Urge the preparation of defence is not to insert the imminence of war on the contrary, if war was imminent, preparations for defence would be too late. I believe we must do more to defend our country, our interests and our values. So today im announcing the biggest strengthening of our national defence. For a generation. We defence. For a generation. We will increase defence spending to a new baseline of 2. 5 of gdp by 2030. Well, it comes as rishi sunak warned that president putin will not stop at the polish border if his assault on ukraine is allowed to continue. Earlier, britain pledged its largest ever package of aid for kyiv worth £500 million during the warsaw trip. The Prime Minister has been holding talks with the leaders of poland, germany and nato , warning that the defence nato, warning that the defence of ukraine is essential to our joint security. Ukraines president zelenskyy welcomed the package , which includes package, which includes long range missiles, armoured vehicles and boats. Well, on the vehicles and boats. Well, on the day that five channel migrants died off the french coast, including a four year old child, gb news can reveal that more than 250 others have crossed to the uk by a small boat, got into difficulties off wimereux beach near boulogne, before 2 am. A number of other migrants were rescued, with at least one now critically ill, in hospital. Critically ill, in hospital. Five other small boats have now been received by border force and dover lifeboat, with migrants transported for processing. A further two boats were seen heading towards uk waters earlier. Police were waters earlier. Police were faced with violence at a Saint Georges day event in whitehall this afternoon when a group tried to force its way through a cordon. Mounted officers on horses needed to intervene when the group broke through a police barrier. The force earlier said barrier. The force earlier said that it expected some, quote , that it expected some, quote, far right groups and groups unked far right groups and groups linked to football clubs to attend the event. Police say six people were arrested. For the people were arrested. For the latest stories, sign up to gb news alerts by scanning the qr code on your screen or go to news. Com. Au alerts now. As always, our headliners. Always, our headliners. Hello and welcome to headliners and a very happy Saint Georges day. He was turkish, by the way. He was turkish, by the way. He was turkish, by the way. Thats my last night on gb news. This is your first look at wednesdays newspapers. Im simon evans joining me tonight, two top comedians. Firebreather Scott Capurro and merciless dragon slayer steve n allen. Are you. Are you presenting that as a cross. 7 yes, yes. A cross. 7 yes, yes. Like what are you noticing . What do you notice is different about me tonight . What do you notice, i dont know. Youve a little bit younger. Botox. If you say no, im parting my hair on the opposite side. Oh, i hadnt hair on the opposite side. Oh, i hadnt noticed. You guys dont really see me. Really see me. Do apologise. This would have been a very impressive tactic with the dragon, wouldnt it . Yeah, certainly. The dragon stops because. What . And then thats when you have at it. We are absolute. We are in a new era of slayers. I look, could you say that everyone. Everyone always says. Oh, he was turkish. Yeah. It was. Dragons arent real. Thats the biggest problem. Dragons arent real. There was no such country as turkey back then either, you know. Let alone. And anyway, he wasnt. I dont think its a very if pronouns. Yeah. Theres a very theres a number of accounts on twitter that got into it on detail. But its become the its become more well known than the fact now hasnt it. Its become its kind of inverted like a zombie lie that goes on regardless of how many times you disprove it. Anyway, as long as they dont touch my full english daily mail, kick us off with the headunes daily mail, kick us off with the headlines with the front pages. Biggest boost for defence in a generation. The telegraph war footing as pm ramps up defence spending. There is the Prime Minister lying on his lawn. Guardian Prime Minister to raise defence spending and put arms industry on a war footing, the times uk to spend more on defence. Theyve all gone with this one. The i news tories unveil uks biggest hike military spending for a generation. The daily star finally they have gone off peace. Kim jong uns favourite imperialist launches war on slugs. Those we are from pages. Slugs. Those we are from pages. So, steve, as heraclitus said in one of his famous fragments, war