Toughasnails investigator. announcer people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of onceweekly ozempic®. The other is adam schiff. In a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c they are pelosi, schiff and macgyver. Of less than 7 and maintained it. Finally, a sitcom about a oh under 7 . President raising his two announcer and you may lose weight. Halfwitted sons while in the same oneyear study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. Oh up to 12 pounds . announcer a twoyear study showed that ozempic® does not violating the constitution two increase the risk of major cardiovascular events and a half brains. Its all happening reet here on cbs. And local ukranian affiliates. Like heart attack, stroke, or death. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Oh no increased risk . announcer ozempic® should not be the first medicine tonight ukraine wreck. For treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Plus, stephen welcomes Jennifer Aniston. Do not share needles or pens. Dont reuse needles. And Thomas Middleditch do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or Family History of medullary thyroid cancer, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. And now, le he suln theater in new york stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away city, its Stephen Colbert if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, raorle bathing. cheers and applause serious side effects may happen, stephen come on including pancreatitis. Hey tell your doctor if you have Diabetic Retinopathy how are you . Or vision changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin how are you . May increase the risk for low blood sugar. Common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, cheers and applause hey thanks, everybody. Stomach pain, and constipation. Delightful. Thank you. Please, have a seat. Some side effects can lead to dehydration, youre too kind. Which may worsen kidney problems. Thank you very much. Welcome, one and all to the i discovered the potential with ozempic®. Late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. Oh oh oh ozempic® regardless folks, regardless announcer if eligible, you may pay as of the endless roadblocks, little as 25 per prescription. Ask your Health Care Provider today about onceweekly ozempic®. The president and his axis of allies are trying to throw in front of it, the impeachment inquiry keeps moving forward. And the republicans keep sinking lower. They hit rock bottom a while ago, but in the last 24 hours, theyve gotten out the blasting caps, and theyre fracking americas moral bedrock. Ill tell you all about it in tonights installment of don and the giant impeach. The peevment of your president is a scam. Stephen trump has constantly complained that all the evidence about his ukrainian phone call r 0 bucks starter, tree and dk anytime, anywhere tap to get it togo, tap to get it delivered was hearsay. But today, the house heard your home is now chilis, your phone is a waiter testimony from a firsthand witness director of european just a few taps, baby, taps, baby, taps affairs at the National Security mmmmhmmm council, and military john together we chilis, oh yeah, baby, yeah hodgman, colonel alexander vindman. Now, during trumps ukraine phone call, vindman was listening in from the situation room, so it wasnt hearsay. Vindman could actually hear the bad stuff trump say. Vindman explained, i listened in on the call in the situation room with colleagues from the n. S. C. And the office of the vice president. As the transcript is in the public record, we are all aware of what was said. Yes, we all are. Ukraine said they were ready for more military aid. Then trump said, i want you to do us a favor, though, and then asked for dirt on the bidens and the d. N. C. Pretty bald. Its like if the sixth sense were called bruce willis doesnt know hes dead. laughter . Jon spoiler aletter there. Stephen spoiler alert. Jon yeah. Stephen now, vindmans testimony directly contradicts that of ambassador to the e. U. And jeandouche picard, gordon sondland. Ambassador sondland told house investigators that no one had raised concerns about the president s actions. Yes, vindman did not raise concerns. All he did was convey certain concerns, share his concerns, reported his concerns, and again reported his concerns. Lawr lawr its a classic case of he said, he said, he said, he said. laughter vindman complained at least the holidays begin here twice . At the disneyland resort. Twice, to the National Security council lawyer. Once, he even went in person to speak with him, accompanied by his identical twin brother, yevgeny, who is a lawyer on the National Security council. cheers and applause wait the what stephen hey, everybody, were back with jennifer he has a twin brother who also serves on the n. S. C. . Aniston. Star of the morning show. On apple tvplus. Lets check him out. Ohhhh congratulations. I just found out that on october 15, you broke the Guinness World its so cute when twins dress alike. Laugh record for the fastest time to their dramatic story is reach one million followers on chronicled in the new kids movie, the president trap. Vindmans record is sterling. According to his opening instagram. Statement, for more than two cheers and applause decades, it has been my honor to serve as an officer in the United States army. That time, for those of you i served multiple overseas tours in iraq. I was wounded in an i. E. D. Keeping score at home, five hours 16 minutes to reach one million, beating prince harry. Attack and awarded the purple and, you know, suck it, harry. Heart. The privilege of serving my suck it, harry. Country is not only rooted in my military service but also in my personal history. You gotta have goals, guys. I sit here as a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States you know what i mean . Army, an immigrant. Wow, tast p stephen with this cheers and