Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20171021

[ laughter and applause ] according to cnn, after the candidate he was backing for the Alabama Special Senate election lost, President Trump was quote, pissed and embarrassed. Incidentally, pissed and embarrassed is also the title of his Russian Hotel tape. [ cheers and applause ] stick around for embarrassed. According to reports trumps soninlaw and Senior Adviser Jared Kushner is registered as a female voter in new york. [ light laughter ] to be fair, he did register over the phone. [ highpitched voice ] hello, id like to register. [ laughter ] well, okay. Let me say, you have a beautiful voice, maam. [ light laughter ] while discussing the Corporate Tax rate today President Trump said that 20 is his ideal number and he is not negotiating that number, which is the same thing he says when he orders chicken mcnuggets. [ laughter ] a new poll has found that education secretary betsy devos is the least popular member of President Trumps cabinet with a 28 approval rating. Or as she calls it, this many. [ laughter and applause ] a new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their partners voice especially when their voice says, oh, youre home early [ laughter ] so happy to see you. [ light laughter ] and finally it was reported today that Justin Timberlake may perform at the super bowl in february, and that the jets will not. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. From abcs modern family one of our favorites, Sofia Vergara is here tonight, how about that . [ cheers and applause ] he is the star of the new comedy on fox, ghosted, hes a very funny guy, Craig Robinson is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and shes a fantastic writer, shes a fantastic comedian, shes on hulus Difficult People, Julie Klausner is joining us as well. [ cheers and applause ] so, weve talked about tonight show this week, last sunday what happened with the anthem protests, what happened with trumps criticism of players who kneel during the National Anthem. And its led me to reflect on my relationship with football, and more importantly, my relationship with the Pittsburgh Steelers who i deeply, deeply love. I love the steelers so much that im fairly embarrassed by it. I think about them way too much. They effect my emotions way too much. Whats really embarrassing, i am not from pittsburgh. [ light laughter ] my dad is from pittsburgh and one of the things he ingrained in my brother and i was this love for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Heres how much my dad loves the Pittsburgh Steelers. If sometimes my dad will say, hey, i have a friend and he wants to come to the show. Can you get him a couple tickets . And i always do that, and then afterwards ill go back and talk to that person, and one of the things i always say is, hey, how do you know my dad . And at least once a month, that person will say to me, oh, i was wearing a steelers hat at a restaurant and he [ laughter ] he just walked over and started talking to me. [ light laughter ] and then they talk long enough that it ends with them getting tickets to the show. [ light laughter ] and thats great. Thats what i love about football, really a sports of any team. Is that you connect with strangers. You feel an emotional connection. I also love that because football doesnt really matter, it allows you to have a real emotion about fake things. For example, because im a steelers fan i hate the patriots. Now, i dont really hate the patriots. I just fake hate them for sports reasons, but i really hate the patriots. [ laughter ] but you know, i dont hate people who like the patriots. For example, our cue card wally he loves the patriots, and i love wally. Yeah, give it up for wally. [ cheers and applause ] even though i would say two to three days a week he wears a patriots shirt, as if to mock me. [ light laughter ] we had an actual patriot on our show, julian edelman. Heres a photo of him. He was just a lovely guy. We had a wonderful time. He gave me a patriots hat, which i promptly threw in the garbage. [ light laughter ] thats not true. Wally asked me for it and i told wally buy your own [ bleep ] hat. [ laughter ] and then i threw it in the garbage, but [ light laughter ] but the thing is, i hate the patriots, but also i dont, but i really do. [ light laughter ] and i also love the steelers so much that i love the players. I genuinely love, again this is all irrational. I understand this is all irrational. I love players that ive never met, that ive never spoken to, but i will say, what i realized this week is because i love these players it would be crazy for me not to want to hear what they wanted to express, the actual feelings they had as human beings. It would be crazy to just love them as players and not the humanity of them. So for me, you know, when someone uses their platform to peacefully protest something important to them, i have a great deal of respect for that. Now, a lot of people are saying there is a better time and place than during the National Anthem at a Football Game to protest, but the thing about protests is you do them at a time where the maximum amount of people Pay Attention to them. And thats why it is the right time to talk about something thats important to you. No one you never hear someone say like, we should protest. Where . Quietly, in my parents basement. [ light laughter ] [ whispering ] what do we want . Equality. [ light laughter ] when do we want it . Now. What are you two doing down there . Ah uh, the pledge of allegiance. [ light laughter ] the steelers whats interesting about the steelers is they have a player on their team who is an army veteran. He actually served in afghanistan. His name Alejandro Villanueva and hes a really interesting person to listen to this week. Or at least i found him interesting to listen to, because he was both, you know, in the army and hes now on a Football Team. And something that he seems to understand that President Trump doesnt is that when a player takes a knee in silent, peaceful protest during the National Anthem, theyre protesting Racial Injustice, and theyre not saying anything about the troops. Theyre not saying anything about not loving this country. And i would think that when you have someone with that depth of experience of having lived in both those worlds, that would be somebody worth listening to. The other thing is, i think theres this idea that people like football more and sports and general, when theyre not complicated. But particularly with nfl football, nfl football didnt get complicated on sunday. Its been complicated for a while. I think in order to watch the nfl, in order to love it as much as i do, you have to get over a lot of things that are true about the sport. And so, because of that, you know its too late for me, im always going to love football, im always going to love the steelers, but i have a son now. And i have a chance to maybe not indoctrinate him the way my father indoctrinated me. I have not made that choice. [ light laughter ] im going all in. [ light laughter ] for example, i am in a three strike football pool. You basically pick one team every week and youre allowed to be wrong three times over the course of the season, and i decided to let my yearandahalf old son, ash, pick the teams this year. Now, obviously at 18 months, hes not great with what teams are better than others, so what i did was i bought 32 tiny plastic football helmets and i put them in a bag and once a week i try to get him to take one of them out and thats the pick. The only problem is i cannot, for the life of me, get him to only take out one helmet at a time as evidenced by this. Seth just one, just one. Ash. Just, give me one. Ash, give me one. Give dada one. Okay, it is the panthers. My football. [ light laughter ] seth oh, my god. Thank you. But it was the panthers. You gave me the panthers. I cannot tell you how much i love that, and the panthers lost so hes not even good at it. [ light laughter ] i should say that afterwards, i immediately packed them back up and i put them away and he lost his mind and my wife said, you have to let him play with them now. [ light laughter ] because of course to him they were just colorful pieces of plastic. He didnt see what it was like, gambling implications of it. [ light laughter ] so i guess the question is why with everything am i just full bore going in this world where i want my son to love football as much as i do . In 2005 my entire family, my parents, my brother, and i we went to the super bowl in detroit. The Pittsburgh Steelers, who had not won a super bowl for a very long time, won in the super bowl in 2005 and my dad, theres things called terrible towels which steelers fans wave at Football Games and my dad just started crying into the terrible towel. And of all the times ive seen my father cry, it is my favorite. Because, it is the only time ive seen my father cry. [ light laughter ] and i think about it all the time, and how happy it made me and how it is you know for us, and again its irrational. Im not saying theres any reason that anyone who isnt doing this should do it, but its become such a family thing and it means so much to me, so, you know, i would just say that things that are important to me, peaceful protest very important to me. I hope it stays around forever. I hope football stays around forever. I do think the nfl should get rid of the patriots. And im not alone in that. [ cheers ] theyre bad people. Theyre not, im just kidding, but theyre really awful. And wally you should be ashamed of yourself and buy your own [ bleep ] hat. [ light laughter ] but, i guess what im trying to say is im really looking forward to sunday. So, thank you guys so much for listening to me ramble on about football. [ cheers and applause ] moving on, this week has been a perfect microcosm of the trump era, as President Trump fanned the flames of cultural flashpoints, like the nfl protest. A darling of the far right, judge roy moore, won a gop Senate Primary in alabama. For more on this its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth trump of course began his feud with nfl players who peacefully protest Racial Injustice last week at a rally in alabama. In fairness, thats pretty much what you expect when you hear the words rally in alabama. [ light laughter ] nobody hears there was a rally in alabama, and goes, oh was it for transgender adoption rights . [ light laughter ] and yet, despite tweeting repeatedly about the nfl and the anthem, trump insists he isnt obsessed with it. Yesterday at a joint press conference with the Prime Minister of spain, he was asked if he was preoccupied with the issue while he should be focusing on puerto rico, and offered this very confusing, defense. To me the nfl situations a very important situation. Ive heard that before about was i preoccupied. Not