesnt make sense why trump is willing to risk old people being exposed so much to corona this much. Unless he thinks that it will end up making him look good in the long run, because you wont have old people dying if all the old people are already dead. Were going to take a quick break, but when we come back, Donald Trumps lastditch plan to win the election which he lost. And after that, my cantmiss interview with kevin hart. Stick around. I love this view. I love that every time this commercial airs, i get to drink another mountain dew. You got me feelin punchdrunk crazy, so crazy its everything i want, now maybe, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh can we do it again . Your blessings all i ever wanted im stressed, you got me feelin nauseous wowwowwowwowwow wowwowwowwowwow wow everything you need, when you need it most. 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Brewed for those with a fighting spirit. I have my say so. Silver white winters that melt into spring. These are a few of my favorite things. Daily social distancing show. It has now been 10 days since joe biden was declared the winner of the 2020 president ial election, but outgoing president , donald jigglypuff trump, is still looking for ways to overturn the results. Recounts havent worked. Legal challenges havent worked. He even tried signing an executive order that november 3rd was opposite day, but that somehow didnt work. But it turns out there is one more thing that trump could try. Could faithless electors save president trumps reelection . Some republicans trying to get faithless legislators to vote against the will of the people. President trumps allies and his family today urged republican state legislatures to ignore the will of voters in their states and to install electors that will cast electoral votes for president trump. Trevor yeah, even though trump lost the election, some of his people are hoping he can pull out a win by using faithless electors. And although faithless electors sounds like one of your aunties grownup novels, theyre not. And, look, please dont get me wrong. This would be a loooong shot. Its about as likely as Mitch Mcconnell being on the cover of mens health. But, theoretically, faithless electors could give trump the presidency. So the question is who are they . What are they . And how could they be used to overturn the election . Lets find out, in another installment of if you dont know, now you know. When you were a little kid, you probably believed that people vote for president , and whoever gets the most votes wins, yeah. Simple child mind. The same way you believed that your younger brother was brought by the stork. But once you got older, you learned that actually your mom and dad were riding the ftrain to bone town, because bone town is where the stork lives, and thats how they got your brother. And in the same way, the system for electing a president is more complex than just oneperson, onevote, because americas Founding Fathers wanted to come up with something that would prevent their biggest fear the people choosing someone terrible. The Electoral College is a sort of gluedtogether solution to a problem that the Constitutional Convention couldnt solve. They said, should the congress elect the president . No, if they do that then that congress will own the presidency. Another option was to have the people select their leader, but at the time, they thought the country was too large and the people not informed enough to make that choice. And one of the odd compromises that they came up with was actually using this set of political elites to do the actual voting for president , but still providing a mechanism to select those electors. They thought by creating this wise group of elites, these electors could filter popular passions. They were afraid of a demagogue being chosen. They mistrusted direct democracy. Alexander hamilton wrote that the goal was to ensure that, the office of president will never fall to the lot of any man who is not in an emminent degree endowed with the requisite qualifications. Trevor thats right. According to Alexander Hamilton the office of the president will never fall to the lot of any man who is not in an imminent degree endowed damn i should make a musical out of this but the point is americans dont vote for the president. Americans vote for a slate of electors who will then go and vote for the president. In many basis, its the same way that American High School kids dont buy the beer. They give the homeless man money, and then he goes to buy the beer on their behalf. That way its more responsible. Its amazing how if you read into it, the Founding Fathers really thought everyone in the country was super dumb. Because everyone talks about they wanted to build a new, perfect society, when really they were basically installing childproofing to keep the country safe and stop peopole from eating sand. Now, this whole idea of electors being smarter than the masses fell by the wayside pretty quickly. And one of their main reasons for doing this was because they thought a lot of americans wouldnt know enough about the candidates to vote for them. But that was hundreds of years ago when information was harder to come by. You only found out news when someone delivered it by horse. But now, we got the internet people. People are super informed. American voters know all about how. Hunter biden moved to russia and sold his laptop to Rudy Giuliani for drugs, and how Hillary Clinton is in a pedophile ring that wants to drink the blood of children, and i know melania has a body double whos having an affair with gary