Thats very nice, thank you. Hi. Im jimmy, im the host. Thank you for watching. Thank you for joining us. Im glad you did. You picked a good night to be here, thats for sure. Can you feel the Atomic Energy in the room . [ laughter ] all the way from los alamos, the oscarnominated cast of oppenheimer, cillian murphy, emily blunt, and Robert Downey jr. Are here. [ cheers and applause ] and dont worry, they left the Nuclear Waste known as matt damon at home. [ cheers and applause ] he will not be here. [ rim shot ] we dont let just anyone in here. This isnt a dunkin commercial. [ laughter ] in washington, d. C. , our worst and dimmest gathered for the annual cpac convention. Cpac, for those who dont know, is a meeting of the rightwing nuttiest republicans. Remember in ghostbusters when all the slime was running to one building . [ laughter ] basically that. Its a whos who of who wont accept the results of the election. The speakers every year are your standard collection of roger stones and sloppy steves and flat earthers. With a few foreign dictators and accused sexual predators sprinkled in. [ laughter ] the bigly name today, the headliner was trumps daughterinlaw, lara, who is running for chairperson of the rnc and really has a way with the english language. Never forget, ladies and gentlemen, it is always darkest before the don. Don, darkest before the don. See what i did . Jimmy yeah, yeah, they dont but we do, we get it. [ laughter ] anyway, go on. I want my son to be proud of who he is. I want him to know that its okay to be a patriot. Its okay to love god. And it is okay to grow up into a strong, masculine man. Jimmy thats right. Strong, masculine man. Just like daddy is. [ laughter ] look at the rack on that dude. Every night, eric and i have a tradition. We stop whatever we have going on and we go do bedtime with the kids. And while they say their prayers and the pledge of allegiance, of course jimmy what a sweet memory for your children to share with their therapist years from now. [ laughter ] she sounds like something that would give you away as a foreign agent. [ in russian accent ] then we do prayers and pledge good allegiance to american flag. All right, boris, youre coming with us. [ laughter ] the trumps, every night they brush the childrens teeth with hot dogs and read them the lyrics to kid rock, and they go to bed, they sleep like babies. Speaking of bedtime, dr. Ben carson was also at cpac. While peaceful prolife protesters and patriotic grandmothers who walked into the capitol on january the 6th are facing a decade or more in prison, think about that. Think about that. Jimmy thats his im in a dream speech. [ laughter ] they should put his face on a box of sleepytime tea. [ laughter ] not only is cpac a chance for people in red, white and blue track suits to see their favorite con artists in person. Its also a chance to learn at seminars run by the best in the business. Ladies and gentlemen, up next putting our heads in the gas stove. Please welcome former administrator of the Environmental Protection agency, andrew wheeler. Jimmy thats a real title. [ laughter ] of a session. Putting our heads in the gas stove. People signed up to see that. There are a lot of weird discussions at this convention. We thought it might be fun to see if you can tell the real ones from the fake. Its time to play, real or fake cpac session. [ cheers and applause ] im going to read the name of a panel. You guess if its real or fake. Ready . Real or fake cpac session. Would moses go to harvard . [ audience shouting ] jimmy most say real and it is real. It is real. [ applause ] straight white extinction. Is that real or fake . [ audience shouting ] jimmy lets see. That one is fake. Well try another. What you talkin bout fani willis . [ audience shouting ] jimmy most everyone says fake. That is real. Tinkerbell culture are fairytales making our kids fairies . [ audience shouting ] jimmy real . All right, well, sorry that one is actually fake. Illegally blonde. Real or fake . [ audience shouting ] that is real. Cat fight michelle vs. Kamala. Real or fake . [ audience shouting ] you say its fake . Guess what, its real. Jagged little pillow the rise of mike lindell. Real or fake . [ audience shouting ] jimmy that is indeed fake. Were going to get back to mike in a minute. He might be in more trouble than donald trump right now. Although donald trump his magasty is scheduled to be the headliner at cpac on saturday. Last night she showed part two of trumps fox news town hall during which he was asked about the notable absence of his future exwife, melania, on the campaign trail. She loves the country. When i do