[ cheering ] justin thank you thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Okay. All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Jimmy Kimmel Live im going to be your host tonight, Justin Timberlake. [ cheering ] yes. Now, you all might know me from being Justin Timberlake. Did you watch the oscars last night . [ cheering ] really good, right . I mean, i havent seen that many stars since joey fatone elbowed me in the face. Rim shot thank you. All right. This is going good. All right. The show was hosted by my friend and your friend, jimmy kimmel. Didnt he do a great job . [ cheering ] unfortunately, jimmy couldnt be here tonight. As you can imagine, hes pretty beat. [ cheering ] jimmy i am here. I am here. Thanks, everybody. I am here. You know, i was supposed to be here. Justin yeah, yeah. Im confused. Why are you here . Jimmy well, im confused. Why are you here . Justin im the guest host. Jimmy no, youre the musical guest. Why would i need a host . Justin because you were out all night at the oscar party. Jimmy not really. I went to one party and then went to bed. Justin oh. Thats so sad. Jimmy it is . Justin yeah. Jimmy oh, okay. Well, any way, thank you. I can take it from here. Justin are you sure . I had a whole monologue planned. I was going to do a president ial debate rap battle where i play trump and biden. Youre a loser. Come on man jimmy that sounds really good. You want to do the rest of that . Justin actually, thats all i had. Jimmy oh. Justin but, i was going to do it for you. Jimmy thank you very much. You know youve always, always since the beginning, youve always been my favorite justin. Justin oh, thank you. And since the beginning, youve always been my second favorite jimmy. Jus jimmy good job. Justin im going to see you later . Justin guillermo, lets go. Jimmy guillermo, you stay here with me. You dont go. I have to bring sexy back, you understand, right . [ cheering ] well see justin later. Hi, everybody. Thank you. [ cheering ] we have fun, right . What night is tonight . Monday . What night were the oscars . Was that last night . Im a little bit of a daze. Somebody handed me a shot of don hul julio in the middle of the oscars last night. I hosted the oscars. We had a lot of fun. Its always an honor to be asked to host an event i would otherwise not be invited to. I got home late, im tired, im mad that we still have Daylight Saving time. Im so mad. Ive been mad about it for 28 hours now. But i am a professional. So here i am to do the show. And people keep asking me today and last night [ cheering ] they keep asking what my favorite moment of the night was, and there are a lot of them. But if i had to pick the one moment that tickled me most, it was probably hearing Arnold Schwarzenegger say the word godzilla. godzilla. Jimmy im not sure you got that. Lets hear that one more time. Godzilla. Jimmy yes. Its like half godzilla, half lasagna. Which would be a great movie by the way, godzilla vs lasagna . Some of the other highlights the ken song was great. Al pacino giving best picture to oppenheimer and john cena. Who, we wanted to do something to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the oscar streaker. You remember the guy that ran make across the stage. So i asked john cena to present the oscar for best costume design. With no clothes on. Just an envelope in front of him. And he was very funny. But getting this on the air of all the times ive hosted the oscars or the emmys or anything, no comedy bit has ever received more scrutiny than this. There were meetings, there were sidemeetings, there were emails and texts. There were phone calls, there were people sweating. Somebody was crying. And then, once they realized we werent going to take no for an answer, there were intense discussions about the size of the envelope, and whether we needed to velcro it to his body. We had to fill his crack and have socks and various testicalia. Was discussed. Every network has what we call an S P Department which stands for scrotum penis. interest scrotum and penis department. This is the envelope they wanted us to use. Its too big. They kept demanding we make the envelope bigger and bigger, which, well, first i have to say congratulations to john cena. [ applause ] the commotion you caused. Very rarely does an idea literally push the envelope, and this one did. So then we tape everything down, we glue everything that can be glued, and when it comes time for him to walk out. Live, by the way, theres no way to edit this. The executives were terrified. This is what it looked like in the control room when john cena walked out on