Of parents across the country will children sadly of parents across the country will children not sadly of parents across the country will children not goingadly of parents across the country wilableiildren not goingadly of parents across the country wilable tolren not goingadly of parents across the country wilable tolren to ot goingadly of parents across the country wi will; tolren to ot goingadly of parents across the country wi will; tolren into goingadly or will be moved into portacabins or alternative accommodation because of the risk crumbling risk that this kind of crumbling concrete is going to pose. All feels last it all feels very last minute. Calling minute. And what were calling on the government to do is to pubush publish a full list of all of the schools affected so that parents can be confident about where the problems are. And if theyre where the problems are. And if thewill a vote in we will force a vote in Parliament Week make it happen. The home office has recorded the highest daily number of small boat crossings in the channel 872 channel so far this year, 872 migrants made the journey yesterday on 15 dinghies. At least another two small boats were bringing least another two small boats were number bringing least another two small boats were number peopleiging the total number of people entering illegally entering the country illegally past is past 21,000 this year. That is still significant, than still significant, lower than this time last year, though, when had the when 25,000 people had made the journey are to be journey. Tesco staff are to be offered bodycams after a significant violent significant rise in Violent Attacks executive attacks. Chief executive ken murphy forced to murphy says hes been forced to increase security measures after physical assaults rose by a third since last year. Writing in the mail on sunday, hes called for tougher laws to make abuse or violence towards retail workers a criminal offence resulting in longer sentences. Resulting in longer sentences. In spain, torrential rain and storms have caused major flooding across parts of the country. Weather warnings are in country. Weather warnings are in place in the madrid, cardiff and toledo regions, with residents in the capital being to told stay at home. In tarragona in the north east of the country, 215l m2 of rain has fallen in the last 24 hours. One person has died as a result of heavy rain at the burning man festival in the United States. Tens of thousands of people have been stranded at the event in nevada after the bad weather turned the ground into a mudbath. Roads in and out of the festival have been closed, with revellers asked to conserve food and water. This is gb news. Now it isfime water. This is gb news. Now it is time for headliners as. Hello and welcome to headliners. Im josh howie and joining me to dredge through mondays newspapers for the best stories are two opposites from the comedy circuit. The comedy circuit. Knowledgeable, insightful and sane. Steve and alan and Lewis Schaffer. Schaffer. Fair point. Fair point. Well, see what did the how are you guys doing . What did there with the facial expression . 7 oh, no. oh, no. It was very it was very good. It was very it was very good. It was very it was very good. I knew you were to going say that. Did you. Okay. Sorry. That did you. Okay. Sorry. Is that because are you both doing . Before . How are you both doing . Youre both looking very smart. Well make an effort. You know, i know, youre wearing a tie. I thought step thought wed better step. Were all going tied up. Were all going tied up. Thats i dont think thats about how british call it. Looking how the british call it. Looking smart. Okay its smart. Means looking intelligent. Yeah exactly. Thats what we. Thats all it takes in this country as a tie is wear a tie in america. Youre is wear a tie in america. Youre like genius, right . Is wear a tie in america. Youre like gwearing ght . Same tie then im wearing the same tie then mark was before. Mark dolan was wearing before. But its but its not his tie. Its a different okay well, okay, then. The straight away right. The straight away right. Okay. We are going to zip through the front pages. First of all, the times hundreds of schools still in dark over safety fears. The Daily Mail Councils allow staff to work from the beach. The Guardian School crisis. No extra cash for repairs, says treasury the mirror. My promise to workers. Mirror. My promise to workers. Financial times. Russias banks propped up by chinese cash after sanctions and the star trick or heat. Those are your front pages. Lets have a closer look. Lets have a closer look. First of all, we are going to go with the times. With the times. Steve front page of the times tells us, i mean, well, theres the headline, migrant crossings approach 900 a day. I dont know if that page linked it, if that page is linked to it, but probably if that page is linked to it, but this probably if that page is linked to it, but this from probably if that page is linked to it, but this from on probably if that page is linked to it, but this from on his probably if that page is linked to it, but this from on his own. Ably if that page is linked to it, but this from on his own. But did this from on his own. But hes hundreds did this from on his own. But he schools hundreds did this from on his own. But he schools still hundreds did this from on his own. But he schools still in hundreds did this from on his own. But he schools still in dark hundreds did this from on his own. But he schools still in dark over dreds of schools still in dark over safety fears. This is about the safety fears. This is about the crumbling , this bubbly concrete. Crumbling, this bubbly concrete. I was reading somewhere onune i was reading somewhere online today saying that some of it can be up to 70 higher. Thats not bubbly concrete. Thats not bubbly concrete. Slightly concrete air thats slightly concrete air at stage. At that stage. Its a worry. And its a worry. And its a worry. You dont know if your school might the something might have the risk of something just collapsing. Its reached its end of its lifespan. Yesterday were lifespan. Yesterday we were chatting who knew what when. So i bothered to research it today. So in the 60s they was using and 60s. Today. So in the 60s they was usi|in and 60s. Today. So in the 60s they was usi|in the and 60s. Today. So in the 60s they was usi|in the epeople. Today. So in the 60s they was usi|in the {people had in the 60s, people had concerns whether should in the 60s, people had corused; whether should in the 60s, people had corused in whether should in the 60s, people had corused in the whether should in the 60s, people had corused in the 1980s. Ar should in the 60s, people had corused in the 1980s. Theyhould in the 60s, people had corused in the 1980s. They firstd be used in the 1980s. They first found out that there were some structural issues, same thing happened early happened in the 90s early 2000. They report into it where they did a report into it where they actually along and they actually went along and analysed heres analysed it went, yep, heres your problems. 