at all. Not at all. I have plenty of time on my hands. All i do is work. Seth what . [ laughter ] you have plenty of time on your hands. All you do is work . One of those things cant be true. [ laughter ] thats like saying, i go on lots of dates. All i do is play grand theft auto. [ laughter ] but heres the thing, theres a reason trump is so much more interested in talking about the nfl than say, health care. And the reason is, trump knows nothing about policy. Take his response to the crisis in puerto rico. When he finally got around to talking about it on tuesday, trump made sure to do two things, claim credit for doing a great job, and demonstrate that he knows where puerto rico is, and even that he messed up. Weve worked very, very hard in puerto rico. Its very tough because its an island. In texas we can ship the trucks right out there and, you know, we can do weve gotten a pluses on texas and on florida, and we will also on puerto rico but the difference is this is an island, sitting in the middle of an ocean. And its a big ocean, its a very big ocean. Seth he sounds [ light laughter ] he sounds like a kid who forgot to work on his oral report and is just vamping waiting for the bell to ring. Puerto rico is in the ocean, which is a big ocean and salty. It is a big salty ocean. [ laughter and applause ] and their biggest export is come on, 3 00 but every time, trump feels the chill of a policy failure,he knows he can warm himself up by stoking the fires of racial resentment, and thats not unique to trump. Its a defining feature of the modern gop. And last nights Senate Primary in alabama is a perfect example of this. The winner of that primary is a guy name judge roy moore, seen here yesterday riding a horse to the polling booth to cast his vote. And when you see a judge roy moore riding a horse to the polls, its hard not to think, is this cnn or Turner Classic Movies . [ light laughter ] moore is a darling of the far right known for his many years of open bigotry and homophobia. He defied the Supreme Court decision legalizing samesex marriage, and hes also called for a muslim member of congress not to be seated because of his religion and said homosexual conduct should be illegal. Now, trump himself endorsed moores opponent, senator Luther Strange after repeated prodding from the gop establishment. But even trump seemed to know that his base was really much more in line with moore, because at a rally in alabama on friday to campaign for strange, trump actually admitted that in not endorsing moore, he mightve made a mistake. Im thrilled to be here with the really great person that ive gotten to know, Luther Strange. Luther strange knows the true source of americas strength, its god, its family, and its country. Were here tonight for Luther Strange. And i mightve made a mistake and ill be honest, i mightve made a mistake. Seth wow. Can you imagine trump giving your Football Team a halftime speech . Now, lets get out there and beat the lions, who are frankly a better team and i wish i was coaching them. [ light laughter ] panthers, on three. One, two, three, lions [ laughter and applause ] and after moore won last night, trump immediately offered his support and it makes sense that trump is now enthusiastically backing moore, because moore is very much cut from the same cloth as donald trump. He relies just as much on open bigotry as trump and seems to care just as little about actual policy as trump. Take the issue of daca, otherwise known as the dreamers program, which allows children brought here as undocumented immigrants to stay in the country. Youd think moore might want to have a position on that, but when he was asked about it recently on an alabama radio show he had no idea what it was. Would you support an end to the d. R. E. A. M. Er program that President Trump has still continued to push . Pardon . The d. R. E. A. M. Er program . Yes, sir. I have not the daca, dapa youre not aware of what d. R. E. A. M. Ers are . No. [ light laughter ] d. R. E. A. M. Ers this is a big issue no. In the immigration debate, d. R. E. A. M. Ers are why dont you tell me what it is, dale, and quit beating around, and tell me what it is. Im kind of shocked that you dont know what this is. What do you think about that . Well, if trumps done it, well, thats what trumps done. Do you support the ending of that program, that you didnt know existed . [ laughter ] well, i would look at that program, i surely would. Let me know what you think about that d. R. E. A. M. Er program when you learn about that. [ laughter ] seth who knew how sassy alabama radio hosts were . [ light laughter ] can you explain daca to me . Oh, you dacant . [ laughter ] like trump, moore cares very little about the nuances of policies that effect millions of peoples lives and cares much more about riling his base, through spectacle and grievance. Like on monday, when he appeared at a rally, in a vest and cowboy hat, and spoke about his support for the Second Amendment. Its been very hard for my wife and myself. To weather two, nearly three months of negative ads. That we couldnt answer with money, because we didnt have it. Why is that . Ads that were completely false. That i dont believe in the Second Amendment. I believe in the Second Amendment. [ cheers and applause ] seth thats right. The Second Amendment which apparently gives you the right to defend yourself against very tiny burglars. [ laughter ] took him a