Inquiry. Ah, yes, the old make it so long trump wont read it trick. [ laughter ] im supposed to read eight pages by thursday . What do i look like, a library person . [ laughter ] President Trump and First Lady Melania Trump hosted trickortreaters at the white house yesterday and gave out fullsized hershey bars. And the kids were super excited, until they got the bill. [ laughter ] thats right, trump and melania held a halloween event at the white house. Melania handed out candy, while trump took it back [ laughter ] sorry, kid, executive privilege. [ laughter ] no, i dont want the candy corn you can keep the candy corn. [ laughter ] during the event, President Trump and melania passed out candy to trickortreaters on the white house lawn, im guessing for the first time [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause seth why why are you putting it on his head all right ill give this banana in overalls some candy, but im not im not bending over for it. [ laughter ] apple added 400 new emojis to iphones yesterday, including a pinching hand used to suggest that something is small. Said men, so what she wants me to buy only a little bit of eggplant . [ laughter ] what do you think that means . What . The university of arizona announced yesterday that it will be changing its abbreviations from u. A. To u arizona in an attempt to differentiate itself from United Airlines it will also differentiate itself from United Airlines by providing meals. [ laughter ] a town in ireland broke a Guinness World record this weekend by gathering over 1,000 people dressed like harry potter and if you want to see 1,000 people who look like ron weasley, just go to any town in ireland any time. [ laughter and applause and finally, the impeachment inquiry in the house rolls on. In todays docket, there was testimony provided by Lieutenant Colonel alexander vindman, the top ukraine expert on the National Security council. And a decorated iraq war veteran who received a purple heart after being wounded in iraq. Pretty solid witness, right . Well, turns out that depends on whom you ask get this. This is buried in the New York Times piece tonight, but i found it very interesting. Because colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine, along with his family when he was a child, and is fluent in ukrainian and russian, ukrainian officials sought advice from him about how to deal with mr. Giuliani, though they typically communicated in english. Here we have a u. S. National security official who is advising ukraine while working inside the white house, apparently against the president s interests, and usually they spoke in english. Isnt that kind of an interesting angle on this story . Seth this bring us to a segment we call hey [ cheers and applause seth hey laura ingraham, youre attacking a decorated veteran to protect donald trump who do you think you are, donald trump [ laughter ] and by the way, yes, colonel vindman emigrated from ukraine when he was 3. Nobody even remembers where they were when they were 3, with the possible exception of you. Im sure when you were 3 you were already at saks fifth avenue making a salesperson cry. [ laughter ] and hey, do you really think its smart to attack veterans on fox news veterans make up a pretty good chunk of your audience i think it goes veterans, people visiting their elderly relatives, and rageaholic golfers age 73 and up. [ laughter ] but hey. At least you werent alone a cnn contributor named sean duffy got in on the action as well. Mr. Vindman, hes an adviser to the president he is a former ukrainian he wants to make sure the taxpayer money goes in military aid to the ukraine im sorry im sorry. Why does it matter why does it matter where he was born im sorry, congressman duffy why does it matter where he was born im going to explain that to you. That came up on fox news. Hes an active duty military member, an american who was awarded the purple heart but you know what, it seems very clear that he is incredibly concerned about ukrainian defense. I dont know that hes concerned about american policy, but his main mission was to make sure that the ukraine got those weapons. Seth oh, hey, sean duffy, you dont know about his concern for american policy . He got a purple heart fighting for america. You were, and this is true, this seriously true, a cast member on the real world boston. [ laughter ] and by the way the real world boston is the biggest oxymoron i have ever heard. [ light laughter ] boston isnt the real world. Its like Colonial Williamsburg with fistfights. [ light laughter ] and hey, you guys think hes putting ukraine over america, because he speaks ukrainian . It might actually be helpful to speak the language of the nation youre dealing with. Imagine how much Better Things would be doing here if this guy spoke english. [ laughter ] and hey, cnn, why are you having sean duffy on anyway from now on, anytime you have someone from a reality show on cnn, someone from cnn has to go on a reality show. [ light laughter ] lets see how wolf blitzer does on love island. [ laughter and applause hed probably if im being honest i bet hed do pretty well. I like your beard your beard matches your face. [ laughter ] your first name is wolf i like that. [ laughter ] this has been hey [ cheers and applause we have a great show for you tonight. She is an Academy Awardwinning actress and the star of last christmas, in theaters next weekend Emma Thompson is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause he is a very funny actor and comedian and a wonderful guy you know him from saturday night live. Alex moffat is here tonight. [ cheers and applause and he is an incredibly talented playwright whose show slave play is currently on broadway at the golden theater jeremy o. Harris is joining us [ cheers and applause now i you guys, im in my 40s. Im married. I have two kids. But