Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 2024

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240712

Seen of me on twitter. Yes, thats me. And, yes, thats an unarmed protester in a cage. But in my defense, he was resisting. And delicious. Remember, only you are responsible for what i do with dr. Stick here. Im just following orders now, if youll excuse me, curfews coming up, and i need to go season a few protesters. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight more quiet than riot. Plus, stephen welcomes congresswoman karen bass. Andrew ross sorkin. And musical guests grace potter with jackson browne, marcus king, and lucius. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen you ready over there . Yeah. Stephen what, are you ordering dinner . I was just checking my emails, babe. Stephen youre checking your emails . Were doing a show. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its friday. America made it to the end of the week. So, tgif, by which, of course, now stands for this government is fascist. Im kidding, obviously. It really stands for, tell god im furious. As the week has gone on, the protests over the murder of george floyd have become decidedly peaceful, despite the best efforts of some police, like in buffalo, new york. Police in full riot gear which really is the look of the summer kevlar is so slenderizing came in to enforce a curfew that was in full daylight on a crowd of peaceful protesters. One 75yearold man approached them to object. Now, i want to warn you, like most of the cell phone videos weve been seeing lately, this is not for the faint of heart. Or even for the of heart. Move hey stephen that is horrible and shocking. And we didnt even show you all of it. How could anyone possibly consider that guy a threat . You dont understand. He was coming at me all hopped up on metamucil and werthers originals. He had a catheter he could have lubricated me the video clearly shows what the police did, but before the police knew there was a video of it, they released a statement that said the man tripped and fell. Wow, thats some serious gaslighting. Thats teargas lighting. Id love to see these cops describe the death of sonny corleone. After approaching a toll booth, mr. Corleone asked the officer for change, then he accidentally stepped in front of the high velocity lead nickels. And yesterday, in the bronx, just before 8 00 p. M. , a peaceful protest was breaking up when, according to one journalist, this group of heavily armored bike cops intercepted the group, yelled move, and knocked people back with bikes all at once. Then cops charged from the back with batons out, multiple people hit, someone bleeding from the head. This wasnt even a confrontation. It was a trap. It was obviously a trap, especially when you see the sign one officer put up. Now, multiple jounalists on the scene and they say this protest was entirely nonviolent, so the crowd started chanting, we are peaceful. What the bleep are you . Its a little salty, but very moving. It reminds me of when gandhi said, be the bleep change you wan to see in the world, bleep mahatma out they also had problems in asheville, north carolina, where, as part of enforcing that citys curfew, riot police destroyed medical supplies at a station set up to aid demonstrators. Why would anyone destroy a medical station . After all, america loves putting bandaids on deepseated racial problems. The joke that healed a nation stephen one weird detail is the police were stomping on Water Bottles and stabbing the bottles with a knife. They had no choice. There were credible reports that the water was a clear member of the dangerous terrorist group alquafina. If you want to disburse a crowd of peaceful people, maybe dont dress like youre going to war. Because its just human nature you give someone a helmet and shoulder pads, theyre going to play football. And admittedly, this isnt football, but i will point out that black people arent allowed to kneel in this one either. Now today, President Trump held a press conference to announce an improved jobs report, but took the time to talk about his plan to crack down for racial justice. Call in the national guard. Call me, and well have so many people. More people than you have to dominate the streets. You cant let what is happening happen. Its called dominate the streets. Stephen as trump call me now, and i will dominate your streets. Storm troopers are standing by with the hottest pepper spray, ready to destroy your medical tent. Just call 1555domin8. So, after offering governors the allyoucanstomp justice buffet, he went back to the script and said that equal justice is whats written on this piece of paper, and its good for people who might want that and, ultimately, this is all great. And if you dont believe him, ask a guy he definitely should not speak for hopefully, george is looking down right now and saying this is a great thing thats happening for our country. This is a great day for him, and its a great day for everybody. This is a great day for everybody. Stephen as trump everybody except george, obviously. Hes having a pretty crappy day, because a racist autocrat is hijacking his memory at a photo op. Thats got to sting. Now, with federal forces deployed to dominate the protests, our Nations Capital appears to be under invasion by the United States, giving us images i never thought id see, like armored transports wheeling down the street past the museum of African American history and culture. Come