while to get it out. He couldnt find it in his pocket. Car keys . No. Moore and trump both appeal to their bases by fanning their resentments, and feeding their grievances. For example, moore said as recently as last year that he Still Believes the racist Conspiracy Theory popularized by trump that barack obama was not born in this country. And moore also believes there are towns in the u. S. Currently under sharia law, despite the fact that that is of course, completely divorced from reality. Heres the truly surreal exchange moore had with a reporter from the website vox, that makes him sound like an expert on daca. [ light laughter ] moore, there are communities under sharia law right now in our country up in illinois. Reporter, which American Communities are under sharia law . When did they fall under sharia law . Moore, well theres sharia law as i understand it, in illinois, indiana. Up there, i dont know. [ light laughter ] reporter, that seems like an amazing claim for a Senate Candidate to make. Moore, well, let me just put it this way, if they are, they are. If theyre not, theyre not. [ light laughter ] what the hell are you talking about . [ light laughter ] im starting to think that hat is covering up a massive head wound. [ laughter and applause ] my car kicked me in the head. [ applause ] so roy moore is now the gop nominee and frontrunner for a senate seat in alabama, and if he wins, he will join donald trump in making decisions about everything from your healthcare to National Security in washington. This is the modern republican party, although modern might be the wrong word. This is the current republican party. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Sofia Vergara everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Hey steve check out this guys leg. Yeah looks like a real nasty moving back in with his parents. What . No. I just broke my leg. No, this is a full blown move in to the basement, youre gonna be out of work without that money from. Aflac you might miss your rent. Aww i just moved out. Bummer man. Hey i used to have my own place. Yeah . No, no i live with my mom, but its cool. 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Works with steam to reveal glowing skin in just one minute. Aveeno® naturally beautiful results® watch this watch this watch this watch this [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] seth also, sitting in with us tonight, hes one of the most versatile drummers in the world, and currently plays with ringo starr and his all starr band. Ringo and the band are about to begin a fall tour, which kicks off october 13th at Planet Hollywood in las vegas. Gregg bissonette, everybody. Thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you, seth. Great to be here. Thank you. Seth you know our first guest tonight from her work as gloria, on the hit series, modern family, which just began its ninth season on abc. New episodes air wednesday nights. Lets take a look. Dont rock in this thing so much. I am getting sea sick. Well you poor thing. Maybe if you would oh cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. Calfs cramping up. Calfs cramping up. Gloria, i need you to rub my calf. No, im not going to touch that water. Gloria, im in so much pain, you got to put a little pressure on it. Put a little pressure on the calf. Okay, fine. I cant get it. Move it. Ahh im in the lake seth please welcome back to the show, Sofia Vergara, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]tu seth hi, sofia. Im good. Thank you for having me again. Seth im so happy to have you here. I want to talk to you about the steelers very briefly. I mean, already . Thats all you care about, huh . Seth it is. It is. Its on my mind. Its like, whats wrong with you guys . Seth well your guy, joe manganiello, who is a lovely person, and not just because he is a big steelers fan. Yeah. Seth but you have sort of married into that world. Yes. Seth and you are such a beautiful woman and i believe that if anyone, if anyone could make steelers gear look sexy, it would be you. And then i saw this photo and realized that i was wrong. Youre not [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i have to be honest with you. You always look very happy, you do not seem to have any joy in your eyes in this photo. I mean, its like the only like i would say that its like the only bad thing, like, that joe has is like he doesnt its like a defect i think. Is that he doesnt understand that steeler clothes is not, like a brand, you know . Seth yeah. I see, right. [ light laughter ] its like, he thinks that thats the only thing that is clothes. Like, he doesnt have a tshirt or a shirt, or a jacket, or socks, that say steelers. Its like he doesnt understand that is not clothes. Thats like like a thing for a game, to wear to when you go to the stadium. Seth yes. He doesnt understand. Seth doesnt understand. In a perfect world, he would be on the red carpet at the oscars and theyd say, who are you wearing . And hed say, the steelers. [ laughter ] yeah, and and me too, and me too. Its like, he likes sometimes lay out things just like, look how beautiful that is . Its like im like, yeah, beautiful. [ light laughter ] seth and i will say, my wife has made the observation as well, that black and gold are not good colors for a lady. It is just i mean, that doesnt really i mean, thats not the worse part. That makes you look like a bumble bee but [ laughter ] the