busey . Actually, you know what . Maybe we should go back to the horse. I dont know about this internet thing. But the point is, today its understood that a states electors will vote for the candidate who won their states popular vote. The only problem is thats just an understanding, not an actual law. According to the national archives, there is no constitutional provision or federal law that requires electors to vote according to their results of the popular vote in their state. Those who dont follow the wish, the will of the electorate, theyre called faithless electors. In 2016, four of the 12 electors in washington chose not to vote for Hillary Clinton, despite clinton winning the popular vote in the state. Instead, three voted for colin powell and one voted for the native activist faith spotted eagle. It isnt a new concept. According to fair vote, there have been 167 faithless electors since the Electoral College was founded. 43 changed their vote because the candidate they were supposed to vote for died before the Electoral College could vote. 40 chose to vote for the candidate they wanted rather than matching the popular vote. 17 either didnt vote or cast an abnormal ballot. In the 2004 election, rather than casting their vote for john kerry, the unknown elector cast their vote for kerrys v. P. , john edwards, and also misspelled edwards name as ewards. Trevor wow. So the founders just let legislators do whatever they want. They can choose someone the people didnt vote for. They can vote for a third party. Then can even just vote for a typo i cant believe what a giant flaw in the american electoral system this is. Its like finding out they keep a key to fort knox under the doormat. And just, by the way, i dont know if we should be holding voters accountable for the correct spelling of names, i dont think thats fair. Especially in a country thats got a hundred different ways to spell allison. How do you have four ls in your name, alison. Now, a lot of people do realize that this system is a problem. In fact, states were recently given the power to require electors to follow the will of the people. Unfortunately, very few of them actually do. In the past term, the Supreme Court upheld the right of the states to insist that electors vote for the person who won the popular vote, but heres the deal only 14 of those 50 states actually have that legal requirement. In those 14 states, if a faithless elector goes rogue, the state can throw them out on the street and get someone else in to vote according to the popular vote. But in all the rest of the states, if a faithless elector goes off on their own toot, theres nothing the state can do about it except fine them. Trevor really . Electors can subvert the will of the voters and undermine the basis of democracy, and their punishment is the same as parking in front of a fire hydrant . In fact, parking in front of a hydrant is even worse. You dont just get a fine, you get toed. Charges someone 1,000 for giving the presidency to someone doesnt mean they wont do it. It just means the bidding starts at 1,000. Trump is down so many electors its unlikely he can get enough to vote for him. The bad news is its easy to see how a future election could be close enough that the losing candidates could convince enough electors to make them the winning candidates. And it would be totally legal. So just a warning to all the states out there you guys might want to firm up your laws about faithless legislators, because trump might not succeed this time, but its only a matter of time before don jr. Runs. And god help us all if that chillless bleep ever gets into the white house. So those are the electors and thats how they can change the game. And if you dont know, now you know. Stick around, because when we come back, Jordan Klepper goes to the maga rally in d. C. And kevin hart tells us why hes quitting everything. You dont want to miss it. Hello hello there he go, my baby never answers in the room steps outside, or puts it on snooze he just do whatever he do ou ee ou ou ee ou hello hello hello hello hello hello been there, done that. Twice your cousin. From boston. Karen, im just gonna say what everyone here is thinking. You look smokin. Total smokeshow. And they never did find his finger. They had to close the pool for like an hour. I brought a date. Names sam. Dig in. Love is like boston lager. Rich, complex and its over too soon. Right, chrissy . Oh my god. Whoa . Someone please help of course. Youre tenacious, ill give you that [heavy breathing] product not yet rated. Lexus has been celebrating driveway moments. Heres to one more, the lexus december to remember sales event. Lease the 2021 is 300 for 339 a month for 36 months and well make your first months payment. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Oh. Oh, darn wha let me help. And well make your first months payment. Lift and push and push there. Its up there. Hey joshie. Wrinkles send the wrong message. Help prevent them before they start with downy wrinkleguard. But to someone who wants to bring a little bounce to their house. Hey, google, play this on all my speakers. Its the google whole home funkifier. Introducing nest audio from google. This is an ad for a chip we dont need a logo. Its the threesided crunch. You know, that cheesy, spicy, crispycrunchy, flavor packed bodega snack that rhymes with. I need those. An ad with no logo . Its another level. Trevor welcome back to the the daily social distancing show. Last saturday, washington, d. C. Was the site of the million maga march, which was thousan

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