laughter you know, and the way i think, song . Then what about a baby shark is just like when im at home, im just slobbing out, watching looking for a mommy shark, deet, television, like anyone. So its kind of him and me. Deet, deet, deet, deet what happens when you run out of family members . Me is me, that was always in you can go to cousins. First cousin shark, second this body and the bodys just cousin shark, third cousin once grown up. Stephen the guy behind the removed shark. Eyeballs. Yeah. And then him is that famous guy. The possibilities are infinite. Could be, lads, could be. Stephen wow. Hes very famous. We just did abby road. laughter applause why dont we keep the road thing stephen ive heard. Ive heard hes very famous. Going and do old town abby road. A man has to take his horse to abby road in the old part of so i guess the question is how town and he rides his horse till do you then deal with other he cant ride his horse no people, sort of like the emotion and the importance they bring to more. Why cant he ride it noore . You that you cant possibly know what you mean to other people maybe sick. Because some things will mean equine arthritis is very bad. Very specific things to other people, and they see you through what about a baby horse, he a particular sopping. For instance, the first thing i doesnt have arthritis because hes a baby. Think of is r heres a mommy, mommy horse, which has an norms emotional heres a daddy. Resonance for me because in 1974 heres a daddy horse. Ites a toe tapper. It was the song over the summer enough with the baby animals, and in some ways that was like maybe we could get lunch. The last happy summer of me i could go for indian. Because my father and two how about italian, ching brothers died in september of 1974, so that song is emblematic parmesan. A baby chicken, do, do, do, do, a baby chicken for an entire innocent time for thats it, i quit. Me, and i know that you really its the late show with have nothing to do with what Stephen Colbert. That emotionally means for me, but what do you do knowing that stephen welcomes Paul Mccartney, featuring jon lives inside of other people when they see you . Batiste and stay human. How do you deal when a fan comes and now live on tape from the ed up . How do you deal with me right now telling you this . Sullivan theater in new york laughter its not easy, stephen. City, its Stephen Colbert stephen im serious, i can cheers and applause imagine its not easy because theme song playing you cant be what people want you to be. No. I was a fan of lots of people, so i kind of ge it. Hey how are you . Im also very happy that songs that i just wrote originally just to make some money laughter happy monday. No, thats how people start. piano riff you start out, you know, you love what you do, but youre hello thank you very much trying to pay the bills. Very kind but the fact that these songs hey, everybody welcome one and all, ladies and then get into peoples heads and gentlemen, to the late show. They have this meaning, i mean, im your host Stephen Colbert. Thats the biggest bonus you can cheers and applause have. piano riff im excited, too. Its been a very big week here cheers and applause its true. In new york. Stephen we have to take the u. N. General assembly is in town. Another break, but, please, leaders from asia, africa, and europe have come to new york stick around, well be right city to see all the people who used to live in their countries. laughter back with more sir Paul Mccartney. President trump is here, too. Break brea to welcome him, new yorkers have spent the last three years crowbarring his name off all the buildings. Like up here at lookout point. laughter but theres more. cheers and applause now all 4 of us get unlimited data, piano riff talk and text for just 25 per line per month. Hashtag first date he aint family yet. Trump had a busy weekend but theres more. Prepping for the u. N. On we got 4 lg stylo™5 phones for free. Friday at the white house, he hosted a state dinner for the now the whole family can stay connected. Australian Prime Minister. Not this connected. as trump switch to boost mobile and weve got all your native get 4 lines with unlimited gigs for 25 per line per month delicacies bloomin onion, plus 4 free lg stylo™5 phones, all on our super reliable, digireedonuts, and knife super fast nationwide network. Want to try out my time machine . Thats not a knife because its it runs on doritos. [dog barks] smaller than other knife. Sure. So now what . Gotta put the whole bag in. laughter okay. Then yes piano riff on sunday, he appeared its really working, jimmy [humming, thumping] [humming] with indian Prime Minister [thumping] Narendra Modi at an event in this is the greatest moment of my life texas called, and this is real, howdy modi get out of my yard laughter [birds chirping] jon holy moly . Jimmy . Stephen actual name. Youre so old. It was even more successful than [crunch ] last years event for the Prime Minister of israel, the first its the future annual netanyeehaw laughter ever since you brought me home, that day. Netanyeehaw ive been plotting to destroy you. cheers and applause sizing you up. piano riff calculating your every move. You think this is love . This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get allstate and be better protected from mayhem, but tomorrow is the main event like meow. For the president , his speech to the u. N. General assembly. So get allstate and be better protected from mayhem, always a big deal. Bowhen you want toks hakick start your day you can choose the one with the full serving of vegetables last year, he set a high bar. If youll recall, his words brought joy to the whole or you could go with 3 times world. In less than two years, my the amount of sugar. If youre into that sort of thing. Administration has accomplished more than almost any v8 the original Plant Powered drink. Veg up. Administration in the history of our country. Americas so true. Hubiggest denim sale ever. S all jeans are on sale up to sixty percent off. Starting from just twelve bucks. Thats right. All jeans are on sale laughter up to sixty percent off. Didnt expect that reaction, but