The president paid his respects this morning at 6 32 a. M. , he tweeted this photograph along with the message we will never forget 9 11. Then ten minutes later he tweeted the Federal Reserve should get our Interest Rates down to zero or less. So i guess he forgot is what happened. And who thinks like that . Whose mind operates in such an oblivious way. Although i guess its better than this infamous tweet, i would like to extend my best wishes, even the haters and losers on this special day. So hes growing up. Trump spoke at a memorial at the pentagon today, where once again he claimed he went to ground zero after the attacks to pitch in. I guess were suppose the to believe he went down there to heche help and didnt tell anybody. Hes just a quiet man who likes to lend a hand. He also had tough talk for terrorists today. If for any reason they come back to our country, we will go wherever they are and use power the likes of which the United States has never used before, and im not even talking about nuclear power. Jimmy well, what kind of power are you talk beiing talki . Girl power . What does that mean . [cheers and applause] maybe hes planning to spray tan them to death. I dont know. And by the way, those terrorists hes warning not to come back, i wonder if theyre the ones he invited for smores at camp david. This tells you all you need to know about this president. Moments before he headed out to participate in a moment of silence for the victims today he lashed out at a poll that has him trailing his democratic opponents. He wrote, if it werent for the neverending fake news about me and with all i have done, more than any other president in the first two and a half years i would be leading the partners of the lamestream media by 20 points, sorry, but true. Hes upset because theres a New Washington post abc news poll that says he is trailing not one but five Democratic Candidates led by joe biden who leads him in a matchup by 16 points. As we know, these polls are never wrong. 16 points is a big gap. Even putin is like, sorry, comrade, i cant help but that one. Trump says these polls are out to get him. He claimed that same poll had him down 15 points to hillary clinton. They him down by four four four the margin of error is now our president of the United States. So tomorrow night [ applause ] we will see the top ten Democratic Candidates for president will square off in houston. Because its a live event, abc and the dnc have issued a warning to the candidates, asking them not to use fourletter words. Acious abc news said we will not be broadcasting on any delay, so there will be no opportunity to edit out foul language. What if bernies sciatica is acting up, what if somebody asks beto if he likes queens of the stone age. Under those circumstance how are they supposed to not curse . The president invited reporters to join him in the oval office where he announced plans to put a stop to a newlyidentified menace. We have a problem in our country. Its a new problem. A problem nobody really thought about too much a few years ago, and its called vaping. Especially vaping as it pertains to innocent children. And theyre coming home, and theyre saying, mom, i want to vape. [ laughter ] jimmy is that how theyre doing it . At least the kids are up front about it. You know, donald trump has never had a conversation with a child. Apparently, melania is behind this initiative. She saw that video of the kid online who got very sick from vaping, and she said, donald, do something vaping has become a very big business as i understand it, like a giant business in a very short period of time. But we cant allow people to get sick. And we cant have our youth be so affected, and im hearing it. And thats how the first lady got involved. Shes got a son, together, that is a beautiful young man, and she feels very, very strongly about it. Jimmy shes got a son, uh, together. Lets have another look at that, if we could. Thats how the first lady got involved. Shes got a son, together, that is a beautiful young man. Jimmy or so i hear. Ive anot seen him for a while. He better not be vaping. Flavored ecigarettes have been blamed for the deaths of six people. He wants to ban them to protect children from being harmed or killed. And i think thats good. You know what else harms and kills children . Assault rifles do. [cheers and applause] maybe, maybe, if the nra starts flavoring those youll ban them too. There are new details explaining the abrupt departure of john bolton. Trump says he fired john bolton. Bolton says he resigned. Although we dont know exactly how it went down, we do know why it went down. Bolton was especially disliked by the north korean regime. He and the administration also clashed on afghanistan. The final breaking point came from reports that President Trump wanted to Deploy Nuclear weapons against hurricanes. Jimmy why would that scare him off . What is he, working for the hurricanes . Nuking hurricanes is how sharknados get started, did you know that . The president has been, i guess hes been annoyed by the reporting of this story, which has basically been that bolton was against him inviting the taliban to sleep over at camp and didnt approve of these warm relationships he had with vlad putin and kim jong un. So he gathered the fake news together to give his take on why bolton bolted. John is actually somebody i got along with very well. He made some very big mistakes. And frankly, he wanted to do things, not necessarily tougher than me. Johns known as a tough guy. Hes so tough he got us into iraq. Thats tough. John wasnt in line with what we were doing. In some cases he thought it was too tough what we were doing, mr. Tough guy. Jimmy sounds like a real dope. Who hired that guy . Whoever did that must be an idiot. Oh, yesterday, you probably know, apple unveiled three new iphones. They got the iphone 11, the iphone 11 pro and the iphone 11 pro max. The last two have three cameras. That may seem even good, but there are concerns this could be a problem for those who suffer from tripaphobia. Tripaphobia is a fear of small holes. Kendall jenner suffers from it, so you know its serious. The site believes that one of the reasons for the fear is that our brains associate groups of small holes with dangerous plants, animals and diseases. 