Transcripts For CSPAN2 Vivek Murthy Together 20240713 : vima

CSPAN2 Vivek Murthy Together July 13, 2024

Business. So on to the main event from 2013 to 2017 to he has been busy from joe biden on colon 18 what citizens could do. Im so sorry this is meant to be interpreted but it is breaking up because youre speaking so quickly. Please start over. As the 19th Surgeon General of the United States and is the author of tonights book and uncovered 19 doctor murphy and with michelle obama. And with those interpreted services and with the signing. Thank you so much. This is a joy way to be here someone that i admire so greatly especially to talk about this book one of the most important books i have read in a long time and totally under chant on change my understanding partially meaningful so im thrilled to be here today. Thank you for indulging me this way. [laughter] you are the Surgeon General of the United States of america. You written a memoir or tell all or leadership book but instead you wrote a book about loneliness arguing it is a serious problem here and around the world. Why did you decide to write this book and what makes it a serious problem . And then to share this book with the world with your friend whom i deeply admire if anybody writes a tell all and use those to share anyways. But i will see that i did have some ideas may be there would be a new view of Public Health with infrastructure and my time in Office Learning about governmen government. So sometimes you can have the best laid plans and thats what happened to me. In 2017 i wrote this article for Harvard Business review with loneliness in the workplace i was not sure how business readers would be that what i found in the days and weeks following the publication i was getting so many messages from around the world from those that said we think this is a real problem in our country all over the United States and india japan and south korea and latin america. But other different types of messages from individuals that say ive been struggling with loneliness for a long time i didnt realize it was so common and i dont need to be ashamed. That was striking. Long story short it became clear to the advice of good friends and confidants not only worth writing about that the more i talked about it the more it was important to me as a child and as a doctor that led me to focus on this topic in the early stages of the book when i traveled as Surgeon General i met people in small towns and big cities and they heard stories that were not surprising about struggles with addiction and Substance Abuse disorders and parents watching their children overdose and parents worried about depression and anxiety rising among kids and other children from the generation but what i started to see what is a deeper threat of loneliness. It wasnt someone saying my name is jack i am struggling with loneliness but i feel we have to deal with all of these problems and i do it all on my own and nobody would notice or say i feel invisible. Time after time hearing that is started to register for me there is something bigger going on it reminded me of my experiences and hospital to see how many patients would come in so if we have an important diagnosis or a decision about treatment i would ask them who can i call because these are tough issues to deal with by yourself and so often i get the answer there is nobody to call. Even at the last stages of life in the final days and hours i was privileged to sit with people and be with them in their final moments, it was me and my colleagues in the hospital and nobody else. I was reminded of those experiences traveling the country and then i realized loneliness is more common in consequential was a determining impact on our health and i had realized. It seems that you see loneliness in many different populations you typically think of the elderly by people all ages and backgrounds. Absolutely. People traveled abroad talking to people in other countries most people have a notion the elderly struggle with loneliness and we believe that because as we get older we are more limited and cannot go out because of illness or disability or the expanse of losing family and friends and not able to connect as well. All of that is true but i found out loneliness was affecting people across with the spike of young people and folks who think of themselves as the millennial generation also it seems to be a great equalizer whether rich or poor and urban areas or rural areas with fishing villages in alaska or members of congress in washington dc tell me in hushed tones they were struggling with loneliness and feared many colleagues were. Rich and poor everybody seems to have an experience to share thats what made me realize Something Different is going on. So the issues that both can agree on but i found interestingly enough that it and talking about the subject of loneliness and social connection i would say there is no topic including the Opioid Epidemic that i touched on that seem to strike a chord as deeply. Interesting in terms of the effects that i was struck in your book how the physical Health Effects because it is equivalent to a certain number of cigarettes but it was shocking. This was surprising to me as well. I learned through the accommodations that loneliness is more than a bad feeling and it turns out there is major consequences impacting how they work in the workplace and to have serious contribution to the polarization of politics and the difficulty that there is a Strong Association between loneliness and dementia and depression and anxiety those that struggle with loneliness so now given everything we are learning about the importance of sleep for Overall Health to realize sleep is important that perhaps is the most striking what you reference is a study done from Brigham Young university that shows and with that longevity. And that is similar and then to be greater and then to see this as someone who served as Surgeon General in an office with obesity and physical activity seeming to focus on social connection we never fully appreciate how powerful. That is extraordinary and sobering. Very