[applause] thank you. Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for joining us for this book talk. Brick by brick, building hope and opportunity for women survivors everywhere, by karen sherman. What a powerful title, right . Each word of the title has power within its own self, and i think that you will see that illuminated today during the conversation that karen will have with barbara. Im marjorie san, im manager director at ascend at the as spend institute and its my pleasure to step in for my boss, ann mosley, the executive director of asend and also a Vice President at the as spend institute. U fortunately she had family emergency today and is nose able to make it but she was heavily involved in the planning. It was her honor to host the book talk because she has known karen as a very close friend for many, many years and if you know ann, you know that personal and professional relationships and commitments are really important to her. So only an emergency would have kept her from opening this up. So, again, thank you for being here, and im not going to spend a lot of time because on introductions bus you have the buy yous in front of bios in front of you and its important to get into the conversation but im honored to be able to introduce as well because ive northwestern karens are, no for a number of years, have deep respect for her and excited to hear the conversation also. So ascend is a policy program at the as spend institute. We work to make certain that families are able to move up the economic ladder and achieve economic mobility. Our approach to doing this work is called the twogeneration, or a whole family approach, and it very much is about making certain that the families opportunityies their goals and needs are addressed first and for most and lifted up both in policy and program. So, ascend has bin around for ten years, we have a Leadership Program and we also have a network of nonprofit organizations and associations across the country. About 380 of them that are taking a whole family approach to moving families up the economic ladder. We also make certain that we work intentionally with policy programs and policymakers at the state and federal level to make certain that structural barriers are addressed, and we also make certain that we take a Racial Equity and a gender lens to our work. In drive something of the work, really is a gender lens, and that, again, is a thread through ascends work and also through the work that ann has done over her career, and so having friends like karen in the work she has done and the passion that karen has had, really have flourished in their relationship over many years. And one of the things that ann is doing now is coconvening the aspen forum on women and girls which is relevant to this conversation. That is a program and initiative that ann leads with peggy clark, who is the executive director as well as a Vice President at the Aspen Institute but she runs the program called the aspen global innovator group, on strong policy program at the Aspen Institute. Want to introduce Barbara Cline who is going to be leading the conversation with karen and there will be time for question and answer. But what we would like to do is make certain that youre fully aware that we are honored to have barbara as our conversationist for today, and make certain that you know that she is a really talented dish dont know if you have any books yourself, barbara, but she has an amazing career, not only being an actor but being a newscaster for a long time, globally and here in washington, dc, so were really honored to have you, barbara, and thank you. And then karen, thank you for being here. Im looking forward to the conversation and ill just turn it over to you, barbara. Oh, thank you. So great to be here, real honor to talk to karen about her book, and as some of you possibly know probably know, karens background has taken her all over the world work with women in crisis, really, to help and work with them, from the former soviet union, afghanistan, boss in the ya bosnia, all very courageous, commendable and my view a little crazy, but then we get to this book, which is just going to give the broad outline and see if its okay with you, and that is that she decides to go to rwanda for a year for work, with her three sons, leave her husband in bethesda, and that she decides to do this for work, also to work personally on her soul, her psyche, and her work on what she reveals in the book is trouble in her marriage, and she is brutally honest about all three of these aspects in this book, and so i guarantee when you read it, you will find there are times when youre not going to be able to breathe. Whether its stories of descriptions of women that youre working with, that you have melt, or descriptions of your own life. So is that fair . That summary the not what the book is about. Yes, it, i, first of all, thank you for being here and for this, and also thank you to marjorie for the warm introduction. Really appreciate; and such a huge fan of the Ascend Program and the wonderful work youre doing. So kudos to you all. So, yeah, i really felt that its a story that i have wanted to tell, even before i went to rwanda with the three kids. But this idea of bag person who straddled the developed and the developing world for most of my professional career. Im in bethesda, maryland and then in afghanistan and bethesda and congo and looking at the way that women live and are forced to live in a lot of these societies and then contrasting that with the lives we have here, and it isnt just a privilege question but just how women lack voice and choice in so many country contexts around the world, and frankly not just in the developing world but in the developed world, too. And so to be able to tell those stories alongside my own, i think it was an honor to be able to do that. Okay. So, why did you write it all down . What why did you want to share all of this . Right. Publicly. Well, i had spent ten years working with a group called women for Women International that work wisdom women surveyors of war and conflict and postconflict zones, hot spots, afghanistan, south sudan, congo, rua dan, nye yeara, kosovo and boss knee