Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon July 13, 2024

[ cheers and applause jimmy oh wow looking good welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome welcome, welcome to the show [ cheers and applause have a seat, please. Relax. Welcome. Thats a hot crowd welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Beautiful looking crowd. [ cheers and applause hey, i love you. Very big show tonight. Guys the one and only Linmanuel Miranda is here [ cheers andpp his new broadway show freestyle love supreme opens tomorrow its the hottest ticket in town prices range from, wow thats expensive to sorry, kids, no college for you. [ laughter ] you guys, its officially october. [ cheers ] october 1st, today stores are already putting up their halloween decorations. But unfortunately those arent fake cobwebs at forever 21 [ light laughter ] people are [ light laughter ] people are putting up halloween decorations. Make sure to buy your decorations now, because tomorrow aisles at cvs will be full of stuff for christmas. [ light laughter ] just trust me. Theyre even putting up halloween decorations at the white house. And just to frighten president trump, instead of a scarecrow, theyre using a cardboard cutout of nancy pelosi [ laughter ] oh, my god you scared me. [ cheers and applause this isnt good news it just came out that trump called australia and asked them to help discredit the Mueller Report yep, he asked australia to work against u. S. Intelligence. Today trump said everythings the opposite down there, so its technically not treason [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you. Actually, treason backwards is nosaert. [ light laughter ] as in no sir, i did not commit treason. [ light laughter ] now people want to see trumps calls with putin as well but russia says the white house needs to ask permission before releasing any calls between them [ light laughter ] that shouldnt be a problem because trump already asked russia for permission every time he uses the bathroom. [ light laughter ] can i go to the bathroom . Its may i go to the bathroom and no you may not. [ light laughter ] meanwhile 2020 candidate Kamala Harris has called on twitter to suspend trumps account, cause it does intimidating tweets towards the whistleblower. Trump heard that and was like you can take away my presidency, but youll never take away my twitter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause as if things arent crazy enough today at the white house, a mouse fell from the ceiling and landed on a reporter usually the mouse wouldve been caught but eric had his tongue stuck in the trap all week, so its like [ light laughter ] im sorry dad i was hungry im so sorry. [ light laughter ] the mouse fell from the ceiling and landed on the lap of our own Peter Alexander from nbc [ light laughter ] and it now confirms the rumor thats been going around nbc for years. Peter alexander wears edible cheese underwear steve really [ laughter ] wow, i did not know that jimmy we love you peter. And finally, the first cannabis cafe opened today in los angeles. [ cheers and applause cnn calls it the first farm to table restaurant that highlights cuisine and cannabis so apparently that reporter has never been to taco bell. [ laughter and applause give it up for the roots everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. From the show freestyle love supreme, Linmanuel Miranda is here [ cheers and applause we love that guy steve ah, love him jimmy talented, talented dude speaking of a talented guy, chris colfer is here steve oh [ cheers and applause wow. He wrote another book . Jimmy he wrote another book steve you wrote a book too, didnt you jimmy i did write a book [ light laughter ] steve yeah, compare it to his book hes got a book there. Jimmy whats that . Steve he just wrote a book, right . And you wrote a book jimmy i did, i actually wrote a book steve lets see your book. Jimmy it comes out next tuesday. You want to see it steve i mean you jimmy its called this is baby, and its available in stores wherever you go buy books. Steve yeah, its got a lot of words in it [ laughter ] and how many words would you say if you had to guess . Take a look at chris jimmy doesnt matter i mean its a fun book. [ light laughter ] steve i mean he wrote a book jimmy people come on the show im here to talk about chris colfers book. This is called a tale of magic this is a chris colfers book steve yeah, it looks like its got a lot of words in it. [ light laughter ] jimmy are you reading it over there steve yeah, im reading it right now. Jimmy this is my book. [ cheers and applause jimmy you hear that . Steve yeah im all for it jimmy look at the size of this sucker. Steve im proud of you for writing that book. Jimmy thank you. You very proud of me steve yeah, im very proud of you how mu is yo book by chance jimmy it doesnt matter. Look, it doesnt matter. [ laughter ] [ applause ] steve how much is chriss book how much is chris book . I mean, im just wondering jimmy by the way, i was wrong on the price of this last night. Steve okay jimmy so chriss book i would say i dont see a a price here steve its on the inside cover. Up top [ light laughter ] jimmy thisk 99 steve oh, thats fantastic thats a good deal whats yours, by chance . [ light laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy this is 18. 99 a lot of money steve thats not even a penny a word [ light laughter ] you know what i mean jimmy yeah steve thats great jimmy 18. 99 its worth it. Its a big book. Get this sucker here steve how much is yours . Jimmy 16. 99 steve well there you go, yeah [ laughter and applause wait how much in canada jimmy what steve how much is your book in canada . [ light laughter ] jimmy i dont do that. In canada its 22. 