Rush of endorphins you feel when the car door slams shut, and you peel out of the preschool parking lot like a duke of hazzard. My cousin sal and his wife decided theyre sending their kids back to school on may 1st no matter what. Even if its closed. If its closed, they can hang out by the hopscotch area until three oclock. There is word now that students may take the sat and act tests from home this year. Wow, if only Felicity Huffman had waited what does a College Acceptance letter even look like right now . We are pleased to inform you you get to stay at home and send us word documents . 95 of the country is under a stay at home order right now. And not everyone agrees with that. There have been protests in multiple states like ohio, michigan and kentucky. This one went on outside the ohio statehouse. And if youre curious what all that schmutz is on the window there, thats the coronavirus. So well done. The real problem is you cant make americans do anything. We just wont. If you tell us to do something, we wont do it. We only exist because someone tried to make us drink tea once. At the Michigan State capitol yesterday there was another major demonstration. This protestor with her spelling of the word governor showed us how important it is that we get schools open asap. And if youre wondering why specifically these people are so angry that they would risk extending this pandemic, ill let this man explain it to you. I cant go between those houses. You cant buy seed or plant fertilizer or seed or, come on. Jimmy come on. Thats right, folks, my lawn isnt going to paint itself hes got the need for seed. The president has also been working from home. Today he held what he described as a major News Conference where he laid out his guidelines for opening the country again. Trump is determined to reopen this country like a bankrupt casino. He had a Conference Call with all the state governors today. On the call, he outlined federal guidelines but told the governors that they will call their own shots. Which is interesting because earlier this week, he said the president of the United States calls the shots. Jimmy in three days, he went from i have absolute authority to you do you. Trump laid out three major steps toward restarting the economy. Number one open the golf courses. Number two open hotels that rhyme with hump. And number three all restaurants that serve food in buckets or in the form of nuggets are good to go. Yesterday trump was asked why the decision was made to put his name on the stimulus relief checks. Turns out, he had nothing to do with that at all. Mr. President , why did you have your name added to these Coronavirus Relief checks . Well, i dont know too much about it, but i understand my name is there. I dont know where theyre going, how theyre going. I do understand its not delaying anything. And im satisfied with that. I dont imagine its a big deal. I imagine people will be very happy to get a big fat beautiful check and my name is on it. Go ahead, please. Jimmy yes, most people probably wont even cash them. Theyll probably want to frame them, to hang on the wall over the precious moments figurines. My coworkers and i are fortunate that we have been able to do a version of our show every night. But some of our staff is getting anxious. Our announcer, dicky barrett, i think hes been at home too long. Because hes starting to do weird things. Dicky this morning, its breakfast at the house with pancakes, scrambled eggs turkey bacon and a special musical appearance by bowl of blueberries and now, the star of the show, chocolate milk [ applause ] jimmy kids, your father needs help. Im glad we finally got to see what dicky looks like in a robe. And one more item before we press on. A glimmer of beauty in these grim and depressing times. This video was captured outside a home in philadelphia. A woman noticed her dogs looking at something outside the window. So she grabbed her phone and lo and behold it was a groundhog eating a slice of pizza. Which, i think means we have another two months of home confinement. The groundhog just kept chomping away for more than an hour. Youve heard of Punxatawny Phil . This is Quarantiny Tim he looks like me every night for the last three weeks. Some people are comparing this guy to the pizza rat. Every time an animal is on video eating human food now you hear move over pizza rat but heres a little reality check the pizza rat . That was five years ago. Rats have a Life Expectancy of two years. Hes dead people. The pizza rat is dead. Sorry. Is now a bad time for that information . Anyway, thank you, groundhog, for bringing some joy to our lives. We need to take a break but we have a very special guest. It was his birthday yesterday. When we come back, seth rogen will join us. So dont leave, which you couldnt do anyway. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by allstate. Okay safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Safe drivers do save 40 . This is gonna be americas favorite breakfast. They just dont know it yet. ding these are a few of my favorite things. You order a breakfast sandwich and thats when wendys makes it. Not weeks. Or months ago. Try your new favorite. Get a free breakfast baconator with offer in the app. More than ever, your home is your sanctuary. Thats why lincoln offers you the ability to purchase a new vehicle remotely with participating dealers. An effortless transaction all without leaving the comfort and safety of your home. Thats the power of sanctuary. And for a little extra help, receive 0 apr financing and defer your first payment up to 120 days on the purchase of a new lincoln. Start with a round brush head. How do your teeth get a dentistclean feeling . Add power. And youve got oralb oralbs round brush head surrounds each tooth to remove more plaque. For a superior clean, round cleans better. Oralb. Hey allergy muddlers. Achoo . Do your sneezes turn heads . Try zyrtec. It starts working hard at hour one. And works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Zyrtec muddle no