on, guys maybe take a little pit stop on your right. Learn some history the photos of you driving by it are going to be in there one day. Some of the officers who showed up in d. C. To put down the protests are a complete mystery because their uniforms have no insignia, identifying emblems, or name badges. You cant do that clear identification is how we hold Law Enforcement accountable just like the waiters at chilis. Im not eating a triple dipper from just anybody in a red polo shirt. I need to know his name is chad there have to be standards heres some more footage of these new secret police with mismatched helmets, pants, and vests. But at least they coordinated by all being white. Now, the mastermind behind take your unmarked militia to the capital day is attorney general bill barr, seen here distracted by the sound of a passing ice cream truck. It was barr who decided to supplement the local police with agents from the f. B. I. , the a. T. F, the department of Homeland Security and maybe most frightening riot units from the bureau of prisons. Nothing says you live in a free society like being policed by Prison Guards outside of a prison. You think tear gas is bad, wait for a sockfull of batteries. If thats not dystopian dystupid enough, folks in d. C. Have also spotted white marked patrol vehicles labeled only as United States police. So the bad news is we now have a secret police. The good news is theyre really bad at keeping it secret. United States Police turns out to actually be the vague public name given to what is formally known as the c. I. A. s Security Protective services. Theyre a unique organization because they carry weapons but dont have any clear Law Enforcement authority. Or as one agent chillingly put it, we cant arrest you, but we can kill you. Not as catchy as protect and serve, but at least its more honest. Either way, thats the last time you shoplift at claires now, these guys have all been called in by bill barr as part of his strategy to flood the zone by putting the maximum amount of Law Enforcement out on the street. Flood the zone . I believe thats the same thing donald trump asked for in that moscow hotel room. Would have worked three years ago stephen its been two days since we got the stunning statement from former defense secretary and fourstar general jim mattis, where he accused trump of being a threat to the constitution. Mattis decision to speak out made an impact on alaska senator and Mortal Kombat character whose finishing move is being troubled, lisa murkowski. Murkowski made a vague statement about not being certain she would support trump in 2020. And that set donald trump off, who tweeted, few people know where theyll be in two years from now, but i do in the great state of alaska which i love campaigning against senator lisa murkowski. Get any candidate ready, good or bad, i dont care. Im endorsing. If you have a pulse, im with you just a pulse. So, alaska, get ready for your new senator, racist narwhal. Well, riding to trumps defense is none other than former trump lawyer and alfred hitchdick, john dowd. Yesterday, trump shared a rambling letter by dowd, which dowd totally wrote himself, responding to general mattiss sharp criticism of the way trump is dividing the country. Again, dowd definitely wrote this. So let me try my best dowd impression as trump the phony protesters near lafayette were not peaceful and are not real. Well, for something thats not real, trump sure is scared of them. Remind me never to take him to a halloween haunted house. as trump ahhh its a bowl full of peeled grapes to the bunker dowd claimed that the protesters were abusing and disrespecting the police when the police were preparing the area for the 1900 curfew. By the way, 1900 isnt military time, its the year trump wants to take us back to. Now, the letter trump tweeted also said of these peaceful protesters, they are terrorists. Terrorists. Why is the government afraid of its own citizens . Thats not an opinion or an accusation. Thats a plain fact. Trump is afraid of us. Why else would he put the white house inside a shark cage . Only, this time, its to protect the great whites. Now, its not necessarily a bad thing for the government to fear its own people. Leaders should have a healthy caution of overstepping the rights of their citizens, lest they rise up to remove them. In european history, a lot of times headfirst. Over the past ten days, the people have publicly assembled to petition the government to redress their grievances, and in response, our leaders are trying to intimidate us into silence. It wont work. First of all, the government is too weak. How weak . Weak enough to shove an old man. As isaac asimov said, violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Secondtolast refuge . Desperately tweeting law and order. And, second of all, theyre outnumbered. There are just too many voices in too many cities and towns from hawaii to maine, all demanding that every american receive equally the first government benefit ever promised us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And youre not going to intimidate them. If you think you can make them protest the way you want them to, then youve never protested. The whole point is making the powerful uncomfortable. Side benefit its a great way to get your steps in. And speaking of comfort i just want to speak for a moment to my fellow white people, if i may. What are you afraid of . Violence . Then you would get rid of guns. Losing money to