Thank you. But lets get back to the president. You know him well . I had a chance to travel all across the country with the president on Trump Force One. Stephen Trump Force One is not a thing. Youre insane. Look, you can be as condescending as you want. Stephen i can. Good to know. I love your forehead. Is it true its the inspiration behind the film three billboards . Okay, tell me what its like being a psychotic lapdog whos a mouthpiece for a mentally incompetent narcissist . Why dont you give me three minutes to tell you the truth about donald trump that i know. Stephen okay, the floor is yours. Tell me about the donald trump that you know. Tragic and unfortunate. laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight president oprah, plus stephen welcomes liam neeson, Michael Wolff, and musical guests andra day and common, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen thank you very much hey, everybody thank you very much thank you thank you thank you, joe welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause lovely people here tonight. Let me ask you here something, anybody see last nights episode of oprah . cheers and applause so great. Now, some people are calling it the golden globes. It was easily one of the most powerful, moving, meaningful nights of beautiful millionaires giving each other trophies. And oprah gave a speech that was moving, even for oprah. I want all the girls watching here, now, to know that a new day is on the horizon cheers and applause and when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say me too again. cheers and applause stephen someone give that woman an award for winning an award. cheers and applause piano riff people were immediately calling the speech president ial. And a year ago, i would have agreed. Jon whoa, whoa. laughter stephen but these days it plays a little coherent. laughter now, oprahs denying any political ambitions, but two of her Close Friends told cnn she is actively thinking about running for president. cheers and applause thats interesting. I would love to hear that the state of the union is stroong laughter whoo cheers and applause but a note of caution do we really want to elect another billionaire tv star . Granted, this one is actually a billionaire and actually a tv star. That said, one of the things that inspires me most about oprah is that i believe shes reasonable enough to consider the possibility that being a billionaire tv star doesnt necessarily qualify you to have the launch codes. laughter then again, if we did go toe to toe with north korea, i bet she could calm kim jongun down just by helping him lose weight. laughter its a point system. Its all points, right . You can eat anything you want i love pasta i love kim chi, i love all of it jon yes stephen but a lot of people think oprah belongs in government. For instance, donald trump would you consider a woman for your running mate, and, if so, who . I threw out the name of a friend of mine who i think the world of. Shes great. Oprah. Oprah winfrey. Shes really great. Stephen so if you need any more proof that trump is delusional, he thinks oprah would take vice president. laughter no. Huhuh. Hmm mmm. laughter applause speaking of delusional, a little bit later on, ill be talking to author of the Trump White House tellall, fire and fury, Michael Wolff. cheers and applause i believe, if im not mistaken, an exclusive, this is the only interview hes doing for the his book. All the others were interviews about when he would be interviewed for the book. The b ook is just packed with nuggets of ohmygod. Is if you havent read it yet, heres the cliff notes trump dumb. Staff worried. For instance, when one of his advisers sat down with trump to explain the constitution, he says, i got as far as the Fourth Amendment before his finger is pulling down on his lip and his eyes are rolling back in his head. laughter cheers and applause piano riff boring. Get to the part with the rapping and the music. I cant believe this thing won a tony. Wheres pumba . laughter you know, Thomas Jefferson himself said acumbametada. laughter this book has led a lot of people to question whether trump is mentally stable enough to be president. Spoiler alert but on saturday, trump slapped back the notion that hes incompetent, tweeting, actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. laughter applause jon laughter piano riff being like really smart is not the same thing as being really smart. laughter tootsie rolls are like chocolate, if chocolate was made of brown wax and disappointment. laughter also, i think its worth mentioning that people who are mentally stable generally dont announce it. laughter if youre going under for surgery, the last thing you want your doctor to say is dont worry, im mentally stable and, like, really smart. laughter lets start stabbing cheers and applause piano riff he continued i went from very successful businessman, to top t. V. Star dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, to president of the United States on my first try. I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius dot, dot, dot, dot, and a very stable genius at that laughter jon wow. Stephen yes, thats very important, extremely important, okay . Look, im a very stable genius. Now, if youll excuse me, its past my cheeseburgers bedtime. Lets go. piano riff laughter i love you so much. laughter and we all know geniuses spend most of their time talking about how smart they are. I believe it was Rene Descartes who said, i think, therefore, i am, like, really smart. laughter and the trump tweettacular then swerved offroad to cite a flattering New York Post article his is turning out to be an enormously consensual presidency. laughter we did not consent. applause we had a safe word. cheers and applause sir, we agreed on a safe word. Its you lost the popular vote. cheers and applause now, if consensual