U. K. Stephen okay. That really appears kind of racist. I am, as i say often, i am the least racist person anybody is going to meet. Stephen okay. Does anybody else say that . Not that i know. Stephen final question, sir. Tomorrow, you will be giving your first state of the union address. Now, you have damaged our reputation around the world and permanently disgraced the highest office in the land all in just one year. I mean, its incredible. Its a record. Stephen congratulations. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight the grammys get political. Plus stephen welcomes julie chen, Joel Kinnaman and musical guest talib kweli featuring b. J. The chicago kid, with jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen whoo hey youre too kind. Ladies and gentlemen, im so excited to have you here welcome one and all, in here, out there, all around the world, welcome to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen thank you very much who here watched the grammys last night . cheers and applause it was a great show, especially because our friends jon batiste and joe sayor were there with gary clark, jr. And you guys killed it. That was absolutely fun, man. The big winner was bruno mars, whose 24 karat magic won both album of the year and record of the year. Thats a neat trick. At next years emmys, i hope were nominated for best late night comedy show and best comedy show in late night. laughter cheers and applause its a twofer. And then lose both to john oliver. laughter rim shot its was pretty political last night. A lot of artists called out trumps immigration policy, including camila calbeyo, u2, and the rapper logic. Not the first time trump and logic have been at odds. laughter piano riff cheers and applause ding, ding, ding, ding. Boom, boom, ding, ding, ding. And there was even a surprise cameo from trumps arch enemy and wedding guest, hillary clinton, who appeared in a sketch reading from fire and fury. That must have made trump so mad to see hillary showing off how she can read. laughter not fair. applause but all the politics in last nights show upset u. N. Ambassador nikki haley. She tweeted, i have always loved the grammys, but to have artists read the fire and fury book killed it. Dont ruin great music with trash. Some of us love music without the politics thrown in it. She just wants to take us back to when music was less political. You know, john lennon, woody guthrie, bob dylan, n. W. A. laughter cheers and applause n. W. A. , i loved their song no comment on the police. Tomorrow night is president trumps first state of the union address. Hes not scheduled to appear in front of congress again until his impeachment hearings. laughter piano riff the administration wants to showcase what the country is like now that republicans are in charge of everything. And they may have done just that, because they sent out these real tickets to see the state of the uniom. laughter yes. Uniom laughter now theyre reprinting tickets, and theyre going to recall the old ones, which could be tough ive seen members of the Trump Administration testify, and they cant recall anything laughter cheers and applause i cannot recall laughter but maybe, just maybe, its not a typo. He said he would change things. Maybe tomorrow will be the first state of the uniom. laughter my fellob anericams with doland trunk as your predisent, every mang, woban, and chilm will know the state of our uniom is strog laughter cheers and applause so strog. Boom, boom, boom. applause i want to say hi to my beautiful wife minalia. laughter anyway, im looking forward to the speech. Almost as much im looking forward to his interview with Robert Mueller. laughter heres the thing since last we met, we learned that trump tried to fire mueller last june. So that interview might be awkward. laughter now, ultimately, trump didnt fire mueller because white house Legal Counsel don mcgahn, refused to ask the Justice Department to dismiss the special counsel, saying he would quit instead. There was a time when i thought nobody in the white house had any scruples. But we found a scrap of scruple laughter applause an anemic just firefly ricochet of a scatter of a screwle its hard to believe that the only thing keeping the president from destroying our countrys system of checks and balances was a lawyer whose haircut is partyintheback and in the front. laughter that is amazing. Although if he did quit, hes got a backup career, because don mcgahn is in an 80s cover band. This is real. This is actual footage of mcghan tearing it up at a local bar scene. Whoa, buddy. Save some of that shredding for white house documents. cheers and applause laughter heres why this is a big deal nixons downfall really started when he ordered the firing of the special prosecutor investigating him, but republicans insist that theres nothing to see here. I think what happened here is the president had a bad idea. He talked with his counsel, who explained to an angry and frustrated president why it was a bad idea, and that was seven months ago. Stephen not sure why everyones upset. Heres what happened yes, the president did have a machete at the national zoo. And he jumped into the panda cage, screaming i just want to taste it. laughter but his lawyer wrestled the machete out of trumps hands. And that was hours ago. laughter applause yeah, save the pandas cheers and applause luckily, trump could count on backup from his best friend in the tv, fox news commentator and final hole at the worlds worst puttputt course, sean hannity. laughter at this hour the New York Times is trying to distract you. They have a story trump wanted mueller fired sometime last june and our sources and ive checked with many of them theyre not confirming that tonight. All right, so we have sources tonight, just confirming to ed henry that maybe donald trump wanted to fire the special counsel for conflict, does he not have the right to raise those questions . You know, well deal with this tomorrow night. Stephen