rallies, i have so many signs, we love our first lady. The people love her. They love the fact that shes not out there so much. A lot of first ladies, they want to be everywhere. They get angry at their husband because hes not introducing them. If i didnt introduce melania, shed be very happy about it. [ laughter ] jimmy in other words, you will not be seeing melania any time soon. [ laughter ] i actually got a shoutout from donald trump today. Every time i do an interview now, people ask me how much longer im going to do the show. I was talking to the l. A. Times. And i said i didnt know if i would go beyond i have a contract for another two years if i would go beyond that. This apparently caught the attention of americas most famous tangerine who truthed they could get a far more talented person, who would also get better ratings, for 5 of what they are paying this loser with a capital l. And ive got to say thats a hell of a way to find out youre not going to be somebodys running mate. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i hope he never finds out, he has no idea how delighted i am by Something Like this. [ laughter ] im going to try to enjoy it because he probably wont be able to do this when they take away his phone in prison. [ laughter ] im really going to soak it in. Meanwhile, President Biden touched down in San Francisco last night, and everyone hold your breath. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there we go. Every time i watch biden go down a flight of stairs, i get the same anxiety you get when you watch your kid try to catch a pop fly. [ laughter ] biden, by the way, just canceled another 1. 2 billion in student loan debt. [ cheers and applause ] which is a huge, huge number. Especially for someone who went to college when tuition cost a sack of onions. [ laughter ] the big story about biden today is about his dog. Have you heard about this . [ cheers ] according to cnn this is not a whoo type of situation. [ laughter ] joe bidens german shepherd, commander, was involved in far more biting incidents than was previously reported. Turns out, commander bit secret Service Agents 24 times. [ audience moaning ] which mean, even o. J. Only struck twice. [ laughter ] 24 times is a lot. Are we sure this was the dog, and not hunter turning into a werewolf . [ laughter ] since biden became president , there have been 24 full moons. [ laughter ] it got so bad, they had to send the dog to live with other members of the family. Its not at the white house anymore. You know, the Trump Administration actually had to deal with a similar thing after multiple Staff Members reported being bitten on and about the neck by rudy giuliani. [ laughter ] did they had to send him away. They had to put an extra lock on his coffin. Just to be safe. Our old pillow pal, mike lindell, is having a terrible black history month. [ laughter ] its all kind of falling apart for mike. He even claims his autobiography is being banned. Do you know my book is banned in every bookstore in the country . Jimmy no, i didnt know that. [ laughter ] but i thought you guys were for banning books. Which is it . Its confusing. [ laughter ] this memoir of his has been out since 2019. So it wouldnt make much sense if it was in bookstores. Its five years old. It wasnt exactly the da vinci code. And the venn diagram of people who are, a, interested in mike lindell, and b, know how to read, its a pretty small intersect. [ laughter ] in fact, it might only be one person. And that person is me. [ laughter ] i read his book covertocover. By the way, pretty good. Pretty interesting. I liked it. And then theres the illadvised contest he ran. Do you remember the prove mike wrong challenge . Three years ago, mike offered five Million Dollars to anyone who could definitively prove that he was wrong about chinese interference in the 2020 election. Of course, someone did that, almost immediately. A guy was like, sure, i have a free halfhour, and he proved it. And now mike has been ordered to pay him the five million bucks. Theyre trying to put trump, you, and rudy in bankruptcy. You might all see the news this morning. Another ruling came out of minnesota against me. 5 million. Which got to go to another appeal. A big distraction. Waste more money. Jimmy poor mike. He still cant believe its not butter. [ laughter ] hes that adamant about his beliefs. The ruling was handed down by judge john tunheim who is a very wellrespected judge. He got his law degree from jiffy pop haircut university. [ laughter ] not only was it a blow to mike financially. It also does not bode well for his new, prove there aint a little man inside the