is father of all things and king of all things. He renders some gods , others men. He makes some gods, others men. He makes some slaves, others free. Well, the cleansing fire of war is upon us all. Seems that way. And do you know who to thank . The daily mail. And do you know who to thank . The daily mail. Okay. Victory the daily mail. Okay. Victory for Mail Campaign is how they go with it. Its a victory for them because they a while ago said you know what . You should spend more on war. And now rishi is doing they go, well, clearly its just because of the daily mail. Theres no other factor that might have led to this becoming a political outcome. But the headline biggest boost for defence in a generation, they the 75 billion is going to be the new spending. It says a boost to combat russia iran and china threat. Lets not forget nonh china threat. Lets not forget north korea because these are the crank nations. It is catching on. Crank is coming. Crank is coming. This will be my legacy. So this will be my legacy. So the defence spending is going up 2. 5 up to crinkle somehow. Maybe libya or something. Maybe libya or something. We can invite a few more. Yeah i want to nail on the end. Get some there for libya. Would they ever do to you okay laughs maybe then so 2. 5 of the gdp target which seems about the right numbers. Yeah. The few things in this that feels like what we should be spending. How much again 2. 5. Be spending. How much again 2. 5. 5 of that is supposed to be the minimum nato contribution, isnt it . So thats why within. Yeah, its about right. Yeah. Also, i keep moaning about trump and the trump effect of having america trying to, you know, dangle the not spending any money on ukraine, which is going to impact us. So its good that were spending this. Russias already got its economy on a war setting. Yeah we dont want to have to do the same. We dont want a situation where our factories get commandeered to make war things, because we dont have factories. And that dont have factories. And that would be very difficult. Wed have to call up china and say, could you make some weapons that we can attack creek nation . And they wouldnt like that. And im a bit keynesian when it comes to my economics. So the idea of spending on defence. Absolutely. Thats all fine. Lets stimulate demand among the armed services. However, the question is where do you spend it . Isnt it . Because, i mean, we know, for instance, that every few years we discuss whether trident is the best use of all those tens of billions, but also just generally i was watching a netflix drama called the three body problem recently in which a naval commander is asked to speak off the record about his new battleship , and he about his new battleship, and he says its a ridiculous, Old Fashioned piece of technology , fashioned piece of technology, ridiculously exposed and vulnerable to any number of much cheaper offensive systems. And if he had the money, hed spend it all on drones. These are if he had the money, hed spend it all on drones. These are the it all on drones. These are the kind of questions, arent they, that, what do you think , scott . That, what do you think, scott . Do you have a view on this . Oh, im still surprised that they used, defence spending as a ploy they used, defence spending as a ploy to get people to vote for them because an election is right around the corner. We all know. Yeah. And thats what margaret thatcher, the daily mail media. Thats what this is about. I know its them, but thats what this is about. I think hes just hes trying to get people to listen to him, and hes trying to seem strong. And everyone thinks hes weak and hes on his way out. So hes trying to kind of improve his geriatric, gentlemen, i would agree with that. He does seem weak. He seems physically weak. And hes been obviously palpably weak with the with the sort of dribbling invasion thats been going on over the channel for the last three years. But at the same time, you have to this is a serious issue. And i think hes not alone in feeling that the world is cooling or warming up, depending on which metaphor. Yeah, the cold war is definitely on now. On how. On now. I like that, keir starmer says that a labour will conduct a Strategic Defence and security review in the first year in the government in the first year a review. Watch cnn, its all, yeah, were in trouble. Who is there, who is shadow defence secretary . I should know that. Its, john healey. Oh. Its, john healey. Oh. John healey. Yeah. Okay. Named after the roller skates or the poet. Okay, well, moving on the poet. Okay, well, moving on to the express. Scott, what have you got in there . Oh, right. You got in there . Oh, right. The express, its really good. Its a story about. Its about time. Do Civil Service job cuts to pay for the defence boost. Rishi sunak said we dont have to borrow any money or take out any loans. Were going to cut 70,000 Civil Servant jobs. Thats how were going to make this happen. This happen. Thats good. I thoroughly approve of that a lot, isnt it . 