aaahhh oh ahhh cheers and applause man, that was that was fast. laughter but sean knew what the real story was here. Does he not have the right to raise those questions . You know, well deal with this tomorrow night. We have a shocking video of the day to bring you, by the way. This footage comes to us from arizona. You see that red s. U. V. , High Speed Police chase, only the suspects vehicle slams into another car. Stephen sean, if you want to change the subject away from trump, maybe dont go to footage thats so clearly a metaphor for his administration. A car crash that we cant tear our eyes from. applause but hannitys not the only trumpfriendly pundit covering this story. Weve also got some exclusive coverage from our inhouse news team, real news tonight welcome to real news tonight. Im jim. Ll. We have breaking news, more lies from the fake failing New York Times. Their newest line, trump tried to fire Robert Mueller last summer. Typical of the fake liars of the New York Times. Trump never tried to fire mueller and that story will never change. Breaking news, trump did try to fire Robert Mueller. laughter good for him he gets to do that. Yes more on why this is good as we figure it out. Now, lets completely change track and cover this unrelated news item. Theres been a massive fire at the turd factory. As flaming hot pieces of dodo reign from the sky, can this bring down a manure tycoon. Probably not, nothing can touch the king of bleep . Stephen hope they got that fire under control. Hope no ones hurt. Theyre all fine. Jon yeah. Stephen also, yesterday we got a new interview with trump from british tv personality and regretful loaf of bread, piers morgan. In an unstable world, he asked the question on everyones mind. Youve never had a drink, youve never smoked, youve never taken drugs. We do see lots of pictures of you with burgers and cokes and stuff. Its an unusual diet. I eat fine food, i eat really some of the finest chefs in the world. Stephen i eat the finest chefs in the world. laughter gordon ramsay, anthony bourdain, i ate emeril, thats why you havent seen him around lately. Bam. I ate him. We stuffed him with crayfish. applause piano riff but trump did admit that he enjoys fast food, sometimes. I eat healthy food. I also have some of that food on occasion. Sometimes it makes sense. Actually, when youre campaigning, theres a lot of sense to it because its, you know, boom, boom, boom. Stephen you know, on the road, its boom, boom, boom. Then, to keep her quiet, you have to give her some caching, caching, caching. laughter cheers and applause is that not fair . Allegedly. Allegedly. laughter then piers asked trump the question on no ones mind. Do you identify as a feminist . Are you a feminist . No, i wouldnt say i am a feminist. Stephen no, i wouldnt say youre a feminist either. laughter cheers and applause now we agree. Ive never heard that. I wouldnt say it. I wouldnt think it. I wouldnt believe it. But even though hes not a feminist, trump thinks women are good. Or something. Im for women, im for men, im for everyone. Stephen wow. Women, men, everyone. Sir, i didnt realize you were into the lifestyle. laughter i guess i should have. Your presidency has proven youre willing to screw anyone. rim shot laughter thank you, what an honor im honored then morgan asked him about Climate Change. Do you believe in Climate Change . Do you believe it exists . There is a cooling and there is a heating and, i mean, look it used to not be Climate Change. It used to be Global Warming. Right . Right. That wasnt working too well because it was getting too cold all over the place. The ice caps were going to melt, they were going to be gone by now, but now theyre setting records. So, okay, theyre at a record level. Stephen fun fact nothing he said is a fact. laughter cheers and applause all of it, all lies. All lies, right . All lies. Climate change is a term made up by lobbyists to make Global Warming sound less bad. It was not getting too cold all over the place. Last year was, again, the warmest year on record. And ice caps are only setting records for most least ice cap. laughter but, now, because hes president , theyre suddenly growing again . Yeah, under me, everything white is doing great. laughter cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Julie chen is here. But when we return, my exclusive oneonone with our cartoon president. Stick around. cheers and applause band playing wild thing you make my heart sing you make everything groovy wild thing, i think i love you applebees handcrafted burgers. Any burger just 7. 99. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. swing jazz music plays music stops splash thud bell ringing, applause thud use pantene shampoo together with 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Their prov formula is like a multivitamin. Making your hair 2x stronger see the difference when you add 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Atneed different food. Thats why were always adding new brands like Rachel Ray Nutrish so our wide assortment including science diet blue buffalo and pro plan just got even bigger why shop anywhere else . Petsmart for the love of pets. Oh theres one. A the sea cow manatees in novelty ts . Surprising. Whats come at me bro . Its something you say to a friend. Whats not surprising . How much money matt saved by switching to geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. cheers and applause band playing Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everyone give it up for the band cheers and applause well, you know, john jon, as i s saying before the commercial break, tomorrow night, the late show will be live after Donald Trumps first state of the union to confirm that, yes, he actually did say that. And we might have gotten a preview when trump spoke last friday in davos, switzerland. And he got some boos, when he said this it wasnt until i became a politician that i realized how nasty, how mean, how vicious and how fake the