adrenaline. >> a perfect example, after the last funeral today, it was the last one, i appreciate the fact that we have a contemplative garden. i sat down and cried like a baby. i couldn't stop. i thought the procession was waiting for any. i couldn't stop. it just came out. i haven't held it in me nonstop. this was the last funeral. and every time i do one, particularly, for me, because i'm a cantor, when i chant the memorial prayer, it takes a piece of my soul away. and i have no more left to give. my tank is empty. >> reporter: and so what do you say to your congregants who say, why, how does this happen, how does god let this happen? >> i don't believe god lets this stuff happen. humans have a choice. and this person made this choice. to me, god is the one that i turn to when i have the