laughter laughter laughter laughter laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, got to get u. N. To my life. Plus, stephen welcomes Paul Mccartney, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing hey how are you . Happy monday. piano riff hello thank you very much very kind hey, everybody welcome one and all, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It has been cheers and applause piano riff im excited, too. Its been a very big week here in new york. The u. N. General assembly is in town. Leaders from asia, africa, and europe have come to new york city to see all the people who used to live in their countries. laughter President Trump is here, too. To welcome him, new yorkers have spent the last three years crowbarring his name off of all the buildings. laughter trump has cheers and applause piano riff trump had a busy weekend prepping for the u. N. On friday at the white house, he hosted a state dinner for the australian Prime Minister. as trump weve got all your native delicacies we got bloomin onions, we got digireedonuts, and a knife thats not a knife because its smaller than the other knife. laughter then piano riff on sunday, he appeared with indian Prime MinisterNarendra Modi at an event in texas called, and this is real, howdy modi laughter jon holy moly . Stephen actual name. It was even more successful than last years event for the Prime Minister of israel, the first annual netanyeehaw laughter netanyeehaw cheers and applause piano riff laughter cheers and applause for the president , his speech to the u. N. General assembly. Always a big deal. Last year, he set a very high bar. If youll recall, his words brought joy to the whole world. In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country. Americas so true. laughter didnt expect that reaction, but thats okay. laughter stephen now, mr. President , i want to assure you that they werent laughing at you. laughter its the u. N. , they werengi c un imbecile magnifique tres grand cheers and applause piano riff now, we dont know what trumps going to say tomorrow, but last week, he gave us a little bit of a preview. Now, before i tell you what he said, keep in mind he was talking to reporters who were finishing their dinner on air force one. Well say the United States is the greatest country in the world, its never been stronger and its never been better and they certainly have one of the great president s in history. We love you guys. Have a good time. Dont eat that chocolate cake, okay . They didnt give me cake like that, phil. Ill grab that sucker right off your plate. laughter wow. That really took a turn. I did not see that coming. Jon i did not see that coming. S december 7th, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States of america was suddenly and deliberately attacked do i smell pizza . You guys got pizza . I didnt get pizza dont even think about eating the last slice, phil. Ill grab that sucker right off your plate laughter cheers and applause stephen f. D. R. f. D. R. jon f. D. R. F. D. R. Stephen maybe trump will be a bigger hit with the foreigners, because he is not winning any popularity contests here. His Approval Rating has never been his entire presidency is have never risen above 50 , and he is way underwater with women, hispanics, african americans, in the suburbs, in the cities, in a box, with a fox, in a house, with a mouse, they do not like him here or there, they do not like him anywhere. cheers and applause they do not like the orange man. They miss the guy who said yes we can. laughter if trump manages to pinch out a win this time, we know which sic hel put celebratapretr of sir elton, but the feeling isnt mutual. When asked to play trumps inauguration, elton said no. He explained, i dont really want my music to be involved in anything to do with an American Election campaign, im british. Its nothing personal, trumps political views are his own, mine are very different, im not a republican in a million years. laughter cheers and applause mmhmm mmhmm. Not a republican. Jon hes saying what hes got to say. Stephen not a republican in a million years. as trump so youre saying theres a chance. See you in a million years, roboelton. laughter since that snub, trump has been obsessed with showing elton john just how popular trump is. On several occasions, after rallies, trump bragged about his crowds, saying he had broken elton john records. Explains why trump has been showing up at his rallies dressed like this. laughter piano riff trump is looks good. Looks good. Trump is so obsessed with elton john that he made him part of foreign policy. He nicknamed kim jong un rocket man, little rocket man, if you remember, and even sent secretary of state mike pompeo to a meeting with kim bearing an elton john record. And kim jong un gave him a copy of north koreas most popular album, now thats what you are ordered by our glorious leader to call music, volume 108 cheers and applause excellent horselike lady. Jon excellent horselike lady, that was a hit. applause stephen apparently kim jong un was none too pleased with his little rocket man nickname. Trump says at their summit, kim complained about being called little rocket man. To which trump replied dont you know elton john . Its a great song. So kim said, but you called me little. then comes what buzzfeed describes as trumps punchline thats what he didnt like thats trumps sense of humor in a nutshell. as trump why did the chicken cross the road . Because you are a fat, tiny person. laughter tonight, i myself have a high British Music legend, sir Paul