seems like the wrong word, thats because it is. The actual quote is, an enormously consequential presidency. My presidency is very congenital, life begins at consumption, and by the way, my mental stability is extremely conjunctivitis. laughter yeah. Of course, the biggest source for Michael Wolffs book is former white house advisor, steve bannon. Im worried about steve, because thats what he looks like when things are going well. laughter hes gotten a lot of heat, because, in the book, bannon called don, jr. s trump tower meeting with russians treasonous and unpatriotic. But after getting attacked by the president and threatened with losing his job, he folded like an origami cuck, writing, donald trump, jr. Is both a patriot and a good man. There you have it. Don, jr. Is a patriot, so that meeting wasnt treasonous and unpatriotic. It was just treasonous. laughter weve got a great show for you tonight. cheers and applause liam neeson is here. But, when we come back, did you see Stephen Miller on jake tapper yesterday . We did stick around. cheers and applause band playing evacuations are underway as a meteor heads toward the metro area. Go, go, go, go, go we can fit more. But theres still more room. We gotta go. Juicer . We dont have a juicer the allnew volkswagen tiguan. It fits the everything you need, and everything you dont. Touch is how we communicate with those we love, but when your psoriasis is bad, does it ever get in the way . Embrace the chance of 100 clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to help people with moderate to severe psoriasis achieve completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Dont use if youre allergic to taltz. Before starting, you should be checked for tuberculosis. Taltz may increase risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or have symptoms, or if youve received a vaccine or plan to. Inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz, including worsening of symptoms. Serious allergic reactions can occur. Ready for a chance at 100 clear skin . Ask your doctor about taltz today. And go to taltz. Com to learn how to pay as little as 5 a month. The world is not flat. You cant just pinch it or swipe it. Theres a whole world out there and no other card lets you experience it like the platinum card. Backed by the service and security of american express. cheers and applause band playing Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody right there cheers and applause thats fantastic cheers and applause jon yeah, baby stephen well, im happy to be back, you know, at the show. I always love coming back on a monday, the awe yens is always energized, you know, ready to have a conversation cheers and applause i have to say, i was this much disappointed in this particular monday because if you remember, today was supposed to be the day, at 5 00 and we tape a little bit after 5 00 at 5 00, when donald trump was going to announce the winners of the biased and unfair media awards. He made up these media awards last week and said he would be announcing the winners. Jon yeah. Stephen we coined the term for these the fakeys and actually bought a billboard in times square, put it there, for your consideration, all categories. But then the only thing dumber than the president doing this would be him canceling it today and pushing it back to when . January 17th. A week from wednesday. For the president of the United States, again, the we survive that long jon yeah, never know. Stephen well be announcing it next wednesday. So well want the billboard to be up till then. Cut somebody a check, cbs. So it will be up till then. So wish us luck. applause jon yeah, yeah. Stephen i dont have it here. That fire and fury book that Michael Wolff hell be out here in a minute to talk about that that book really got under the president s skin because he thinks that thing is fake media, and the white house has had a tough week dealing with the allegations in that book. This week they sent out senior policied adviser and shaved pauly shore, Stephen Miller. applause jon wow is that him . Stephen thats him. Seems like a happy guy. Miller went on cnns id tap that with jake tapper to discredit the book. One of the tragedies of this is stephen he is a political genius who pieo neared Ground Breaking strategies like yelling and having a hat. laughter eventually, miller started to get upset with tapper its subtle, but see if you can spot it. Why dont you just give me three minutes to tell you the truth about the donald trump that i know and all of our Campaign Staff know because its my show and i dont want to do that. So. crosstalk settle down. Settle down. Calm down. Stephen oh my god, hes talking to miller like hes a 5yearold. But everyone knows that millers actual age is. 38, 61, or 15. Theres no way to tell. Unfortunately, telling Stephen Miller to calm down has the doesnt work you have 24 hours a day of antitrump material, and youre not going to give three minutes for the American People . I get it. There is one viewer that you care about right now, and youre being obsequious, youre being a factotum in order to please him. Okay . Stephen hold up. Did jake tapper just call Stephen Miller an obsequious factotum . Looks like somebody got a wordaday calendar for the holidays you, sir, are a sycophantic dogsbody, a lugubrious mountebank, a spurious, perfidious neerdowell finally, tapper had to cut him off. You know who i care about . You know who i care about . And i think ive wasted enough of my viewers time. Thank you, stephen. As republican lawmakers call for attorney general Jeff Sessions to resign, a major reversal. Stephen lets turn now to breaking news douchebag stops talking. News anchor questions career choices, wolf . But it turns out, miller wasnt done. cause its being reported that miller was asked to leave the set multiple times but refused, after which he was escorted out by security. Or