70,000 gone like that. Really . Yeah, absolutely. Theyll find yeah, absolutely. Theyll find other work. Theyll find work in consultancy of some sort. Really all those women maybe on the lecture circuit, all those. All those ex housewives that are the ones working in the family up in, newcastle up there. You know, their husbands havent worked for decades because of the mines. Do you think its a little bit like that big . Its going to be like, i think its northern 44 all over again. Civil Service Communities hollowed out. Theyre going to cut northern jobs. All they wanted was their sons to follow them into the office. No. Isnt that a peter cook and dudley moore sketch, actually isnt it . Yeah, yeah. The inverted version of a poet. Yeah i mean, i do i have a particular prejudice against the Civil Service. The whole of parkinsons law is predicated on his observation of the way that jobs just proliferate in the Civil Service, regardless of how much work there is for them to do. It just happens. It depends how theres cuttings done, though, because this is only a few weeks after we covered a news story here that i would be used to replace people. Yes. Now, if theres one thing we know governments in this country cant do is anything to do with it. If they try an it project, it costs us about 11 billion and fails. Yeah. So bringing in al , which yeah. So bringing in al, which would be the trickiest use of it would be the trickiest use of it would i . I mean, i have a half brother who sent me his, pop psychedelia album that he created in a single day on al, and its fantastic. It sounds exactly like quicksilver messenger service, but if you want your Civil Service, sure that if they can do that in a day, im absolutely sure country will be saved. But seriously, i mean, you know, chat bots, thats what 80 of the Civil Service is anyway, isnt it . Chat bots . Chat bots . Chat bots . Chat bots, just chat chat bots. Bots. All they do is slow you down before you get put through to an actual person. Yeah, they never actual person. Yeah, they never resolve anything. They just go, oh, what do you want . They dont understand. A few times and then they say, oh, lets put you through to someone. Do you ever . I was talking to one today on an online service, which was actually terrific. And i was very happy. But i better not say the name, but i do always try and ask it a couple of questions to see if i can make sure its a person. Do you do that . No ratherjust go, this do that . No rather just go, this is my problem. This is what i bought and i regret or something. I wonder if we could use ai i wonder if we could use al to replace the cabinet. Yeah yeah, that would be a start. Absolutely. Absolutely. An ideal one. Yeah. An ideal one. Yeah. This was what Dominic Cummings wanted brexit to happen so that we could introduce. And its been that would be great because it was the big tech conference thing. Rishi sunak said. Dont worry, i wont replace your jobs. And if his job is the first one to go, yeah, sweet. And then we wouldnt need a cabinet either, would we . And we could sell that off as a hotel like dermot oleary, mirror. Steve, what do they got . Theyre going with jill dando again. Yeah. Jill dando exclusive. Because no other newspapers are really looking at this story from 1999. Key witness says that man she spotted running minutes after the stars murder is a serbian assassin. This person serbian assassin. This person saw the picture that they ran yesterday or the day before. And said, its him. Im good with faces, even though its from 1999, she says, im bad with names. Good because olmec. Names. Good because olmec. Olmec. Its a difficult name to be good with, isnt it . Yeah, but , i mean, be good with, isnt it . Yeah, but, i mean, they are be good with, isnt it . Yeah, but , i mean, they are really but, i mean, they are really going in on this story when no one else. Because hes hot. Thats why she remembers him. She says that she remembers him. She says that she says, well, i was gonna say if you didnt, if you couldnt speak english, if you were, for instance, serbian, you looked at that front page, youd assume that front page, youd assume that was announcing an