worse part is like its not everyday for gods sake. You know . Seth yeah. Its like, every once in a while. Like, you know i could have worse problems than that, dont you think . Seth you could have worse problems. Well, i want to bring up something that might, to me, maybe is a worse problem. Because joe looks like someone who would be a sports fan. He looks like an athlete. But i did not realize this until today, that he is still still plays dungeons and dragons. That cant be true . [ light laughter ] yes. Seth he does . [ light laughter ] yeah, and hes like hes obsessed with it. Seth wow. He has like a lot of figurines. [ light laughter ] he has like a dungeon in the house. And he has like a lot of figurines. Seth like a fake dungeon, right . [ laughter ] well, it was like a wine cellar and it was supposed to be the wine cellar, and suddenly with like the month started to happen. Its like i wish i had brought you a picture. Its like, he has like these gigantic heads of dragons hanging from the wall. [ light laughter ] it has like a Little Village all in the table. Its not a wine cellar anymore. Its a dungeon. Just like, gigantic chairs, and they love it, because they feel like it gets them in the mood, i think. [ laughter ] seth so guys, he actually has friends over, and they come and go down to the dungeon. And they stay there forever. I just hear them. [ laughter ] ive seen very pretty girls go down there and play too. Seth oh, wow. And thats youre very forward thinking that you would let that happen. Now im thinking [ laughter ] now im thinking that this might be all some sort of sham. [ laughter ] no honey, theyre just here for the for the dragons. Yeah, so girls play it too. But he loves it, and he invites friends. And i love it. I love being part of it but organizing the room, giving him food there. Beverages. Seth gotcha. And do you bring down like beverages that are appropriate to dungeons, or is it just regular beverages . I have never really been like in a dungeon, dungeon so i dont really know whats like appropriate. I feel like columbian coffee is always appropriate, so i put like a thing there that stays hot for like six hours so i dont have to go up and down. Seth thats great. And cheese, crackers, tea. Seth this sounds like a lovely dungeon. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. I mean seth i would, i mean, if its ever free for a weekend, i will airbnb that dungeon. I mean, i know, when youre in l. A. [ laughter ] seth yeah, please. When youre in l. A. , youre welcome. Its like it happens all the time in my house. Seth i also want to talk about your work husband, ed oneill, who is such a fantastic actor. And you know him first from you know, he went one time to the Pittsburgh Steelers, too. Seth i did know that, yeah. [ laughter ] i can pretend i didnt know that, but i did know that, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth and you knew him first from married with children. Yes. Seth but when you were watching it, it was in spanish and his voice was dubbed by a spanish actor. Yeah, in columbia, we watch things dubbed. But it was, i think it was like dubbed by some actor from spain. He had like a he had like this voice, like an Antonio Banderas kind of like guy. And then thats how you know like, once you hear someone, you grew up listening to that, the first time i saw him thats what i was expecting. [ laughter ] and im like, this guy doesnt even know one word in spanish. [ laughter ] it was a little like heartbreaking, but then i got used to it fast. Seth yes. You have a new line of is it lingerie . What would you call it . Well, its not a new line of lingerie, its an underwear. Seth underwear. Yes. Seth and its called eby. Its called eby. It means empowered by you. And you are the woman that sign in. This is a subscription underwear. Seth oh, okay. You receive your underwear in this little box every month, or every two months, or every four months and you get this amazing underwear that is like spectacular. You are donating well, not donating, we are giving 10 net of the proceeds proceeds. Seth proceeds, yeah. Proceeds, to empower women. Seth great. Were helping them open their own businesses. Im very excited about this, because its a business for me. And with my business, i am going to help empower other women to make their own businesses. So, its very nice. Seth thats fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] and thats very convenient and wonderful. And we have all sizes, from not just like, you know, small, medium, large, we have extra small to 4x. So we wanted to include every size of [ laughter ] seth they all deserve it. They all deserve nice things. Thank you so much for being here. Its always such a pleasure to see you. Thank you. Seth Sofia Vergara everybody. Modern family airs wednesday nights on abc. Well be right back with Craig Robinson. [ cheers and applause ] a World Without accidents. For the future to get there, were advancing safety technology. Designed not only to automatically brake but also actively steer. This is the most sophisticated lexus Safety System ever. And a preview of whats to come. Experience driverfirst innovation. Experience amazing. Eight hundred dollars when wet switched our auto and home insurance. With liberty, we could afford a real babysitter instead of your brother. Hey. Oh. Thats my robe. Is it . You could save seven hundred eighty two dollars when liberty stands with you. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth you know our next guest from nbcs the office, and such films as hot tub time machine and this is the end. He stars in the new Comedy Series ghosted, which premieres sunday night on fox. Please welcome back to the show Craig Robinson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, craig. Hello. Seth you look fantastic. As do you, sir. Seth beautiful suit. Thank you. Seth and youre looking very good, and i hear that you are actually youve changed your diet a little bit. A little bit. Seth youre almost vegan. Well i hate to just say, im vegan or almost vegan, because its truly a lifestyle, but i have been exercising vegan options. Seth gotcha. I just so i just got to stop eating meat and dairy, but other than that. [ laughter ] seth those are the two that are really get in your way . Thats the only thing thats keeping me from seth thats the last hurdle . Im 90 there. [ laughter ] seth those are the two they say, are the sticking points, for most people. Exactly, exactly. Seth yeah. And when when your friends find out youre almost vegan, are they upset . Oh, my god. Some of them, but some people like you know, cause they just cant wrap their head around it. And i was like, two years ago, if you said, lets go to a vegan restaurant, i would have been like, why . [ light laughter ] but now some of them had a right to be upset, because i am, you know, the guy at dinner like, does it have dairy in it . Seth oh, youre that guy . Was that made with animal products . Seth you dont have to use that voice. You can do it in your regular voice. [ laughter ] i saw you at the emmys. I met you were with your father at the emmys. You were so nice and gracious, thank you. Seth well, he was what a nice guy he was. And did you guys have fun . Your whole family was with you. It was great. It was great. Seth were there people you were excited to meet or see . Oh man, no so many, but de niro sat like two seats right in front of me two seats down and then a when they announced his name, like he was nominated, i said, bobby d [ laughter ] and like, he slowly like looked like he just turned, and you know my de niro face. Seth thats a good de niro face. [ cheers and applause ] full disclosure, that part didnt happen. [ laughter ] seth he didnt actually yeah. Yeah, i just said bobby d. , and nothing happened. Seth nothing happened. [ light laughter ] i want to talk about your show, ghosted. You want to clarify, because people might hear the title and think its about something else, but you want to clarify the premise. This is not about going like dating somebody, and then just disappearing from their life. Its not that. Its really, you know, dealing with ghosts and it could be titled vampire, the monster because its all these different. Seth its sort of like a fun its like a comedy xfiles, to some degree. Comedic xfiles, exactly. Its mulder and scully and jokes. Seth and you have adam scott as either your mulder or scully. Ill let you guys sort it out. Hes very hes an incredibly talented, really funny guy. And on the show, you sort of play the skeptic. Yes. Seth he plays the believer. Yes. Seth but in real life, its the opposite. Opposite, yes. He doesnt believe in anything and i [ laughter ] no, he doesnt believe in that stuff, and i just dont think were alone here. Seth got you. So you think you believe in extraterrestrial stuff. Do you believe in ghosts . All of that, yeah. Seth whats the thing that youre afraid of the most . Is there something . Afraid of . I dont deal with being afraid. Seth okay, thats good. Thats nice. Because if i believed in that stuff, i think id be terrified. I mean i im a scary movies scare me. Seth oh, really . [ light laughter ] yeah, like later on after the fact. Seth uhhuh. Like the first when i first moved to l. A. , you know i was living alone and stuff, and i went to see sixth sense and blair witch project, not knowing i was afraid of scary movies at this point. Seth gotcha. And then i went home, and i didnt know they were going to affect me and then, like, i heard something. And i said, theyre going to have to get me on the couch, because im not moving any more. [ light laughter ] seth that was it. So then i havent seen a scary movie since. Seth okay, thats good. I dont even like when they put the billboards up. Remember the one with the doll recently . Annabelle or something . Seth annabelle, yeah. And you just driving ahh [ laughter ] seth there should youre right. There should be a billboard two blocks earlier saying, if you dont like scary movies, make your next left. [ light laughter ] exactly. Seth you were at the def jam 25th anniversary show. Yes. Seth and i was wondering because of that, youve obviously been doing a comedy a long time. Do you remember when you first started, do you remember like a first joke . Oh, man, yes. [ light laughter ] you want to hear it . Seth yeah, please. [ cheers and applause ] are you sure . No very first joke i wrote was something like, jesus must have been black because, you know, he mustve hid all that fish and bread in his afro. [ light laughter ] so, theres a story about jesus with fish and bread multiplying. Seth yeah, but you thought he didnt actually multiply it. He hid it in his afro. Yeah, he just had a bunch. Seth so you believe in e. T. s, but not that jesus could make extra . [ laughter ] and were your parents supportive when you said i want to do comedy . No. [ light