quickly when you say loneliness what do you mean . You distinguish between loneliness and solitude is there something more to it than that . Its a great question loneliness is a subjective term if we feel about the quality of connection and then to say loneliness is a gap between the social connection we feel we need and the ones that we have some a couple of things is that and then i say that not just as a theoretical point from personal experience that so i never talk to my family about loneliness with my mother and father and sister from my youngest memories away always felt secure. But that sense of belonging walking into school and that stinking pit in my stomach i was scared about those moments on the playground in a worried about being the last one and most of all into the cafeteria. And i just get away until 3 00 p. M. When the bell rang to go back to that environment where it was secure. So i know from firsthand experience that a shame that comes with loneliness and then to admit what is happening because everyone else around us is hiding but i bring this up there is an important reason to understand it is an actual signal suggest to experience hunger and thirst when we lack social connection that has led us to with a similar signal. And then to seek out meaningful connection by calling a parent or a dear friend that it could subside benefit persist for a long period of time and then into those Health Consequences we are talking about a very interesting thing happened that we love these patterns and what we sense is happening that we feel that we are in a state of threat and danger and we are lonely when we were hunter gatherers and if we were together and trusted relationships and then to take turns to watch out for predators one became separated from the tribe the chance of survival drops and then to perceive separation and loneliness and the experience with threat level so that makes sense in that evolutionary context. And then to be chronically lonely. With those developments were around you. And ngc to make it harder and then you combine that with the fact chronic loneliness shifts away at selfesteem and then that makes it even in a paradoxical sense. And then you can go further and further into your shell is one of the reasons and then to be so persistent how to approach that correctly. That is just heartbreaking that loneliness leads to deeper loneliness and deeper loneliness. So stepping back for a minute what are the historical trends to the rise of loneliness. With the role of social media and possibly to alleviate loneliness. And then that broader societal trend. And then you hear that topic and say i will tell you talking about the subject over the last few years and with that office of loneliness. With that power of connection not only our body and mines but the society in which we live that made me realize at our fingertips the ability to build that world and that can support children and the ways that we hope. And i will talk more about that but its important to recognize to discover that deeper resource but where does this come from . It doesnt just happen when the internet started but for generations we hadnt written about it for the longest times in which are several factors more than ever and the other challenge is the cultural challenge one of the most insidious and difficult so even though to go out on a Street Corner what is the number one priority in life . Their kids or spouse even though i would say that and so judged by where we put our time and attention and energy for many of us and the case for me to focus on those people or on other priorities. Because we dont value human relationships but success is defined in a particular way not just to build positive relationships and nurture over time with power and reputation so then to be called successful and then to have people all around me and then say i really made it. And the power and principle of my school and really made it but the thing is when you talk to people who have achieved and that the pursuit of that goal contrasted after they achieved it that moment of exhilaration that they wish they had to that culture that leads us to prioritize and define success from human relationships is one that leads us to focus on things that separate us to be prioritized. Technology is the single most common question and parents in particular is asserting my child are making much of are lonely and these are important questions to ask is that technology itself is how do we use it and to use that to strengthen to live far away from a relative but thats can be with that social experience. And by connecting with people offline. And coming to Miami Florida and then im coming to miami or any of my friends free to hang out . Thats a great way to stay connected with friends. There are many people like you around. And if you dont have a Community Online platforms can be powerful to connect with others so all of that can be helpful that what i worry predominantly we are using technology in a way that further disconnects with the use of technology that time that we stand on social media and devices takes away from the time we would spend was somebody in person so there is that distraction with only 24 hours a day. And with that in person interaction so how many of us have lunch or dinner at a restaurant and found each of us are checking our phones in between are checking for alerts . And with those experiences of talking to friends on the phone and then just to through the social media feed and i need to do that i just fall into it but science tells us very clearly we cannot multitask if we do we are actually task switching very rapidly this is why i think its important for us to ask that quantity with the quality of time so all this to say that it can be used to strengthen that connection however using tech isnt serving us as well particularly thinking about young people and what they encounter was social media that accelerated culture to be propagated on social media and comparing feeling that we come up short. This is a recipe for chipping away further at selfworth. Opening up to the audience question. And