nothing makes me feel older, and im being serious about this, than when i realize those moments i realize i no longer understand teen slang terms. And it seems like these days they evolve so quickly that its very hard to keep up so as a service to you and to myself, we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause seth all right our first slang term the teens are using is george w. Kush. [ light laughter ] heres the definition. Its a terrible weed dealer who you now miss because your new guy is somehow even worse. [ laughter and applause for example, my last weed dealer was always late and could never break a 20, but hes great compared to this new weirdo who just sits on my couch, talks for an hour, and never has weed. [ light laughter ] i miss that george w. Kush [ light laughter ] you might have overheard some teens talking. And heard this one dropped this slang term is called spidermansplain. Heres the definition. Its when a male comic book fan explains the marvel universe to a female comic book fan. [ laughter ] for example, jason was telling michelle about how thanos made his first appearance in the invincible iron man no. 55. And she was like, i know the marvel universe like the silver surfer knows his home world zennla. Dont spidermansplain that to me, bitch. [ laughter and applause moving on. [ cheers and applause this is very helpful thanksgiving just coming around the corner this will be helpful when youre with grandparents and maybe also teens. Its yeezer. This is an old guy who loves kanye. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence my grandpa is such a yeezer, i went to the nursing home on sunday and he was listening to late registration on full blast and shouting, we want prenup. [ laughter and applause our next new cause of course teens, very evolved, very interested in politics these days engaged, which explains this next new slang term. Its joe biden. This is the kid who is overconfident he will be voted prom king. [ laughter and applause for example, kyle thinks he has prom king in the bag, but that joe biden just lost the theater nerd vote when he says hamilton sucks ass [ laughter ] next one is really blowing up with the teens across the pond its lexit. Lexit. [ light laughter ] good, save your laughs cause [ laughter ] lexit, in case youre wondering, its when youre having trouble getting out of a pair of skinny jeans. [ laughter ] it was worth the wait. [ cheers and applause for example, i had three slices of square pizza in the cafeteria, so now lexit is impossible [ light laughter ] guess ill try again in january. Sleepinginjeans [ cheers and applause moving on. Nothing the teens like more than facebook whenever you hear about facebook, its always the teens. [ light laughter ] which explains this. Moving on, we have schmuckerberg. This is a prick who somehow knows all of your most personal details. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence its bad enough that nick gives me a wedgie everyday, but he somehow knows my birthday, my mothers maiden name, and the exact brand of sweaters i buy. He a schmuckerberg [ laughter ] you may be familiar with the existing teen term snack, which means an incredibly attractive person. Well this is snackolantern. This is someone who is hot despite looking like a carvedup pumpkin. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence damian is bald, bulbous and has one tooth, but he can still get it that boy a snackolantern [ laughter and applause helpful for the season, helpful term for the season. You may have heard the slang term hot girl summer. This next slang term is pot girl fall. [ laughter ] heres the definition. This is when it changes from swimsuit weather to sweater weather, so now girls just get high [ laughter ] karen rolled into chemistry in a xl cable knit and shades and couldnt stop giggling whenever the teacher said bunsen burner. [ light laughter ] guess its pot girl fall [ light laughter ] our last teen slang term is doob goldberg machine. This is a large, unnecessarily complicated device thats designed to light a joint. [ light laughter ] for example, i went over to jeremys and just wanted to smoke up, but hes got some crazy doob goldberg machine where you pull on a juicer which sends a ball down a ramp that rolls over and hits a stick that sends a little ball down a ramp. And at the end of that ramp is another stick that pushes another ball down another ramp above that one [ laughter ] and that happens six more times. And the ball seems like its headed down, but it keeps climbing higher up this wall [ laughter ] and then the last ball falls into a pail that drops and spins a globe. But the globe has a moon attached to it you know what . Actually you know what, it would actually [ cheers and applause it probably probably just be easier to show you how it works. [ cheers and applause [ laughter ] [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause [ cheers and applause this has been seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with Emma Thompson. [ cheers and applause happy halloween. 