engagement. Yeah, they quite well matched. Theres a little bit i think the lesson here is if youre going to kill people, dont be attractive. Yeah. Dont you get away with it. Well, he didnt get away with it. Hes in jail now. I want to know who called the hit in. Thats the point. Im sorry to speak of it. So sort of flippantly, but 25 years. Is that clear . Why did they kill her . For what purpose . Well, yeah, according to the crime wave or what was it, crime watch, crime watch, crime wave, which is very much part of a crime wave. Thats why they killed her. No modern tv people are into that. Shes very popular on that show. And its a very popular show. And its a very popular show itself. And then she was just going home, wasnt. Shes just going home, wasnt. Shes just her little workout gear. Yeah, shed been to a shop and she was walking into her home like shes up going, but you have to wonder, like, who did she know . How dangerous was she . Well, the mirror, which is really obsessed with this, gives us a hint and says its revenge for a strike on serbian tv studio. 16 people were killed, or 15 people, and they. Sometime before 3 pm. On the day of the killing, there was a message tell your Prime Minister. In belgrade, 15 people were killed, 14 more to go. And so, she was mistaken for tony blair. Is that what youre suggesting . Was this during the, conflict in in former yugoslavia . Yeah blair. When blair had, had initiated that. But why is shoos her out of everybody. Thats such a strange. Yeah. Yeah, i guess shes shes available. Well, perhaps thats part three of the mirrors expose. Well see tomorrow. Finally the daily star, scott. And, youve got about 30s to race through the slug war. Yes. Apparently, King Kim Jong uns favourite imperialist launched his war on slugs. Uns favourite imperialist launched his war on slugs. Alan launched his war on slugs. Alan titchmarsh, who i guess is not a fan of north korea , the article fan of north korea, the article implies, also is not a fan of slugs. They are never going to be his friends, he says. Never. And, king charles agrees that him to him, slugs are a quote , him to him, slugs are a quote, pain in the bum. Put them there. Put them there. He he names specifically hostas. And i know that is a fact. We had hostas and you cant the slugs just go through them. But the Wildlife Trust wants people to appreciate slugs for what they are. Adorable stories like that. Recently, theres been love seagulls enjoy wasps, Chris Packham says. Enjoy killer hornets. Theyre called killer. Im not a fan. Im not a fan. I prefer killer hornets. The slugs dont sort them on your lawn. Thats the only thing. Lawn. Thats the only thing. Sorting slugs is quite good fun, but it does kill the grass very quickly. Are they good for you . Are they good for you . What . Eating them . No you dont have to sort them in order to prepare them for frying. No, to prepare them for frying. No, just a little barbecue. Youre having a little party . I dont know , delicious, right . I dont know, delicious, right . Thats the front pages coming up. Abuse and disrespect at the cenotaph and news from whitehall on Saint Georges, day. Two separate stories. See you there. Separate stories. See you there. Well and welcome back to headliners with me, simon evans, still joined by steve van allen and Scott Capurro. So scott, two tier policing or just good Old Fashioned dust up with the filth. This is the daily mail live from whitehall, apparently there is some, chaos in whitehall today during the Saint Georges day rally. Do we have any footage of it . It only any footage of it . It only lasted for about less than 30s. Really . Orgy bargy, i would call it, rather than chaos, i think. So whatever that means, its a charming term. And i think they were trying to push past the zone. They were meant to keep the. And it hadnt even started before 3 00, before the whole rally thing started. And they just, i think, wanted to cause a bit of trouble , like have a bit bit of trouble, like have a bit of a rough and tumble fun is what it looks like. But i dont know, they, they did seem to be i mean, i couldnt see all, but they looked like they were being kettled in a fair bit. The police really took a swing at some of them. Yeah, i think theyve been frustrated because theyve been frustrated because they havent been able to, you know, flex their muscle in the last few months with the protests going on. Well, this is the thing that everyones going to draw, comparisons with, isnt it . And isuppose comparisons with, isnt it . And i suppose those comparisons will not really sort of survive or hold up, perhap