Think nowadays one of them being things have taken us down a bit. Its too easy to number one begin on social media, its too easy to be critical or to be harsh or to be all the things we know happens. Its made us less caring and less involved, we are removed from because we can hide behind it. I think which are also seeing is an example, and certainly what is happening in the country, of great frustration and theres no excuses for being civilly disobedient or being uncivil in any way, shape, or form. Unfortunately, were seeing kind of a culmination of things covid on top of that and you have society quite frankly that is struggling. These things are result of what truly going on right now, in my opinion. I sometimes worry these things of the greatest threat to us. Your Mccain Institute laster announced the hashtag Accessibility Initiative in honor of your late husband. What are some examples use of such acts of seville in public life today . One thing for sure is that code, even though this is thisa tragic element of whats going on right now, covid has also brought brought out the best of us in many places and that to me has been i think we have to take a step back because it has slowed everything that we could go out. But its a result that people are being kind to people, people going to maybe the neighbors elderly, offering to go shopping for them. The kinds of small acts of civility you see in daily life in many cases now. I will revert to the Congress Just for ass minute. I know our congress has not exhibited this, and im ashamed of that in some ways because i was a party and did observe that just my husband but other members of congress to the earlier years be several, disagree, had to have, allowed this agreement sometimes but always remain friends. Always went out to dinner or whatever else. After the day was done. Thats the kinds of things we need to get back to you right now. Thats why this conference is so important. Its sota important. I read and heard that congressman to longer can break bread with each other if they are from theth other party. Howd you get over that . How to get into advanced civility, at least being able to dine together . Well, you dodi it. The fact that they have decided that they will not join together for a Group Meeting or have lunch together, which is what they used to do, or other things, its ridiculous. Our congress is in many ways some of the biggest culprits in this because we look to them for examples. These are the people we elect, who represent us, to be good stewards of civility and otherty things. And yet we are not seeing any of that. We should expect more from our leaders. We have the right to spend more from our leaders, and they need to hear from us either through the ballot box or through an email or whatever else, they need to hear from us saying just that. Enough of this, lets get back to work, lets Work Together for the good of the country and not for the good of the party. As long as nike doesnt mind i think you have another slogan, just do it. I mean really. My wife is a first grade teacher, she teaches her kids how to act. We seem to have people in the public life no longer thinking they have to act in the same the corum than they did in the classroom when they were kids. Right. Im sure many people, if not all people in theau audience today, have had the experience of press run into some who is angry at whatever, a supermarket or a restaurant or something. I mean, it happens very commonly now. What we need to remind people is unless we as people begin to act civilly and be good examples for our younger children, were going to lose a generation of people to a harsh reality that shouldnt be what they should experience. We should all be working together on this, and it starts at the top. It starts at the very top. What public figures today do you think our best mirroring the behaviors of your late husband . The idea of putting the common good at it partisan advantage perhaps. I think mitt romney is one. He has been crucified for not joining certain elements of the party, just like what you described. He wanted to Work Together with other senators, et cetera. And its actually criticized for it. Its those kindend of things, i said, we should expect more from our leaders. We should demand it. When you look at that though the whole political process seems to punish people likee mit romney for your late husband. Finally said look, im tired of this, i want us to get back where i can always go publicly get a tshirt that tries piece of the roof . Yes. Well, certainly that is absolutely true and we have got to do it. We have to make that, take that first step. Some of the things were doing out here in arizona that we put together, it washe put togethero the Human Trafficking team added that it exemplifies way more than just Human Trafficking. And that is teaching about Elementary School basic respect as was mentioned earlier. Teaching little boys to expect little girls and little girls to respect little boys. I get frustrated when i hear music that is uncivil about women especially. It angers me when i see people physically disrespecting people in public. We are way over the top on this. We are way over the cliff on this. We have to rein back in and to think it starts with all of us. We could take one step at a either educating a child or working with your neighbor or something and having maybe a difficult discussion, but then understanding that you dont have to agree on everything and okay, be nice together as rest of this. We dont hate anymore. One of the questions we got from her audience is how do you teach these values to our kids . My generation hasnt been pattering Good Behavior for them. Mine either. People not Wearing Masks and all with thef covid crisis is n ultimate sense of you dont get to tell you what to do. But if youre going to live in a community you have to be willing to told what to do so we can all live together. How do we get over that narrative to get our kids, like you y say, learn just to be nice is nice . Right. One of the things is when things like that occur and you see the mass, or whatever it may be, whatever incident it is, is that you