applause photograph applause crazy. That last part m how often does this happen . How often do you get together . That gathering . It happens a couple once a huge shock to donald trump. as trump every two years. But girls all the time. What do you mean, hes an immigrant . I didnt know those came in stephen yeah. Schwimmer lives here. White you know what, he must be it must be some sort of manlania. meat works. Its hard to get us all in the same place. Stephen people are always clamoring for a reunion. laughter now, i think its fair to say always. Stephen and the other day on ellen you made noises this might happen. I just made noise s. Stephen what is that, unlike donald trump, vindmans character is happening. I said, something is unimpeachable. But that didnt stop all the happening. Stephen what is happening . President s toadies from questioning his loyalty. I dont know. He is from the soviet union. Something is happening. Stephen did you say that toned the question . He emgraiptd here and has an im saying it now to end it. Affinity to the ukranian people. Nothing is happening, maybe something is happening. Mr. Vindman, hes an adviser stephen you can confirm to the president. He is a former ukrainian. Something is happening. Something is happening. cheers and applause he has an affinity, i think, for the ukraine. He speaks ukrainian. He came from the country. Stephen thats official. Senoesnt im of irish descent. I still love the irish, and he has an affinity probably for his homeland. Matter. But something is better than stephen yes, my family are nothing. I agree with you. 100 . Stephen now, this is i think this is truly a milestone in anyones career. I have not achieved this yet unless i have. All from ireland, too. I always had a great affinity i dont know. For the irish, until i found out you are now a lego. This bleep was one. Because this past summer, lego i wonder i wonder applause made a friendsthemed set in i wonder if the scots will take me. Honor of the shows 20th todays hearings were secret, anniversary. I think its central park, they but pretty soon, were going to know everything, because last did the central park set. Night Speaker Nancy Pelosi sent a letter to House Democrats announcing that the house will your friend Matthew Perry made vote to formalize the procedures in the ongoing impeachment this bold claim. He said, you can clearly see inquiry of president trump. Chandler is the most attractive. She even sent out postcards such a Matthew Perry thing to save the date and our democracy. Say. Stephen i question that. laughter applause pelosi cheers i dont know what to wear. I dont know what to wear, jon cheers and applause jon oh, man you got to find something stephen yeah, its even Stephen Pelosi insists that got its got the hair. No formal vote is necessary to its got the hair. Im not sure what season this impeach a president but says that trump and his supporters is, because ive not had that argue that, because the house kind of an angled bob. Has not taken a vote, they may simply pretend the impeachment but Chris Mcmillan would know. Inquiry does not exist. Hes here. Yeah, trumps strategy on a lot this is you could go let go of my lego. Of things is just to pretend it i dont know why i stephen you can do this, too. Doesnt exist the popular vote, or dear. But fall over. The constitution, salad, eric. Thats what happens when you laughter thats what happens when we take the wig off. Stephen look. Oh, no now, pelosi promises that the thats a little thats an resolution creates hearings that are open to the american people. That means live televised exorcist stephen angry. Hearings. And heres Matthew Perry. Its going be the highest ratings for cspan since Matthew Perry right there. Watergate, when Congress Heard we can take his hair off. Testimony from the fonz. Oh, yes. laughter equal wl now. Mr. Fonz rely, do you wear to applause well, im now im clearly the tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . Most attractive friend. as fonz stephen heres the thing . Yes, sir. Stephen i dont want this ayyyyyy to end. Why does it have to. Because theres wait, whats his name . Stephen please say that again. It will make him feel so good. Wow. Ayyyyyy trump reacted on twitter to the whats his name has to come looming Impeachment Vote nervous nancy pelosi is doing out. I didnt read it. Everything possible to destroy i just heard the last name. The republican party. Stephen its a hard name. Our polls show that it is going Thomas Middleditch. To be just the oppidite. That guy. Stephen is he waiting in the wings . He left. Thomas middleditch left. cheers and applause yes. Now we have more time. The oppidite. All the time in the world. Stephen lets keep going. The oppidite, my friends. What do you want to talk about . Whats on your mind . Before we go, do you mind do well, mr. Pepsident, you are clearly you mind . The vote to formalize the this dress is absolutely impeachment inquiry will be held beautiful. I can point something out to the people at home. You can do whatever you want. Stephen do you mind on thursday, and that very standing up. Not at all. Night, my guest will be Nancy Stephen what i like about pelosi. This dress, its fantastic. This dress has something you yes. cheers and applause boom come on rare rarely see in any dress i dont want to get too familiar here. Fancy nancy. You can unlook this right here and it unhooks from the back, that night, that night, of course, is also halloween. Too. And you have a cape. So were calling it nancy peghostys Haunted House screampeachment sinquiry into applause youre a youre a superhero. The president s quid pro crow with bookraine cheers and applause applause youre a super hero. Or there are a lot of things we can do with this toy. We should call it that. We should call it that. Stephen in a pifn, like, in a pinch, you hansomeith that. I sure could. Vindman is not the only veteran coming forward with harrowing stories from the white