Would imply he was raveled in the first place. I think he might be smoking black market vapes. Trump tweeted and retweeted more than 100 times this weekend. Since friday the president has retweeted 130 times and counting. These are his tweets. And hes playing all the hits. He called this the greatest witch hunt in the history of our country. Even his witch hunts are the greatest in the history. [ laughter ] he wrote, if that perfect phone call with the president of ukraine isnt considered appropriate, then no future president can ever again speak to another foreign leader. Right. All overseas phone calls will be disallowed hereforth. to the wait did frowe just winners. Prouders it was a perfect conversation with ukraines president. And who is he quoting here . Everyone uses their phone differently. Thats right. Thats why Xfinity Mobile lets you design hes quoting himself. Your own data. [ laughter ] now you can share it between lines. Again, the president of ukraine said there was no, zero, mix with unlimited, and switch it up at anytime pressure put on him by me. So you only pay for what you need. Case closed. Thats right. The manager of the bank did not feel threatened when i came in to rob the place at all. s designed to sandave hundredsr onouss bill. Mix with unlimited, kind of itch it up at anytime [ laughter ] get 250 back when you buy a new samsung note. And his next illegal act, by the way, will be going after the call, click, or vitoy. Whistleblower. Which look at this. Fake whistleblower. The whistle he blew was fake. I bet hes looking all over the white house for a guy with a whistle in his mouth right now. [ laughter ] hes losing what little was left of his mind. He even retweeted a comedy twitter account called trump but about sharks. Its an account that takes his tweets and makes them about sharks. [ laughter ] so he retweeted it. Hes so rattled, for lunch today aides say he ate a bucket of adderall and snorted his fried chicken. [ laughter ] this idea that he wants to meet you know, he wants to meet the whistleblower. Actually, the quote was i deserve to meet my accuser. That to me is an indication that maybe he isnt entirely clear on how whistleblowing works. [ laughter ] usually when trump thinks he deserves to meet someone he you just barges into her dressing room and says welcome to the Miss Universe pageant. [ laughter ] but i know he wont. But he better be careful with this whistleblower stuff. It is quite clearly both illegal and unethical to target a government whistleblower. Theyre protected by law. But not only does he do it, he puts it in writing. He writes i want to meet not only my accuser, who presented second and thirdhand information but also the person who illegally gave this information which was largely incorrect, to the whistleblower. Was this person spying on the u. S. President . Big consequences that doesnt read like a threat, does it . Trump could be the First American president to get impeached by a whistle blow [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were back with [ bleep ]. This could be jonathan van ness. Does it look isnt that right . Does my beard i feel like its still not as sparkly as [ cheers and applause ] yours. Thank you. That got bleeped. According to a new poll, a its got some shine to it. Jimmy that ne and hydrated. Majority of americans, 55 , say jimmy well, thank you. They support an impch thank you for hydrating my beard. Yes. Jimmy i think this is a inquiry. That means some republicans are for it too. Really interesting thing. But trump in what felt like a that your family owned what was very desperate move posted a it, a local television station, video to twitter as if he cant get on the news to tell his local newspaper, and was there and a radio station. Supporters that he has no intention of going anywhere jimmy in quincy, illinois anytime soon. Whats going on now is the co. And did you participate in the Family Business . I was always trying to figure single greatest scam in the out how i was going to triple history of american politics. The democrats want to take away axel, triple toe loop my way out of that Family Business. Your guns. [ laughter ] they want to take away your jimmy i see. But this one time i think it health care. Was after the 1994 freefall they want to take away your vote. They want to take away your convention which used to happen freedom. Every year in my hometown until they want to take away your judges. They want to take away the insurance rates got too everything. Jimmy and back to maralago high. It was like a serious thing. You go. But the front page of the paper came out and a few quality [ cheers and applause ] control things had slipped through the cracks. Theres so much going on, but it was 1994. One of the major details in this things happened. And this guy was rolling up his whistleblower report was that parachute and right next to his officials in the white house were so alarmed by trumps call parachute and the book bag was his right testicle. Fully on the front page. With ukraine they moved records of a call to a special top one exposed hairy testicle. Secret server and according to the whistleblower that wasnt the only time theyve done this. My mom woke me up and she was like weve got to get up, weve the white house reportedly got to get out of here. Om andou restricted access to trumps calls with vladimir putin, the just basically dividedheow a th crown prince of saudi arabia, and even the Prime Minister of australia. Trump tried to get the prime rch. Minister of australia to dig up the sticle. Dirt on the mueller investigation. So this thing is blooming like an onion right now. At this point it might be easier yeah. In a way it was but we did it. Just to list the names of jimmy you were the opposite foreign leaders he hasnt tried of a paper boy. To extort because what could is that you went and took yes. Reverse paper boy. Trump threaten to withhold from australia . The hemsworths . Exactly. Jimmy boy, that was a simpler time, wasnt it . [ laughter ] im sorry, but were keeping it was. You had a minute. Liam until we figure out what the hells going on. You had a beat. And if trump had been putting jimmy you took a breath, all thinks calls in this special