Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Join jimmy and his guests kevin james, lenny kravitz, comedian Nate Bargatze and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ applause ] jimmy hi, everyone thank you very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, it was just another crazy week and tonight President Trump did his first oncamera interview since he got covid. Lets see who he decided to talk to. He have just learned this morning that President Trump is set to appear in his first oncamera interview tonight and will apparently get a medical evaluation, not by the white house physician, but by a doctor on fox news, according to the Cable Network [ laughter ] jimmy thats right trump got a remote medical evaluation its like a zoom physical. It was a tough choice for tv viewers, yankee playoff game, nba finals or hearing about a 74yearold mans body [ laughter ] can we catch all three . No, you cant. The medical exam on tv i feel like trump is one step away from taking the covid test on maury. [ laughter ] you do not have the virus. [ drumbeat ] im sure the guy who evaluated trump is qualified i mean, to be a fox news doctor you have to go to medical school in queens for a whole three hours. [ laughter ] it was really bizarre television, especially when trump told the doctor, might as well check my prostate while im here. [ laughter ] at least trump seemed like he was in a playful mood during the exam when the doctor said he would need a sample of his blood, urine, and stool, trump gave him his underwear [ audience oohs come on its a classic, its a a classic. [ laughter ] i never really seen him laugh, trump. Right . What does he laugh like . [ laughter ] like, a silent laugh tariq muppet yeah jimmy yeah, like a muppet. Tariq or maybe like a robot like ahahahahahahah. [ laughter ] jimmy or maybe like, you know. Some people laugh like ernie, too like [ laughter ] tariq oh, yeah yeah, thats a good one. Yeah jimmy yeah, thats a good one. [ laughter ] actually, i was impressed with the doctor he remembered every single word trump told him to say. [ laughter ] thats right, trump was given a virtual medical exam on tv i guess that explains this promo i saw. Tonight, president donald j. Trump undergoes a complete physical on Tucker Carlson tonight. Thats why you should watch cnn. Check your local listings. [ laughter and applause jimmy the last few days, trump has been all over fox news last night, he called in to sean hannity at this point, even regular fox news viewers are like, this guy again . [ light laughter ] by now any time trump calls fox news it comes up as potential spam [ laughter ] during the interview, trump didnt sound too good. Take a listen to this. I think the first debate [ clears throats ] excuse me, on the first debate, they oscillated the mic. Absentee is okay, because absentee ballots [ clears throat excuse me. Absentee ballots jimmy wow. Thats great the president of the United States is slowly turning into the mucinex monster [ laughter ] a second later, trump was like, [ coughing ] sorry, hair ball. [ laughter ] hannity then tried asking trump if hed been tested for covid and trump wouldnt give a clear answer listen to this have you been tested recently more sooner, maybe. Yeah, i just saw the doctors today. They think im in great shape. Im in great shape i know im whether im great shape or not did you test negative and i took this regeneron have you had a test since your diagnosis a week ago . Well, what were doing is probably the test will be tomorrow but they found very little infection or virus, if any [ laughter ] jimmy so the answer is no. [ laughter ] his doctor will only examine him on tv from 200 miles away. I think its safe to say hes still positive its like being asked, how did your history test go . And you go, yes. [ laughter ] later in the interview, hannity asked trump what he thought would happen under bidens environmental plan he had a pretty interesting response i mean, they literally want to take buildings down and rebuild them with tiny Little Windows, okay . Little windows so you cant see out, you cant see the light [ laughter ] jimmy rebuild them with tiny Little Windows so you cannot see light. Is he attacking the democrats or writing a haiku [ light laughter ] im worried about trump, but later he was like, to the window, to the wall, till the sweat drop down my [ coughing ] hair balls. It didnt stop there trump then talked about californias water situation listen to this look at where california is going to have to ration water. You know why because they sent millions of gallons of water out to the sea, out to the pacific. Because they want to take care of certain little tiny fish. [ laughter ] theyre not doing very well without water, to be honest with you tariq no [ laughter ] no no, man. Jimmy its real, no, that is his tariq this is the news you do not need. Yall did that jimmy that is i swear tariq theres no way [ laughter ] jimmy tiny windows, tiny fish he sounds like those Youtube Video of kids after they get their wisdom teeth out [ laughter ] then today trump called into rush limbaughs radio show for two hours. And at one point, he dropped an f bomb talking about iran. Listen to this and iran knows that and theyve been put on notice if you [ bleep ] around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before. [ light laughter ] jimmy when mike pence heard trump curse, he took two flies and stuck them in his ears [ laughter ] not today, satan. [ laughter ] trump says hes feeling better and doctors are crediting his recovery to advanced treatments, including a steroid. But i dont know if its the best choice for trump. Take a look at this ad i saw the other night. Reclaim the day with dexamethasone, dexamethasone has been used to treat moderate to severe cases of covid19. While effective, dexamethasone isnt for everyone you shouldnt take dexamethasone if you have a twitter account, can make a phone call and suddenly your voice is on tv, or if you can order a Nuclear Launch side effects may include mask