atm handin out the money contest. [ laughter ] and yet, still, mike is out there screaming about the machines and promoting fellow election deniers. Like this guy who is running for congress in arizona. Damn durn birds are so darned angry howdy, im mike lindell. Patriot, entrepreneur, and owner of a boat thats got ransacked nine times by minnesota game wardens. Blake masters is an author, a scholar, and a real man who aint afraid to tell a woman to shut her yap about equal pay. Thanks, toots. A slice of lemon meringue, too. Its the forbidden pie. B. M. Is a heck of a good one. Hes endorsed by donald trump, a man i love, even though im no longer allowed to get within 500 feet of him. Why, he briefly supports the russian president volodymyr putin. Me and blake really see eye to eye when he says the unabomber was an underrated genius. Im a big fan of that guys manifesto. Read it every time im driving. Ted didnt trust the government and hated machines, just like me. So vote for blake mcmaster peters and join the fight against gays marrying our kids and paying lady broads like a man worker. Wheres that durn waitress with the paid for by the commission to keep arizona a punchline forever. Merengue im Blake Masters and i approve this message. Sir, i love you. [ laughter ] jimmy right. [ cheers and applause ] weve got a great show for you tonight. Comedian rory scovel is here. And well be right back with the cast of oppenheimer. [ cheers and applause ] cillian murphy, emily blunt, and Robert Downey jr. When your gut is out of balance, your body gives you signs. So if youre frustrated with occasional bloating. [stomach noises] gas. Or abdominal discomfort. Help stop the frustration and start taking align every day. Align probiotic was specifically designed by gastroenterologists to help relieve your occasional digestive upsets. So you can enjoy life. When you feel the signs, its time to try align. Who says you cant go for bold without going broke. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. Tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. [traffic noise] [text message] lets ace this thing i got you coffee. Oh my god, what . You literally read my mind. Got you, girl. Its hard to run a business on your own. Make it easier on yourself. With shopify, you can have your inventory, payments, and customers in sync across all the places you sell. Start your journey with a free trial today. [cars honking] im a guy who lost a bet. And my dignity. Get out of the way as if watching my team lose wasnt punishment enough. What are you looking at huh. Its a one speed. Hahaha. Hahaha. And if you have cut rate Car Insurance, odds are youll be paying for that yourself. So, get allstate and be better protected from mayhem. Like me. Hey, im walking here the will states that mr. Marbles will receive everything he needs in perpetuity thanks to autoship from chewy. I always loved that old man. And he gets the summer house. What . Save 35 off your first autoship order. At chewy. Out of the billions thatve walked this globe, here we stand, our spirits have been charged with being the pioneers of this new frontier, what a time to be alive. Marshalls buyers hustle for the latest trends, from fashion. Double denim is back. Got it to beauty, so you dont have to. That is a deal we get the deals, you get the good stuff. Marshalls. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, there, welcome back. Tonight, a very funny man. He has a new standup comedy special called religion, sex, and a few things in between. Rory scovel is with us. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, well be joined by selena gomez and from the bear, ebon mossbachrach. Both of them will be with us then. Our first guests tonight are a talented trio from ireland, england, and americaland. Each oscarnominated for their roles in the explosive Christopher Nolan epic oppenheimer. Which is nominated for a lot of oscars. Can you explain Quantum Mechanics to me . Seem iss baffles. Yes, it is. Well, this glass. This drink. This countertop. Our bodies. All of it. Its mostly empty space. Groupings of tiny energy waves bound together. By what . Forces of attraction Strong Enough to convince us that matter is solid. To stop my body passing through yours. [ cheers and applause ] Jimmy Oppenheimer is in theaters and on peacock now. Please welcome cillian murphy, emily blunt and Robert Downey jr. