Mcconnell of killtuckey. Dawn of the bill. It just wont die. But theres a good chance you will. Dawn of the bill, rated r for really, this thing again . Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes jeff bridges. Senator jeff flake. And musical guest miguel. Stay man. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey, whats going on. Hey, everybody. Please have a seat, ladies and gentlemen. Youre too kind. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause folks, this week this week, those of you who watch the news, this week in washington, d. C. , the thinkable happened. Republicans are trying to repeal and replace obamacare, again. This is beyond beating a dead horse. This is getting damn close to beastality, okay. I hope that horse has a safe word. Pumpkin patch is what i recommend. You might remember, back in july, republicans tried a plan called the better care reconciliation act. It would have cut medicaid,incrt millions uninsured. Whereas, this new bill has a different name. This ones called the grahamcassidy bill. And south dakota senator john thune paid one of its authors the ultimate compliment, saying, i just told bill cassidy hes kind of the grave robber. This thing was six feet under, and i think hes revived it. Te grave robbing is a big part of the new plan. You know, get yourself a new hip or dentures, or Something Like that. It offers complete shovel coverage. But the g. O. P. Needs to move fast because, due to senate rules that i refuse to learn about, theyre facing a september 30 deadline. Its a race against the clock. Theyve got ten days to overhaul the Healthcare System, or everybody lives. laughter in fact. cheers and applause . Jon they all lived. Im ready to live. Im ready. Stephen so, thank you. Were all gonna die in fact, this is being done in such a rush that the Congressional Budget Office wont estimate the full effects of Obamacare Repeal until after the vote deadline. Well, that there is just good health care. Like when you go to the Doctors Office and he says, mr. Smith, we wont have your test results for a week, but in the meantime, just start munching on that bowl of pills over there. Now its a complex bill that reworks, i think it is, onesixth, onesixth of the Worlds Largest economy. So before the vote, republicans have set aside 90 secothoreyin maofre in deteughly the am. Ount of time it takes to microwave a frozen burrito. Both will kill you. laughter now, t lttlerink gettinthish dee,s a including e 10 days that are left to vote are, three jewish holy days, which the senate has off. But that doesnt bother senator Lindsey Graham, who said, i want to honor every religions holiday. But then added, harry reid had a vote on obamacare on christmas eve. That doesnt even make sense, because christmas is the sacred story of how a woman gave birth in a barn with no healthcare, and it was fine. Worked out great cheers and applause perfect perfect now, heres how the plan works. The plan takes the money from obamacares Medicaid Expansion that 31 states opted in to five years ago, or something. And turns that into a pool that gets redivided into block grants to all the states whether they opted in five years ago or not. So that means states like my home state of new york loses a lot of money, while my home state of South Carolina would get a lot of money. So half of me is totally on board with this. Ponsorlindsa graham, explains it this way i like massachusetts. I like maryland. I like new york. I like california. But i dont like them that much to give them a bunch of money that the rest of us wont get. Stephen plus, you know were just going to spend it on lattes and npr and gay cakes. cheers and applause the cake is gay, right . Jon right, Something Like that. Stephen for a gay wedding, the cake itself has to be gay. Thats the complaint, isnt it . laughter all right. Heres will deal, you know who cares a lot about obamacare . Obama. Remember that guy . Rememberam applause jon great guy. Really tall. Stephen what . Jon really tall. Stephen very tall, very tall thats what hes known for. Heres what obama said today this is something i always had to emphasize to my staff when i was president better is good. laughter you laugh, but sometimes people forget that. I will take better every time. So thats whats needed today. Stephen i miss you. laughter applause cheers but just for my own self here, jimmy, can we put that picture of him back up . Look how gray hes gotten. Thats how bad donald trump is obamas aging faster watching someone else be president. Obama knows himcare isnt and bhau obama is somewhat passe about this. When i see people trying to undo that hardwon progress for the 50th or 60th time with bills that would raise costs or reduce coverage or roll back protections for Older Americans or people with preexisting conditions, it is aggravating. Stephen sir, i know youre famously evenkeeled, but americans are more than aggravated. Im pouring bourbon on my breakfast, and my breakfast is scotch. laughter applause but trump economic adviser Stephen Moore explained whats driving the latest republican push to repeal obamacare people want insurance for their own families, not for other peoples families. What a compassionate man. Its all summed up in his new line of greeting cards happy birthday, grandma. If we werent related, id leave you to die. Based on a true story. Funny, because its true. Cers , well, folks, theres a Company Ready to help. It was hard finding insurance that covered only my family. Luckily, winicure insurance does just that. Winnacker insurance, insurance for just the winnicker family of ohio and no one else. Its built on the idea that im a winnacker, and we deserve health care. Others might too, but i dont know. Its not my problem. And winnicker is only 20 a month. Unless youre sick, then it could be thousands of dollars. With a riesk pool of only three people, and our dog, champers, prices can get volatile. But i cant imagine being sick because im health you now. And now isnt the future. Its now. I love now. Winnacker insurance, because