Mccartney. cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. Right over there. Sir paul. Jon right over there . Sir paul . Stephen the walrus himself. The walrus himself. cheers and applause Paul Mccartney. Im excited, i got chills. I got chills. Of course, the fab four made their American Television debut right here on the ed sullivan theater stage, 55 years ago. And tonight hes back because he left his iphone in the greenroom. laughter sir paul is still making great music, like his latest album, egypt station, which im not kidding is available in this steamer trunk. This thing has inside of it the vinyl what else is in here . The vinyl, rare performance footage, the c. D. , lithographs of some of sir pauls paintings, im going to say a cursed monkeys paw, a couple of infinity stones, and i think ringos in there, too. Lets punch a couple of air holes in that. applause and, on this album thats really heavy. Ed this album, mccartney has a about a mad captain who wont listen to logic or reason. When asked who its about, sir paul came clean and said, well, i mean obviously its about trump. laughter applause applause its about trump . Could be, could be. That is not his first song about trump, however. Im pretty sure trump is Eleanor Rigby, because hes wearing a face that he keeps in a jar by the door. laughter weve got a great show for you tonight. Well be right back with sir Paul Mccartney cheers and applause Paul Mccartney cheers and applause band playing im Christina StembelPaul Mccartney and i chose the spark cash bancard from capital one with unlimited 2 cash back on everything i buy why wouldnt i get this card . i redeemed 115,000 in cash back, which doubled our Marketing Budget last summer. Whats in your wallet . Shes staying in a rainforest tree house . Thats my dream. You dream big for a man on a plane to omaha. And shes zip lining with little jon . What its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Youre with big jon. Im steve. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Nyquifor your worst cold andrful relieflu symptoms, on sunday night and every night. Nyquil severe. The nightime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine. You have power over pain, so the whole world looks different. The unbeatable strength of advil. What pain . The holidays begin here at the disneyland resort. cheers and applause band playing stephen hello, my friends welcome back oh, ladies and gentlemen, you are here for a very special night. Very special night here in the ed sullivan theater. I cant wait. Jon very special night. cheers and applause stephen i just cannot wait, jon. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, you know my first guest tonight because hes Paul Mccartney cheers and applause band playing there it is cheers and applause band playing cheers and applause band playing cheers and applause woohoo all right cheers and applause oh yeah. cheers and applause stephen there it is. Paul, weve got to take a commercial break. Well be right back. laughter welcome back to the ed sullivan theater. Thank you great to be back. cheers and applause stephen i mean, the first question, obviously, is where did you guys perform the first time you were here . Was it up there . I always guessed it was right up there, right above the proscenium over there, is that where it was . I dont know. laughter stephen well, if you dont know, then nobody knows. Nobody knows. Its changed so much. Stephen yeah, it has. Whtouember what it looked like back then . That was kind of the same. That was similar. Oh, man, its so long ago, and we were so nervous, you know. Stephen were you really . Yeah. It doesnt show too much. When i look at it now, i think we dont look nervous at all. Stephen you look pretty happy. Yeah, but we were nervous. Stephen ive got to ask a personal question, as a professional, on behalf of anybody whos ever tried to write anything, how do you do it . How do you do you ever look back at your own catalog and say how did i do that . Well actually i do, that is true, because when i do them in the shows, im singing, like, Eleanor Rigby or something, im thinking, whoever wrote this was pretty good. laughter you know, its stephen sure, sure. Yeah. Stephen but where do you think it comes from . You know, people talk about a muse or someone who is sort of touched by grace. Why do some people become Paul Mccartney and other people become Stephen Colbert . laughter seriously . Stephen seriously. You know what . My dad was very musical, and i used to listen to a lot of what he did, so a lot of music went in, you know, i listened to the records and watched films and stuff. So i always think of it like my computer got loaded with a lot of data from all the songs i heard, all the old songs. So when i finally came to write, i kind of printed it all out. So i think there was a lot of information in my brain stephen so you had a lot of reference up here to make connections. A lot of stuff, yeah. And my family was very musical. We would have musical evenings, all the old ladies, all the old aunties would be singing all the songs and getting gradually more and more drunk. laughter so, you know. Stephen that glaug great, and my dad was the pianist for that. So, you know, it was all the old songs. And then, eventually, he got arthritis, so i became the pianist for that. Stephen okay. So, you know chicago, chicago the red, red robin comes bob bobbobbin along so i know all that stuff. And when i finally came to write, i think i had a lot of clues as to how to write. Plus im a genius. cheers and applause piano riff stephen you buried the lede. Thats called burying