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome. [ cheers and applause ] well, this is a treat. Thank you all for coming together. Dare i say this may be the most sophisticated panel weve ever had here at the show . Really . I didnt know you were running a panel show. Jimmy yes, we made some changes. The president feels that some changes are needed in the show. Well, its great to have you here. Thank you for coming. Thanks for having us. Jimmy this is a movie that you know, did you ever see that billboard on la cienega, how many hours until oppenheimer comes out . It started like 15,000 hours. It would count down backwards. I thought, well, i wont be alive to see this when it comes out. [ laughter ] but eventually it will come out. I dont want to say youre wrong right away. I was going to wait a minute. [ laughter ] but the countdown is actually to the anniversary of the trinity test. I, too, thought it was when the movies coming out because all i can think about is movies. Chris nolan actually had the clock ticking down to the anniversary of, ill say it again, the trinity test. I like the way you said trinity. I didnt know that, interesting. [ laughter ] i have one fan in the audience. Jimmy so chris nolan spent who knows how many tens of thousands of dollars on a billboard that in no way promoted this film. [ laughter ] interesting. High level. Jimmy here we are. Thats what this panels about. [ laughter ] jimmy you guys have been doing i know youve been doing q as, been at a lot of the awards shows whatnot. I just want to ask robert, i want to ask you something. Youve been having a good time at emilys expense. You said the following. You said, ignore emily, she ate a bad clam last night at one q a. Ignore emily, shes tripping on mushrooms at another. Be easy on emily, shes had a few margaritas. Emilys peaking on a weed gummy right now. Ignore emily, shes wearing a zpack of rash cream. No, listen. Heres the thing. This is going to be such lowhanging fruit. Ive lost my voice. I sound like ive been raving. I could be on a weed gummy, for all we know. [ laughter ] how did you lose your voice . Because i was screaming at you to take a zpack to your chlamydia. [ laughter ] [ applause ] its like that. He would do this to me before every very serious q a about this very important movie. Jimmy uhhuh . It just kind of set the right tone. Jimmy now you actually have something. Now i actually have lost my voice, yeah. Jimmy i mentioned this long leadup. Then you guys, correct me if i have this wrong, on the premiere, at the premiere in london, it just so happened to be right when the Writers Strike started. Yeah. Jimmy you guys got up and left in solidarity with the strike. [ applause ] you left the premiere. We all know actors never leave a premiere. They always stay for the whole movie, right . For sure. I think where did you go, cillian . In true irish fashion, i went to the bar. [ cheers and applause ] we went to the bar in solidarity. Yeah. Jimmy did you go to the bar together in solidarity . I think a few of us went. Even this one went. Which normally, when downey goes to a party afterwards, you will do this thing what do you say when you proclaim that youre about to lead . I say, tminus three minutes. Then he vaporizes, he leaves so fast. [ laughter ] jimmy countdown to the trinity test happens, and hes gone. How long were you at the par . We stayed till 4 00 a. M. It was a good night, yeah. Jimmy that is a really good night. Yeah, those incredible eyes were like cookie monster by the end of the night. Jimmy was the thinking, now we dont have to get up in the morning and promote this movie . Correct. Jimmy yeah, wow. Made lemons out of lemonade there. Emily, i know you brought your parents to the baftas. I did. Jimmy your parents are lovely people. So cute. Jimmy were they how were they at the baftas . Honestly, so cute. It was the first time ive heard them give each other proper compliments in years. It was amazing. Dad was like, darling, you look absolutely gorgeous to my mom. Jimmy thats not typical . Moms like, you look very trim, very handsome. Jimmy have they been at these awards shows with you . No, i think they came to the baftas years and years and years ago. They were great company. Thrilled to meet people. You went with my mom in an argentine tango. I saw her, were going to dance. She was thrilled. Jimmy i bet, sure. She met gosling. That was it. That was it. Jimmy interesting. I bumped into him on the carpet, would you ever say hello to my parents . Afterwards she goes, you know, you look really great in that white suit. And i was like, hose yourself off. [ laughter ] jimmy well, hes hard to resist. True. Jimmy i mean, certainly. So i think correct me, again, if i have anything wrong. This is your first time working with Christopher Nolan . Yes. Jimmy you worked with Christopher Nolan on almost all his movies, right . I think Michael Caine