thats okay. Only at old navy. laughter ive always been faand still going for my best, even though i live with a higher risk of stroke stephen now, mr. President , i want to assure you that they werent laughing at you. Due to afib not caused by a heart valve problem. laughter so if theres a better treatment than warfarin. Its the u. N. , they were i want that too. Laughing a toi. Lahter eliquis. Eliquis is proven to reduce stroke risk better than warfarin. Cest un imbeecille magnifique plus has significantly less major bleeding than warfarin. cheers and applause eliquis is fdaapproved and has both. Whats next . piano riff reeling in a nice one. Now, we dont know what trumps going to say tomorrow, but last dont stop taking eliquis unless your doctor tells you to, week, he gave us a preview. Now, before i tell you what he as stopping increases your risk of having a stroke. Said, keep in mind he was talking to reporters who were finishing their dinner on air eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. Force one. Dont take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve well say the United States is the greatest country in the or abnormal bleeding. While taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily world, its never been stronger and its never been better and and it may take longer than usual for any bleeding to stop. They certainly have one of the great president s in our history. Seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, we love you guys. Have a good time. Like unusual bruising. Dont eat that chocolate cake, eliquis may increase your bleeding risk okay . If you take certain medicines. They didnt give me cake like tell your doctor about all planned medical that, phil. Ill grab that sucker right off or dental procedures. Your plate. Eliquis, the number one cardiologistprescribed blood thinner. laughter ask your doctor if eliquis stephen wow. Is whats next for you. That really took a turn. Reminds me of f. D. R. s famous speech december 7th, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of america was suddenly and deliberately attacked do i smell pizza . You guys got pizza . I didnt get pizza dont even think about eating the last slice, phil. Ill grab that sucker right off your plate. laughter cheers and applause stephen f. D. R. f. D. R. jon f. D. R. F. D. R. Stephen maybe trump will be a bigger hit with the foreigners, because he is not winning any popularity contests here. His Approval Rating has never risen above 50 , and hes underwater with women, hispanics, african americans, in the suburbs, in the cities, in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse, they do not like him here or there, they do not like him anywhere. They do not like the orange man. They miss the guy who said yes we can. laughter if trump manages to pinch out a win this time, we know which music hell put on to celebrate, elton john. Apparently, trump is a big fan my musito be involved in anything to do with an American Election campaign, im british. Its nothing personal, trumps political views are his own, mine are very different, im not a republican in a million years. cheers and applause band playing laughter cheers and applause stephen ladies and mmhmm mmhmm. Not a republican. Gentlemen, he used to have a jon hes saying what hes couple of bands, many featured got to say. Stephen not a republican on your favorite lunchboxes, but now he is the author of hey, in a million years. as trump so youre saying theres a chance. Grandude, Paul Mccartney is here. See you in a million years, roboelton. I would like to ask about that boy growing up in liverpool. If you dont mind me asking, i laughter since that snub, trump has been know you mother died when you obsessed with showing elton john just how popular he is. On several occasions, after were 14, and i know that many rallies, trump bragged about his crowds, saying he had broken people ascribe a tragedy in an elton john records. Explains why trump has been artists youth to being an showing up at rallies dressed like this. Impetus for their sort of creative spirit, but a lot of laughter ri people have tragedy and dont become artists. Lookood. In what way tid your mothers looks jo that he made him part offoliy death affect your work . If that had not happened, would you still have been musicians or he nicknamed kim jong un little be the man you are . Well, i didnt think it has rocket man, and even sent secretary of state mike pompeo to a meeting with kim bearing an elton john record. Affected me musically. And kim jong un gave him a copy of north koreas most popular i just knew it was a tragedy. Album, now thats what you are i have a younger brother thats ordered by our glorious leader to call music, volume 108 a year and a half younger than me, and to lose your mom at 14 is not easy. cheers and applause so it was just very difficult for a few years just trying to come to terms with it, but then excellent, looks like lady. I found music. Jon that was a hit. applause stephen apparently kim jong un was none too pleased with his new nickname. Trump says that at their summit, jon and jon lost his mother, he complained about being called little rocket man. To which trump replied dont too, tragic circumstances. You know elton john . Stephen at 17, i think. Its a great song. So kim said, but you called me little. we bnd,e both knew about that, we knew that then comes what buzzfeed describes as trumps punchline feeling, and i never thought it affected my music until years thats what he didnt like later. Thats trumps sense of humor in people were saying, well that a nutshell. Song yesterday, why she had as trump why did the chicken cross the road . Because you are a fat, tiny to go, i dont know, she person. Wouldnt say, they said, thats laughter your mom. I said, well, maybe, i dont tonight, i have a high level know. I certainly didnt mean it to summit with another british be. Stephen yeah. But it could be. Music legend, sir paul you know, those things can mccartney. cheers and applause happen. Thank you. Thank you. But, yeah, no, i think then it right over there. Gave you the impetus to just go sir paul. Jon right over there . Stephen the