she's right. the responsibility in a couple is that you don't tell these -- you don't say these things. know that they're true but you keep them to yourself because that is love. we'll be right back. >> okay dr. ruth. >> what do you do? >> lie. >> now you're in trouble. >> no, no no. because there's nothing good that comes out of -- does this make me look heavy? >> what can you say but positive to adrian? >> no my wife is gorgeous, she's beautiful. she looks great in everything. when she says should i change this you don't say yes. >> oh, i do. living dana's truth. >> change it or leave it on -- >> maybe it's different -- i think it's different for men and women, especially different after you've been married 18 years. if you walk in wearing shoes that look like clown shoes and they're yellow instead of brown, you say i wouldn't wear those. we bought these shoes in canada and they looked different in the window. anyway they're in the good will