The pino is underwhelming. Coppolas dracula gave me nightmares because it was awful. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight tugowarren. Plus, stephen welcomes eddie murphy and the pioneer woman ree drummond. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi nice to see you cheers and applause stephen hey cheers and applause oooh cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody how are you . Welcome, welcome one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its friday cheers and applause listen to that, jon. That can only be one thing. Thats a friday crowd right there, that is. cheers and applause absolutely. Accept no substitutes. It is friday and trump is thanking god that it is. Because hes had a rough week. The impeachment inquiry has been so damning, trump needed his House Republican buddies to barge into the classified testimony to try to shut it down. When they finally do make the testimony public, hell have to send those guys to every americans house to block their tvs. There are 18 democrats vying to remove trump from office the oldfashioned way. Ill tell you all about it in tonights doin it donkey style. Genderneutral bathrooms stephen tonight, its a solemn dstyle, because we just a little less d. Namely, ohio representative and man who released a dove that flew directly into a jet engine, tim ryan. That really paints a picture. That really paints a picture. Yesterday, ryan issued this announcement im announcing today that im withdrawing from the president ial campaign. I got into this race in april to really give voice to the forgotten people of our country. Stephen and i can think of no better voice to represent the forgotten people of america than. Help me out here. Was it. Ryan jimmies . Chad Michael Murray . Its three names. Well, now that congressman chad is gone, lets remove him from our giant cluster of democratic candidates. And. It looks like we forgot to put him in there. I dont see him. cheers and applause can we just jam him in there some place, jim. Thank you great. Now lets take him away. applause i think i huffed him. laughter in the money race, wall streets democratic donors have warned the party that if they nominate elizabeth warren, theyll sit out or back trump. So if you cant have exactly what you want, youll take the worst thing you can imagine. Worst thing there is. Were ordering pizza . Sweet. I want pepperoni. And if you order mushroom, im going to hit myself in the nards with a ballpeen hammer. I doll it i will do it dont make me why are these finance democrats so opposed to warren . Well, one wall street douchewig put it this way warren is an unapologetic populist who would reduce corporate earnings to benefit other stakeholders. Which stakeholders . Workers, the environment, those with lower incomes, and finally, women and minorities. Boo what about what about innocent corporate earnings . Think of poor dowager jones and little timmy nasdaq. laughter theyre going to be forced to spend christmas with their secondfavorite coke dealer. Do you not remember the words of jesus . If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give it all to the stock market. Were gonna make some sweet coin. Suck it, meek cheers and applause suck it, meek applause paraphrasing. Paraphrasing. Jon translation. Its a translation stephen one big donkey donor whos not afraid of warren is former Goldman Sachs partner and neal patrick hairless, michael novogratz. Mr. Novogratz was interviewed by bloomberg on friday, and he took the opportunity to chide his fellow money buddies youre not victims. Youre the richest people in the world. How in gods name do you feel like a victim . To which rich people responded, well, if im not gods victim, then how do you explain the name of my yacht . laughter and warrens not the only candidate giving voters some cold feet. According to the New York Times, many establishment democrats are asking, is there anybody else . No tim ryan had to drop out because we didnt have enough podiums you have so many options, and youre asking for more . Thats like showing up for thanksgiving dinner and asking for a fivefoot party sub no your mother worked really hard on this meal. She learned how to stuff a hickenlooper. laughter and aside from the primarys frontrunners, other candidates are struggling to stay in the news, like former maryland congressman and hank hills neighbor from king of the hill, john delaney. applause really good. Really good. This week, delaneys Campaign Announced a promotion where donors will be entered into a contest to win a seat next to delaney at the fourth game of the world series. Which, thats great. Thats a really positive way to reframe the fact that nobody wanted to go to the world series with john delaney. In a press release, delaney wrote, something you may not know about me is that im a big baseball fan. Thanks, john. Another thing i dont know about you. laughter is anything. laughter applause so sorry laughter and other democratic contenders got in on the game, like montanas steve bullock, who tweeted, it aint the world series, but if you come to the cross town game in helena this weekend, ill buy you a coke. Adding, and if you can tell the difference between me and michael bennet, ill buy you a car. laughter theres another Trump Administration tellall book coming out, this time from the author of that New York Times oped piece from 2018 titled, i am part of the resistance administration, by anonymous. I dont know. How can we trust this anonymous guy . In the only other book he wrote, he admits hes an alcoholic. The book is called. laughter stroker. The book is called a warning. Hey, anonymous, isnt it a little late for a warning . laughter thats like saying an iceberg after jack and rose are already clinging to that door in the middle of the ocean. Also, do we need another white house tellall . Weve already got fear, devils bargain, fire and fury, unhinged, and team of vipers. Those are just the ones already published. Next year theyre publishing horror, dismay, the end of america, apocalypse, really bad stuff, and elevator fart. cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Such good guests. Stick around thud crash grunting whistle play it cool and escape heartburn fast with tums chewy bites cooling sensation. Tum tututum tums [ turn around, look a there is someone walking behind you turn around look at me there is someone look at me the pain and swelling. The psoriasis. Cosentyx treats more than just the joint pain of active psoriatic arthritis. It even helps stop further joint damage. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. Get real relief, with cosentyx. Nyquifor your worst cold andrful relieflu symptoms, on sunday night and every night. Nyquil severe. The nightime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, best sleep with a cold, medicine. And you realize you are the the hostess with the mostest. You know when youre at ross yes yeah thats yes for less. Entertain in style all season long. It feels even better when you find it for lessat ross. Yes for less. You know when youre at just keeps Getting Better . Ook check this out thats yes for less. Score a headtotoe look youll love and save 20 to 60 percent off Department Store prices. At ross. Yes for less. band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody. Give it up for the band right there cheers and applause stephen jon, my first guest tonight is a giant, a legend and a legendary giant. Please welcome eddie murphy applause cheers and applause applause cheers and applause thank you. Stephen thanks for being on. Nice to see you. Thats a nice, warm, new york welcome. Stephen it is. applause stephen welcome back to the ed sullivan theater. I know you havent been here in about eight years. And its still freezing here. Stephen comedy weather. Comedy weather. So cold. Stephen what was the first talk show you were on back in the day, when you first sort of hit . The first real, Real Talk Show . Sphen like a latenight talk show. You were on johnny, i assume. The tonight show. Stephen what was it like going on that show . How old were you at the time . I was 20. Stephen wow yeah. laughter stephen thats thats young. I was really young. Back then, that was the ultimate to get on the tonight show. Glvment sure. Yeah, that was a great moment. Stephen yeah. How did they make you prepare . Was it like you have to have three stories and they would be looking over you like hawks. They just said, dont wear anything white. Back then you couldnt wear a white siewpt because it would do a weird thing to the camera, some kind of effect, so you couldnt wear anything white. Thats what they said. Stephen do you remember what you wore . I had a blue suit on with a tie and white shirt. I was kind of almost what you have on. laughter stephen its in honor of your first appearance on carson. We looked it up. We looked it up. laughter well, you were so young, as we were saying, 20 years old, when you hit super stardom. 19 when you were hired for s. N. L. Auditioned at 18. Stephen and got there at 19. I think theyre retroactively really happy for young you to have gotten that gig. Did it freak you out at all because thats really young . You exploded right away. You were the breakout star, you and piscopo in the cast from 8085 . No, i was only on two and a half, three years. Stephen 80 to 83. Did that overwhelm you in any way . You became enormous right away . I was young and you know when youre young you take everything for granted. Now when i look back on it, i was like wow. Back then i was like, yeah, its supposed to be like this, right . I thought thats how it was. Stephen how long had you already been gigging before you did that . I started when i was 15. Stephen and what were those clubs like . At 15 were they serving liquor in there. Bar s. Stephen did you have to lie about your age so they would let you perform . Yeah, i would say i was 18, take my mothers little mascara thing, give me a little mustache. Stephen brush it in. And i had my sunglasses on, and i said i was 18. Stephen because older people wear sunglass at night . Thats just the way i was thinking. I was really young. Law laugh. Stephen from your Vantage Point now if you could go back and talk to that 18, 19yearold what, advice would you give him . Thats so much stuff. That person back then wouldnt have listened to anything i had to say. Stephen thats actually thats probably true. He did not listen to advice. Stephen thats probably true. I have a friend, an old priest, a friend of my fathers, and i said, harry, i wish i could talk to my dad, because i was in my 20s, get some advice sm. And he said, well, if it makes you feel any better, you probably wouldnt listen. Yeah. Stephen what would you tell him that you wouldnt listen to . You see you try to avoid the question and i just i dont do a lot of stephen im doing my job now. I dont give a lot of advice. Everybody has a different path to, you know, take. So i dont give a lot of advice. To the young comics i wont be giving advice. Stephen how about old comics . Would you give old comics advice . Just keep doing what youre doing, stephen. Stephen youre a natural kid. Newer a natural best. Stephen here is somebody who did not hit right away, did not explode at 19, Rudy Ray Moore who you play in your new movie dolemite is my name. Did not get famous until he got older. I know who Rudy Ray Moore is. You do . I do. Thats good. Stephen its a little bit complicated who he swho dole might is and what he did with the movie. Explain to the people who Rudy Ray Moore was. Rudy ray moore was this underground comedian back in the 70s and he did a really, really, really xrated adult humor. And he like i said he was underground and he developed this cult following of people. And he made these movies. He financed his movies himself, and he did these comedy records