remind your own children, your own family that this is not only wrong, but its unseemly as americans. As americans we arewr better thn this. S. We are thehe deacon around the world still. Yet we seem to forget that by being a beacon we have to maintain that. We have to be people that embraces differences and embrace dignity and respect, and embrace empathy. Those are things that are sorely missing right now in any discussion rainy behavior that we see across the board, in my opinion. You brought up earlier theres a lot of anger out there, a lot of debate. How do we try to reconcile the need to address the concerns of social justice and civility while still being able to protest . Right. First of all weli sit down and e now fully begin to discuss but we talk about our differences, and will respect our differences more importantly. Those can be very Difficult Conversations to have. There are some hard lines out there, but none of those hard lines, as long as people are not being injured or property being damaged, all those hardline opinions and thoughts, we still need to respect. Because people, they exhibit frustration on both sides of the aisle, a lot of it is so political right now. We as americans and we as representatives of our Community Need to understand that being different, or differences, hes good. Its who we are as americans. And taking from your own personal experience and that of your late husbands, can you share some examples of how do you come home yourself and your husband were able to establish those bonds and maintain civility and to ask of civility . Well, i was always very proud of my has been. There was one incident that i just, just not taken aback. I was so astounded and so respectful and i loved him. That moment made me respect him even more than they had throughout the years. It took place at a town hall that was in new hampshire, and it was during the 2008 race. What happened was a woman stood up, john was taking questionsn i kids, a woman stood up to proceed to launch on candidate obama saying hes a muslim, history, i dont like this. John took the microphone from her and said no, we can disagree on this but hes a good man. But we have here is a difference of opinion in how the country should be run. He should not be disrespected anyway. It was that moment, he would replay that clip 100 times run the country, but it was at that moment that a realize that not only was john representing what civility is all about, he was teaching people across the country to maintain and respect the same thing. And it certainly change me having seen it in action. Well talk a lot to and to acty see it happen in public was amazing. I remember that moment. That clip that gets played, as a say goes viral. All senator mccain was doing was adequate john candy said 40 years beforeha that, 50 years. Both republicans and democrats want to do whats good for america, we can debate exactly. How do we get that genie of discontent back in the bottle for civility . Tried to talk and find out [inaudible] i know there is no magic formula. The work of what youre doing frankly people feel ashamed when act like this. In my opinion, there are two elements to this. Number one, it starts at the top. Our leader should exhibit only the best behavior on any of these platforms are however, speeches, whatever it may be. Wewe should demand we work acros the aisle. Again, that takes going to the ballot box so voting is very important all of this. Secondly, we should reward Good Behavior. And by that i mean thats what im trying to do with accessibility, is highlighting people who are doing good things and are exhibiting i have had so many things sent to me, it is a conversations that were occurring at thanksgiving last year, destroying furniture but this year they are trying to come within a family come back together and remember to respect each other in the process. My husband and i, our dinner table which we used to joke abouted was riotous on occasion. We loved the discussions. We would throw questions out to her children and say okay, what do you think . Of course they would go around the table, and opinions were very sharp because we represent all angles on this at our dinner table. But the point of that was for us to remind them and to teach them to be respectful. You can disagree but you may not be disrespectful and you may not use any kind of harsh language or anything like that. It was a good lesson for them. We have to take our community is back and take what occurs in our communities back, and that stt at the top of the community as well. Part of that discussion like around the dining room table is to have different views. But in many ways with kind of bubbled ourselves. We can watch just the media we want to watch. We can live in the neighborhoods we want to live in. How do we break ourselves out of our silos and get those conversations for regularly with people we disagree with . Are used to be a lot of venues to do that, clubs, churches. Itll soon be as robust as the used to be. My suggestion would be just exactly what i have done for myself is, is reach out and talk to people who differ from me. I actually like the discussion because i always learn from them at a dont always agree but bui learn and i respect the differences that we have. I think it simply starts one person went on at a time and we grow from there. One at a time. I encourage to axis is is thate kind of thing and offer the opportunity for people. With great discussions at the institute. We have seminars and things that are very diverse and can be very divisive on many things, and our number one rule is you may come in here disagree but there will be no shouting, there will be no disrespect anybody with regard to the issues. Part me, my clock is chiming in the background. Imng sorry. Its 11 00 here so give it a second. I apologize. In the age of zoom weve all had our dog and phone moments. Exactly, i know. We are done now. I think about that and, in terms of getting out of the bubble and all, the late reverend George Walker smith who began our broadcast, who begin our conference, for decades he would meet leaders of all lyrical persuasions, of all socioeconomic