Horrible for the whole country. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert changes to russian announcer russia week russian music playing tonight, stephen welcomes keeganmichael key, Cillian Murphy. Featuring jon batiste and stay human, and stephen with the latenight special in st. Petersburg. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen hey how are ya . Thank you, ladies and gentlemen piano riff thanks, everybody welcome to the late show, im your host Stephen Colbert. Folks, i know its comedy show but i have some sad news tonight. As of 10 48 p. M. Eastern last night, the g. O. P. Healthcare bill was pronounced dead of terminal sucking. cheers and applause yeah. I clap when im heartbroken, too. You cover the pain. It was always a long shot because the republicans control only all three branches of government. laughter cant be expected to do everything. The final blow was delivered last night, when utah senator and man failing to get anyone to raise the roof, mike lee, and kansas senator and grey alien who found a can of bronzer, jerry moran, released statements opposing the bill at the exact same time. It was the rare case of simultaneous nogasm. laughter it is hard to overstate the level of failure here. The g. O. P. Crushed their car at 90 miles an hour into a cliff with a grin on their face. laughter its like if batman vs. Superman took a pontiac aztek to Blockbuster Video to rent the lone ranger and watch it on laser disc. Thats how badly they failed. laughter republicans said one thing for the last four elections we need to repeal and replace obamacare. Repeal and immediately replace the failures of obamacare. Repeal and replace obamacare. Repeal obamacare and replace it. We will repeal and we will replace. Repeal obamacare and replace it. Repeal and replace. Repeal and replace. Repeal and replace it. Stephen it was your one job. laughter its your tagline, its your motto, its paul ryans tramp stamp. cheers and applause piano riff he looks good. Jon got that footage, boy oh, yeah stephen looks good. And it wasnt just the house of representatives and the senate, it was also the chucklehead in chief. The first thing were going to do is repeal and replace obamacare. My first day in office, im going to ask congress to put a bill on my desk because we will terminate obamacare and replace it, believe me, with something good. Believe me. Stephen i dont. laughter believe me, i dont. cheers and applause piano riff not then, not now. Never hey, remember, two months ago when trump and the g. O. P. Threw an old white guy party celebrating when the house passed their version of the bill. Guys, were going to have so many chickens. Lets start counting now, that celebration seems almost as embarrassing as Lyndon Johnsons victory in vietnam luau. laughter but the republicans have a great backup plan. Senate majority leader and man describing the size of his prostate, Mitch Mcconnell, can introduce a bill simply repealing obamacare with no replacement. You know, just take it away and dont fix it. You know, how when your car gets a flat tire, you remove the tire, then cut the brakes and let it roll into a crowd of uninsured old people. laughter jon oh, yeah, yeah. Stephen trump likes the plan, tweeting, as i have always said, let obamacare fail and then come together and do a great healthcare plan. Stay tuned yes, stay tuned. Because repealing your healthcare is the hottest new reality show no survivors. laughter applause piano riff so its decided. Its going to happen. So its decided. The whole leadership got together and decided it. This morning, they announced theyre going to repeal now and replace later. And tonight. Its already dead. laughter oh, Mitch Mcconnell cant be happy about this. Can we get a look at mitch . Nah, he actually looks good. Thats him happy, i think. Jon wow, wow. Stephen this is a good time to remind you that when they knew barack obama would veto it, the g. O. P. Voted more than 60 times to repeal obamacare. But now that they can actually do it, they dont have the balls. All those times they voted, they must have been yanking their own lever. But, now, when they have a republican president , they cant get their vote up. So trumpcare is officially deader than the people who wouldnt have healthcare if trumpcare passed, who would have been dead if trumpcare passed. But the president had some interesting math to turn this into a win. If you look at it, 484. Thats a pretty impressive vote by any standard. And yet you have a vote of 48 to 4 or Something Like that, and you need more . Thats pretty tough. laughter stephen 48 to four . That adds up to 52, not 100. You just ignored all the democratic votes. Everythings a success by that logic. If you just take out that one iceberg, the titanic had a fantastic maiden run. laughter fastest trip to the bottom of the ocean ever. All right . Tremendous boat. Tremendous boat. piano riff applause but perhaps the best part of trumps reaction was this real, actual screengrab from fox news with the lower third trump eventually we will get something done. laughter so, eventually, we will get something done. So, once again, its time to update the hat. Eventually something. laughter so all their plans come to naught and all their lies. They lied to their voters and people who trusted them. So they dont repeal and replace, and repeal and delay is already dead. So whats the plan . Well, trump has one, telling reporters this afternoon i think were probably