i sat down and cried like a baby. i couldn't stop. it just came out. i haven't held it in me, but this is the last funeral, and every time i do one, for me, because i'm also a cantor, when i chant the memorial prayer, it takes a piece of my soul away. and i have no more left to give. my tank is empty. >> reporter: and so what do you say to your congregants who say, why, how does this happen, how does god let this happen? >> i don't believe god lets this stuff happen. humans have a choice. and this person chose, made this choice. to me, god is the one i turn to when i have no strength, to say, god, give me strength to get through this. and that's what i do, every moment of every day, give me strength. somehow god does. >> reporter: and all of the people who have lined up here,