use and it struck me that bosnia and part of my job was to take couple womens stories and i have notebooks full of them as you can imagine, over ten years with took done to story towards the purpose of writing Success Stories and part of your monitoring and evaluation, how you do your work, and then these stories, you live with them. They stay with you. And i had all of these stories but then there was my story, story that i hadnt told, and it really felt disengine rouse to right other womens stories and not put mine alongside on the page. Tell us about your story personally that you felt you had to work through as youre working with women in crisis. Yes. So, i grew up in portland, oregon, and it was a pretty typical childhood but my father was very abusive and he was abusive to my mother and the children, and i really its interesting, greg up i really i identified with my father versus my mother, and i carried that with me for a long time, and i really couldnt understand my mothers relationship in the family, where her missing voice was, why she would stay in a marriage that was abusive, and it really wasnt until i was in rwanda i actually started to connect the dots between how i grew up and my mother, and our family, and how so many women around the world live, including in rwanda, and its a story i had heard over and over again but hadnt personalized it. Okay, so, two questions here. First of all, i do want to know about how did you connect the dots . What was the connection . But also one of the things that is striking in this book is how honest you are. You say, yes, father was abusive. Well, you get into it here. He hit you. Yes. Yeah. So, tell us how that affected you and how you realized again, its in the book, but how you then get to who you became as an adult. Right. I think we all have stories from childhood and the stories that we live with, and for me, the way i dealt with this growing up was this idea of being above reproach. We im just going to be super competent and going to be this kind of super woman, going to good out there and going to get the straight as and get the great job, im going to have the three kids and do im going to do everything right. But there is no such thing as being above reproach and the catalyst for my move to rwanda was i had applied for the ceo position at women for women and didnt get it, and i was devastated but i was in some ways a naturally devastated. I was realizing that this kind of i dont want to say its a house of cards but the story i told myself about everything and how it was working, the things i needed to do to be this person, it started to unravel a bit. And everything i had done to kind of pump myself up with the family and kids and all of that became quite vulnerable and quite raw, and rwanda helped me kind of unpack all of that. How . How . I think it was really getting a little bit more perspective. It was sitting down and talking to a number of women survivors of war. Again issue had taken down their stories but it was a job. This was about me looking at those stories in a different way. It was me really internalizing the stories. Not just for work but, like, woman to woman. About how these women often rebuilt their lives literally a brick at a time, and you know, one thing i was doing and rwanda, hence the title of the book, is we were build thing first of its kind womens Opportunity Center there and these women, the women brickmakers, had handmade each and every one of the 500,000 bricks used to construct the womens Opportunity Center. Think of it. 500,000 bricks. And so the title was really a metaphor for how women rebuild their lives a brick at a time, and for me, while i was in rwanda i was deconstructing it, up building it so i could build it up again. Tell us the story of you have stories of women, individuals here, who you met. Debra, for example. How does her story how did you connect the dots between your life and hers. Debra is one of the really most challenging stories in the book. Debra had lost her husband and all six of her children in the genocide, including not to be so graphic but including having the baby that she was carrying on her back lift up and had their neck cut, and she watched all of her children die, and her husband die in the water, and she lay floating on the water, just until the killing stopped essentially, and she ran around for two weeks with basically just the clothes she hads on her back and she was in hiding with no food, no water. She went back to her family, her neighborhood, there was nothing left. She went for the women to women program. She actually got trained admitting. And she got knitting machine sent to her by a relative who was living in europe and she started making knitted sweaters and things like that. She was making a living and then she have a retail shop and she was making thousands of dollars. She was just talking about how she built her business and she got a bank load and a house and went into partnership with some other people. Basically how she had rebuilt her life a brick at a time. In her case the bricks were sweaters. If she could do that anybody could do that. If you think you cant survive anything and then you are still able to live and smile and dance and find a bit of joy in life is the ultimate sense of perspective i would say. There is a huge leap there. To being trained. She wanted to live i cant tell you what it is inside of her that kept her going but what i can say is having spent ten years working with women everywhere in multiple countries there is something inside women women in particular and no disrespect a lot of it has to do with the basic instincts for survival. Many other women had to do with keeping their families going and keeping something going and they felt this deep sense of responsibility. There was a woman in boston and there is a story about her where she was living sidebyside with the friendly neighbors. They basically turned vigilante. Her husband was taken away and forced into hard labor. Raped and tortured repeatedly. Then the man said to her we should kill her. And then another one said we shouldnt kill her. She will kill herself. She have a new baby boy and she basically said i needed to live for