Show with Trevor Noah Trevor okay. Before we get into the serious news, i wanted to kick things off with an adorable story that will almost definitely be turned into a secondrate Christmas Special next year. Well, it may just be new yorks unofficial new holiday mascot. A small owl found inside the Rockefeller Christmas tree tree. A worker found it tucked away in the branches. Its a small bird called a saw wood owl, the smallest in the northeast, recovering at the ravens beard wildlife center. Its getting lots of love and attention and has its own twitter page. Very nice, and its own little turtleneck, too. Trevor oh my god can we take a second to appreciate how frickin cute this owl is . Baby yoda probably put a hit on him as we speak. Hes so cute, i want one. I want to go get a little owl right now. Aaahhh that was a mistake. Owls are not pets. But, still, what a fun story, an owl hitched a ride to new york city although i guess it looks different if youre an owl. From the owls perspective, we moved his house. One night hes living in the woods, next morning hes paying manhattan rent. Hes used to snacking on field mice but in new york the only thing to hunt are the rats which are ten times the size of that owl. The rat will be saying, just to be clear, whos eating who . I dont like the idea of getting the owl a twitter account. We like him now. Once we start riding the tweets, wow, owl lives matter . Unfollow lets move on to Donald Joe Biden beat my ass trump. None of his legal efforts to undo the election have been working, so now hes trying a different approach. You might remembert that, yesterday, two republican Election Officials in michigan tried to throw out votes from the entire city of detroit, and then they have to be shamed into backing down. Turns out that wasnt the end of the story. Breaking overnight, republican Election Officials in michigan changed their minds again. First they refused to certify the Election Results in wayne county, then agreed to certify them. Now theyre trying to to rescind that decision despite a lack of evidence. Were learning donald trump called both of them following the meeting. Trump campaign has been pressuring bratt rathlingsburger. Anytime trump stionz targets a person publicly they get Death Threats and have to get security. He and his wife have received Death Threats. Arizona democratic secretary katy hobbs says shes faced threats of ongoing escalating violence. This shows reporters outside her house chanting, we are watching you. Trevor thats right, people, donald trump, president of the United States is working to overturn the election. People, can we agree this is not normal, seeing donald trump wort normal, but its happening. Trump is personally, listen to this, trump is personally calling Election Officials and targeting them in public hoping to pressure them into overturning the Election Results, which i dont care who you are, its deeply disturbing because, before now, he was at least pursuing his claims through the courts. Yeah, it wasnt fun, but it was legal. Its the difference between camping on call of duty and smashing the control over your brothers head. One is bat sportsmanship, the other is all the. And theyre not even anonymous Death Threats. Which makes sense because trump would blow his cover right away if you dont overturn the results, youre going to be in big trouble tremendous trouble people tell me all the time, wow, what tremendous trouble hes in mr. President , i know thats you. No, its not its not me its bonald. But this shows theres no winning when it comes to donald trump. If he doesnt like you you get Death Threats. If he does like you he gives you covid. While the president s team is still fighting the election in court, its become clear even that strategy isnt really just about pursuing legal options. The washington posts bob costa reports giulianis team knows the president cant win and instead are trying to make sure the vote is not certified. Quote, their end game, to try to force it to the house. Its a legal game that theyre playing. If they can tie this up in court, if they can create enough dowrkts then they are hoping that the states just wont certify the election, and if the states dont certify these elections, it goes to the house of representatives where donald trump has a very good chance of being named president of the United States, so theres a legal trick theyre trying to pull here, throw enough garbage in everybodys face that maybe these elections dont get certified, maybe he can steal it in the house. Trevor trumps supporters are telling people they dont need to win in court, they just need to create a messy situation where republican legislators will step in and overturn peoples votes. Forgive me but its so astounding me that americas laws can allow this kind of thing to happen. There are all these safeguards, double checks, protections for every single vote, but if a legislature is a Different Party than the winner, they will be, like, no, were going to pick our guy instead. Its like if you set up two authenticationings for you accounts but give it to Vladimir Putin for saf safekeeping. Its extremely unlikely it will work, although a lot of extremely unlikely things have happened recently. If you had told me two years ago that the next wonder woman movie would be going straight to h. B. O. Max, i would have said whats h. B. O. Max . Actually, im still saying that. What is hbo max . Is that the same as h. B. O. Go . Or is that h. B. O. Now, or is it, like, both of them . Do i have it . Am i on it . On the other hand, what