walrus and have a good life, which i himself. The walrus himself. cheers and applause know she would want. Stephen because you know its precious, it can go away. Mmhmm. Paul mccartney. Stephen you mentioned your i got chills. Friend john. I got chills. Of course, the fab four made their American Television debut right here on the ed sullivan heres a beautiful picture of theater stage, 55 years ago. The two of you. Thats a really lovely picturee. And tonight hes back because he left his iphone in the greenroom. Do you remember this moment . I do, yeah. laughter and thats a very special sir paul is still making great music, like his latest album, picture for me, actually, because, when the beatles broke egypt station, available in up, a lot of the talk was that, this steamer trunk. Like, i was the villain and that this thing has inside of it the john and i didnt really get on vinyl what else is in here . Well, and it was a lot of down the vinyl, rare talk about it because everyone was sad the beatles had broken performance footage, lithographs of some of sir pauls paintings, up, and i kind of bought into im going to say it. Stephen that you were the a cursed monkeys paw, the villain . A little bit, you know, because when youre called it enough, you start saying, well, maybe i was, you know. A couple infinity stones and i so i had to do a lot of sort of think ringos in there, too. Wrangling with was i, wasnt i . Did i know john . Punch a couple of air holes in were we friends . You know, knowing really we that. Thats likely heavy. Were, but there were so many rumors about it, and that photo, applause on this album, mccartney has a song about Global Warming called despite repeated warnings, about a mad captain who wont when i saw that, its like, yes, listen to logic or reason. When asked who its about, sir we were friends. And its a beautiful photo for paul came clean,well, i mean obviously its trump. Me because it just reminds me of laughter us working together and how cool it was. Stephen do you remember plays what song this was that you were applause working on . applause no. Do youle . Its about trump . laughter you probably do. Could be, could be. Stephen i was always thats not his first song about trump. Im pretty sure trump is Eleanor Rigby, because hes wearing a imag ws you face that he keeps in a jar by the door. applause i had seen this before, and this laughter weve got a great show for you could be totally off base you tonight. Well be right back with sir Paul Mccartney talking about the long medley cheers and applause band playing with advil liquigels, with him. Yeah, it could be. Thats a very good guess. Stephen thank you. Thats part of the job. Weve got to guess things like this. I can also guess your weight at the carnival. laughter aside from interviews, when youre asked about john lennon, how often do you think about john . Quite often, yeah. I dream about him. Stephen really . Would you mind sharing one . No. Stephen okay. Ure. I mean, the thing is, you know, when youve had a relationship like that for so long, such a deep relationship, you know, i love it when people revisit you in your dreams. So i often have band dreams, and theyre crazy. Im often witho julk about doing something, and i come to get my bass ready to play, and its covered in sticky tape. You know, dreams laughter stephen sure, i know. O, you know, im picking up a this stuff off and trying to talk to him. Now, i had a lot of dreams about john, and theyre always good. Stephen do you ever write songs in your dreams . You have fastacting power over pain, yeah. Yesterday. Stephen what . So the whole world looks different. Yesterday was written in a the unbeatable strength dream . Uhhuh. And speed of advil liquigels. Stephen please, tell me. I woke up one morning, and what pain . There was this tune in my head, and i happened to have a piano depend® fitflex underwear for all day fun. Features maximum absorbency, by my bed. It was a little apartment. Ultra soft fabric how do you get skin happy and you feel like this. And new beautiful designs aveeno® daily moisturizer for your best comfort and protection guaranteed. Get skin happy™ so lifes better when youre in it. humming be there with depend®. What is this . I thought, its just an old tune but dad, youve got allstate. With accident forgiveness my dad must have played, or i they guarantee your rates wont go up just heard it yesterday, you just because of an accident. Know. Smart kid. laughter indeed. And, so, i went around to all my are you in good hands . Friends, to john first, whats this . Did you know you can save money whats this tune . By using dish soap to clean grease on more than dishes . And hed go, i dont know. So i went to george martin, using multiple cleaners on grease can be expensive, producer, george, you know a lot and sometimes ineffective. For better value, of songs, whats this . Tackle grease with dawn ultra. He said, i dont know. Dawn is for more than just dishes. So after about a couple of it provides 3x more grease cleaning power per drop, weeks, i decided it was mine. Which cuts through tough kitchen messes, laughter pretreats laundry stains, and even tackles grease buildup on car rims. Stephen and no one came out of the woodwork. Tackle tough greasy messes around your home, not yet. applause and save money with dawn ultra. Stephen that reminds me, brand power. Helping you better. You know this movie yesterday. Yeah. Stephen that just came out. Yeah. Stephen have you seen it . You know yeah. People have been saying to us, well give you a screening. I said, im not sure we want to go to a screening. So i said, nancy and i, well just go to the cinema. So we did last week then. Stephen so you just walked into a Movie Theater . Correct snood for those of you who may not know, its about a world in which something vaguely magical happens and theres only one man on the entire planet who knows the beatles ca catalog, the beatles never existed, and hes somewhat of a failed mew sessions and he starts doing the song and Everybody Loves it and he becomes a musician. What did you think of that . It was a pretty good plug for me. cheers and applause we were in the back ro