more. vo thank you to all the front line heroes for leading this fight. For early mornings, late nights, double shifts, and overnights, for calloused hands and skin scrubbed raw. And for being brave enough to go to work today. Thank you, from all of us cheering you on. [overlapping applause and cheers] hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . Were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Stack pringles flavors make new ones. Michael vasquez come over here. Ive heard such good things about you, your company. Well, i wouldnt have done any of it without you. Without this place. This is for you. Michael, you didnt have to. And, were going to need some help with the rest. Youve worked so hard to achieve so much. Perhaps its time to partner with someone who knows you and your business well enough to understand what your wealth is really for. Jimmy welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live from my house. Make sure to join us next week with both thor and spiderman, Chris Hemsworth and tom holland. Well have music from eob. And on monday 4 20 we will be joined by snoop dogg. Do you think hell be able to turn his webcam on on 4 20 . Speaking of 4 20, my guest tonight was hunkered down long before the government ordered him to be. He loves pot and pottery. Please say hello to seth rogen. Seth, thank you for checking in. Yeah, man, no problem. Jimmy how have you been . Im okay, just cooped up at homelike everyone else. How are you holding up . Jimmy a little stircrazy, but im doing okay. You know, with the kids here. Macaroni and cheese, lots of ramen, stuff like that. Jimmy sorry, what . I do have enough toilet paper. Worse comes to worse, i have a box of mclovin tee shirts in my garage from 2007. I can use those. Jimmy i didnt ask about toilet paper. Seth, can you hear me . Seth . Yo, hey, hows it going . Jimmy hey. Were you playing a prerecorded video of yourself . Yeah, ive been doing a lot of zoom calls and i realized i dont actually have to be there for a lot of them. Amazing what you can do with prerecording nowadays. Ive been very productive. Jimmy people are falling for this . Yeah, i did a bar mitzvah and sold a pitch to paramount. Jimmy are you one of our nations greatest minds. You see a person who is cut out for this stay at home thing. Your hair, your beard, just the kind of stuff youre into, your hobbies. Yeah, this has not been, i, we are not all in this together, because this has not been that bad for me. [ laughter ] this has been fine. I am built for this. I kind of have been selfisolating since 2009, to be totally honest. Jimmy i follow you on social media, and i notice you do a lot of pottery. Is it all pottery . Ceramics as well, yes . Yeah, i do pottery, ceramics, ive smoked a truly ungodly am of weed. During the time ive been quarantined. Thank gods been ruled essential. I would describe it as essential. So its perfect. Jimmy do you do that while youre making pottery . While youre working on the wheel . You have a wheel, i assume. So many of our friends wanted to do pottery, we got a literal third wheel to allow friends to do pottery with us. We have wheels, a kiln, we found a place that will deliver clay during this time of quarantine, so yeah. I started making soap dispensers, because i think that is apropos in this era we are in right now. Jimmy i like that. Thanks. Ive made a lot of them. Heres another soap dispenser. One i made. This is a lovely one. This is what happens. Jimmy you know, its funny. You have this beautiful, homemade object that you sculpted with your hands, and yet you have no choice but to put some piece of chinese plastic pump in the top of it. Exactly. One day ill learn to make these. Next pandemic ill learn to make actual pumps. Jimmy i would love to be your third wheel. Id love to come over and maybe just the two of us take off our shirts and reenact the scene from ghost. It gives us something to look forward to if they ever end this. Jimmy happy belated birthday. What do you do when you cant go anywhere . My wife had arranged for some of our friends to drive by our house and wave to me, which i realize for me is perfect. All i want is to see everyone for 15 to 25 seconds. I dont like to get too close. Im more than happy to just go out, wave to my friends, speak to them for 15 seconds and everyone can go on their merry way. Its truly, again, im really built for this. The fact that i have no kids is making this a truly not that bad thing. Jimmy this is something that gets a lot of discussion in our house, how jealous we are of people who are able to do what they want. I will be alone on my deathbed not having talked to anyone for 15 years, and i will be, it was worth it for that coronavirus [ bleep ]. Me and my wife had a lovely time. Jimmy how are your parents doing . Theyre good. Theyre in canada, which is a slightlybetterfunctioning country. Jimmy i think thats their slogan, a slightly better functioning country. [ laughter ] are they taking it seriously . Are they locked up . Are they staying active . What are they up to . No, theyre taking it serious, thank god. I think the nba being canceled is the thing that drove it home for my dad. If that hadnt happened he really wouldnt have accepted it. That was the thing where he was like, okay, this is real. My mom has is started doing zoom yoga classes. Shes a Yoga Instructor and does yoga classes. Jimmy she is holding them. She is not just a part of them. Shes running them. She is the instructor in the zoom yoga class. Yeah. Jimmy do you do zoom yoga with your mom . I have attended a few zoom yoga classes with my mom. But the sound of ones own mothers voice is the least relaxing thing in the entire world. When youre doing yoga, there is no thing that is less calming than when your mother tells you to do it. Jimmy that makes sense. Its not that fun. Jimmy were going to take a break and find out more about seths life in incarceration when we come back. Thweve never seen it look quite like this, but theres no mistaking it. And its our job to protect it. Because the best people to fight for our communities are those within them. Protect it. So, if youve just bought a volkswagen or were thinking of buying sometime soon, were here to help with the Community Driven promise. Life is too far you cant do it on your own but time will show and dont you know how bad we need each other . You know what im saying . Hmmm. Mmm. Mmmm. Mmmm this smoothie has over 3 times v8 onlyas much. Ams of sugar. So maybe we should call this smoothie, sweetie. V8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. Only roomba i7 uses two multisurface rubber brushes. And picks up more pet hair than other robot vacuums. And the filter captures 99 of dog and cat allergens. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba™. Sprinting past every leak in our softest, smoothest fabric. Shes confident, protected, her strength respected. Depend. The only thing stronger than us, is you. Ev rand fast, reliable, secured internet from xfinity can help. We have plans to fit every budget with speeds up to a gigall at xfinity. Com. Well ship you a selfinstall kit that makes setup quick, safe and easy. No tech visit required. And our simple Digital Tools will help you manage your account online. At xfinity, were committed to keeping you connected. Find great offers and value, today, at xfinity. Com jimmy welcome back to my house. Seth rogen is on the line with us. Seth keeps very busy especially during this time of quarantine. Last month you were watching the movie cats, what was it, on payperview . It was on itunes, i believe. Jimmy and you decided to live tweet along with it. I did. I just found myself doing it. It wasnt a conscious decision. It was one of those things where i looked back and i was like, ive been doing this for an hour now. Jimmy it was a very big hit. People seemed to enjoy it very much. Well, it seems like a lot of people have been harboring the feeling id never seen cats the broadway musical, i knew nothing about cats. I was shocked. It was appalling. It makes no sense. It was crazy. As a film maker your instinct is to be this is a poorlymade movie, which it might be. But i do think that it is, its based on nonsense. The play is nonsense. And it long supports a theory i have that when something is live you have a much lower tolerance for how good or bad it is. Like there are things, like, and cats is a perfect example. That survived on broadway for like 40 years. It sucks. As soon as you commit it to film you see how it makes no sense. Its like you walk down the street. You see a guy banging on buckets, and you watch that for an hour, but you wouldnt watch a film of that happening for an hour. Like, in person, its cool. But as soon as its been committed to some sort of film it has to be much better, and cats did not seem to understand that at the time they made the thing. They thought oh, people go watch this live. It must be entertaining. Thats not true. Just because you watch something live. I once saw a guy balancing a dishwasher on his chin. Live, youre like, thats amazing. I wouldnt pay to go see that at the movie theater. Jimmy did you hear from any of the cast after you went through it . No, but a visual effects artist told me the greatest piece of news id ever heard that up until very close to release, all the cats had buttholes. They realized very close to release that that was a potentially bad idea. I keep doing this. And they had the visual effects artist frantically erase all the buttholes from the cats in the weeks leading up to the release. That means somewhere out there exists out of that movie that is even crazier than the cut that was released in that every cat jimmy oh, i hope theres a directors cut. The butthole cut. Jimmy were going to try that on our show, actually. Were going to cgi out all the buttholes. Exactly. Jimmy since we are going through a very difficult time, each night im going to be making a donation to a charity of our guests choice, and you have a charity that you have been very active with for a very long time. Tell us about that. Um, well, we have a charity, hfc, my motherinlaw passed away not long ago from alzheimers, she had earlyonset alzheimers, since she was in her mid50s. Ever since then, we started a charity. My fatherinlaw was her caregiver for years and years and years, and he had help, people coming into his house to help care for her. And in times like this, caregivers have nothing. The people they generally rely on are not there. They are really alone. And one of the things weve done just recently is try to create more Online Support groups for people so they can share their pain and anguish in these times. And, you know, i think this virus has affected a lot of people in a lot of ways, but there were people already dealing with disease, and this has just made that time much harder. So hfc. Jimmy i know you do a for them. The website is wearehfc. Org. Thank you, seth. You are a delight in every way. I appreciate you taking some time. No problem, my pleasure, jimmy, stay clean, wipe it down. This is gonna be americas favorite breakfast. They just dont know it yet. ding these are a few of my favorite things. You order a breakfast sandwich and thats when wendys makes it. Not weeks. Or months ago. Try your new favorite. Get a free breakfast baconator with offer in the app. Petsmart has everything your pet needs delivered directly to your door. Now with curbside pickup. Shop petsmart. Com or download our mobile app today. Hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . Were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Stack pringles flavors make new ones. Thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. Mmm. chef ahhem. Hvr seasoning. Table 7. Jimmy kimmel live from his house. I have a new email, hello aa jim jimmy kimmel. Com. I want arkansas a happy it anniversary. Thank you for watching, now please, get out of my house before i call the police. This is nightline. Tonight, the open and shut case. States gambling on getting back to business in the middle of a pandemic. Steps toward normal