i always feel like someone is going to shoot me. yeah, it scars you. >> for vern gosney, it could be walking down the street. >> i could see a man with light skin and black hair from behind and in my mind i thought jim jones was alive. >> the airport shooting left gosney in a hospital for months. >> i was shot through the stomach. i was shot through the liver. my diaphragm was torn. my stomach had a -- was torn. had a collapsed lung. my spleen ended up -- having to remove my spleen. >> at first he turned to painkillers. >> i was on anti-depressants. i was on tranquilizers. i was on sedatives. >> then worst. >> and i started drinking and i started using elicit drugs, as well. >> he had gone back to work in a san francisco law office. >> when i look back on it now i