Its, i mean, poor al roker. Every year, hey look, its garfield. Oh, the teletubbies. When i was a kid, my dad would wake us up. Every thanksgiving, hed come into our rooms. The only time i ever remember him coming into my room, hed come in and say, the parade is on and wed be like, who cares . I hate parades. Always have. To me, its just traffic with balloons. But every year, my father would force us out of bed at like 6 30 in the morning to watch it. And so what did i do on thursday . I got the kids, i said hey the parade is on youve gotta watch it they watched for about four minutes. They saw chase from paw patrol and said, put on paw patrol so i watched it alone. Macys did the parade a little bit differently this year. Because of covid, they couldnt have the usual amount of people under the floats. You know, people hold the ropes to the floats, but they couldnt assemble a group of people, so they had to find one guy to do this. This troop of picachu, dancing to the classic pokemon song. And high above the dancer shines a bright spot in the sky. A larger version, a ambassador of the pokemon world, with his red cap jimmy look at him pokemon go. They found him in the hudson river. Its sad. In case you havent checked your email in the past 24 hours, you should know that today is cyber monday. The only day of the year we use the word cyber anymore. Did we really need cyber monday this year . Ive been camped out in front of my laptop since march. Speaking of buying stuff online, this is funny. One of our producers, erin irwin, theres erin dressed as boba fett. Erin and her husband david have a fiveyearold daughter named charlie. Who, unbeknownst to them, ordered something on amazon, using their alexa. Erin, how did this play out . A giant box shows up at the house, and this is what was inside. I got home and she said, i bought something today. I said what are you talking about and i didnt think she did it. A giant box shows up at the house, and this is what was inside. A sixfootstuffed rasta monkey with a banana for a body. And how much was this . Well, she said that it cost 197, and i was like, well, i guess if she did it, it was only 1. 97, it was 197. Jimmy they looked up the transcript of charlies conversation with alexa. You gave this to us. This is what she said. Alexa, could you please order the banana toys . Which by the way, that could have been a lot worse. Thats true. Alexa, buy it now. Alexa, could you buy it now . Alexa, buy it now. Alexa, when is my squishy pillow gonna be coming . Alexa, when is my blush blush blush squishy pillow gonna come. Alexa, my name is charlie. Alexa, what do you wanna talk about . Alexa, are there more boys or are there more girls in the world . Sounds to me like charlie wants you to have another kid. Are you returning the rasta banana or keeping it . I would love to return it and i want it out of my house, but she is madly in love with it. Jimmy it looks like theyre on their honeymoon. Charlie is a genius. She figured out how to cut santa claus out of the loop. She doesnt have to be be nice this year. Did charlie order the tyson fight on pay per view this weekend too . I think so, yeah. Jimmy did you watch it, guillermo . I did. Jimmy on saturday night, mike tyson, after 15 years, returned to the ring to fight fellow retiree roy jones jr. The fight went eight rounds. The judges called it a draw. It was not a draw, not even close. Tyson won every round. Every round, jimmy. Jimmy but they called it a draw, and mike pot before the fight didnt seem to mind at all. Former champions, its a draw. Mr. Tyson, what do you think of that . Im good with that. You think you won the fight . Yeah, but im good with a draw. Why . Because i entertained the crowd, the proud was happy with it. Jimmy who is this person disguised as mike tyson . What happened to the guy who said hed eat your children . And bit off two ears i guess this marijuana really works. Even halfbaked, tyson looked pretty good. Roy jones was hanging on to him for dear life. It felt less like a fight, and more like two old friends seeing each other shortly after getting the vaccine. They are just like hanging on each other. Even though jones has only been retired for a couple of years, tyson was the heavy favorite. Some even worried jones might get seriously hurt. A lot of people were afraid, roy, you might get hurt tonight. Were you really afraid in the back of your head that something could happen that could put you in peril. I was afraid i may get hit. I didnt fight for 20 years and he has not fought in three years. Why nobody care about my ass. Jimmy well. Let me say it here and now. I care deeply about mike tysons ass. Still the best. Nobody