stage. It had that level of intensity. But i want to thank john for being such a good sport. And i want to apologize for nearly killing our department of standards and practices last night. A lot of people work very hard to make a show like the oscars happen. Dogs work very hard on this show too. The dog you are about to see, is the breakout star of the movie, anatomy of a fall. This is how he ended the show. Such a good boy, a really good boy. Messi flew all the way in from france to do that. Our plan was to have him sitting in the audience through the whole monologue. But it turns out we did a rehearsal. The dog was barking like crazy the whole time, because he is a dog, which was making it hard to tell jokes. It was really funny. It was like wed released a dozen squirrels into the theater. At one point, i thought, the hell with it, lets just let the dog bark through the show. But it wouldnt have been great during, like, the inmemoriam montage. So instead of having messi live in the audience, we pretaped some action shots, including this one after Robert Downey jr. Won guest supporting actor. Avery x in india, this ones for you jimmy we wanted to just have messi clapping. Turns out its impossible to train a dog to clap. So one of our propmasters donny wu, made a couple of dog legs. And he was under. Thats the movie magic, the tv magic. Thanks to messi and donny. One of the delightful things about hosting the oscars is how mad people get about the most dumbest things. I made a joke about the transformer movie, and this was very upsetting to a subgroup of people who wrote things like jimmy kimmel just made an enemy of every transformers fan. shut up you fing moron. jimmy kimmel shut the f up about transformers you dirty old nasty bitch ass man. transformers fandom hereby designates jimmy kimmel an enemy of the state. Come on. Thats got to be the mountain dew red code talk. And thats not but i do want to and i apologize. I assumed you guys would be busy masturbating to watch the oscars. I am deeply apologetic to the transformers community. Meanwhile, while you fools are focused on me, the decepticons are planning their next evil deed speaking of decepticons. There was one prominent american who did not enjoy the show last night and let it be known on social media toward the end of the telecast. Donald trump, remember that guy . Wrote has there ever been a worse host than jimmy kimmel at the oscars. His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be. This is also his wedding toast to his son eric, by the way. I dont take too much offense. And then he went into a thing about george stephanopoulos. And told them to fire me. So after the show, almost everyone i ran into was asking me, was that real . Of course it was real. And it kind of tells you all you need know about donald trump. He wrote this because he was upset i didnt mention him on the show. And no one mentioned him on the show. He wasnt getting any attention. He couldnt stand it. And so then the Adderall Mcflurry kicked in and he went right at it. I wasnt planning to mention him at all. We were backstage, the show was almost over, and one of our writers showed me the post. And i had no choice. To quote al pacino, just when i thought i was out, they pull me back in, and i had to read it. But any way. Funny. We had john cena on stage naked, and somehow trump still managed to be the biggest dick of the night. [ cheering ] guillermo, did you have fun at the oscars . We lost you at the oscars at the party afterwards. We went in together. That was the last i saw you. Guillermo it was a long day. I had a little too much tequila. Jimmy did you go home or stumble into slashs top hat . What happened to you . Guillermo no, i went home, jimmy. I was tired. Jimmy before guillermo disappeared he full filled his annual duties on the red carpet, chatting with the stars at the 96th oscars. Its oscar night, its oscar night, oscar night, its oscar night guillermo what are you wearing . Im wearing dolce gabbana. Guillermo oh, dolce and cabana . With a g. Guillermo you know what im wearing . Target with a t. You know how they say oppenheimer in spanish . No, i dont. Guillermo oppenheimer. You were in the movie private parts, right . Yeah. Guillermo what is your favorite private part . The main one. The main unit is my favorite one. My own. Guillermo you have a name for it . I dont call it anything. It goes nameless. He is a man of mystery. Guillermo look, if acting doesnt work for you, what is your fallback career . My fallback career . I dont have one. You do. Guillermo will you think of me in your next movie . Why not . Guillermo good. I think i like it when i see you the shirt like that. Guillermo all right. It has my resume in the back. Oh, good. Guillermo thank you very much. Thank you. Guillermo you have a speech if you win . Its up here, i think. I didnt write anything down because i worried that that would be make me too sad. Guillermo here, i have a speech for you. Apply ointment to affected area twice. Guillermo oh, no, no, no sorry. Mr. Tim cook, how can i get my iphone connected to bluetooth . How can i get my phone connected to bluetooth . How you . How are you doing . Can you help me . Oh my god. Apple Customer Service is terrible im going to party at jimmys house. Oh, yeah . Guillermo he is not going to be there. Oh, sick. Lets tear his [ bleep ] house apart. Guillermo exactly. Thats what im talking about. Oscar keggers at Jimmy Kimmels house tonight. Guillermo yeah, tonight. He is not going to be there. So you have a taco truck too . Guillermo i have a taco truck, a bouncing castle. Yeah, yeah. Should i hand it out to anybody or just me . Guillermo this is for us. Give it to margot robbie. Killian killian arianna, how you . Emma stone . Emma, emma i got one question, ryan, ryan, why are you so sexy . How are you . One question, greta, what are you wearing . Gucci guillermo she say douche. Carey, carey, mark, mark, mark, mark how you . No one wants to talk to me. I dont know why. Chris hey, one, quick how are you . Guillermo here, for you. Good luck i love you. Guillermo its like looking in a mirror. Oh my god. Are you nervous . Yes. Guillermo oh, yeah . I have something for you to relax you. Is it a tequila shot . Guillermo yeah. Wooee guillermo we got to be classy about it. You squint when you do it. Guillermo like this. Its mexican style. To friendship. Guillermo to friendship. Love everything you done and that weve done every year. I didnt say i love you. But i love all the. I dont know i love you yet. Too much because the cameras are rolling. Guillermo cheers. Love you. Heres to flexibility. Guillermo you say flexibility . Yeah. Guillermo thank you. See you over there. Yes you know what . This is one of my favorites. Mm. My favorite guillermo my favorite too. Oh, that is really good. Yow guillermo oh, my gosh. La cucaracha guillermo this is the good stuff. Smooth. Right on. How many shots have you taken already . Guillermo a lot. Like 17, 90. Charlize, its me guillermo, how are you . Wheres my shot . Guillermo listen, right here. I have it for you. Thats huge. Guillermo lets play barbie real quick. No, im only here for the drinking. Justin listen, can we take off the head . Stop it stop it guillermo yes. Oh my god. How many people drank from this. Be honest. Guillermo no one. Youre the first one. Oh my god, i love you. Cheers [ applause ] guillermo wow. Now im ready for the oscars. Guillermo thank you so much. Good luck. I love you too. Take care. Bye, baby. Guillermo oh my god she made my day. Wow thats my wife. Thats my wife. Jimmy beautifully done, guillermo. Guillermo, everybody. We have a great show. Justin timberlake is here. Well be back with dwayne the rock johnson. Lou abcs Jimmy Kimmel Live brought to you by allstate. Jimmy well, hello there and welcome back. Tonight one of the alltime greats, he is a twotime oscar winner, the one and only Robert De Niro is with us. Then later, another hall of famer, he is a tentime grammy winner, with a new album, called everything i thought it was, it comes out friday, music from Justin Timberlake. [ cheering ] we are very hard at work with new shows this week. Guests including Michael KeatonAnthony Anderson ramy youssef Natalie Emmanuel the one and only, Oprah Winfrey will be joining us this week. Along with music from warren zyders, Briston Maroney and chromeo. Please join us for all that. Our first guest tonight is that rare movie star who also keeps our world safe from jabronis he has a whole fannypack full of his new line of skincare products called papatui. Please say hello to dwayne the rock johnson. [ cheering and applause ] jimmy how you . I like you in the glasses. You look like professor the rock. Thank you, yes. Thats a little intelligence. Thank you. Jimmy how was your oscar night . You presented with bad bunny. With bad bunny. It was great. It was his birthday, yesterday, so happy belated to bad bunny. Jimmy bad bunny and the rock sounds like a disney show. Yes, yes. Or a bad trip that you dont want to go on. Jimmy did you meet anybody that you hadnt met that you were excited about . You know what . It was really cool. Thats the fun part about the oscar. You get to see all your old friends, get to meet new