then in a beautiful progress the story of so many people engaging in solutions in america and around the world and individuals and cities and states to hear the solutions and in the middle of a pandemic in this struck me weird and not just to feel better but also to feel normal together we just feel not very normal so what is that solution and pre pandemic right now . This is one of the most inspiring parts and to have that incredible meeting and with those around the world who have struggled with loneliness but not only knows extraordinary ways to connect with people and that risk with initiative and to creativity that we are not consigned to be lonely and that doesnt have to be our destiny to find ways to build connection as well. And with those principles that came up that i think of as the bedrock for living one has to do with time if we are spending some time each day at least 15 minutes a day connecting with someone we love that can be an extraordinary foundation and time spent on videoconference or to hear their voice to say im thinking about you and how you are doing it may not seem like a long time but what i have learned and with our connection that we dont need to quit our jobs and spend all of our time we dont need to necessarily turn our lives upside down at the moment and then to feel much more deeply connected the second thing that i learned the quality of time really matters in the way they improve the quality of time is limiting distraction. One of the greatest gifts we can give someone else is a gift of the full attention and overhauled we are so trying to solve the task is easy to forget can have a profound healing effect on other people. And for those that have been fully present listening actively to what you are saying to have this amazing feeling of being seen to feel like its an incredibly intimate experience so by eliminating distraction and her full attention to be open and sharing and in that moment we can deepen the quality of the interaction and five minutes of high quality interaction and the third thing and this is a bit of a surprise is the service it turns out and with that biology and evolution how it has is paradoxical effect and chipping away at selfesteem because it shifts the attention to someone else and with that positive interaction and reaffirms that value in a very tangible way and also with her own sense of self to reaffirm who we really are. There is an Important Note about the importance of solitude. And you may be alone but it is pleasant state and one where we lessen noise and then connect with ourselves not could be five minutes with the wind against your face for those minutes you spend remembering but at the beginning of the day meditation or prayer. And then to be anchor ourselves and with that conversation to enjoy those conversations with those Core Principles that i admire its not always easy to do especially given the state of the world and how you are struggling with covid19 to physically distance from each other. Its more important to build on these principles. May be physically distant but not socially distant. Now we have the opportunity to choose as we distance from each other or the choice of the opposite direction and then to reaffirm the importance of connection and recommit and to prioritize those relationships and actually act on it by reaching out to people and a chance to serve in those having a hard time homeschooling the kids into the small opportunities shifting the perspective now we can only defend the connection to set ourselves up to be connected and more fulfilled and less alone than we were pre pandemic. What a beautiful sentiment. And with that social recession it seems like what you are urging and then asking people about socially and then in that relationship and friendships that social economy doesnt go into recession and economic economy. We can think of this as an opportunity for social revival doesnt mean more parties in Large Group Gatherings maybe thats one way that whether an introvert or extrovert we all need social connections in our lives and that social revival is where we prioritize people in our life one simple credo coming out of the book is people first and i realize in my own life and at the heart of building a people centered life. And then to first find out and finding out we are pregnant with her first child and the kind of world it will embody. With the violence and communities of the polarization and the struggles we have with Climate Change to healthcare and on and on. And also concerned how separated people seem to be to each other and wonder what kind of world they are getting on are bringing our child into an think how we could create a better world for our children. And then to tip the scales toward love. So we saw there is a deep struggle the world is watching between these two powerful forces. And with that generosity and compassion and kindness. And as anxiety and anger and with those in the politics. And those of the motivation and though whole reason that we worked on this book over the last two years is because and to tip the world and to create the world to heal by compassion by the very forces and then to that change only happen and then how to live out of love and i fear. Now we will go to audience questions. Does data show have a wider variety of friends old or younger black or white is that better than just friends like you . That one thing that we are seeing in increasingly if you have diversity that can open your mind up to people who may think differently from you in other respects so in Traditional Society for those who thought like you people werent traveling between countries like they are now and Diverse Communities in the United States in particular but in 2020 its much harder to avoid diversity with other racial and ethnic and religious background so to recognize this diversity to go in one of two directions embrace with a desire to understand and reflect that are closer to people that think like us and the problem is because we will always be interacting with people from the way the world

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