laughter ] you know, i was a school teacher. Seth yeah, i remember. I remember my father saying specifically, hes like, you going to lose that good job. So im glad i didnt listen. Seth yeah. But, he must be happy now. He got to be at the emmys. Are they very satisfied with how it turned out . Theyre happy. And my mother, she got to bring it down a notch. Shell just be at the Grocery Store like, at the checkout, like, my sons on office. [ laughter ] ah, what . Seth well thanks so much for being here. Its always such a pleasure to see you. A pleasure, bro. [ cheers and applause ] seth Craig Robinson, everybody. Ghosted is new, saturday night on fox. Well be right back with Julie Klausner. [ cheers and applause ] sir jeremy, you are a true friend of the crown. Dilly, dilly. Dilly dilly madame susan, you are an even truer friend of the crown. Dilly, dilly. Dilly dilly what is that . This is a spiced honey mead wine that i have really been into lately. Please follow, sir brad. Hes going to give you a private tour of the pit of misery. Im sorry, what . Pit of misery dilly dilly dilly dilly heres to the friends you can always count on. [ [ all ] by simon anbees funkel ] [ all ] bees the volkswagen atlas. With easyaccess 3rd row. Lifes as big as you make it. 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Giving us all the chance to simply sit down and learn. Visit letsstarttoday. Com or talk to an agent. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is creator and star of the very funny show Difficult People. The third season is now streaming on hulu. Lets take a look. I know i should Say Something supportive, but whats to become of me, billy . I dont want to be the free radical of hags, floating around without a partner. Think about all the terrible gays i could attract, as a new best friend. The guy that does autobiographical shows at piano bars. Someone in fashion. What about me . What kind of nightmare hags in l. A. Am i going to attract . A burlesque dancer. A groundling. Im going to throw up. A groundling julie. Im going to throw up seth please welcome back to the show, Julie Klausner, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, julie. Hi, seth. Seth its so wonderful to have you here. Thanks for having me back. Seth i enjoy, that clip is sort of you two talking about a move to l. A. Yes. Seth the difference between new york and l. A. I see you as very specifically a new yorker. Yes. Thank you, thank you. Seth youre very welcome. You were recently in amsterdam, though. My home away from home. You were there for three years . Seth yeah, about three years. And a little less. But you actually believe thats the other one other place you could live. I love amsterdam. I mean, dont you . Seth its the best. Its like magical new york with canals instead of streets, and prostitutes instead of pigeons. [ laughter ] its i mean, where else could you go to the red light district in the morning and the anne frank house in the afternoon . [ laughter ] seth it is a nice its a nice like, little of this, little of that. I love it. I love bland food, so its sort of my favorite place. You can have panakuchen and seth panakuchen, for those who dont know, are giant pancakes. Yes. And these are the only photos i took on my trip. Theyre just of food. They dont i mean, maybe you cant see how magical they are based on this photograph. And truth be told, they are just a pancake, but they are so much more. They are so completely delicious. Seth so much more. Ive had a bunch of pancakes, i have never done this, was this in amsterdam . The cat museum . Well theres a cat museum and then theres something called the ponza boot, which is a cat boat and its basically an Animal Shelter on a boat. I spent about three minutes there, thought, what am i doing with my time . And then i went about the rest of my life. But, yeah, if you notice, theres cats up for adoption and some of them just hang out there. Thats a seamus. Seth seamus . Its says, dont stroke me, i might scratch you, which is classic seamus. [ laughter ] seth yeah, that doesnt sound like a way to get adopted. I feel like seamus should be putting out a different vibe. I have a feeling that seamus is like, the bouncer of the cat boat. But then, theres also, a cat museum. Like, i go abroad and i dont go to i didnt go to the van gogh museum. Seth yeah. There are long lines. You dont have time for that. Who has time for that . Seth you can walk right into the cat museum. [ light laughter ] no kidding. Yeah, and theres like, paintings of cats. And museums have paintings of cats, but they have paintings of other things as well. Seth yeah. So theyre better. Seth yeah. But seth to be very specifically a cat museum, doesnt seem like a cant miss thing. It was a big waste of my time, seth. Seth yeah, there you go. [ light laughter ] i heard you also, while were talking about boats, cats or otherwise. You went to the provincetown film festival. I did. Seth you had to take a ferry there. It was a nightmare. Seth you did not care for the ferry. Im not great with motion sickness, and im also like a true die in the womb new yorker. Like, im not a new englander like you. So, the idea of motion sickness on a ferry is terrifying. And then at one point, the boat stopped, we hit something and the captain came on. And i cant do the accent but he was like, sorry everybody, we hit a lobster pot. Dont worry, this happens all the time. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] nothing about that was reassuring. Also, i thought a lobster pot was that thing in annie hall. I really am a new york jew. [ light laughter ] like, i thought it was like a physical pot where you drop a lobster in. Its like a cage or something . Seth yeah, well you have to, catch the lobsters first, and then you put them in the other pot. Hmm, sounds suspicious. [ laughter ] seth yeah, it does. Even as i said it, im like, this is crazy. Im making this up. Theyre indigenous to and we both know that, yeah. Seth so you filmed in l. A. Yes, for the finale. Seth for the finale. Billy and julie try to move out to l. A. We fail miserably. Seth this is well this is a good photo of how you would fair in l. A. Yes, this is me with a terrible [ laughter ] this is me with a terrible sun burn on a hike, basically dressed up like meryl streep in out of africa, yeah. Seth yeah, and is that runyon canyon . Unfortunately, yes. Runyon canyon is very popular in los angeles, even though it smells like dog [ bleep ] and it looks like a mans back hair pattern. [ light laughter ] like, you look around and theres these brown shrubs and this like, male like, hair body hair pattern, and youre just like waiting for the beauty of it. Seth yeah. Yeah, its pretty ugly. Seth when i go out to l. A. , people suggest it like, im going to jump at it as a thing to do. Yeah, dont. Seth theyll say, oh, you know, we should hike runyon. And im like, i have so many other things would have to go wrong for me to want to do that. [ laughter ] oh, no question. Its direct sun exposure, and then people are like, well you go and you make deals and you schmooze. Im like, youve just made it a thousand times worse. Seth yeah, thats not its not relaxing to go on a hike and make deals. What the hell . No. Seth also, amy poehler, one of the producers of the show, she plays, what is she . She plays a doula with a specialty in eavesdropping. Seth oh, okay gotcha. So she overhears one of our conversations and comes in, gives us her business card, which is just a rock. Seth very well cast. Very yeah, and her name is flute on the show, and she wanted a tshirt that said something funny on it, so we wrote jill stein. Just because we thought that she was the only one that was not giving up on that fight. And had absolutely no remorse about how the election turned out. Like no selfawareness whatsoever. Seth yeah, still wearing still rocking the shirt. Oh yeah. Shes still a jill stein enthusiast. Seth if you can find one, it would be on runyon canyon. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] seth thank you so much for being here. It was so great to see you, as always. Thanks for having me he. Seth Julie Klausner, everybody. Third season of Difficult People is streaming in its entirety on hulu. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] work. School. I think its time we mixed things up. Oh yeah, in your face and in conclusion, cats. Four flavors, four shapes. Cheetos xtra cheesy mixups. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Buy the new moto z and youll get a free projector mod. My advice for looking get your beauty sleep. And use aveeno® absolutely ageless® night cream with active naturals® blackberry complex. Younger looking skin can start today. Absolutely ageless® from aveeno®. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she had to buy lots of groceries. While she was shopping for organic fruits and veggies, burglars broke into her shoe. They stole her kids Mountain Bikes and tablets along with her new juice press. Luckily the Geico Insurance agency had helped her with Homeowners Insurance. She got full replacement on the stolen goods and started a Mountain Bike juice delivery service. Call geico and see how affordable Homeowners Insurance can be. Mom stuffynosecold nosleep mouthbreather just put on a breathe right strip it instantly opens your nose. Up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone go to breatheright. Com today to request a free sample. This is google home mini. Its the Google Assistant for your house. So it gets you. If you mumble. [minion mumbling]. It gets you. If you talk like this add worcestershire sauce to my cart. It still gets you. Okay, adding now. And if youre like hey google, play my love playlist. Ah, really . Play my love playlist. Oh yeah, it also knows the difference between you and him. Its google home mini. And the rest of the google home family. That one. This. That one. With the Alaska Airlines visa signature card you get a companion ticket every year. So why not take someone that you see all the time. Someone like, i dunno, me . I mean i always spell your name right and put a little unicorn in your foam. No pressure but i really need to get out of here. Theyve been playing the same playlist for three months and im pretty sure youre not supposed to eat scones for dinner this many days in a row. Mexico, hawaii, costa rica, i dont really know. Im a quick packer. Announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth. And be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes and subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Sofia Vergara, Craig Robinson, Julie Klausner, everybody gregg bissonette, and of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening, im carson daly. Welcome to last call tonight. Weve got another killer lineup for you, so lets kick things off right now with tonights last cal spotlight. V