6 of humans will react negatively to these images. So are so crippled they cant function. If you are so terrified of little holes that you cant function, it probably means something bad happened on a miniature golf course. And by the way, if you have this condition, how could you use any cell phone . Theres small holes in all of them. Even the oldtime phones have even more, i mean, if this catches on, the folks at cheerios are absolutely screwed. This is something that [ applause ] this is actually scary, so. Have you seen the mug shot of the guy who looks like walter white . This went around today. This man is wanted for violating parole for a charge related to methamphetamine. This is what it looks like if breaking bad went to season 30. Heres a tip for meth heads. If youre wanting to stay under the radar, maybe try not to look like the most famous meth dealer of all time. Hasbro this week, they make games and toys. They have announced they have a new femaleoriented version of monopoly in the works. In this version the women get more money than men. Itsled ms. Monopoly. They get 1900 to start with. Men get 1500. Women get 240 when they pass go. Men only get 200 to pass go. This sounds like a good way to make your son hate your daughter. Really. They took the bro out of hasbro. Instead of buying properties the players invest in products invented by women. Theyre sending a strong message to young girls, and that is, we have no idea what feminism even means anymore. I dont know, is this ridiculous . If you think about it, playing monopoly or any board game is one of the few places in life where there is no discrimination. It doesnt matter what gender you are, what color you are, everyone starts with the same amount of money and everybody has the same chance to lose it or turn it into more. Its not like boys are better at rolling dice. Its like when you pretend to race a little kid and let the kid win, except in this case, the kid is a woman whos been given an unfair advantage. She didnt really win, she had more money. This is a dumb idea is what im saying. And monopoly. I dont want to single them out, thats not the only board game planning to lady it up. Theres another classic board game with a feminist twist, too. Its that classic board game your family loves. Yes, sorry with a feminine twist ah sor actually, no. Im not sorry. Why am i always apologizing . I like who i am. And i dont need your forgiveness. Oh, okay. I think its my turn. Its been your turn for centuries im done apologizing, by parker sisters. Makers of trivial pant suits. Jimmy now that i would buy for my daughter. Jimmy tonight, music from fall out boy. Bill burr is here, and well be right back with Sharon Osbourne. Abcs Jimmy Kimmel Live, brought to you by progressive. If you say so. ] im sorry . What teach here isnt telling you is that snapshot rewards safe drivers with discounts on Car Insurance. What . Or maybe he didnt know. [ chuckles ] im done with this class. Youre not even enrolled in this class. I know. Im supposed to be in ceramics. Do you know room 303. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Good luck, everybody. Oh. Thank you. Yeah. Schools are having acrto cut sports. Y, im tony the tiger and im on a mission to fix that. 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The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. Jimmy hi, everyone, welcome back to the show. Tonight, a very funny gentleman. S latest netflix comedy special is called, paper tiger. Bill burr is here. Then, the song is called, dear future self hands up , fall out boy with wyclef jean from the mercedesbenz stage. You can see fall out boy live next year on the hella mega tour, with weezer and green day. Green day will be here tomorrow night after the democrats debate with sean penn and danielle macdonald. So please join us for that. 17 years after she rocketed to fame, our first guest is now a daytime television star. Season ten of the talk, please say hello to sharon jimmy hey, congratulations. Ten seasons of this show. Can you believe it . And ive not been fired yet. Jimmy not only have you not been fired, i believe you are the only remaining, living host of the show. Did you know that . I am, yes. Jimmy i actually had them write it down. Youve had ten cohosts over the last ten years. Some are still with you. Come on. Jimmy how many of them can you name . Whos on the show . Jimmy mmhm. And who was on the show, too. Oh. Well, ill start with whos on the show now. Jimmy you saw them today. Whos on the show now. Is carrie ann, cheryl underwood. Jimmy yes. Me, marie osmond. Jimmy thats correct. Lets dig a little deeper. Can you name go ahead. Go on. Jimmy no, you go on. Youve got to name the rest of them. Oh, julie chen. Jimmy mmhm. Yes. Uh, what was their name. Leah remini. Holly robertson. Jimmy yes. And jimmy three more three . Jimmy yeah. Get outta here jimmy there are three more. [ bleep ]. Jimmy one of them was just with you last year. Oh, sarah gilbert. Jimmy yes, two more. Ayesha. Jimmy correct. And one more. Her name starts with an m. Who is it . Who is it . Jimmy if i tell you, you didnt know, right . Ma oh, marie jimmy no. Maries on the show