Jay weinberg. [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers, this is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news. Adult film star Stormy Daniels testified today in former president trumps criminal hush money trial. So trump technically slept with her again. [ laughter ] ahead of Stormy Daniels testimony today in former president trumps criminal hush money trial, one of the prosecutors told judge juan merchan that daniels will not describe trumps genitalia, because it would violate the gag order. [ laughter ] while testifying in former president trumps criminal hush money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels said that in phone calls after a sexual encounter with trump in 2006, he would often call her honey bunch. Honey bunch . And you guys think biden is too old. [ laughter ] during former president trumps criminal hush money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she spanked trump with a rolledup magazine that had his face on the cover. And i think its weird that the hotel even had a copy of bankruptcy aficionado. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you know what . I think thats more than enough, because at some point, you know, were just piling on. The man was our president. [ light laughter ] you know what i mean . Who among us hasnt slept with an adult film star, and then tried to cover it up, and then become president . [ laughter ] yet we look down our noses at him . I dont think so. Shame on us. Shame on me during former president trumps criminal hush money trial [ laughter ] adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she and trump had sex in missionary position. Dont even think about it shouted judge merchan to the sketch artist. [ laughter ] all right, now were moving on. The Biden Campaign released a new ad today criticizing former president trumps immigration record that highlights his family separation policy. In trumps defense, he just assumed people wanted to be separated from their family. [ laughter ] russian president Vladimir Putin was inaugurated today for another sixyear term. Putin sailed to victory after his opponent dropped out. Of a window. [ laughter ] Florida Governor ron desantis signed a bill into law last week that bans labgrown meat. Oh labgrown meat. Thats what he looks like. [ laughter ] and finally, a Grocery Store in texas recently set a Guinness World record by showcasing more than 300,000 avocados in a single display. Even more incredible, not one of them was the perfect amount of ripe. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue. We saved the last burn for avocados. [ cheers and applause ] we got a great show for you tonight. He is a fantastic actor and director you know from loving, the boys in the boat, and red sparrow. Hes currently starring in dark matter on apple tv plus. Our friend Joel Edgerton is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] she is a golden globewinning, Academy Awardnominated actress who is brilliant in killers of the flower moon. She stars in under the bridge on hulu. Lily gladstone is here. [ cheers and applause ] and they wrote and star in the hit offbroadway play oh, mary that will be making its way to broadway next month. I saw it last week. I cant ive never been more excited to talk about somebody talk to somebody, excuse me, about something i recently saw than i am about this tonight. Cole escola will be here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] my brother and i, our podcast, family trips. We talked to Stephen Merchant this week. It was one of my favorite conversations weve ever done on the pod. Check that out wherever you get your podcasts. You guys, moving on, we here at late night dont always have enough time to cover all the recent news. Like, for example, we havent had time to make any jokes about Stormy Daniels. So here with a recap is one of our writers, amber ruffin, in a segment we call amber says what. [ cheers and applause ] hi hi you guys, things have been crazy. Okay, first of all, trump is on trial, and i heard that he keeps falling asleep in court and i was, like, what . But he was, like [ snores ] what . [ laughter ] then i heard he was also farting himself awake . And i was, like, whahahat . How embarrassing for you [ laughter ] [ fart noise ] [ laughter ] i actually think its perfectly reasonable that he did that. Next topic. Then angel reese played her first wnba game and had 13 points and 9 rebounds in 24 minutes, and i was, like, what . [ cheers and applause ] amber, i can do that if i wanted to. Id be all, like [ fart noise ] [ laughter ] never mind. She is a goddess. I am nothing. Next topic. Then i heard the golden bachelor got divorced and i was, like, thats what you get for not picking leslie everyone adores her because we all knew teresa wasnt right ever since she squealed on kathy for calling her out which she had every right to do. P. S. , kathy, if the bachelor has picked a favorite girl, dont make her cry, you idiot. Thats why you didnt get no rose. But, really, folks, if these two crazy kids who met the oldfashioned way, on a reality show contrived by producers to sell ad space cant make it, what hope is there for the rest of us, huh . [ light laughter ] then, i heard trump announced that during his campaign he will focus on antiwhite racism, and i was, like [ extended fart noise ] [ laughter ] that one was on purpose. [ laughter ] antiwhite . Whats antiwhite . Flavor . Rhythm . Hardship . Then i heard biden is reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug and i was like, whaat . [ light laughter ] cause i was already high. Just kidding. I dont care for weed. The only thing i do care for is 100 pure colombian coke. [ light laughter ] seth amber, you do not do drugs, least of all colombian coke. Yeshuh. Because its got more sugar in it than ours. [ laughter ] then governor kristi noem admitted to killing her familys puppy and i was, like, what then she was talking about how biden should have killed his dog, too, and i was, like [ light laughter ] i said what so high that only dogs could hear it. [ laughter ] the ones she hasnt murdered. [ laughter ] but, seriously, if you see that woman