stripes, come together and equally good catfish and then have discussion. Thats pretty much now his generation, his passing has petered out and its hard to find the time to have an active conversation. How do we get folks to spend time with each other if they are o hobbled up . And its difficult finer because of covid because we have to be separated and but we can do it on elements like to and others. Once again you have to start one at a time, and i encourage people to maybe just have one conversation. Do it by phone with somebody perhaps you disagree with or perhaps somebody you were mad at me ford and begin a new conversation and begin a new time. I telll parents, you have time n the car with your kids come you set time to teach respect for empathy or dignity, or the kid who has been bolded reach to them and know that he has friends or she has friends, and theres no differences. We are friends and we want to respect you and we want to be with you. The childrens issues bother me the most because i see it, you see it exhibited in everything. You see it just in some of the behaviors that middle school kids especially exhibit towards adults which is unacceptable, in mymy opinion. Middle school is problematic on its own. But when my generation went through it we did not social media to worry about and reducing travel whole a culture that promulgates a subculture of it in social media being mean. My daughter settled only need to know about life is to watch mean girls. Havent done it yet. That seems like basic stuff for people not to be mean, but future outreach to look out for high school and try to provide the resources to get away from all that anger. Right. Thats exactly what at the industry were working on. During covid it is made it difficult for those are our goals because i began this through the eye of Human Trafficking in which is a tremendously disrespectful thing that is done to people, young people especially. I felt like we could expand on that, and not just teach kids through the elements i talk about with respect in the classroom but also provide material that would be helpful in all of this. We want to supplement schools and help them have the tools to be able to do this. As i said before unless we we can raine, this in, and thats what i believe, we have to rein it in, this is very dangerous point this is something that i see young adults Going Forward could be very difficult especially within our government. Considering the degree of division we all seem to have out there, worse for our very republic is based on mutual respect. Everybody atn some point wins, like the Oprah Winfrey school. Right. How do we, moving forward, looking maybe at 2021, 2022 how 2022 how do we as a nation tried to recover from a really dark period of incivility weve been going through four years . That is once again, thats a very difficult question tot answer. We began at the beginning, it sounds very basic and probably something people say easier said, but its the truth we begin at the beginning. So i think that with the help of the schools, with help of parents, with help of our community leaders, community have to decide yes, we will no longer tolerate this, and yes, we are going to help our community sealed and to better in this, within this. I think thats an Educational Opportunity particularly say what the schools do to help. How can come into leaders, institutions, organizations embrace accessibility and bring into the nation, reaching out parting with schools . Right. Certainly we at the Mccain Institute can be very helpful with that. I know thats not what we m are here but the institute can be very helpful in helping schools, again with the tools our dimension and some of the materials that i mentioned. And just walk through the discussion, walkthrough. We are trying to highlight government leaders, private citizens, et cetera. Those with done a really good job within accessibility, and so someone who perhaps very difficult issue whatever it may be, active the correct way. Worked across the aisle whatever it may be. We are looking for those people. We are looking for i call them heroes because they decided theyre they are not going to upset the norm right now which is not being civil and not being dignified nor treating people as you would treat others. The golden rule place here in aa very large way, in my opinion. We shouldve should have goe other rule, do unto others first. No kidding, yes. One of things also i observed the figures with my husband, if i can mention, is his ability to work with World Leaders that were opposite side, could not be more difficult. But he enabled them and enabled the two country to sit down and talk, at least talk. Many times it didnt agree on anything but the discussion was out there. They had a civil discussion and they had civil behavior. The world isvi a difficult plac, but youve got to talk. You have to be inclusive in that. John was really a good lead on that issue. On a global level when nations cant talk and things break down, you get wars. Right, right. Things break down you get civil wars. Right. Get people to understand this is all fun and games until you lose an eye or democracy. Exactly. I believe in the great strength of america and i believe that theres a lot of pendulums that occurred in the past. I believe this is going to swing back to a Civil Society that we had. But until you have experience, and i would never encourage people do this but ive had opportunity tove experience a society that is not civil and did not have civil discussions, instead with it is they thats what this degenerates into. Im not saying thats going to happen within the United States but it does happen in other countries and we are a world partner. These things all have implications and they a all hav, you know, words matter, and words coming out of our leadership in this country and other leadership around the world, just as you said, someone pushing a button. Understood and respected west fertility of democracy. Fragility of democracy. Your husbands understanding of how you need to protect norms and values and institutions and not so lightly dispense of for shortterm gain. John had a v