now. Marissa. Yes. Jimmy marissa. She was on yes, yes. Jimmy thats correct. So i win. Oh. Jimmy issas going to be thrilled. Marie osmond is new. Shes with you now. Yeah, she is. Jimmy do they run that by you first . Yeah, of course. Marie had been a guest on the show many times in the past. Jimmy right. Is she nuts, marie osmond . No. Jimmy shes not . No shes very, very nice lady. Jimmy uhhuh. Got a great family. You know. Jimmy well, the osmonds. Anybody who grew up in the 70s, the idea that the osmonds and the osbornes have come together to work on anything at all is insane. Its insane. Jimmy nobody would have believed any of this had you told me this in 1976. She is a really lovely lady. Shes a very nice person. She doesnt swear. No, seriously. Jimmy shes just like you. I do the swearing to the show. Jimmy you do the swearing on the show. Yeah, for everyone. Jimmy you guys have been running promos for this new season. Yeah. Jimmy this is a real thing. Take a look at this really quickly. Its a new set were getting an upgrade. Plus, theres a new face at the table. Make that two new faces. Oh, yes, darling. Were revealing my facelift. Jimmy by the way, you look fantastic. Thank you, thank you. Jimmy which i think is kind of a bad thing. Most women do not look good when they get a facelift. And then you look good and everyone goes oh, i should do that, too, because she looks great, but in most cases it doesnt, does it . Its just so that its so popular now. Jimmy yeah. For men and women to get facelifts that theres, you know, very few really good surgeons, and there are so many people wanting to have it done that, you know, odds are youre going to get a dud. Jimmy yeah, but i think maybe some peoples skin or faces just dont lend itself to that. Thats very true. Peoples bone structure, it just doesnt, and i think, too, a lot of people go in to change too much. Jimmy i see. And then it just doesnt work. Jimmy at this point, do you even get andes thetsic he actually gave me a procedure where i didnt have and aesthetic. Jimmy for real . Only one. Jimmy is there a deal where you have the bandages on your face and theres the reveal and you look at it and youre nervous . No, thats like in the movies. Jimmy oh, really . Thats not how it works . Oh, youve got tubes coming out of your head and rubber bowls that the blood goes into, and youve got that four five day days and you look amazing. Jimmy and the first time you look in the mirror is days later or right away . Oh, no, days later. Cant be doing that. Jimmy what i would do is glue some sort of a horrible face to a mirror. Youre bad. Jimmy and i would hand you the mirror and youd look at it and scream. Yes, have a heart attack. Jimmy and i would laugh and laugh and laugh. Nobody does that. Seems like jack would do Something Like that, no . No. I mean, kelly was with me. For most of the time. And when i woke up, she told me that i was going help me, help me. And she said, what can i do for you . Im like, just help me. Jimmy did she help you. I dont know what i wanted help for. Jimmy its hard to figure out. How is ozzy by the way . I know he had his farewell tour. And he was unable to finish it. He did one year of a twoyear tour. He did one year, and then he got flu, which led to pneumonia. Jimmy right. He was home, you know, this thing happens to so many people, but he gets up in the night, goes to the bathroom, comes back. Falls on the rug. And bashed his head on the side table. Then he went this way and bashed his head on post of our bed. And down he went. He didnt put his hands down. Jimmy right. And he went face down, and his neck went back. And he had to have spinal surgery. Jimmy oh, boy. And hed had a motorbike accident like a few years ago, and he had metal rods in his body. And the fall pushed the rods through his bones. Jimmy ooh. So he to have three major operations. Jimmy you guys are a mess. You should be living in a hospital. I tell you what. Ozzy the other day put together an x ray of his upper chest and his neck, and no wonder they call him iron man, because i tell you, hes got bolts. Jimmy he has literally become that. Hes got so much metal in his body. Its like frightening. Jimmy sorry to hear that, but is he okay now or no . Hes getting a lot better, but its been a very, very hard road. Jimmy hes got like the number two single on the charts right now with post malone. How did that end up happening . Kelly knows posts producer. Jimmy uhhuh. And post was a fan of ozzys. And he was doing all these different collaborations on his new album, and he asked ozzy if he wanted to do it and. Jimmy did ozzy know who post malone was at that time . Oh, yeah, yeah. Jimmy okay. And it was just great. I mean, they spoke to each other over skype from the studio. Because post was on the road. And ozzys in the studio with posts producer, around really, truly, it took like 30 minutes, done. Jimmy now will ozzy do another fair will tour to finish the farewell tour . Hes going to pick up the dates that we had to jimmy part two of the farewell tour . And hopefully it will be starting in february. Jimmy please tell him i said hello. Well be right back with sharon after this. [cheers a [cheers and applause] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by ikea. Best, fastest, best. Enough. Sprints doing things differently. Theyre offering a new 100 total satisfaction guarantee. I mean i think Sprints Network and savings are great, but dont just take my word for it. Try it out and decide for yourself. Switch to sprint and get both an unlimited plan and one of the newest phones included for just 35 a month. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. But dad, youve got allstate. 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