intolerance, thinking youre immune to diseases you currently have, chronic all caps syndrome, sudden rambling interviews on hannity. And infinitan dexamethasone, oh, yeah, your boy be tripping. [ cheers and applause jimmy hey, this is going viral. A woman shared a picture of a frozen tuna steak that looks like President Trump take a look at this. See if you can see [ audience oohs trump saw that and was like, now, thats the tan im looking for. [ la [ laughter ] hi. [ dog whimpering ] jimmy thats what happens when youre trapped in your house for seven months im going to go make some dog holes in the fence. Honey, any headway with the job search . No, but i made a couple of couple dog holes. [ laughter ] and finally, these days it can feel like theres a lot going wrong with the world and sometimes you wish you could make it right. Well, luckily were able to do that here on the tonight show. Its time for this week made right. Check it out [ mouse clicks ] shockingly, President Trump has left Walter Reed Hospital to ride around in his [ glass breaks ] oh, wait a second okay yup, thats probably for the best [ laughter ] thats right. After a heated president ial debate last week, the vp candidates have agreed to sit in silence and smile at one another. Lets take a look. [ laughter ] shocker for the patriots this week. Cam newton is out with covid he could be done for the season oh, wait a second, al, not so fast. Well, look at that, its cam newton [ laughter ] this is a great insult [ fly buzzing to the men and women who serve in Law Enforcement and i want everyone to know [ swatting ] who puts on the uniform [ laughter ] jimmy we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everyone [ applause ] thank you so much. Guys, as you know, all week long weve been shouting out some of our favorite comedy clubs across the country that need your support. And tonights comedy club is one of my personal favorites, zanies in nashville, tennessee ive performed on that stage many times and its the owners, the staff, theyre all its just a top notch comedy club. And right now, theyre doing virtual shows and trying to keep bringing comedy to their audiences in the safest way possible, and they need our help so we teamed up with our friends at indeed, and they will be receiving a check for 15,000. [ cheers and applause indeed makes it easier for Small Businesses to find and hire great people. For more info, go to indeed. Com hire. Man, i love youy do you remember that time where john rich picked me up in the smoky and the bandit car . Thanks for always [ laughter ] tariq what you got to explain that. Jimmy we went out and partied all night. [ laughter ] tariq dude, youre leaving so much of the story out [ laughter ] jimmy thats true. Youre right we went to church, and [ laughter ] but any way, dorfman, thanks for always giving me stage time and putting on all these great comedy shows for all these years. Youre going get through this, buddy. Thank you to indeed for being a great partner. And thanks to Zanies Comedy Club in nashville, tennessee [ applause ] if you can, support your local comedy clubs we have a great show for you tonight. From the new netflix movie hubie halloween, kevin james is here. [ applause ] plus, his new book let love rule is available now [ applause ] and weve got standup from one of my favorites, Nate Bargatze [ applause ] hey, its the end of the week, and thats usually when i catch up with some personal stuff, i check my inbox, i return some emails, and of course i send out thank you notes. And i was running a bit behind today, so i thought if you guys wouldnt mind, id like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that [ cheers and applause i think its cool with you guys james, can i get some thank you writing music, please . Just completely completely dead in the eyes [ laughter ] thank you, trump and biden, cancelling the virtual debate, for living out every americans dream, bailing on the big zoom meeting because youre not in the mood [ laughter ] thank you, fly who landed on mike pence, enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, because its only a matter of time before everyone finds the creepy stuff you posted on reddit [ laughter ] thank you, empty white house, or as eric and don jr. Put it, come play with us. [ laughter ] they should be that for halloween. Thank you, sexy mailin ballot costume for being a great way to tell the world you dont understand politics, halloween, or the word sexy. [ laughter ] is that how you laugh . Tariq yeah [ laughter ] like jimmy no tariq like only in the sssss. [ laughter ] jimmy i feel like youre holding yourself back. Tariq no, not at all, man. Im cutting loose. [ laughter ] jimmy not cutting lose, you just your tariq like no, seriously okay, Say Something funny. Jimmy okay, whatever i just said they dont even know politics, halloween or the word sexy. [ laughter ] tariq yeah, thats like when i really get into jimmy shoulder into it tariq it, a little shoulder lean jimmy yeah tariq yep. Jimmy i tried to change my laughter to just breath at one point. Tariq oh, yeah jimmy yeah, you Say Something funny . Tariq if they dont know, they dont understand the meaning of mailin ballots or sexy [ laughter ] i like that. Jimmy right . Tariq i like that, yeah. [ laughter ] its kind of like chuck barris jimmy oh, its also halloween. [ imitates sound effect friday the 13th. Tariq yeah jimmy wait, do your laugh. [ laughter ] oh, my goodness. Its friday, guys. Thank you, bluetooth head phones, for making it easy to connect to any device in my apartment building, except for my phone [ laughter ] thank you, bookmarks, for reminding me of where i stopped reading three years ago. There we go. Those are our thank you notes right there. Well be right back with more tonight show. [ cheers and applause keeping your oysters growing while keeping your business growing has you swamped. you need to hire i need indeed indeed you do. The moment you sponsor a job on indeed you get a shortlist of quality candidates from a resume data base so you can start