2019 your structural problems. 2019 a school or School Collapse in gravesend or a bit of it does to 2021. They sent around these questionnaires to schools to say what lets have a look to find out if youve got thing needs youve got this thing that needs sorting out. Days before youve got this thing that needs sort schools days before youve got this thing that needs sort schools meant 3efore youve got this thing that needs sort schools meant to ore youve got this thing that needs sort schools meant to open, the schools were meant to open, something you something happened. So you definitely could have done something earlier. All of those opportunities. Opportunities. We thank you very much, steve, for that History Lesson we thank you very much, st we thank you very much, st we thank you very much, st we thank you very much, st i mean, josh , i mean, this is i mean, josh, i mean, this is this is the weirdest show. I feel like its sunday. I feel like what . Know, feels like what . You know, this feels like what . You know, this feels like a sunday. It feels like a sunday to me. Anyway, the point is, are you blaming, steve . Is, who are you blaming, steve . Who are you blaming that they that they this announcement that they made this announcement three school. So three days before the school. So the government made the announcement. But where was announcement. But where was somebody demanding that an somebody else demanding that an announcement be made three years ago when the School Collapsed or 20 years ago when they first realised the governments job to do that . Soon this as soon as they this questionnaire sent questionnaire that they sent around, pull your finger out, get sooner around, pull your finger out, get thinking sooner around, pull your finger out, get thinking, sooner around, pull your finger out, get thinking , oh sooner around, pull your finger out, get thinking , oh well, sooner around, pull your finger out, get thinking , oh well, all1er around, pull your finger out, get thinking , oh well, all of a than thinking, oh well, all of a sudden the schools are about to be of them be open. Lets shut some of them down and down until we go along and reinforce this reinforced sort of claim. This is reinforce this no, this is reinforce this is democracy. Me and an open democracy. Me and an open society. And when you have an society. And when you have an open society , you expect open society, you expect Political Parties and organisations to make a stink about stuff before the day. You basically blaming the opposition for not doing not holding the tories to account, not the tories to account, not the tories for just not tories to account, not the tories forjust not doing their tories for just not doing their job, for not not holding the job, for not for not holding the government not state government, not the state to account for this. Yes. I mean theyre holding them to account now. Commons opening tomorrow commons is opening and labour going have and labour are going to have a field surely and labour are going to have a field where surely and labour are going to have a field where this . Ly and labour are going to have a field where this . These but where was this . These buildings have been around for 100 this method. 100 years using this method. Yeah. No, since the 60s in this country. It was from the country. But it was from the they in the 1920s and they started in the 1920s and sweet. A Little Research sweet. I did a Little Research too, in the 1920s, both of you caring about jobs in sweden caring about your jobs in sweden , in sweden and i knew that autoclaving means a man who was heatis autoclaving means a man who was heat is good for this whole Building System really good Building System is really good for. And because for the environment. And because concrete is of the biggest concrete is one of the biggest producers , from what i producers of co2, from what i know, believe the know, not that i believe the co2 causes climate change, but lot causes climate change, but a lot of. Sorry, i dont of people. Sorry, i dont believe you believe im surprised you believe im surprised you believe exists. You know believe in co2 exists. You know what . Ive never it. What . Ive never seen it. Theres no direct evidence. Theres no direct evidence. You dont have a lived experience , do you, with c02 . Experience, do you, with c02 . I well, no, ive been told its the one gas you can detect i its what youre talking about. Yeah literally what youre saying right now is co2. Right now is co2. You know, i guess i detect an absence of oxygen. I dont know. Thing. You dont. Thats the thing. You dont. The detect an the human body doesnt detect an absence know what absence of oxygen. You know what the what . The people you know what . Out there weve got people out there hate they hate your hate you, steve. They hate your intelligence. They hate your wise guy attitude. They like me wise guy attitude. They like me because im man of the people. Yes, i come a better yes, i come from a better country. Country than them. Weve slightly knocked weve been slightly knocked off at the off target, straight at the first with the first story. Lets go with the guardian. Come on, lewis. Keep us. Us on target. Its same story well, its the same story that house of. Theres that the house of. Theres no extra repairs, say the extra cash for repairs, say the treasury. You know, its treasury. Because you know, its like. Its like what they say about about spending money, you