him. Less we think these stories are all about crisis im sticking to it. Some of these women are in crises. The civil war in bosnia. It is every day for many of the women whose stories you tell in this book and i am thinking number one about marriage i cant remember her name. They were parceled out. Because of having to do with how much value he thought she brought to the family. This was an everyday story. Were not talking about a political crisis or a war. Its interesting this question of food. The idea that these husbands were basically parceling out food depending on the perceived force. That was one of the women that she said. This control of food comes up multiple times. If you think about a place like south susie and also. Where women are valued need animals they are having all of it. Its just how women are perceived in so many cultures. I dont want one just about africa or other countries. Ive seen this level of marginalization in other places also. It is less noticeable. When we were growing up it is in a lot of peoples home. How many stories are we hearing about the meat to movement and the stories that women are sitting inside themselves every single day. Everybody has a story. If its just the one we tell ourselves to get through the day. I think that is true for a lot of people. I think its true for a lot of women. Theyre just not able to share the stories. This statistic just kills me. One in 16 women in the United States experience rape as their first sexual encounter. That is an astounding statistic. Lest we think it is south south sydneys women. Its all of us. It also struck me how important the rule of law is. One in 16 in this country. At least we know its wrong and it is in our laws. Not that he gets played out. Often it doesnt. In other countries where the culture doesnt recognize it necessarily you would be surprised how many country have laws on the books you would be surprised. It is an enforcement issue. It is a reporting issue. And in money in many countries they dont talk about it. Women dont have a place to go. And a lot of it has to do with their dont have their own income to be able to make different choices and so i say in the book having to say and choosing to stay are two entirely different things. My mother couldnt stay in when i was growing up you ask how i have dealt with this. I never want to feel like im this person who has to stay. If i choose to say thats up to me. See make that something youve taken to your work. Tell us the conclusion that you had reached. The way you have synthesized all of these stories many different parts of the world and many different cultures and what conclusion you came to as the two basic things. What i have seen in every country context including here in the United States is the two things that give women voice and choices on education and the ability to earn an income. And actually education without income is insufficient to change the status quo. I have seen that play out everywhere. Of education may give you a voice but does not give you choice. I think women need to have their own income to have that ability not just to leave but to make different choices and this might be choices of how much is spent. Choices if you are suffering from violence or abuse in the family. So, with your work in rwanda, conga south suzanne, and nigeria how did you see it possible to start giving or helping girls or women get those two things going in their lives. I think its interesting women for women it was all about job skills and training. Im looking at different Market Opportunities for women to be able to earn an income. As simple as selling bananas a bit of income a lot of these women they might buy a bunch of bananas. To show that there were some value to the training. Some of the women who have started these very tiny micro businesses years ago had like 25 employees. They were doing regional trades. They have partners in uganda and kenya. You would be surprised how little it takes to make a difference. That is the brick by brick. And now im working with the group. Economic opportunity for young women. It is the first and only Womens College in wanda. It is linked to some of the Fastest Growing sectors. All about giving women and education in the ability to earn an income. 86 percent of those graduates are in the workforce earning on average 11 times the National Medium median income. There is three sectors in that country that you focus on. Its not like a college like email here. What are the three. Information systems or it. In Small Business management. I think that thinking was on the private sector and worked backwards. They have a relevance in relevance in the marketplace. We started with the demand. By the way these are not the elite of society 70 of them are the first in the family to go to college. This is a life changing education for these young women. I can tell you having talked to some of their mothers. They gave up everything so their daughters could have a College Education. Tell a sister tells the story if you would about vanessa it is just an amazing story. I met a woman by the name of grace in wanda rwanda. This was one of the most Amazing Stories ive heard of. She is a young woman who is ten years old she is walking with her family. They are leaving and they are leaving rwanda. She had been seen the killing all around her. She walks past the field. And the woman motions over to her. Dont go over there. We are leaving. We are getting out of here. And she walks over and picks up the baby. The grandmother basically says leave the baby it will be dangerous for us. Shes ten years old. She picks up the baby and puts the baby on her back and continues walking to congo to the refugees cant that choice as a 10yearold girl. She is raising this baby as her own and the babys name is vanessa and she finally tells vanessa the truth when vanessa is 13 years old and says i am your mother but im your sister and your auntie. If you can understand that we can live together for a very long time. I actually just saw vanessa and grace. Another story i want to make sure to get in. It also illustrates the obstacles that women confront and that is when these women are working the land tell us about i