at disneyland, get these two out of there [ laughter ] then i heard theres going to be a mufasa movie and i was, like, what . Then, i heard beyonce and blue ivy are going to be in it, and i was like, what can i do to get in that movie . [ light laughter ] seth, do you know anyone who could help . Seth no. You have never once helped me in my entire career then i read that arizona might uphold an abortion ban from 1864, and i was, like, whaat . If theyre revisiting laws from the 1800s, whats next . Reinstituting slavery . So just to be safe, i, amber ruffin, would likely to publicly announce id make a terrible slave. [ laughter ] seth theyre not bringing slavery back. I said the same thing about flip phones, and look at my dumb ass. Its coming the future looks terrible almost as terrible as my apartment, which i do not keep clean. Please dont buy me. [ laughter ] seth no ones going to buy you. Everyones gonna buy me people will be lined around the block. I dont eat much, im happy all the time and i start a party. Think about it. Im the ideal slave. [ laughter ] seth stop saying that i say whatever i want see . Im too militant to be a slave. Please dont buy me. [ laughter ] seth amber tell them i would make a terrible slave, seth. Seth im not going to say that so you think i would make a good slave . Seth stop doing this to me look, slavery is coming back. So black people, do what i did and buy yourselves. [ laughter ] seth amber, that is not an official document. Well, it is now. Because i became a notary. [ laughter and applause ] i know that that makes me a better investment, but please dont buy me. [ laughter ] then applebees announced something called dollaritas where you can buy a margarita for a dollar all month long and i was like, whaat . Seth, i need a month off to celebrate dollaritas. Seth you cannot have the whole month off. I demand a whole month off seth oh, my god, you would make a terrible you know what . Never mind. [ laughter and applause ] then i heard people say chinas new train Station Design looked like a maxi pad, and i was, like, what . Then i saw it, and i was, like [ laughter and applause ] wait. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage amber ruffin [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] hey, hey. Whats the deal with this train station, huh . Where do you take it to . Aunt flos . Trains show up there, like, what . Once a month . [ laughter ] i heard the traffic is heaviest on days two and three, but on day four it slows to a trickle. [ laughter ] and where do you find this train station . In the bottom of your moms purse . Why would you take a train when you have wings . [ laughter ] this station is great, but dont use it when you go swimming. What else, what else . What else . What else . This station is modern, hightech and more absorbent than the leading brand. [ laughter ] this is the first train station you can buy out of a vending machine in a bathroom. Now some train stations close at 7 00, but this one is Strong Enough for overnight. [ light laughter ] are you there, god . Its me, train station. Thats my time. This has been amber says what . [ cheers and applause ] seth amber ruffin, everybody. Well be right back with Joel Edgerton. [ cheers and applause ] i told myself i was ok with my moderate to severe Rheumatoid Arthritis symptoms. With my Psoriatic Arthritis symptoms. But just ok isnt ok. And i was done settling. If you still have symptoms after a tnf blocker like humira or enbrel, rinvoq is different and may help. Rinvoq is a oncedaily pill that can rapidly relieve joint pain, stiffness, and swelling in ra and psa. Relieve fatigue. And stop further joint damage. And in psa, can leave skin clear or almost clear. Rinvoq can lower your ability to fight infections, including tb. Serious infections and blood clots, some fatal; cancers, including lymphoma and skin; heart attack, stroke, and gi tears occurred. People 50 and older with a Heart Disease risk factor have an increased risk of death. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Tell your doctor if you are or may become pregnant. Done settling . Ask your rheumatologist for rinvoq. And take back whats yours. Abbvie could help you save. Talenti salted caramel truffle layers, with creamy salted caramel gelato. Bradley. Its cookies. I can see the cookies, the jar is seethrough. I knew that. I knew you knew that. Talenti. Raise the jar. No application fee if you apply by may 31st at university of maryland global campus, an accredited university thats transformed adult lives for 75 years. Youre not waiting to win, youre ready to succeed again at umgc. Edu. Extra cold. Was this fire persons day hard enough for a mikes hard lemonade, joel . Was it . fire truck sirens hey cat hissing keep it cool, cool cat. Hard days deserve a hard lemonade we really dont want people to think of feeding food like ours is spoiling their dogs. Good, real food is simple. It looks like food, it smells like food, its what dogs are supposed to be eating. No living being should ever eat processed food for every single meal of their life. Its amazing to me how many people write in about their dogs changing for the better. The farmers dog is just our way to help people take care of them. [ cheers and applause ] seth give it up for the fantastic 8g band, everybody. Back with us on drums tonight, hes a fourtime grammynominated drummer who began his career at age 17 with Bruce Springsteen and the e street band. For the last decade, he was behind kit with the heavy metal band slipknot. Now you can catch him on tour with skate punk legends suicidal tendencies. For more information check him out on instagram. Jay weinberg is here, everybody. Thank you so much for being here with us, jay. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is a talented actor and director you know from films such as loving, boy erased, the boys in the boat, and red sparrow. He stars in dark matter, which premieres may 8th on apple tv plus. Lets take a look. A box that would it would allow a person to travel across the multiple realities of quantum physics. What if he used that box to travel to my world . What if the person that abducted me is me . Seth please welcome back to the show our friend Joel Edgerton, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, my friend [ cheers and applause ] i mean, im not just saying this. Maybe best beard weve ever had on a guest. Really . Seth well its like it feels like perfect symmetry. Like if you turn it upside down, it would also work. [ light laughter ] youve never had Nick Offerman on here . Seth oh, yeah. Youre right. Never mind. Yeah, hes the best beard in the business. Seth offermans is better, youre right. Yeah. Seth well im trying. Seth youre honest, though. You came right out and gave me a better beard. [ light laughter ] its been a while. Im so happy to see you in person. I havent seen you in person since before the pandemic. 2019. Seth yeah. All of these world events are trying to keep us apart. Seth and now were together again. And now were together. Seth and the chemistry is everything i remember. That cuddle backstage [ light laughter ] was amazing. Seth this is based on a book i read and really enjoyed. And its thrilling to watch it adapted. And also i think one of the things that probably helps the adaptation is author of the book, blake crouch yeah. Seth was actually the show runner of the show. He wrote the book. He wrote the screenplays and he was the showrunner and he finally thank god hes not a good actor because i would be out of a job. [ light laughter ] he literally did everything and he was daddy for everything that we needed. [ light laughter ] seth and i should note, like, it makes a lot of sense to have somebody like that on board because this is intricately plotted. A lot of big ideas about quantum physics. Parallel universes. Yeah, somebodys got to keep an eye on all of the infinite possibilities. Seth yeah. You get to i mean, you always said, like, your issue with the universe is there was only one of you. And so this show [ laughter ] yeah. I i kept joking in the early phases of it, its like ive always wanted to work with myself. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and i finally got to do it. And i have to say, i wouldnt recommend it. [ light laughter ] especially doing fight scenes seth yeah. With yourself. Seth right. Because, you know, i wanted i play a physics teacher. You know, on one version of myself i fail not a failed physics teacher but a physics teacher whos not really happy with his work. Seth unsatisfied, yeah. Yeah, and i kept trying to underline to the stunt guys that this physics teacher doesnt run off to tae kwon do classes every couple of days. Seth yeah. So having two Science Teachers fight each other was the challenge. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] i mean itll be better than that, but seth yeah, yeah, yeah. We did see, you know, and again you know, you are who you are, but theres a, you know, we did see a Science Teacher early on with his shirt off and im like, i think top. 1 of Science Teachers have that torso. [ light laughter ] well, if you have the science, you can just inject the right things into yourself, you know what i mean . [ laughter ] seth there you go. Not that im doing that, by the way. Seth no, of course. [ light laughter ] you talk we were talking about red sparrow i think last time you were in person and we were saying you would make a bad spy in real life. Yeah. Seth how do you think you would fare as a physicist . As a physicist id make a great spy. [ laughter ] i think i would honestly, my brother was brilliant in maths and physics. I was not brilliant at any of those things. And yeah, i just wouldnt make id blow things up, and it wouldnt be on purpose. Seth right, yeah. [ light laughter ] thats why they say the difference between scientist and trouble maker is did they mean the explosion, right . Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth like, in a different world, oppenheimers just a bad kid, you know . [ laughter ] i dont necessarily think there would be an actual profession, like, professional vocation that i would have been really good at. Seth its interesting you say your brother was good at math and science, because you did ultimately end up in similar career paths. Well interestingly, physics is a big part of stunt. My brother started as a stunt guy. Seth i did not and i didnt realize how much physics goes into it. I mean when youre thinking about the balance of the weight of a car thats flying through the air and which way its gonna land and so on, physics does play a big part of it. And then just stupidity plays the other part. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Right. They say the kids that are both really smart and really dumb in physics class, theyre like, thought about stunts . [ laughter ] yeah. So, i dont you know, acting is not a science, thats for sure. And its relatively uncomplicated. I really dont think i would have made a great scientist, mathematician, anything. I dont even know that im a great actor, to be honest. [ light laughter ] seth but this is this show does also like the physics side, it also explores like the choices we make and, you know, how we could, like, make a choice early on and diverge, and sort of career choice is one of those things. What you say that, but what are there any other things you examined doing as a young person . Yeah, there was a point where i was going off to become an actor and i thought i might go to a Fine Arts School and be a painter and seth so you found something that made, like was less like sure thing. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth youre like, i cant have one of these boring, you know, punch in, punch out acting jobs. Yeah, i mean, like, today you could probably buy one of my paintings for 15 in a market somewhere in an alternate universe. I really sometimes i mean this show really led me in for those reasons of wondering about the accumulative choices you make and where its gotten you to this point today. And whether you have gratitude for where you are or whether you regret certain things. I dont believe in regrets anymore. I used to. But it does make me curious to take a peek at the other versions of what your life could have been. Seth you you currently this has been somethi