honey. Right . [ laughter ] classified server or system or [ cheers and applause ] see that . Whatever, that would be one im learning already. Thing. But he only put a few in. So youre on this book tour now. Youre talking about the book. Yeah. Jimmy youre talking to so he knows this is the bad people who sometimes i would ones. This is like putting magazines under your mattress. Theres no Popular Mechanics imagine that people come up to under there. You and they have like maybe its porn, okay . Theyre admitting things to you, theyre telling you things that and if your mom finds it youre in a lot of trouble. Theyve not told anyone before. The Washington Post also spoke to a white house official who explained what trump was telling definitely. Jimmy and what do you tell these Russian Diplomats back in those people when they say that 2017. To you . I really just say like im so you remember this one . Trump supposedly told them he grateful that people feel secure to talk to me about these wasnt concerned that they things. And you rlly well, interfered in our election because the u. S. Does it to other countries all the time. And you can see in the if its about something thats expressions on their faces they similar to me, whos your cant believe their good fortune. Doctor, where are we going, are [ laughter ] theyre like oh, my god, this we signed up, do you have questions im real practical, guy might give us alaska back if like lets get this together. But really i think its beene we ask him nicely. [ laughter ] so russia weighed in on all this like Media Coverage from the today. A spokesman for putin said if i hate talking about my own work. Like Media Coverage. The white house wants to release it still feels so unnatural. But a lot of the coverage about any transcripts of calls between putin and trump they have to get the book was like devastating russian permission first. Adyhay with little ding don ie diagnosis. Like and a lot of people have approached me that just read a headline, im so sorry that this happened. Jimmy oh, yeah. Its interesting that its doesnt get the okay before he publishes them. Jimmy click bait. Yeah, the devastating thing this is so crazy. Isnt this crazy, guillermo . Came up so many times. Guillermo very crazy. I understand why we have to write stories sometimes that intrigue people. [ laughter and there are things like [ laughter ] jimmy trump also suggested devastating hiv but actually that adam schiff, who runs the thats like one tiny baby line house intelligence committee, be in this gorgeous 288page book. Arrested for treason, he suggested that today, for daring and really i talk about really to look into all these stupid what this is is its like the and illegal things he story of my survival. Did. And still most every prominent and its the story of like my republican is sticking with mom would say learning to bloom trump. None of these guys are on the where youre planted and then uprooting your pot but not phone but theyre all 100 sure messing up your little root so he did nothing wrong. You could move to l. A. And other they 100 believe there is no need to look into one iota of places. But hopefully by ending stigma its shocking. It really is. And i want to read a quote today and really embracing acceptance more people like me wont want that i saw last night. I want to share it. To escape their little baby on the subject of donald trump. Hometowns and theyll have like and it goes like this. Better upbringings where theyre not getting bullied a the elect the man is a pathological liar. He doesnt know the difference between truth and lies. He lies with practically every you know word that comes out of his mouth. And he has a pattern that i think is straight out of a [ cheers and applause ] this is literally the way psychology textbook. That and then statehood for d. C. His response is to accuse statehood for d. C. And then everybody else of lying. Whatever he does he accuses kindness. Weve got a primary and a backup everyone else of doing. Plan. The man cannot tell the truth jimmy if you can do those two things you can grow up to but he combines it with being a become a very successful person narcissist. A narcissist at a level i dont with the cleanest and shiniest think this country has ever beard in the world. Seen. Everything in donalds world is about donald, and he combines yes being a pathological liar, and i [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Jonathan van ness say pathological because i actually think donald, if you his memoir is over the top a hooked him up to a lie detector raw journey to selflove. Test, he could say one thing in the morning, one thing at noon and one thing in the evening, thank you, jojt. All contradictory, and hed pass well be right back with lucy boynton. The Lie Detector Test each time. Which menu am i looking at here . Start with tapaz. Oh, its tapas. Tapas. Whatever lie hes telling at that minute he believes it. Get out of town. But the man is utterly a moron. Its like eating dinner with your parents. Sandra, are you in school . Yes, im in art school. Oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] so have you thought about how youre gonna make money . At least were learning some new things. All right. You want to know who said that . We bundled our home and auto with progressive, saved a bunch. Any guesses . Those are the words of none other than republican senator but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Ted cruz back in 2016. Thats what the extra menus for. And where is that guy now . How can it all be different . Come on, ted. Fire that cruz missile again. We need it. [ laughter ] ted cruz has been pretty quiet throughout this. But the president s henchman and when you bundle with us. Woman were out in full force this weekend defending their boss baby with everything theyve got. Mueller wasnt a witch hunt, this is salem witch trials have create up to 12 combinations with more due process than this. Applebees new pasta and grill combos starting at 9. 99. How do you know shes a witch . Somebody told me shes a witch. And get more bites for how do you know shes a witch . Your buck with our i read articles thinking she late night halfpriced apps. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Might abe witch. Guess what . Daddy comes running to the rescue. The Vice President of the United States thats not what happened. Only tylenol® rapid release gels sir, thats not what happened. This is a deep state have laser drilled holes. Operative pure and simple. They release medicine fast, if i were the speaker i for fast pain relief. Wouldnt want to go into next tylenol®. Years election having it credibly said that all you did for the whole congress was harass the president and try to remove him from office. A couple hours later she does the worst thing a woman in power can do, she just changes her mind because the men around her said change your mind, we need an impeachment. What do you make of this exchange . President zelensky says we are almost ready to buy more javelins from the United States for defense purposes. And President Trump replies, i would like you to do us a favor, though. You just added another word. No. A favor, though . Yes. Its in the white house transcript. When i read the transcript, president zelensky brings up a javelin as a protection for antitank. Something that president obama would not sell. That President Trump did to for fast pain relief. Protect the ukraine. Were pretty different. Were all unique in our own ways. Jimmy right. Somos muy diferentes. Muy diferentes. Because he cares about the ukraine very, very deeply. vo verizon knows everyone in your family is different. He couldnt find ukraine on a there are so many of us doing so many different things. Map. Not a chance. I would bet 00. vo different unlimited plans. Eryonh you co ge t weeks to study it and he wouldnt be vveryonge wt d without paying for things they dont. Able to find ukraine. The plan is so reasonable, one person who was not defending they could stay on for the rest of their lives. Trump this weekend was robert de aww, did you get that on camera . Thanks, dad niro, you who know, usually vo switch now to verizon. Robert de niros a very private new plans start at just 35. Dpie but when it comes to trump thats our lowest price for unlimited, ever. And his friends at fox news the the network more people rely on gives you more. Raging bull comes out. This guy is should not be schools are having acrto cut sports. Y, president , period. When you say, that folks on fox come after you. Im tony the tiger and im on a mission to fix that. I remember the tonys when you got up there and cursed. Bring back the tigers. [ bleep ]. Your mighty, mighty tigers. [ bleep ]. [cheering sounds] sorry. Its not an fcc violation. Buy a box and help all kids be tigers. But it is still a sunday morning. [ laughter ] jimmy cnn just met the fockers. Performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra [ laughter ] the president through his lawyer Rudy Giuliani has continued to explain his involvement in ukraine. Giuliani claims he was asked by theres the ampedup, overtuned, the state department to feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. Investigate hunter biden and joe biden even though the state Department Says that didnt and then theres performance that happen. Just leaves you feeling better as a result. Team biden responded by sending a letter to all the News Networks asking them not to book thats the kind lincolns about. Giuliani on their shows anymore. Which i disagree. I urge them to book giuliani on their shows as much as possible. I have a show to do too and i need him. [ laughter ] okay . As an alternative to giuliani bidens team is recommending that they feed a bag of meth to a goat instead and interview that. [ laughter ] but the Trump Campaign is smart. Their strategy is to make the president look sane by allowing this is you shopping. Giuliani to speak as much as and this is you maximizing at t. J. Maxx. Possible on every news show all the time. This is from this weekend alone. You shopping, im glad to see you have the you maximizing. Courage to have me on. Im very dangerous. The reason he had want me to be you shopping, silenced is not because im you maximizing. Unhinged. Its because ive got facts. Get more of the brands you love i mean, the poor kid is and the quality you want, and save every time. Challenged. You know that. I mean, its a shame i dont know that. Its not shopping, its maximizing. I actually think they should all congratulate me. Start maximizing today i want to move the conversation along. A lot oof stuff maxx life at t. J. Maxx. If youre a democrat thats obvious. Hes our al gore. Hold that thought. Mr. Mayor, how was your meeting with andre . Do you have time for a call . Best kurt. I should be a whistleblower. There is so much it is damaging. Its going to hurt the country. Yes. I agree. Very sad. Why dont you ask him hes coming up right now. Re a him as often as you interrupt me . I gave you plenty of chances to lets see how the interview goes. Hi, adam. Nice to see you. Thank you, mr. Mayor. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Jimmy the president has 200 lawyers. Thats the one he picks to be on tv. [ laughter ] so rudy was subpoenaed by three house committees this afternoon in relation to this. This is all coming to a head, a very, very unhinged head. Mean, im sure this is no coincidence, as the president faces a scandal involving the use of a separate server to hide records of his phone calls his state department is ramping up an investigation into Hillary Clintons emails. Remember that one . Thats what hes focused on. This is like if o. J. Halfw wawa through the trial demanded an investigation of franco harris. He was a football player. Never mind. [ laughter ] meanwhile monday night i know the nfl fans were elsewhere. [ laughter ] theres good news for those of you who would like to escape t planet, which is a lot of people right now. Elon musk this weekend you know the tesla guy, elon musk . Unveiled his plan to fly private citizens to the moon. And this is the rocket, which is a little bit phallic, yes. [ laughter ] i hope mike pence doesnt see this because he will send the space force in to blow it up. But elon musk said, this is going to sound totally nuts but i think we want to try to read orbit in about six months. Dicky if youre going to be in the l. A. Area and want