better. Yesterday, the Denver Broncos had to play without a quarterback. All four of their qbs were on the covid noplay list. Because they were all together with no masks. What happened was, they got together for what was supposed to be a quick, socially distanced strategy session, then someone turned on the crown. Next thing you know, its 12 hours and three boxes of pink zinfandel later. Theyre all ineligible to play. They had to bring in a rookie receiver to play quarterback. It was like a scene from rudy. Except in this one, rudys team lost. Badly. And rudy was terrible. This was the first time they asked are you ready for some football . And the answer was maybe not . I dont think we are. You know who else is on the injured reserve list . Joe biden. The president elect took a tumble this weekend. Here he is hobbling out of a delaware clinic last night. Biden suffered hairline fractures in his right foot. Even the eventful things that happen to joe biden are uneventful. Apparently, he slipped and fell while playing with major, his dog. The pentagon today announced that major has been demoted to captain. Biden will most likely have to wear an orthopedic boot for a few weeks. So in a way, trump and biden both got the boot this month. Bloatus weighed in on bidens injury last night. He wrote, get well soon hes just jealous because biden has a dog and all he has is mike pence. Can you imagine trump having a dog . I cant picture him feeding anyone else. The closest trump gets to that is when he feeds giuliani a bucket of frozen mice. Meanwhile, this is how the lame duck chose to spend his final thanksgiving at the white house. He threw a worldclass trumper tantrum from behind a tiny little desk. Dont you dare speak to me the if they do. They made a mistake. Because this election was a fraud. Just say you understand. This election was a fraud. So, no, i cant say that at all. I think its a possibility, they are trying to look, between you people, dont talk to me that way. You just are a light weight, dont talk to me that way. Im the president of the United States. Dont ever talk to the president that way. Dont you dare speak to me the way i speak to everyone else sitting at a little baby desk screaming, you cant talk to the president that way is exactly how i want to remember this president. This desk he was sitting at has been used by many president s to sign bills, but usually theyre surrounded by a group of people, so you dont notice how little it is. It looked like he went back to visit his elementary school. The last time i was at a desk like that, i had my head down and we were playing 7up. Small hands on desk the future former president was also asked about his plan for his last turkey day in the white house, and that went about as well as you might expect. Mr. President , do you have plans for your last thanksgiving in the white house . We dont know what is last, if you look at whats going on. You have to really take a look at whats going on. And they are finding tremendous discrepancies in the votes and nobody believes those numbers. Those numbers are incorrect numbers. So, i cant say whats first and whats last in terms of is this the last 1 or is this the first one of a second term. We will see what happens. Ill tell you what happens. Next thanksgiving, you will be at maralago still screaming about the election and eating creamed spinach alone. We are now on day 27 of squattergate. Trump still has not made a concession speech, he continues to dispute the results of the election. Last night, he wrote, no way we lost this election. We might to have to file a restraining order against him. Trump gave his first postelection interview yesterday. He called into the alwayssycophantic maria bartiromos show yesterday to make a cornucopia of unchallenged false claims. I was called by the biggest people saying congratulations, political people. Congratulations, sir, you just won the election. It was 10 00 and you looked at the numbers and im sure you felt that way. This election was over and then they did dumps. They call them dumps. Big massive dumps in michigan, and in pennsylvania, and all over. Jimmy when you get to his age, a lot of the conversation is about the size of your dumps. Maria bartiromo by the way i dont know what happened to her, but she appears to be auditioning for the position of Donald Trumps next wife. This is interesting. According to nbc news, trump underperformed in 25 out of the 30 counties where he held rallies before the election. He did worse in those counties than he did in 2016. I guess telling a group of people who are freezing their nuts off that your opponent will take away their air conditioning didnt