99 because its imported. Steve yeah its imported, good book jimmy yeah, im not from canada the United States of america, sorry if im proud to be an american [ cheers and applause maybe you arent proud to be an american, but i am proud steve i wear an American Flag pin in my pocket. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is we have two books, but we wont be on the same list. Steve yours is his is young adult, y. A ste yours is yours young, just young. Jimmy these are babys fingers and these are babys toes [ audience aws ] steve come on. Jimmy you know how long it took me to come up with that steve yeah, oh my gosh [ laughter ] i saw you i went in to go into your office itd be your old, old jimmy would i be there steve yes. Well, no, usually not. But then youd have your old typing away you know what i mean jimmy typing away. Steve just crumpled up pieces of paper in the corner by a waste basket. Jimmy but the whole idea of it is like this is real i mean hes a novelist hes written novels. This is not his first one. Its probably his sixth one or something. This is for me this is brand new. Steve this is your third youve written three of them you should be proud. [ laughter ] jimmy i know, but what im saying is baby steps, you know steve or good baby books baby books need baby steps jimmy well iud youre read read a giant big book. Steve no, you wont read chris book. Hell just eat the pages jimmy turn baby over and this is babys bottom. Steve awe. [ audience aws ] jimmy what im talking about. [ light laughter ] steve what else you got in there . Jimmy its funny what . Steve i love that. Jimmy its got comedy in there. Steve i love it. Im all for it jimmy well heres the thing. As a tired parent steve right. Jimmy i know about reading books. Steve yes, you jimmy theyre too long steve youre falling asleep jimmy me and the baby got to get a divorce steve right. [ light laughter ] jimmy so i go i will read you three books, but this should be the type of book we read steve right. Jimmy so i go like, babys eyes, nose, fingers, toes, bottom, here you go. You hug, i love you, good night. [ talking over each other [ cheers and applause jimmy time to start growing up steve yeah jimmy heres your first lesson, life lesson. Read yourself to sleep steve yeah man you do you jimmy babies are smarter than we think. Steve babies are way smarter. They read a lot more than you th dada, mama, nana meme. Mama, nana mama meme mama nana mama meme. Mama [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause jimmy this is a real book. Look at this chris colfer right there everybody. Steve yeah jimmy chris colfer is here [ cheers and applause and then, to close off the show tonight, we have a performance from the cast of freestyle love supreme. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy its the hottest ticket right now on broadway this is it were going to talk to lin all about it its something that you havent seen on television at all, ever its just so interactive and different and cool and talented, unbelievable stuff steve i cant wait jimmy im freaking out i love it. [ cheers and applause they are really, really good oh just a little reminder, this weeks hashtags topic is college in six words thats a where you try to describe your entire College Experience and boil it down to six words, okay. Its a game that we always play with everybody hashtag game so iacd then well read it when, tomorrow or thursday friday. Jimmy friday well read these. Well get the best of. And curate those down. Well read them back on friday but for instance, i tweeted this today i went to class that one time. [ light laughter ] i remember it, it was great. It was good, that one class, yeah [ applause ] it was good. That was college so we tweeted that out this afternoon, and immediately trended at number one. Hey, thanks a lot. [ cheers and applause so if you want to play along, just go on twitter and use the hashtag college in six words send us your six word tweet and you might see it on the show this friday. Its going to be fun [ cheers and applause jimmy tariq are you okay, buddy . You look annoyed tariq no, im good [ light laughter ] jimmy you sure you dont seem good. Tariq i just got some things on my mind, yo. Stuff to go on irk list. [ light laughter ] jimmy whats an irk list tariq its a list i keep of, you know, things that annoy me [ light laughter ] jimmy so these are things that annoy you and youre just thinking about that right now. Tariq yeah, people, places, things random stuff tv stars who come back looking different. [ light laughter ] jimmy what are you talking about. Ile there are still olympic hopefuls d then boom, the show gets theyre in season two, episode one with a new set of choppers [ laughter ] and its like [ applause ] too sudden of a change for me, man. I like a gradual evolution i dont want to tune in and then immediately think like what in the ceelo green is this mess here . [ laughter ] like the first thing they get is teeth even before like a gym membership [ light laughter ] so then you wind up losing weight and then youre skinny, but you still got your fat teeth [ light laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy look out for that would irk me too. Tariq yeah and or just the ones where you know something is up but you cant put your finger on it . M domynos all up in your mouth, man. [ light laughter ] shark week, you know dont even get me started with the entire cast of shameless. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] jimmy rely tarik yeah, dont get me started. [ light laughter ] jimmy i dont want you to get irked. Tariq what is up when people call it everything an event. Like every occurrence that happens is not an event. I feel like social media is to blame. Because you post one picture and then everyones all, im sorry i missed the event i saw your birthday event shenanigans. [ light laughter ] i mean, i took my 4yearold to chuck e. Cheese for a birthday pizza. It was no event. And when did we start using the word shenanigans all willy nilly like [ light laughter ] it just irks me jimmy. [ laughter ] jimmy these are the things that irk you these are things that bother you. Things that irk you. Tariq stuff that cooks me. Jimmy yeah, yeah sorry i missed you event, dude [ talking over each other tariq it wasnt event. Yeah, we went bowling. Jeez that almost irks me as much as like late in the game huggers. Jimmy late in the game huggers . Tariq yeah, yeah you know. I feel like we usually establish a greeting protocol quite early on theyre like, i mean, if were morning a loss, we celebrating a victory, then a pass is given. But if youre a fist bump, head nod, hive five greeter, especially in a work place you cant come in like its wednesday. [ light laughter ] bring it in. Jimmy no, no, no no tariq trotter, everybody [ cheers and applause things that irk you. I like finding out what irks you. [ cheers and applause im sorry buddy, lets talk about it well be right back with Linmanuel Miranda, everybody. [ cheers and applause im your cat. Ever since you brought me home, that day. Ive been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love . This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get allstate and be better protected from mayhem, like meow. 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Freestyle love supreme. preme, preme, preme, preme jimmy this is very, very [ laughter ] Everything Everything i finish is going to have an echo well, just preme jimmy all right, guys, its just like freestyle love sue. Amilton, there was freestyle love supreme. preme, preme, preme. Jimmy thats where it started, yeah. Tell us about what dhen they go seis well, the thing about the show is that its totally different every night. Its based on your suggestions you make the show. You give us a verb and then 80 minutes later you have an entire hiphop musical show. And we started doing this in the basement of the drama book shop in, like, 2003, Anthony Veneziale who youll see later tonight we were working on in the heights. It was my first musical. We were working in the basement of the drama book shop we had no money. I was a substitute teacher laughter ] jimmy wow. And we were working on heights and anthony, who worked at the book shop, would come in and distract us. He would be like, lets rap about our day. Jimmy veneziale. Veneziale jimmy thats a great name. Yeah. Jimmy Anthony Veneziale. And Chris Jackson and i were there in the basement and he was playing benny and i was playing usnavi and we would just, like, freestyle. And anthony was like, we should do this in front people. And here we are 15 years later on broadway [ cheers and applause jimmy thats the storyt . Come on. Yeah. Its my longest running relationship jimmy thats bizarre, right . Did you ever think, like, ever, like, hey, were going to do this on broadway this was just for this was for fun. It was for fun. It was like fun and we just continued to sort of find people who were good at this and now theres 20 members of freesytle love supreme. Youll see some of them tonight. Jimmy you did one during the blackout right in new york it was the night of the blackout of 2003 some of you were not born. I am old [ laughter ] and it was it was scheduled for the night basically, like, the power went out it was at the pitt theatre you know the pitt theatre . Jimmy yeah, the pitt, sure back when it was on 29th street. We were rehearsing for the show the next day and the power went our and we were like, oh, pitt theatre. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah and then we went out and we like the entire northeast [ laughter ] jimmy the whole city was out, yeah. The city and state and most of the northeast coast was out and the power was coming back sort of block by block after that blackout. Jimmy i remember that. I was kind of i had fun with that black out yeah, and we went to the [ laughter ] jimmy i know its weird to say but i did. Yeah, well, soon as we realized it was okay jimmy okay, and everyones fine we took care of each other yeah. Jimmy a very, take care of each other moment. It was another sort of new york that was you know what i mean . Jimmy it was pitch black crossing the street, like,ldinh. Youy, pdon me. Yeah, so we showed up at our show, and there were 16 people there but there was still no power at the pitt. And i was on 29th. We there were 16 people in the audience, we had two cases of beer. We walked our audience with us 11 blocks to the drama book shop basement which did have power we gave everyone a beer. We rapped about everyone in the audience and that was the first freestyle love supreme. [ cheers and applause jimmy how fun is that we would get we were like broke oprahs [ laughter ] both you get a beer, you get a beer, you get a beer. Jimmy you get a beer. And that was the first freestyle show jimmy back in 2004, i want to take you back to that year. Okay. Jimmy you posted this on your twitter, which i love, by ane its a really fun i follow you, too jimmy i love the those hashtags [ light laughter ] jimmy i do love seeing all these things, but, dude, i mean, the camping thing we got to talk about some other time. Yeah. Jimmy your letters from camp i didnt like it. Jimmy oh, my gosh. [ light laughter ] its the most funniest dude, but you were funny as a kid as you are now its the best. But this reas 20, this is you playing. Youre playing a bar mitzvah for yeah, i took a picture of my i found my Daily Planner from 20

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