house, stephen i can see that . Because we just got some new you look you are so dish from former white house appropriate in a cape. Chief of staff and man embodying the phrase what the hell oh, first of all, cheers and applause general john kelly. Key left tten you have to wear this i wish i had my camera. January of. Im going to guess its really good. Stephen listen, im 1852. Keeping this now. At an event, last weekend . Okay. Ive of im off to another event. Last weekend, he revealed a warning he gave trump while he was looking for a new chief of stephen the morning show staff. Begins this friday on apple tv we were still in the process plus. Of trying to find someone to Jennifer Aniston, everybody well be right back with take my place. Silicon valleys Thomas Middleditch. I said, whatever you do, dont dont hire a yes man, someone thats going to tell you wont tell you the truth. Dont do that. I had psoriasis everywhere. Head to toe. Because if you do, i believe you will be impeached. People were afraid i was contagious. Stephen yes, john kelly has alright, ill be back in one hour. Psychic powers. My skin hurt. laughter . I felt gross. He can foretell the obvious. Whats up jay . Hows everything . Whats up man . Hope youve been practicing . Hes nostradumbass. But then i started cosentyx. And i havent really had to think about it. laughter trump responded to kellys see me. Criticism in a statement saying, cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. John kelly never said that. Th real people with psoriasis. Look and feel better with cosentyx. If he would have said that, i would have thrown him out of the office. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. He just wants to come back io the action like everybody else before starting, get checked. Does. For tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Kelly just misses the action . And lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection. Or symptoms. If your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop. I mean, just look at how much. Or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine. Or plan to. Serious allergic reactions. Fun he had . May occur. I just look and feel better. Trump wasnt the only one see me. Yeah, like gum in my moight. Ask your dermatologist if cosentyx could help you move past the pain of psoriasis. Trump wasnt the only one who had harsh words for kelly. So did White House Press secretary and stepford full of flavor. Spokesman, stephanie grisham, color. Full of. Who said, i worked with john woo full of good. Kelly, and he was totally so you can be too. Unequipped to handle the genius try our new warm grain bowls today. Of our great president. Order now on grubhub. Audience oooh try our new warm grain bowls today. Boo stephen yeah, yeah. They Work Together doing important stuff. That was a slow build. The hitch . Like you, your cells get hungry. Feed them. Now, sounds like trumps buddy,. With centrum® micronutrients. Kim jongun, has really rubbed off on him. Restoring your awesome. Daily. As a matter of fact, north centrum® feed your cells. Koreas news leader has also been reporting this story. Kes unequied to handle the genius of glorious leader donald johntrump, he of the perfect phone call. He whose birth was heralded by a flock of starlings that gathered to spell hamberder across the heavens. Even the cruel sorceress bette midler wept with joy when the newborn trump leapt from his mothers womb into a firetruck and hit a thousand holes in one at trump doral. Seasonal rates available now. laughter applause . Stephen thats a good deal. Theyve got great deals going on. Fantastic deals going on. applause no last night,sint its kin oute. In keepingh tradition, trumpwelr families, ell asal a soky experience for those children as kid its that big, creepy house on the end of the block. They say the old man who lives there wears hair made from dead people laughter he looks like hes wearing somebody elses skin laughter to kick things off, the president and the first lady walked out to the Addams Family theme song. Take a look. Addams Family theme plays thats nice. Thats nice. Also makes sense. The trumps are also creepy, kooky, and have their own uncle fester. laughter applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Jennifer aniston is here. But when we return, meanwhile kerrygold has a taste so rich it can take you to irelands lush, green pastures. Where grassfed cows produce rich, creamy milk for a truly delicious taste. Kerrygold. The taste that takes you there. man sneezes whats the time . Device a dime is ten cents. Severe cold or flu . Take control with theraflu. Powerful, soothing relief to defeat your worst cold and flu symptoms fast. Device sneezes theraflu. The power is in your hands. Iced chai. Ry. The people, people pad thai. Baked pie. Dancing on the people i got people on the people, people pork chop. Soda pop. Scallop. Kebobs. Soursop. Hot pot. Dumpling. Chicken wing. Peking. Onion ring. [screaming]th pe we are americas kitchen. Uncheeople doordash. Every flavor welcome. Climb up on the booth hanging from the people on the people olays new retinol24 faced the competition and rose above. Olays new retinol24 faced the competition and rose above. Olays retinol24 complex olays retinol24 complex hydrates better than the 1 retinol. Hydrates better than the 1 retinol. Visibly smoother brighter skin in 24 hours. Visibly smoother brighter skin in 24 hours. New olay retinol24. New olay retinol24. Ever since you brought me home, that day. But she wanted someone who loves with the cats. Ng. So, we got griswalda. Ive been plotting to destroy you. Dinners almost ready. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. But one thing we could both agree on you think this is love . Was getting geico to help with our renters insurance. This is a billion years of tiger dna just ready to pounce. Yeah, switching and saving was really easy drink it all up. Good and if you h