rally the base like he hoped. The state of arizona certified a win for joe biden today. They also finished the recount in wisconsin. The recount in wisconsin cost the Trump Campaign three Million Dollars, and the result of that recount was biden picked up 87 more votes. Money well spent. No sitting president has ever lost one election so many times. But trump could be coming back for more. Not only is he reportedly planning to run again in 2024, he is floating the idea of launching his campaign during joe bidens inauguration week. Because of course he is. I think he should do it at bidens inauguration. Run up, grab the mic, and complete his transformation into full orange kanye. Melania trump today unveiled the annual White House Christmas decorations. She wrote, during this special time of the year, i am delighted to share america the beautiful and pay tribute to the majesty of our great nation. Together, we celebrate this land we are all proud to call home. Which is odd because one of the stories that got buried when trumps tax returns came out were the tapes of melania saying she hates doing christmas at the white house. But now, she loves it. This is a video the first lady put out today, putting her be best foot forward. Jimmy at least shes having fun with it. Make no mistake about it. Melania trump is not enthused about being in charge of christmas at the white house. In the war on christmas, she is general lee. But theres an old trump family saying that goes nothing we say is true, so we might as well find a way to make money off it. Christmas is coming. The sleigh bells are ringing and the first lady hates every bit of it. Now you can experience the angst and fury of a White House Christmas, with a new holiday album, with the Melania Trump all the hits on one disk. With classics like the halls. The 12 days of all these. Who cares that santa claus is coming to on town and more. Whether you are in the mood or not. Im working my ass off on this christmas stuff. I know. You are going to appreciate it, damn it. With timeless carrols like, if i hear one more bell on christmas day. What child is this . No one asks obama. And of course, the alltime holiday classic, i saw daddy humping stormy claus. This year, its a Merry Christmas to you and yours and if you dont like it give me a break. Melania trumps who gives a about christmas. Available where pumpkin pies are sold. Jimmy move over, mariah we have a good show for you tonight. Chef david chang is here. Weve got music from Russell Dickerson. And well be right back with Natalie Portman. Orgingerbread builds titradition. A string of lights sparks family ties. A lastminute gift makes a lasting impression. A tray carries your heritage. And an ending means a new beginning. Pringles wavy. With a big crunch and totally different flavors, theyre not really pringles. Just like thats not really daddy. Yes, it is. Ok. Pringles wavy. Big crunch. Big flavor. Americas been waiting for. Verizon 5g is next level. Unlimited plans start at just 35, with entertainment the whole family will love. Switch now and save 700 on galaxy s20 plus. Only on verizon. If we pace ourselves, the holidays never have to end. Why is there a carrot in there . Tough news, thats your snowman. Mr. Snowball . Yeah. Are those his eyes . Go on lime, drink up your snowman. I drink him because i love him. And, to pace yourself so this aveeno® moisturizer goes beyond just soothing sensitive skin . Exactly jen calm restore oat gel is formulated with prebiotic oat. And strengthens skins moisture barrier. Uh i love it aveeno® healthy. Its our nature. ™ not yet. There he is. Mark lets go. Dont trip. Were gonna leave without ya. Dont spill those drinks. And we gotta get going. Yea buddy. Did you get extra napkins . Napkins . Lets go he forgot the napkins again . Theres a meal for every moment at mcdonalds. Especially when you buy one of your faves and get another for just a dollar. Is now even more powerful. The stronger, lastslonger energizer max. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight, a great chef, a good man, and the first celebrity to actually win a Million Dollars on who wants to be a millionaire . David chang is here. And later, his album is called southern symphony. Music from Russell Dickerson. Later this week, weve got new shows with george clooney, zendaya, rita wilson, amanda seyfred, diego luna, john mulaney, and well have music from tones and i, devon gilfillian, and paris jackson. Daughter of michael. Who is very talented. Our first guest tonight is an oscarwinning actor, a director, producer, activist, thunder goddess, and now bestselling Childrens Book author. Natalie portmans fables is available now. Please say hello to Natalie Portman. Hi, natalie. Hello. Held had oh. How are you . Jimmy im good. You are very far away from us. Arent you . I am, im down under. Jimmy yeah. Australia. Jimmy like, what time is it there, now . Its noon on tuesday. Jimmy oh. Its we are in december here. Jimmy oh, wow. Whats december going to be like . Give us a preview. Summer is starting, guys. Jimmy all right will. Its the opposite season wise over there. Well, it still feels like summer here really. How long have you been in australia . I have been here a few months, yeah, and im going to be here for a few more months for thor. Jimmy you are preparing to shoot thor, do you know everything that is happening in movie already . No. Jimmy you dont . No, no, very little. But just you know, trying to train, hook like a action figure at some point. Hopefully. Jimmy you know that in the comics your character, jane foster, becomes thor, she takes on the powers of thor andthe hammer and everything like that. Will you, do you know i know you cant say, do you know yes. Jimmy you will become thor . Yes, yes, the mighty thor. Jimmy the mighty thor. The Jane Foster Thor is called the mighty t y thor, yes. Jimmy especially when you have been riding a horse for a long time, and you say, on oh, im the mighty thor. Wait a minute. Jimmy we used to have a drummer we used to have a drummer. I dont know what happened, i think the covid got him. Theres no covid there in aus t in australia, is there . Its healthy and safe there . Yeah, the government has done a really, really incredible job at being yeah, its been three weeks with no local cases. Jimmy are you saying our government in the United States of america has not done a great job . Oh, no, i would never. I would never say anything like that. Jimmy thats kind of weird because you are, yeah, you are far away and you are living like normal people. Like they the used to live in the olden times. Yeah, it definitely feels like a time machine and very grateful to get the opportunity to live like that. Jimmy yeah, i bet. Did you celebrate thanksgiving american style there . Yeah, it is sort of like a aa celebration with acknowledgment of the history. The dark history of the country rather than the way i grew up doing it. But we certainly did enjoy the food of the holiday. Jimmy they do that because im like, yeah, these people came, they had hats with belt buckles on them, and now, here e we are. Did you cook a turkey or you are vegan, correct . Im vegan, yeah. Yeah, so, i found. I dont know if its australian or if i just discovered hit while here, theres a thing called suzanne spoon vegan butcher they have all the fake meat preparations so got some plant based schnitzel and that was our center piece of our meal. Jimmy really, someone cashed the someone carved the schnitzel in your thanksgiving . Very traditional. Jimmy what hs in the plant based sch nimnitzel. Unclear. Soy, not meat. Jimmy lets look at the picture that Chris Hemsworth posted on instagram. Great segue. Jimmy i think he has gained 40 pounds of muscle based on the photo, it does not look real. Its other worldly. I also like, i feel like im so unversed in what muscles do and how they get like that. Like, does the blood drain out of you when you use your muscles . Because it looks so white, doesnt it. Jimmy oh, yeah, his body is white, yeah. I feel like its a tshirt tan, right . Is that whats happening . Jimmy it looks like maybe, yeah. Oh, chris. We have to get you some spray tan. We have to help with the muscle pictures. Jimmy you know, we should get him a aaa card because he seems to be changing his tires by himself. Yes. He is looking good. Its a lot of pressure. Im going to look like his little grandma next to him. Jimmy are your kids enjoying being in australia . Yes, its very lucky. And so, so different like all the animals are different, the trees are different. The even the birds, i mean, like, theres multicolored parrots flying around like pigeons. Jimmy yeah. Its wild. Jimmy and they will kill you, those things, right . Everything is dangerous. Its actually not the like big things that are the Dangerous Things are like the little spiders. Jimmy yeah, the little spiders you have to watch out for. Are the kids picking up accents there . Kids seem to do that, right . More like, more words because you need to yeah like, you know, when you want Something Like they say lohlies now instead of candy. And tomato sauce instead of ketchup. When you want what you want you have to say it the way the locals do, you know . I would like tomato sauce with my chips. Sn. Jimmy yeah, well yeah the kids are learning. You dont want to get beat up. They are very flexi