in that position where well let obamacare fail. Were not going to own it. Im not going to own it. Stephen no, not going to own it. Very president ial, explains the sign on trumps desk that says whose buck is this . I think obama left this here. laughter of course, like politics, we work in a tough business, show business is tough. Stars rise and fall, friends become enemies, nobody buys your contemporary country album. Its painful. laughter and, right now, no one knows better how cutthroat show business can be than the muppets. Because kermit the frog and disney are sparring over the performers ugly muppet firing. Makes sense that thered be trouble. I mean, kermit does come to work naked every day. H. R. Cant like that. laughter and both sides are angry. The performer, steve whitmire, called his dismissal a betrayal after a career devoted to carrying on the legacy of jim henson. And disney fired back by describing whitmire as hostile to coworkers and overly difficult. And jim hensons daughter cheryl said, steve performed kermit as a bitter, angry, depressed victim. laughter so he might not be able to voice kermit the frog anymore, but he sounds like a good replacement for sean spicer. laughter cheers and applause piano riff bitter . Something like that . This firing follows fraught business meetings, where the kermit performer played brinkmanship very aggressively in contract negotiations. And its true. It got bad. In fact, we at the late show have actually acquired exclusive footage is this exclusive . Exclusive footage of kermits contract negotiations. Gentlemen, weve worked together a long time and i think there is something we need to keep in mind as we enter these delegate negotiation. I am kermit, kermit the freakin frog ill make a connection with my foot to your ass this comes down to one question, do i look like a bitch . Why are you trying to screw me . Look into my eyes. Look at me cheers and applause oh, dont do it stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Keegan michael key is here. But when we return, ive got more of my trip to russia. We talk to the people stick around we, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. We want hd. And every box and dvr. All included. Because we dont like surprises. Yeah. Like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. And talented. Really. And british. Switch from cable to directv. Get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for 25 a month. Call 1800directv. To you need moreong againsthan a conditioner,. You need a miracle. Pantene 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Has a super concentrated prov formula. That makes hair stronger in just 3 minutes. So your hair is smoother everyday. Pantene 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Because strong is beautiful. Vo jacks got your back. Hits, jack somebody craving my smoky jack burger . Vo the smoky jack burger combo for 4. 99. Vo hickorysmoked bacon, smoked cheddar cheese, vo all on an artisan poppyseed bun. Vo plus fries and a refreshing drink. Vo all for just 4. 99. Man thanks, jack jack youre welcome. Vo the new smoky jack burger combo for just 4. 99. Vo only at jack in the box. band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody thank you, maddie cheers and applause well, folks, were terribly excited around here because it is day two of russia week at the late show. Yesterday, we kicked things off by showing my collusion with a russian late night host on staterun tv. So far, nobody has asked me to testify before congress, and, i have to admit, im a little hurt. laughter when my executive producer chris originally pitched the idea of us traveling to russia, i didnt want to go because i thought the story wouldve blown over by now. Ha ha. laughter turns out, americans are more suspicious of russian meddling than ever before. But i wanted to hear what everyday russians think about the scandal. Do they believe russia tampered with our election . And what do they think about americans in general . Do they like us . Do they like like us . laughter if so, why havent they asked us to winter formal yet . So i took to the streets of st. Petersburg, the former capital and current weirder prague to talk to ordinary russians. Jim . Hacking of american elections. Secret backchannels. Pee pee tapes. There are a lot of allegations swirling around the russian people right now. So i flew to st. Petersburg, russia on the summer solstice for the white nights festival to see how the people felt about those accusations and to find some common ground. High five high five high five high five high five sup . Im stephen. Misha, nice to meet you. Stephen may i stroke your beard . Do whatever, up to you. Thank you. Stephen i feel like weve gotten close pretty fast. Okay, are you a hacker . No, im afraid not. Stephen youre not a hacker. If you were a hacker, would you admit that youre a hacker . Well, i wouldnt admit it. Stephen you wouldnt admit it if you were . Thats what youre saying. Thats as good as admitting it right now. Im here with maria and vitaly, and they just got married. Congratulations. Im going to give each of you a potato. Im going to make a statement and, if you agree, hold up your potato. Okay. Stephen please do not eat the potato because i will need those back. Do you think that officials in the Trump Administration collaborated with russia to influence our election. No potato, no potato on that one. Okay, do you think its all just america