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[ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. And give it up for the 8g band, right over there [ cheers and applause back with us tonight, shes the fantastic drummer from an exciting new rock n roll band, starbenders. Be sure to check her out on their latest release, japanese rooms, as well as their brandnew single holy mother. Emily moon, everybody. [ cheers and applause thanks for being here emily. Our first guest tonight is an academy and Emmy Awardwinning actress you know from films such as love actually and sense and sensibility. She wrote, produced, and stars in last christmas, which is in theaters everywhere on november 8th lets take a look. She is eating rubbish when she is outside when shes at home, shes eating my food, and its good im sure it is. What about sleep its all right. She never sleeps. Exercise . Religiously not at all. Alcohol maybe once and a while. Shes drinking like the pirate [ laughter ] you say youre okay yep and your mother says the opposite who do i believe me, obviously me, the mother, of course all right seth please welcome back to the show Emma Thompson, everyone [ cheers and applause seth they would have gone all night. Cant i just sit down seth they would have gone all night. Welcome. Love a dance, love a dance. Seth its so wonderful to have you back. Thank you, darling. Seth and congratulations you have written, you star in, a christmas film you are in one of the most beloved christmas films of all time, love actually. Oh, yes seth yeah. [ cheers and applause seth youre adding i had forgotten seth youre adding to the canon, which is very nice. You must like a christmas film yeah, i like some of them seth yeah. [ laughter ] i like some of them seth thats true theres some duds out there. Yeah. Yeah, though, its not common to get a really good one. But i did feel we needed a new one. Seth you did okay so this was out of necessity [ laughter ] i think necessity is putting it too strongly. Seth yeah. Although, i did need to earn some money seth right, right. [ laughter ] and that is what christmas is all about. [ laughter ] all about people. Lets not forget [ cheers and applause seth i dont want skip over a very interesting detail, you wrote this film with your husband. I did seth and youve never written a film together before no. Seth that must have been a lovely experience. It was, and it was accidental as well. Because because this wonderful producer David Livingston said, do you feel like writing a movie based on George Michaels wham song, last christmas . and i said, not really. [ laughter ] because im not its not my favorite christmas song. Seth yeah. And, um, it was a long time ago. And i listened to it and i thought, last christmas, you gave me your heart then the very next day, you gave it away. And then, what can i do that i cant think of a story so, i told my old man. And we were on a walk in the hills in scotland. And we thought, i wonder if theres Something Else we could do with it could we come at it in a different angle . So, is you started dreaming up this idea. As you start with the idea, which is like a little piece of grit seth yeah. And then you have to kind of pearlize the grit over many years with draft after draft after draft, you know . But, the idea was good and it lasted and i met George Michael about it two years before he died. And what a lovely guy. Seth yeah. And i will say, i which is a thing that i always regret, i almost feel as though i appreciated exactly how lovely he was after he passed away. I totally agree seth you sort of hear the tributes and you realize, oh i sort of saw you through the prism of your pop culture persona yeah. Seth and you were so much more there was so much more depth to you than that. Yeah, he was an extraordinary man. I mean, really on the search all his life for a kind of authentic way of being cause he hadnt come out for a long, long time and that was really hard. And his move from that kind of wham music to like, listen without prejudice is one of the greatest albums of alltime, i think. And i didnt realize it was really spooky, i had no idea how pertinent his lyrics, his poetry and his music were to the movie, abd the story in the movie, until it was, like that late, late arrival that you just described. I just went, oh, my god this guys really deep and profound. And had very, very great things to say about what it is to be human, and how difficult it is and how complicated it is. Seth when you get a message like that from the work youre you know, this is not an adaptation of a song, but the song is the inspiration, somebody elses work yeah. Seth when you get that from them, are you so excited cause youre, like, oh, my god. They had given me more than i even thought or do you have fears of, like, oh, i better not blow this cause this is now more than i thought it was going to be it happened over such a long period of time seth how many years was it from start eight seth eight years yeah. [ laughter ] seth wow yeah. Seth that you guys your marriage survived. [ light laughter ] working on an eightyear project of any kind. Yeah. Absolutely its extraordinary, isnt it seth thats the Real Christmas miracle. Yeah [ laughter ] i mean, any longterm relationship, yeah you just go, how is it possible . Seth yeah. Its basically impossible, actually so you just go every moment that it lasts you go, well, this is kind of impossible [ laughter ] but, it still seems to be here [ laughter ] wow, how fantastic. And just keep your fingers crossed. Seth when did you shoot it, because theres so much Christmas Decorations in the film hmm seth was it past christmas was it before . In real life, when you were shooting it. Well, the fortunate thing was that we were shooting in london at night, before Christmas Seth okay. Three weeks before christmas. Seth okay, great all great everyones okay we started at 2 00 a. M so, in Covent Garden and it was magical, magical and everyones, oh, guys, its christmas. Its so gorgeous. [ laughter ] and then we had christmas and we were thinking, this is great. We get two weeks off for christmas. Forgetting, of course, that christmas is so unbelievably exhausting seth right so, everyone came back afterwards oh, im so tried. It was a really [ bleep ] christmas. [ laughter ] [ mumbling ] long term relationships are impossible. Blah, blah, blah and then we had to carry on doing christmas. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] until february seth ugh [ laughter ] i mean, that is just a nightmare. A nightmare seth you were that terrible neighbor that doesnt take their decorations down oh [ laughter ] seth do, in england becau