know, 1 billion here. 1 billion there. After a while, youre talking about real money. Theres so much things that are collapsing. The whole country is collapsing. The whole country is collapsing. Nothing personal. Its still a fantastic country, but they dont have the money to make the repairs for these schools. Well, schools. So its like, well, whats going to happen . Well, it is. Well, it is. Its the its not i mean, its the its not its misnomer here. Its a slight misnomer here. Theyre money theyre taking the money from budgets that have already allocated. Yeah its not steve right. Yeah its not the and the the repairs and the reinforcement. So if a school identifies that its got this, you then have to not use it for a few days while someone goes in and it. Its knocking and reinforces it. Its knocking the down even the can down the road even further. The cost will further. So the cost will continue up. The continue to build up. But the problem i think the problem i think is about the fact its a great way to fact that its a great way to build. Yeah build. You said, right . Yeah its a cheap build. Its a cheap way to build. And by it cheap, the short by doing it cheap, the short term a building term ism, lets have a building that for years. Lets that lasts for 30 years. Lets have doesnt have a building that doesnt last show last as long as the tv show eastenders. Yeah. And then of eastenders. Yeah. And then of course have course youre going have problems further down the road and what doing and thats what were doing now. The money is going to. Yeah, it might be extra new money. So might not be extra new money. So it elsewhere in it comes from elsewhere in the budget. Everything budget. That means everything suffers because couldnt suffers because we couldnt build. Build properly. A cases actually a lot of cases its actually cheaper have built a new cheaper to just have built a new building place. But building in the first place. But for the issue the for me, the issue is that the budget the emergency budget for the emergency measures say theyre saying that has to be taken from the schools budgets themselves. Thats a problem because if the school doesnt the budget, its doesnt have the budget, its back calls and back to the zoom calls and whatever. And thats where i have a massive issue. If any child one hour in the child loses one hour in the flesh. Flesh. But theyre going to theyre to going and i think theres two theres two stories behind the stories , which is one, its just stories, which is one, its just one more excuse for the state to build because the building is the most is the biggest industry of this world. Having the Chinese People build all those apartment houses , its just an apartment houses, its just an excuse tearing down excuse for like tearing down these schools building some these schools and building some more. So its going its more. So its going to make its going hopefully going to make the hopefully these ten years these ones the last ten years happy. Right. Happy. Right, right. They mirror whats what are they going steve my promise to going with steve my promise to workers this is keir starmer so for previously on this show everyones saying keir starmer is anything. Is not saying anything. Not putting his colours hes not putting his colours anywhere. And anywhere near a mast. And finally, of finally, weve got a bit of a promise and the hilarious thing about this is hes just sounding like the conservative party would normally and sound. I would normally try and sound. I wont tax wont be raising your income tax. Im the guy of low tax. I wont be hammering you like that other party, the tories. What a flipped upside down world we seem in where his seem to be living in where his promises about the promises are all about the economy. Because ordinarily thats the area theyre weak. If you want to attack labour, you bnng you want to attack labour, you bring record about bring up some track record about economy. Conservatives have economy. The conservatives have managed to a situation managed to create a situation where keir starmer can look like the guy whos going to be good with money. With the money. And but i mean, yeah, i mean, and but i mean, its incredible its an incredible transformation though. I mean, louis, people louis, a few years ago, people just assuming that he was just going to interim going to be this interim opposition leader, now opposition leader, but now the fact that hes turned things around and detoxified around so quickly and detoxified the kind the labour party, its kind of amazing, though. Hanging out well, hes been hanging out with blair and i think what with tony blair and i think what this is, is this guy starmer, these guys have been out of power for so long they want power for so long and they want to win. Its very similar to when blair came into power when tony blair came into power and anything. He they and hell say anything. He they want so badly that want to win so badly that theyre willing to stop being theyre willing to stop being the labour party. And thats the same thats what thats what killed the tories. The tories. Killed the tories. The tories. This is think. Im not this is what i think. Im not sure about that. Right. But i think tories, stop think the tories, they stop being lately and. No, no, being tories lately and. No, no, i mean, arguably for 13 years theyve still managed to mess up theyve still managed to mess up the country by. Well, can the country by. Well, you can mess the country from the mess up the country from the left right. Thats left and from the right. Thats very these are very true. So these people are maybe people be more maybe these people will be more tory the tories. And all we tory than the tories. And all we can hope is that they mess up the country less. Thats what were for. Going thats what were for. Going were different way. Were in a different way. Were in a different way. Spread it around bit. Ill spread it around a bit. Ill tell the worst thing tell you what the worst thing the when tell you what the worst thing the were when tell you what the worst thing the were opposition. Nhen tell you what the worst thing the were opposition. They they were in opposition. They never this concrete never mentioned this concrete stuff because apparently you blame this. Blame the opposition fo