friends. When i was backstage, i ran into a whole bunch of hollywood icons that i had never met before. Jimmy like who . Like al pacino. Jimmy oh, you metal. That was the first time i met him, awesome. Great to meet him, give him a hug, give him a kiss. He said i love you work, rock thank you. Of course i love yours too. Met sam rockwell, he is awesome, one of my favorite actors. We talked about hey, lets Work Together one day. Met sally field. [ cheering ] i said im so sorry to interrupt, i have to give you a big hug. She said you better come in here and give me the biggest hug. It was awesome. It was great â– tosee verybody. Jimmy the first time i hosted the oscars was in 2017. And you were in one of the front seats. And that was the night the infamous night of the mixup. The mixup at the end. Jimmy and there is a photograph of you. Have you seen this photograph . There is a photograph of you. And if we can zoom in, we can see. There you are. Meryl streeps right here. And you actually look troubled. Look, i in this moment, you know how when something becomes really surreal, even in this crazy makeup world of hollywood, it was at the end there, i thought that oh, is someone purposefully trying to sabotage this moment . So this was a little do i need to get up here and take care. Luckily i didnt, because i would have been arrested. Jimmy i would have gladly let you be the one who went up there and figured it out. But it was a crazy moment. Jimmy it was was. I had a crazy moment with you last night. It was kind of weird. Coming off the stage with a partially nude john cena. Yes. Jimmy and were going through this little alley, and then there is you and john cena. I feel like i might be wrestling near a second. I thought about it afterwards. You really missed an opportunity to promote wrestlemania by attacking each other in that moment on a folding chair, a smash, Something Like that. A half naked john cena isnt the guy who i want to attack in that moment. Jimmy you want him fully naked . [ laughter ] i need him fully naked before i attack him. That was his joke, by the way. Jimmy i wasnt kidding i think this is really interesting, because and you know this. Youre one of the most well loved people in the world. Thank you. Jimmy yes. Thank you. Jimmy and yet, you have in the wrestling world gone back to being a heel, being a villain in the thing, to the point where you are actually antagonizing people in the local cities that you visit. Yes. Jimmy this is your visit to phoenix, arizona. And how you greeted. Phoenix, arizona, by the way, before you show it, i did a little research. And what im saying is the truth. Jimmy it is true. I looked it up too take a look. The number one city in america for cocaine and meth use is phoenix, arizon finally, you cactus loving crackheads finally have something worth shooting in your veins. [ laughter i mean jimmy you cactusloving crackheads. Cactusloving crackheads. It is the best to go back to wwe in this rock 10. 0 version where i can become a heel and say the things that people want to say. Jimmy they still love you after you say them. And i went in, and its a number one city and you cactusloving crackheads. And what i also said was and every woman in here wants to go oneonone with the rock. And all the women go crazy. And i said now settle down, you crackhead karens and then they all cheered again. They were like yay jimmy all right. Settle down, you crackhead karens. Dwayne the rock johnson is here. Well be right back. Lou portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by allstate. Save money and protect yourself from mayhem with allstate. Thanks to skyrizi im playing with clearer skin. 3 out of 4 people achieved 90 clearer skin at 4 months. And skyrizi is just 4 doses a year after 2 starter doses. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. With skyrizi, nothing on my skin means everything nothing is everything ask your dermatologist about skyrizi. Learn how abbvie could help you save. music plays throughout another round . Im good. Lets do a song are living in the moment and taking ibrance. Ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor is for adults with hr positive, her2 negative Metastatic Breast Cancer as the first hormonal based therapy. Ibrance plus letrozole significantly delayed disease progression versus letrozole. Ibrance may cause low white blood cell counts that may lead to serious infections. Ibrance may cause severe inflammation of the lungs. Both of these can lead to death. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening chest pain, cough, or trouble breathing. Before taking ib