blaming everything on the russians . Unanimous potato, thats the rare unanimous potato. Were not so different. We have riverfront douchebags where i come from, too alexei, because youre wearing camouflage, i might not be able to see you at some point during this interview. Thats exactly right. Im a very small, stealthy person. Stephen whos talking . I can hear his voice, but i cant see him the camouflage is too good what do you do for a living . Im a mathematician. Stephen a mathematician. Thats a natural for a hacker. Are you sure youre not a hacker . Quite sure. Stephen quite sure or completely sure . On a scale of one to two, how sure are you that youre not a hacker . Well, two is. Uhh . Stephen two is you dont even know what a computer is. One is, yeah i did it, im a hacker. Well, oh, maybe four. Stephen four . Thats off the scale. Thats not in my scale. The only way you could have added a four to my scale is if you hacked it. Show of potatoes have you heard of donald trump . We have potatoes. Okay. Would your potato be a better president than donald trump . laughter half a potato im going half a potato on that one. Donald trump wants to build a border wall between the United States and mexico. Have you heard about that . Yeah. Stephen you guys built a really good one in berlin, and youre not using it anymore, can we have it . No, i think the germans took it. Stephen the germans took it . Thats so like them. Show of potatoes do you think that your president , president putin, has influence over our president , President Trump . Im gonna go potato. Do you know who i am . Yeah i know. May i. Stephen who am i . Who am i . You are very cool guy from u. S. A. Stephen do you know my name . Jimmy colbert . Stephen its ivan and Jimmy Colbert applause before i left, there was one last thing i had to do. Ill have one corn please one. And if you have it, ill also take the peepee tape. jazz playing this is a game they play here in the summertime. This is called guess the jazz man. Where a famous jazz musician, hides behind a wok, i think its john coltrane. I love russia cheers and applause thank you, st. Petersburg join us tomorrow for my interview with a reallife russian oligarch, mikhail prokhorov. 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And how has the year been . How has the year been for you . The years been very good. I mean, i spent the majority of it in a deep fog, in a profound depression. No, we were working on friends from college when the election happened. Stephen thats your Netflix Series. The Netflix Series im on now. What was interesting because the end of that day was interesting because we were shooting, it was so funny, because it would be, like, listen, i dont know if you understand where im coming from. And, cut, and everyone would run to a tv and watch the tv. No, what is this fiction . Whats happening here . Im not sure what were watching you would be literally in a scene acting and somebody would whisper, he just won North Carolina while youre in the scene, i love you so huh . I love you stephen and hes standing over there going, he just won North Carolina i find just crying on air helps. Yes. Stephen just let it out. Its for everybody. Stephen congratulations. What a privilege and honor it is to be in hamlet. Absolutely. Stephen youre in hamlet at the public theater, youre playing horatio, which is hamlets buddy. His best friend, yes. Stephen i cant be the only one who is saying, really, that amazingly funny guy is doing the tragedy. Why do you want to do tragedy because youre one of the funniest guys i know. Its funny. My entire career stephen no, answer the damn question. Water is for closers. Im sorry. laughter applause its a. B. C. , not a. B. D. always be closing, not always be drinking get it together i was a dramaticallytrained actor, i went to school, i was a shakespeareantrained actor and that was always the plan, and my career went on a 19year detour into sketch comedy. Stephen wow. Ive wanted to play horatio for about 23 years. When i was in grad school i remember seeing the big hamlet in the movie theaters and i remember seeing nicholas ferrell, and i wanted to play horatio so bad. Stephen you tinted want to play hamlet . I like to keep my expectations right here so theres no disappointment. Stephen at a certain point did you think ill never get back there because im a comedy guy . I did. The team has made a real effort to turn the ship because its been something thats important to me. Jordan peele has been extremely supportive in this endeavor. Hes, like, go get your drama on, bro get your drama on thats how jordan talks, get your drama on laughter stephen so youre doing it with the lovely and talented oscar isaacs. Yes. Stephen who is juilliard trained. Yes. Stephen does he ever flex his juilliard on you . Could i go on record with the juilliard, stephen. He went to juilliard and got his little degree. I have a masters degree i have a masters degree i have a masters degree in theatre i learned a whole bunch of stuff in school and they only learned acting stephen wow, youre a master in acting. Im a master in fine arts and acting. No, but hes so much better than i. laughter stephen prince hamlet has what we and those in shakespeare circles call bleep . Oscar is so good at making everything really clear. If youve never seen hamlet, this would be the production to see because the language is so accessible when he says it. I get a little envious he gets these monologues, an