press can be. As the cameras start going off in the background. Boo stephen sir, you have to know your audience. Its europe. Freedom of the press is still in vogue over there. laughter you might as well have insulted soft cheese and nuthugger jeans. laughter point is, its going to be hard for trump to bring the country together. From bleep to shutdown, trumps behavior has become increasingly cartoonish, so please welcome the star of showtimes new series, our cartoon president , cartoon donald trump. cheers and applause mr. President , thank you for joining us. You were just in davos, how did that go . Fantastic stephen you were booed when you brought up fake news. Those werent boos. They were saying fake neeeews they love me over there. Im sure in 2020 im going to carry switzerland. Stephen sir, switzerlands another country. Yeah, thats what they said about wisconsin. Stephen okay, switching gears. The New York Times is reporting that you tried to fire Robert Mueller last june. Fake news. Stephen you cant just say fake news to everything. Fake news. Stephen even fox news confirmed this story. Arent you worried this constitutes obstruction of justice . No, im worried i didnt obstruct justice enough. I keep trying to obstruct, but justice keeps coming at me like an immigrant child hopped up on nutrition. Very scary. audience reacts stephen youre making some friends, sir. laughter now, your state of the union is less than 24 hours away. Can you give us a preview . Ill give you a couple of highlights. Theres the part where i say jobs, jobs, jobs. Then i go wall, wall, wall. After that, its all tshirt cannon just like lincoln at gettysburg. laughter stephen sounds inspirational. But america doesnt need to watch. They can learn everything they need to know by watching my new show, our cartoon president. The greatest show on earth trademark february 11 on showtime. Stephen but what if you dont have showtime . Then bleep stephen you cant say that on cbs. I can on showtime and the First Episode is streaming for free right now, you know i love streamin stephen sir, please. Im talking pee pee, stephen. Stephen thats our cartoon president. Back with julie chen with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body, no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. whoa. on baby monitor weve got a situation here. Ive never seen anything like that. Will you get my phone, please . Youre not taking a picture of that . No, i want to video chat with a doctor cooing grunt oh clattering toys clicking, buzzing whoa. straining im okay. Need a doctor after hours . Unitedhealthcare can help. See a doctor right on your phone, right from your home. Is that normal . Thats normal for a new baby. And what about him . Hey, doc. Doctor thats normal for a new parent. Unitedhealthcare. I used to ask if you could hear me now, doctor thats normal for a new parent. But i switched to sprint, you should too. Heres why. Everyone wants a new iphone. And right now when you lease a new iphone you get a second one on them. You get the best price for unlimited. And these days all networks are great. And Sprints Network reliabilty is within one percent of the other guys. So why would you still pay twice as much for a one percent difference . vo get iphone 8 and give a second one on us with sprint flex lease. Or get iphone 10 for 30 month. For people with hearing loss visit sprintrelay. Com cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back to the show cheers and applause ladies and germs, my first guest is the Emmy Awardwinning host of the talk and big brother, which both air on cbs. Please welcome back to the show, julie chen cheers and applause band playing stephen after you, young lady. Hello, hello, nice to be back. Thanks for having me. Stephen there is no one i would rather talk to now because youve got very big news. In the last 24 hours, its been announced that Celebrity Big Brother the first time weve done Celebrity Big Brother in the united states, right . Yes. Stephen you announced the celebrities and the big surprise. Amarosa has gone from the white house to the big brother house. cheering stephen wow. And that is the headline. There are eleven celebrities but she is the one everyone is fascinated by, you love her, hate her. Stephen it literally is a headline. Yes. Stephen because just moments ago she was this close to the seat of power. Yes. Stephen and a big seat it is. And im sure she very clever. Stephen thank you very much. I used to work on clever central. laughter stephen uhhuh. I think Everyone Wants to know what her 12 months was like in the white house. Stephen yes. And they want to know the circumstances of her exiting the white house. Stephen she was escorted out by security is what i understand. Yes. They want you to think kicking and screaming, and im sure everyone has their own version of how that went. Stephen sure. And i think, now, she has a place to talk all day long, 247, for three weeks in the big brother house about it. Stephen because its not just the broadcast. You can go 24 hours a day and watch the cameras of all of them slowly, like, you know, dying from exposure in that house. Well, im very curious to see how celebrities are going to do in this. When you look at the group we have, we have almost universe. She was miss colombia and for 7. 5 seconds she thought she was miss universe. Stephen thats the one steve harvey crowned miss colombia. Yes, shes gorgeous, and i have not met her yet, but i hear shes very sophia gavar like, really smart and just dynamic. And if anyone wants a win, its miss colombia, she wants a win. Stephen she sure does. But theyre fierce competitors. Ron artest now known as middle world peace. We have shannon elizabeth, everyone fell in love with her in american pie and she is a winner because shes a pierce, competitive poker player who now lives in south africa. Stephen was she fleeing poker debts . Why does she will you have in south africa . Well find out. laughter stephen how long do you ge