while the world watches the gulf oil disaster unfold, some of those that were there at the beginning are haunted by what they saw, they've been sharing their stories with cnn's anderson cooper. >> i just remember looking back at the rig and, you know, just knowing that there's 11 of our guys -- at that time i didn't know there was 11. but i knew there was -- there was going to be some that didn't -- didn't make it. and the four hours we had to sit there while the rig was burning, i mean, i looked at it a little bit, you know, i watched, and there was times i had to just, you know, go sit somewhere, and i couldn't watch it knowing that we had left those 11 guys on that -- on that rig.