only you matter. Everyone else is probably just a hologram. cheers and applause jon right in the heart. Right in heart. Stephen right somewhere, somewhere gets me somewhere. You can tell abuse the elmos are harassing people in other language. Donald trump hosted a lunc afcaneaderhor im greatly honored to host this lunch, to be joined by the leaders of coote divoire, ethiopia, ghana, guinea, nambia. Nambias Health System is increasingly selfsufficient. Stephennow, there is no such country as nambia. Despite that, they will soon have a better Healthcare System than we do. laughter applause i might move to nambia. I hear very good things. Jon i never heard of that i. Stephen i might go go of to nambia. He went on to praise the african republicans of nambla, wangotango, and wakanda. We must secure our supplies of vibranium. I want to thank Prime Minister chaka khan, thank you so much for being here. So wonderful. Of course, everyones still talking about his g oeebi ts loh e u. Rdth y it. Lets see how chief of staff john kelly felt. Here he is listening to trump. laughter applause that is the happiest he has looked since he took the job. Im sorry, general, but when you open your eyes, hes still going to be there. Of course, the main focus of trumps speech was north korea which was also the focus of his traditional postspeech twitter rant. The American Flag emoji has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy noko. Noko . Jon noko. Stephen noko. That really makes north korea sound leak a gent riified neighborhood. Have you been to noko . Theyve got whole foods now, in that they have one whole food. I think its a bell pepper. Ha. Jon thats a big old pepper. Stephen and today, the u. N. Got a visit from first lady, melania trump, who spoke passionately about the dangers of bullying. We must teach each child the values of empathy and communication that are at the core of the kindness, mindfulness, integrity, and leadership, which can only be taught by example. Stephen yes, i couldnt agree more kindness, integrity, teaching by example. Quick question have you met your husband . laughter cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Jeff bridges is here. But when we return, possibly the Worst Campaign ad ever, and the president weighs in on the emmys. Stick around. And other classics you love. As much as you want, however you want them. But hurry, endless shrimp wont be here long. As much as you want, vo jacks got your back. Hits, jack somebody craving my smoky jack burger . Vo the smoky jack burger combo for 4. 99. Vo hickorysmoked bacon, smoked cheddar cheese, vo all on an artisan poppyseed bun. Vo ink. Plusries vo all on an artisan poppyseed and aal rl for just in4e man thanks, jack jack youre welcome. Vo the new smoky jack burger combo for just 4. 99. cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human right over there. Right there. Isnt this a lovely crowd . Jon yeah. Stephen isnt this just an amazing crowd . You people are absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much. cheers and applause the energy is exactly what you want. And you know please, have a seat. And its good to be with friend like these right now. Because these are dark times. These are times that try mens souls right now, especially for the people of topuichoo, rhurrican we maria over the la4 hours. That entire island is without power. So i hope everyone down there, all those american citizens are safe. But i know that cant be the case. Same goes for the people of mexico city, who suffered a 7. 1 magnitude earthquake yesterday. So if youre looking to help, go to colbertlateshow. Com. Weve got some suggestions of where you can donate. Now, donald trump i have to say has been pretty good about responding during these disasters over the next several weeks. Last night he tweeted god bless the people of mexico city. We are with you and will be there for you. Puerto rico being hit hard by new monster hurricane. Be careful, our hearts are with you will be there to help that is a strong and president ial response that lasted for about 18 minutes, because then he tweeted about something that truly seemed to upset him i was saddened to see how bad the ratings were on the emmys last night the worst ever. Smartest people of them all are the deplorables. now, wait a second. That cant be right. Worst ratings of all. I swear i heard someone at the emmys say they were the highest rated ever. I guess. I guess. cheers and applause i find this hard to believe jon i rememberngeoeit. B sed about. Im no ent s aadutbo emmys. But i do want to point out. rsnd a ause la i do want to point out that every single part of that tweet was factually inaccurate. The emmys werent last night. From when he tweeted it. They were sunday night i checked the tv schedule, and you must have been watching ncis new orleans. So sad about whats going on in new orleans. So many naval crimes. Strengthen our military. And it wasnt the worstrated emmys, because according to the nielsen ratings, 11. 4 Million People watched it, slightly more than last years lowestever audience of 11. 3 million. Thats right we had the secondworst ratings of all time. In your face we suck less we suck less we suck lss weuck less thank you. Id like that crocheted on a pillow, you thank you. Speaking of sucking, the 2018 midterms are starting to heat up already. For instance, heres an example virginias 10th is up for grabs between incumbent republican lady whos seriously gonna lose it if you dont start using a coaster, barbara comstock; and democrat challenger and man introducing his tree to his parents, dan helmer. Now, helmer is a west point grad, army veteran, and successful businessman; and hes running in a purple district, so this is a race he can actual win, unless anyone sees his new campaign ad. Jim . Hey, dan, isnt that congresswoman comstock back there at the bar . Sure is. Bet you cant get her to hold a town hall. Town hall . I can do you one better than that. Weve lost that lovin feeling. No, dan. clears throat you never hold town halls anymore with constituents planned parenthood and obamacare you voted against youre trying hard not to show it but barbara, barbara you know it youve lost that centrist feeling cause youve been right wing appealing laughter stephen okay, thats enough no one knows how that ad ends, because thats the farthest anyone has ever made it. Erughtla congratulations congresswoman barbara comstock. But maybe its just me. Maybe other people like it. Chief of staff john kelly, what did you think of the ad . Well be right back with jeff bridges. Stick around ill have the langoustine lobster ravioli. For you, sir . The original call was for langoustine ravioli. A langoustine is a tiny kind of lobster. A slight shellfish allergy rules that out, plus my wife ordered the langoustine. I will have chicken tenders and tater tots. If youre a ref, you way overexplain things. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance you switch to geico. Sir, we dont have tater tots. Its what you do. I will have nachos hello moto. Itstispmeea to r. Reagim ine a projector. Th a camera that actually zooms. Get excited world. The new moto z with moto mods. Get a moto z play for only 10 a month. No tradein required. Nosy neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. What happens next . Nothing. Only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. Guaranteed. Even the most perceptive noses wont notice the trash. Be happy. Its glad. Boy this is the story of applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back. Thanks so much, folks. Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an Academy Award winning actor, musician, artist, r who now stars in kingsman the golden hecircle. S at what point are you going to start behaving like a statesman . You going to go back to being a rodeo clown . No, sir. I approximation, sir. Im champagne, but anyone who knows whats good for them, calls me champ. Stephen please welcome the dude himself, jeff bridges. Sir. Nice to meet you. Come on up cheers and applause stephen it is its lovely to see you. Its always good to be here with you, stephen. Stephen i think one of the first times we ever had a chance to talk on the old, we talked backstage afterwards, which was iga joy g for me. And i said i just get relaxed looking at you. Youre a notoriously chill dude, if youll pardon the expression. Well, thats good, yeah. Stephen how do in 2017 . Because this might be the leastchill year of my lifetime. Its so weird, isnt it my god stephen everybody is so tense. Well, you know, im just taking the weirdness, and im kind of working with it. You know im stephen youre working the weird . Im inspired to engage union you know because the impulse is to throw up your hands. You know stephen withdraw. Just, you know, be cynical about the whole thing come on, its so damn stephen you cant be. Cynicism takes you away from love. There you go. Stephen yeah. So i try to create the kind of world that i want to live in, i want my kid to live in. And i, you know, start, you know, call to action kind of. Thats how im taking it. Stephen do you do any exercises . Youre a spiritual person, i think, a philosophical person. I meditate a little bit. Stephen do you have any spiritual exercises you can share . Well, i heard do you have a hunk of clay there . Were going to do a little ceramic thing, maybe. Stephen we we we do have a hunk of clay. applause well, we could do that. Stephen ill tell you what, why dont we earn it. Well talk a little bit about the movie and this will be right here. I like that. Stephen thats a good smell, that clay. You know what that smells like . Possibilities. Do ttster cool . Well, you know, my publicist, jean seavers, she did a little of the preinterview before me. She was trying to ive been in london. I have jet lag. She said, ill do a little bit for you. He said, i did a little bit for you. I told him you like to buy gossip magazines. I said, jean, come oyoure blowing my whole zen, chill kind of thing. Stephen no, bu heard that. I heard you like tot b iuy gossp magazines. Was she telling the truth . Shes telling the truth. Stephen you mean like us weekly . Whatever. Its sort of a ceremony when i go into the airport, i gotta go and hit the, you know, the racks. I just stephen you have to know most of the people in the magazine. No, thats the weird thing. I start to now as i get on in age, i dont recognize hardly any of these guys. laughter but its, you know, its nice to keep up. Inquiring minds. Stephen would want to know. Now youre in serge kingsman, it going giving away hospital headquarterheadquarters are blo. They come to the United States and theres an american version of it. What is it called . Were the statesmen. Im the head of the statesmen. My name is champagne. My character doesnt like to be referred to as champagne. Ufru. He goes for champ. Stephen you have sexy costars. Bar. Stephen moore. Channing tatum. Stephen you ever see magic mike . I had dinner with him last night, and he told me theyre doing hes producing and directing a live version of that show. Stephen a live magic mike . Isnt that just called a strip club . I think theres one right down the street here in new york. A whole bunch of them are going on at once. This one is in vegas. Stephen oh, so its so its legal. Yeah, there you go. Stephen so tell the story of the movie but i dont know. Is he in it . No, he directed it, and produced it and stephen id go so that. Yeah. Stephen would you go see that . Hes terrific. He has a wonderful dance number in kingsman one of my favorite parts. Stephen really . Yeah. Stephen shirtless . Im not giving anything away, stephen. No. laughter . Stephen lets sell some tickets, is what im saying. laughter well, statesmen are from kentucky. Uhhuh. Stephen right . Thats where the headquarters is. Theyre each named after a different kind of booze. Stephen or Something Like that. Have you spent any time in kentucky . Its a nice place. Yeah. whistling i was there, you know, earlier in the year. I happen to have been on the winning horse. Stephen at the derby . Kentucky der. S