might save america from donald trump trying to overthrow the government is that its donald trump trying to overthrow the government because his people are not known for being that great at what they do. I mean, just today, Rudy Giuliani, the president s personal lawyer and something kids fear is in the closet gave a press conference to explain why donald trump actually won the election, all right . Thats what he was doing. He was trying to explain to us why donald trump actually won the election that we all saw him lose, but we couldnt Pay Attention to this Conspiracy Theory because we were all distracted by this many of the absentee ballots were fraudulent and they knew that. And they didnt want to have count of that. 200 of the registered voters in a district vote. What does that mean . In the states that we have indicated in red georgia, pennsylvania, michigan, wisconsin, nevada and arizona we more than double the number of votes needed to overturn the election. All youve got to do to find out if im misleading you at all is to look at the lawsuits. Thats the reason why he probably didnt have to go out and campaign. Trevor okay, i know this could be the end of american democracy, but, guys, this shit is hilarious. I mean, trump always said that he had leakers in his administration but i didnt know it was this bad. What the hell was going on with rudy . Honest question, was his hair dye dripping . Was his brain shitting itself . Honestly i didnt know side burns got periods. You know your legal strategies is ~bleep up when your hair starts crying about it. It was going down both cheeks. He was growing a chin strap beard in realtime. Im not going to lie, part of me feels bad for rudy because this was the Biggest Press conference of his life, his big chance to get donald trump another term as president , and Abraham Lincoln was reading the emancipation proclamation and his beard just walked away . People would have been like, hey, yo, yo, yo, forget about the slaves, man, your chin hair just bounced, b. You got to look at that shit. Maybe this is the per feck combination of evil and ridiculous to end the trump era. I think its perfect. Think about it, if someone said in 2016 that this whole thing would end with Rudy Giuliani openly plotting a coup against the government but no one would take him seriously because he had hair die running down his face the entire time, you would be like, yeah, you know what . This sounds about right. Well take a short break. When we come back, well talk about what changes people are making to thanksgiving this year to save grandmas life. After that, bill gates is joining me on the show. Dont go away. Your cousin. From boston. Theres nothing like a crisp refreshing sam adams boston lager. A perfect balance of malt hops. Sorry. I was gonna buy that sixpack. Ah, ten bucks. That includes mine. Yep, ok. But to someone whos tired of always ordering delivery hey google, play salt fat acid heat on netflix. Its the google dinein motivator. Nest hub from google. The fighting spirit is one we for eduardo perez, it drove him to thrive in his search for a better life. Immigrating from guatemala at 18, he found work as a dishwasher. A line cook, sous chef, and eventually. Fought to the top of one of the most challenging professions in the world. Proving that there is no challenge that can hold back a fighting spirit. Since 1925, weve proved that it doesnt matter where you come from, it matters what youre made of. Modelo. Brewed for those with a fighting spirit. I have my say so. Silver white winters that melt into spring. These are a few of my favorite things. Your shoulder seems to be healing nicely. Im sorry baby. I dont want you to play with that. singing twinkle, twinkle little star. How i wonder what you are. How are you doing . Schedule a video visit with your doctor. Kaiser permanente. Thrive. Ah there he is everything you need, when you need it most. Introducing the toyota venza with standard allwheel drive. Toyota. Lets go places. You make my heart sing wild thing i. Think i. You know what i think . I think you owe us 48. 50. Wild thing. If you ride, you get it. Geico motorcycle. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. The daily social distancing show. Thanksgiving is the day you remember which of your uncles is weird. All right. Its all of them. But with the pandemic here, america is treating thanksgiving a little bit differently, and well find out how different in our special segment thanksgiving in the time of corona. With thanksgiving just a week away, this is the time of year when americans would normally be fighting over whether to get the canned cranberry sauce or the good canned cranberry sauce. But in corona, the big question is whether to have thanksgiving at all. Theres no place like home for the holidays, and that indulgent thanksgiving feast with friends and family, but coast to coast, cases of the coronavirus are on the rise, and travel plans are changing. In a recent survey, 47 of americans say theyre going to cancel. There is growing concern the upcoming thanksgiving holiday could turn into a superspreader event. New yorks mayor bill de blasio announcing the macys thanksgiving parade are will go virtual this year. Experts are calling the hundreds of thousands of College Students traveling across the country for the holidays little ticking time bombs. Trevor oh, yeah perfect holiday week for corona. Young people come home from colleges, Party Indoors at home down and line up with their oldest relatives . Corona would be one more shitty thing kids bring