the lede. So all youre recommending young people, just be a genius. Well, yeah, why not . Stephen what was that first tour like in the United States in 1964 . Pretty cool. laughter stephen yeah . Oh you know, it was, it was magical because we loved american music, still do. And everything we were singing, except the stuff we wrote ourselves, was american. So to come to america for the first time, come to new york as kids who kind of made it over in england, so we were cocky little gits, so we felt like, hey, this is cool, get the cigarettes out. So it was magical. It really was. It was like everything we expected and more. And we were on the radio. Stephen thats big time. Tuning in, yeah, tuning in to little stations and we would be on the radio, we were so excited. Stephen you did a lot of covers. Who was your favorite artist to cover . What cover did you most enjoy doing . I think twist and shout was a great cover. Stephen people forget that that was a cover. Yeah. cheers and applause people think we wrote that. Stephen right. We have to say, no, no, that was the eisley brothers. I used to like doing kansas city, little richard. Stephen a lot of people have covered your music as well. I think yesterday is the most covered song of all time or the most recorded song of all time by various artists. Do you have a favorite cover of a beatles song . And keep in mind theres a correct answer. laughter yeah, id heard it was recorded 3,000 times or something. Stephen yesterday, yeah. So i said to one of our guys, i said, well, get me the top ten, just what you think are the best ten. So he did, and it was like sinatra, elvis, ray charles, marvin gaye i think i like marvins best. Stephen uhhuh. But the funny thing about sinatra, marvin and elvis, they changed the words in the middle. I go, i said something wrong, now i long for yesterday. Well, all of them said, i must have said something wrong, but theyre not owning up. laughter i must have i dont know. applause search me. Stephen thats like those apologies that are like, if anyone was offended. Yeah exactly, wow. laughter i must have done something wrong. Stephen the correct answer is stevie wonders we can work it out. That is the best cover of a beatles song, just in case you were wondering. That is a good one. Stephen we checked with the judges, and thats the original one. Now, are you ever stunned by the reach of your work, how many different cultures have embraced it . Because we had on do you know the korean pop band b. T. S . Yeah. Stephen theyre the biggest thing on the planet right now. So ive heard. Stephen when we had them on, i asked this question jim . Stephen you are the first group, as i said before, to earn three number one albums in a row since the beatles. Do you guys have favorite beatles songs . Hey ju nah, nahh nah, nah, nah nahnahnahnah nahnahnahnah hey jude cheers and applause thats it. Stephen what do you think it is about your music that transcends geographic and language barriers so that those seven guys would just jump up and start the nahnahnahs . Easy lyrics. laughter stephen thats true. cheers and applause well, we have to take a little break but dont go anywhere, well be right back with Paul Mccartney cheers and applause band playing that life of k walk it off look one more mile look reply all look own your look. With fewer lines. Theres only one botox® cosmetic. Its the only one. Fda approved. To temporarily make frown lines. Crows feet. And forehead lines. Look better. The effects of botox® cosmetic, may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your dto as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness may be a sign of a lifethreatening condition. Do not receive botox® cosmetic if you have a skin infection. 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If its not from irobot, its not a roomba™. cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody were here were here with childrens author Paul Mccartney, author of hey, grandude. Now, i dont often get in any way star struck with a guest. People ask me, oh, a politician comes on, do you ever no, i dont care. Because i kind of know what they do. Actors, i kind of know what they do, authors, i kind of know what they do. But when i have a musician on, especially one i admire, i can i think that what musicians do, you, jon, the band, its mysterious to me. Theres some magic in it where youre able to reach inside our hearts and minds and souls and you change something, thats real magic. I agree. Stephen you agree. Yeah. Stephen now i cant remembem actually laughter what it was was stephen no, this is it this is it cheers and applause im trying not to cheers and applause so, you mean something, so in some ways its a little bit difficult to talk to Paul Mccartney because youre Paul Mccartney, even though youre just a lovely guy. Youre just a guy, right . You know, the thing is i am still that little kid that grew up in liverpool. Okay, i got really famous, but in here, im still that little kid. So im amazed at, like, the audiences reaction and stuff because its, like, i still dont believe it. laughter you know, and the way i think, just like when im at home, im just slobbing out, watching television, like anyone. laughter so its kind of him and me. Me is me, that was always in this body and the bodys just grown up. Stephen sure, the guy behind the eyeballs. Yeah. And then him is that famous guy. Stephen wow. Hes very famous. laughter applause stephen ive heard. Ive heard hes very famous. So how i guess the question is how do you then deal with other people, sort of like the emotion and the importanc