and financed himself. It was like he couldnt get in in the 70s there was a little period called the black exploreitation area where he was doing different times of movies and he couldnt get in with them. They were like, we dont want to work with you. And he had to go backdoor and get his own stuff made. And he became like a little hero of my. He was like this guerrilla filmmaker from the 70s. Stephen this is a famous album cover of his. Im going to show this to the audience yeah, you cant show that on tv. laughter . Stephen there is, literally, we have been told that every single bit of this is going to have to be blurred. Like, the entire album has to be blurred. You know it, but hes not stephen thats what i said. Yeah. Stephen lets show them what were talking about. This is what this was his album. laughter and im saying you cant see anything over here, and you cant really see anything over here. You know what . Thats the tame album cover. He has some album covers that would make me blush. laughter and thats hard. To make me blush. Stephen did you ever meet him . Yeah, i met him a few times. I approached him. I went up to him i saw him at i went to see him a couple of different times. I saw him on a place on ventura boulevard where i had an idea to make a movie 15, 16 years ago, and he had no interest making a movie. Lets go on tour together. He wanted to tour. Stephen why did you want to make this film . Why do you think people what did you want to tell people about this guy . Well, like i said, hes an inspiration. First and foremost, hes very, very funny. His movies started off, like if you watch a Rudy Ray Moore movie. They started off kind of stoner pictures. They were the kind of movies people would smoke, and then they would, like, look, and say, hey, look what he just said. Or hed throw a punch and miss by a lot in the punch, or the microphone, and you could see the microphone come in the shot. So it was stuff like that. And thats what made everybody start watching him initially. Then i started doing comedy myself. And started seeing him a whole different way. Then when i got into movies, it was like then i found out how he made his movies, he became an inspirational figure to me. Like i said, hes a guerrilla filmmaker. Stephen we have a clip right here. You can explain whats going on in this clip . Its and you keeganmichael key. Who i think is the writer of the movie . Yes. In the movie. Stephen in the movie hes the writer of dolemites movie. Were seeing where right now, i can chop me. Stephen okay. laughter its selfexplanatory. Jim. We want this thing to be raw, tell it like it is on the streets. Lots of pimps and cussing and kung fu, karate. Brothers love all the kung fu and karate. You know karate . No, but i can learn. You know what we should have . A allgirl kung fu army. You know, theres plenty of story opportunity, rudy. Across this nation, inner cities are being plagued by violent crime. I feel government hasnt stepped up. Thats it, its whiteys fault. The mayor is corrupt, and theres an exoricism. Damn it, an exoricism. I dont know how that fits into our urban motif. laughter applause stephen he seems like a good producer. Hes got his fing oarpt pulse of the audience there. He is a dude that believed in himself, you know. And when he couldnt get in, he went the back door, and he, like like he went and got somebody to write it, and he went and paid out of his own pocket and he got it made. And were making a movie about his life now. And it just hes a guy his story is inspirational. Because he didnt have all the stuff that usually youre dreaming about show business youve got some special talent or look or something. He didnt have any of those things. Hes this regularlooking guy. His comedy is super crude. His records are super crude. Its like, you believe in this . Yeah, i believe in this. Thats what his talent was. Thats the most important thing is believing in your stuff. If you believe in it, whatever it is, thats the most important ingredient. Stephen maybe thats the advice you could give to the 19yearold self because you just gave advice to everybody. You just gave advice. Thats what i would say to me. Stephen we have to take a break, but dont go anywhere, well be right back with more mr. Eddie murphy, everybody. Stick around. Im your cat. Ever since you brought me home, that day. Ive been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love . This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get astate and be better protected from mayhem, like meow. So get astate and be better protected from mayhem, shes staying in a rainforest tree house . Thats my dream. You dream big for a man on a plane to omaha. And shes zip lining with little jon . What its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Youre with big jon. Im steve. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. With an incredible camera featuring night sight. paul the google pixel 4 has arrived at sprint its now so powerful it lets you capture the stars. So switch and lease a pixel 4 and get the second one for 0 mo. Wow for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. 3 after trying it for a week, dovlike crystal. Ials underarms are so smooth to the touch and i love that fresh smell i feel amazingly protected im definitely feeling more confident would you switch . Performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. applause . Stephen hey, everybody, were back here with eddie murphy now then, mr. Murphy, you might be talking to this guy soon. Because you, of course, also famous can you show that picture . Stephen we might have to blur this picture. Youre right. That is you. applause what year is this . What year is this . I dont know. Stephen a long time ago. I have no idea. Stephen people have been clamoring for you to go do stup again. I understand one of them was barack obama. Obama, yeah, i got this mark twaib prize, when i saw him in the white hous