as they call it in washington, the omarosa goodbye. Well be right back with liam neeson. cheers and applause band playing release the neeson before we hit the beach, ive gotta hit the loo. We cant stay here why . Flat toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Aww. avo compared to charmin ultra strong. Other toilet paper falls flat. Its washclothlike texture helps clean better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Beautiful view. Thanks to charmin. And you, honeybear. Awwwww. avo we all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . [ laughs ] rodney. Bowling. Classic. Can i help you . Its me. Jamie. Im not good with names. Celeste i trained you. We share a locker. Moose man yo. He gets two name your price tools. He gets two . I literally coined the phrase, we give you Coverage Options based on your budget. Thats me. Jamie yeah. Youre back from italy. [ both smooch ] ciao bella. [ both smooch ] doto be our next spokesperson . M hes so boring. Hm. Sounds like youre on the fence. Why dont i just leave you my resume . Yes, its laminated. No thanks. Youre hired try caramel m ms. Ow. Pain from a headache whcan make this. Ld,. Feel like this. Allinone cold symptom relief from tylenol®, the 1 doctor recommended pain relief brand. Tylenol®. cheers and applause band playing stephen welcome back, everybody ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an actor you know as oskar schindler, michael collins, alfred kinsey, and roger taken from the taken movies. Please welcome back to the show, liam neeson cheers and applause band playing stephen thank you so much hello, stephen. Stephen nice to see you again. Lovely to see you. Stephen that is a very debonair look you have right there that i dont think i could pull off. He came over to me and said, youve got a Steve Mcqueen thing happening. Do you know who Steve Mcqueen was . He just made my day. Stephen really . Thank you. Stephen also tom brokaw can pull this off. Liam neeson, youre very similar, the three of you. Thanks. Stephen how have you been . Cant complain. Havent been found out yet. Stephen havent been found out in what way is this that you feel like youre a fraud or something . Yes. Stephen join the club. Yes. Stephen yeah, you just call it imposter syndrome. Its waking up every morning and thinking, im an actor. People are paying me still to do movies and to beat up bad guys and stuff and stephen yeah. Im 65 and its great. laughter stephen and youre afraid that theyre going to find out . cheers and applause find out. Stephen that its too great . I did a movie with about ab y hopkins years ago. When we see each other we give each other a hug and i say, hows it going . He says, great, i havent been found out yet. And he believes it. laughter stephen what was the first movie you did . For the evangelical outreach, a films adaptation of pilgrims progress, still running in missions in africa, believe it or not, in 1977 or something. Stephen have you ever gone to africa and people go, pilgrims progress, youre the guy hey, its the pilgrims progress guy i know. I went to africa a couple of times and theyve dined kind of gone laughter stephen was there a star in movies when you were younging you went, i want to be that, thats my model, thats the person id like to learn from on vein south korean . It was all that bunch of actors in the joan ford films. Stephen john wain. Wain, ward bond, harr harry har, that little repertoire of actors. In this one, i have a little horrible beard. Stephen not a horrible beard. Ive done a western for the corn brothers, two more days to do. Stephen are you allowed to tell us what the name of the movie is . The ballad of buster scruggs. Stephen okay. And its six little separate westerns, all different stories, and im in one of them. Stephen black hat or white hat . I have a bowler hat. Stephen hard to read. And i dont have a six gun, unfortunately. Stephen oh. Well, you recently got cast in one of the most high profile and prestigious jobs you can get as an actor. Youre the voice of waze right now. So they tell me. You did it, too. Stephen i did it years ago, but you bring a certain charm, a certain gravity to giving directions to people. Like stephen like, as a great actor, when youre trying to say i know this is a setup. Stephen when youre trying to say turn left or right, whats your animal spine . What do you do . How do you get into the emotional head space in order to tell people youre approaching a stop . I would say turn left. The other left stephen turn right stephen do you mind if i try something . Sure. Stephen im going to give you a direction and an emotion to go to it. Say turn right with compassion . Turn right. cheers and applause stephen got me right here. If you dont want to turn right, turn left. laughter stephen all right, can you say merge ahead but menacingly . Merge. Ahead. Punk. laughter stephen and one frustrated make a uturn. Ah, make a uturn laughter stephen that would do it i wish i had an award to give you. Now, whats your relationship with technology . Oh, please technology, me . Have you heard of this thing called the kindle . Stephen yeah, ive heard about it. Its about yea size. Mine has a leather flap. Stephen cheap leather technology. No, its real leather. Stephen okay. And theres metal that switches it off. Stephen theres metal that switches it off, called a magnet. Thank you, i did do physics at university for one year, i know what a magnet is. However, this book, you can keep ten, 20, 100 books on it. Stephen sure. Do you have any sort of social Media Presence . Are you on facebook . No. Stephen twitter . No. Stephen instagram. No. Stephen snapchat . No. Stephen grinder . laughter you would do very well, my friend. This kindle is great because stephen did you just get a kindle . I just got a kindle. applause and if i was on location im an avid reader, so i would take 10, 12 books on loca