home from college because college kids only brings homes what no one wants piles of dirty laundry, shight tasty beer, a boyfriend who talks too much. Shut up and pass the potatoes i think they shall cancel the parade. Why do i want to watch the virtual spongebob when i can watch the actual spongebob . Why am i tocking to you when i could be watching spongebob . Ha ha, you never win, squid. But with the pandemic, many people dont want to cancel thanksgiving altogether. You dont need to as long as you take simple precautions. If you have no choice but to have dinner indoors, be sure to open the windows. Really let that outdoor air circulate in. It will get nice and cold but you will get a lot of air exchange and it will really create the outdoor environment indoors. Eat at separate tables if dining inside. The safest thanksgiving will be spent virtually apart but together. Vacuum is trying to help out. They will lift the 40 minute time limit so your thanksgiving video calls can go on for as long as you like. Trevor whoa, zoom is allowing unlimited calls . Do they not realize how much they are screwing us over . People that 40 minute time limit was a get out of jail free card yeah you can thank zoom this year when youre on a threehour call with your cousin explaining his foot surgery. You see, trevor, its called a metatarsal, and in the foot there are many bones, the smaller they can break and fracture and connect to the meniscus through the achilles tendon which can be pulled slightly but the doctor said what . We can fix it but a lot of these suggestions are smart, like opening the windows is a great idea, it improves ventilation and social distancing because, you see, once the room is freezing and the food is cold, everyone will get back in their cars and go home. I have an idea, instead of playing your annual touch football game, keach social distance by playing paint ball. Dont tell anyone else youre laying paint ball. If youre the only one with a gun, you automatically win. A smaller guest list means a smaller turkey, and weird as it seems, even that is creating a problem this year. Health officials are urging people to pass on that big traditional large family gathering. And that has led to a weird dilemma. Theres a run on small turkeys. Turkeys 10 to 14 pounds are in high demand with consumers ordering picked over freezer cases with only 20pound birds left behind. That has created a shortage of smaller birds. Since the growth time of a turkey starts in a summer its hard to control their size. Theyre going to grow at the pace theyre going to grow at. You cant say were going to put you on a diet, that just doesnt work. Trevor all right, everybody we get it we discovered the most american problem of all time. Youre worried even your food is too overweight . That farmer is right, you cannot put a turkey on a diet, butt what you can do is tell them their High School Reunion is coming up. They will be eating salad with dressing on the side for a month. How would a turkey diet even work . Listen up this is called a juice cleanse. For a week, you all will be drinking lemon juice with cayenne pepper and, you know what . This seems more normal on instagram. Now that im saying it in real life, its strange gobbling but everybody has to eat the big turkeys because if we dont eat them this year, that means they will only get bigger next year. Then by the next year well be wrestling the turkey about who is going in the oven gobbling and screaming finally, one more way corona is making thanksgiving more difficult than usual. If the whole family isnt gathering at grandmas house this year, that means they cant just make grandma do all the cooking. With more people staying at home for thanksgiving, more americans will be cooking for the first time and they are stressed. Campbells shows two thirds of americans are dreading the possibilities of an epic cooking fail. With more amateur cooks hitting the kitchen this year one firefighter says it could be a recipe for disaster. Its easy to see how they get distracted, walk away from a stove top, from an oven, and the next thing you know is we have a disaster. If culinary arts isnt your calling, then cooking a thanksgiving turkey can be tricky. Thats why whole foods teamed up with progressive insurance to provide their first ever thanksgiving turkey protection plan. If you have a turkey cooking fail, whole foods is offering a 35 gift card as insurance. All customers will need a receipt, a picture of the failed turkey and explanation of what went wrong. Trevor whole foods actually wants a picture of a failed turkey . My only question is, will they accept one of the president of the United States . But for real, though, man, you could not have a better embodiment of the problems facing america than right here. On a day when people gather during a deadly pandemic to binge eat, its the turkey that has a solid insurance plan. This is why i play it safe and microwave my turkey. Its quick, its easy, and you can use all that extra time that you save to deal with the salmonella you contract. Looks like, corona or not, america will find some way to celebrate thanksgiving thanksgiving this year. But please, no matter how you do it, just try and be as safe as you can because this pandemic is no joke, and the most important thing about thanksgiving is making sure that you are around for the next one. All right, when we come back, bill gates will tell me why the internet thinks that hes trying to brainwash all of us. You dont want to miss it. 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