hiring right away. Claim your seventyfivedollar credit when you post your first job at indeed. Com promo well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. Now any order can be rewarding when you use the app. No matter how you pay, youll be closer to earning rewards and getting more of your favorites for free. More ways to pay, not much, how about you . Are you answering my text in person . I am, yeah. Lol come on in. This is tech that helps you be there. The Nissan Altima now offering the most techadvanced engine in its class jimmy welcome back to the tonight show. Were about to play a brand new game this is fake off. Ah fake off fake off jimmy im going to need some help on this one, so joining me now is the one and only kevin james kevin, it is great to see you. Thank you jimmy thank you for playing this game with me. Heres how this works. Kevin and i are each going to take turns presenting three projects that we worked on the catch is that one of them is completely fake well ask each other questions and try to figure out which one is made up and if we get it right, we win that round sound good okay. All right. You ready . Jimmy yep. Which of these is not a real movie i starred in, okay a, grilled. B, the dog house. Or c, true memoirs of an international assassin. Jimmy i saw true memoirs, so thats real the dog house feels like thats not something you would have done. Grilled, who is that in there with you in grilled . I cant it was ray romano jimmy oh, well i think you and ray know each other from standup. And i should see grilled by the way if that i would say i dont believe that you were in the dog house. I think that is not a i believe you have been in the dog house in your real life. Right jimmy but i say that is a fake movie the dog house is fake all right, youre correct. [ light laughter ] youre right it is the fake one im kind of mad. I wanted you to jump on the dog house. Its sad that the dog house is something that could be considered something i did, right . [ laughter ] jimmy wait, what would be the concept . Do you somehow like your wife put youre in the dog house, and so you actually start living in the dog house . Yes with the dog and it becomes a buddy movie between me and a dog its got to be a buddy movie right . I do something, the wife gets upset, im out in the dog house, and then we form a relationship, and we go on the road somehow and he fixes me, and i come back, and all is well. Jimmy okay, here we go back to me now these questions. Okay. Jimmy which of these is not a real album of mine i dont know if you knew i had albums is it a, blow your pants off. B, the bathroom wall. Or c, greatest hit. Okay. I know the bathroom wall. So i know that ones good. Its between a and c. Im going to go with blow your pants off. I dont think you did that i dont think you did blow your pants off. [ laughter ] jimmy youre wrong i did do that. Get out of here when did you do jimmy i won a grammy for blow your pants off . Jimmy yeah and bathroom wall nothing jimmy bathroom wall nothing. Blow your pants off. Thats wait a second theres a bigger story here. And its about bathroom wall nothing. Im happy for you for blowing your pants off, and good job. This is its just not fair, man. Jimmy thank you, finally we can call the academy and talk to somebody oh man jimmy all right, kevin, time for the final round this is for you. You asked your question about yourself and if i get this right, im the winner all right, here we go which of these is not a real animated character i voiced in a movie . A, old man mian. B, otis the cow. Or c, officer landers. Jimmy this is insane is not a real animated character you voice in the movie . Old man mian otto the cow thats pretty cute otis. Jimmy sorry. Otis the cow yeah. Jimmy that was a trick question i just wanted to see if you reacted. You did. You took the bait on that one. Nice setup. Nice setup jimmy no problem so that ones real officer landers. That seems a little fakey name, officer landers. And you just played an officer in hubie halloween. Youre not one to repeat roles right jimmy im going to say the answer is but yet youre not old, so why would you play old man mian well. Jimmy youre young im going to switch and go flip mode im going to say old man mian, fake you never did it youre a son of youre right. Youre right, man. [ ding ] [ laughter ] i thought i had you on Landers Jimmy i almost got on landers. What was officer landers you got me almost got me on landers, and now i want to play mian. I want to play him jimmy youre not old enough shouldnt play old man anybody but you can do the old man voice or, you know, whatever it is. I dont know what he sounds like, but id like to dig in jimmy well, apparently he sounds like its that gravelly its kind of like its a gravelly old guy. Jimmy my old man has that type of voice. Oh, yeah, you can go that way, as well. Jimmy yes oh, yours is british. Was he british . Old man mian, of course he was. Righto. Jimmy that was thank you for playing our game i got to know you a little better yeah, you did and i know you, and im still pissed off at bathroom wall. Okay buddy im just this is just unacceptable jimmy can you come back im making some phone calls jimmy can you come back and talk to me about hubie halloween and all the things youre up to i would love to jimmy well be talking to kevin more after the break stick around, everybody. Hola, soy j balvin and im dropping my mcdonalds order. Leggo a big mac no pickles please. There you go. Medium fries. Con ketchup. And an oreo mcflurry. Of course ooof the j balvin meal. Get it on the mcdonalds app and the mcflurry is on me. Im lovin it with mobile scan and go, get in and get out. So you can get back to living. This was the theater i came to quite often. The support weve had over the last few months has been amazing. Its not just a work environment. Everyone here is family. If you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. We thought for sure that we were done. And this town said not today. 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