redistribution . Then you would tax the rich, who pay less than you do. Reparations . How much money have you lost just this year to the criminal mismanagement of the covid crisis . Loss of control . We white people have no problem losing control when the wedding d. J. Plays bruno mars. Uptown funk gonna get ya. Dont believe me . Just watch. This movement, this moment wont end without demonstrable, quantifiable change new laws, new consequences for those who abuse their power. Maybe thats why our government is afraid. They know that Representative Government is powerless without the consent of the people. Once it loses that consent, its no longer representative. It is, to borrow the words of a sad little man pretending to be his own lawyer, not real. And white americans will soon be a minority. And thats great our only spice is potato learn from history the minority has never been able to control the majority without first denying the majoritys humanity, and thereby losing their own. Weve got a good show for you tonight. Ill be talking to the chair of the Congressional Black Caucus, congresswoman karen bass. Stick around. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Hold on one second. Sure. Okay. Okay safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. [10th gen intel bong] clean. Tone. Spin sprint. Slam. Pan battle. Roll drum. Joust. Scuba. Swim surf. Surf. Surf. Surf boost. Bike. Balance. Board dance. Roll. Rock. Kick. Flip. Dog. Dive cool . Drop the taco. Get in the car. Does this sentra feel like a compromise to you . Wait, what. . The handling is good, right . No compromise there. Nope watch this. Umm. Bbrie. Brie brie rear automatic braking. So if this Nissan Sentra isnt gonna compromise, why should you . Youre right atta girl. The allnew Nissan Sentra. With more standard safety features than any other car in its class. With more standard safety features when we closed our wynn committed instantly to keeping all 15,000 team members onboard. We then focused our fivestar level of service to all who needed it. We made improvements to peoples lives. We strove to be better and we made people happy. This closure may have temporarily taken us out of wynn and encore, but it couldnt take the wynn and encore out of us. And now, we are proud to welcome you back. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Lets check in with our friend, jon batiste. Hello, jon. Jon hello. Whats going on . Whats the word . Stephen i dont i want to know whats going on with you, because i know on saturday, you are going to be leading a march, an event, a happening jon yes. Stephen about justice. Wheres it going to be . And how can people learn about it . Jon oh, my goodness, well go on instagram, jon batiste, and youll see it there. Its going to start at union square at 1 00 p. M. , and were going to march and we are going to celebrate and sing songs of love and freedom. And i think its going to be very, very impactful. So, please, join us. Stephen i am so happy to hear that, jon. Jon mmm. Stephen i think i think you have the spirit of love and inclusiveness, and joy that is going to be so meaningful to people this weekend. And i hope a lot of people show up. Be careful, please stephen oh, yeah, yeah. Got to be careful out there. Stephen peaceful march, peaceful march. Jon its peaceful. We are peaceful, but we mean business. So, were the business of peace. Stephen well, jon, do you got anything to play for us as we go out to the weekend here . Maybe a Little Something you might be playing tomorrow . Jon oh, my goodness. Aint gonna let nobody turn me round turn me round turn me round aint going to let nobody turn me round going to keep on marching keep on marching marching on to freedom land stephen its not going to get better than that. Thank you, jon. Jon yes, indeed, yes, indeed. Stephen have a good weekend. Jon you, too have a good one stephen my first guest tonight has been a congresswoman since 2011. Shes currently the chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus and leading the houses legislative strategy on justice for black americans. Please welcome congresswoman karen bass. Congresswoman, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me on. Stephen now, i understand as the chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus, you just ended a virtual town hall called, living while black in america. Who were some of the voices you were hearing from today . Well, lots of people who were involved in Different Community activities, period, but especially right now because of what were facing. And people were just in general expressing their anguish and their fatigue how long, how long, how long . How many people have to be killed on video . Stephen what. What is what needs to happen now legislatively . What do you as a congresswoman, the Congressional Black Caucus, the democrats and those allies you can find in the republican caucus, who sort of see the Inflection Point were at right now . I know that Speaker Pelosi has asked you to lead the action thats going to be taken to investigate what can be done right now. What are your plans in the short term . Sure. Well, on monday we will be having a press Conference Unveiling a bill that we will introduce simultaneously in the house and the senate. And, basically, the bill covers several areas, but let me just put it this way it is so difficult when you find an officer that has been problematic excessive force, numerous complaints its difficult to fire the individual, prosecute the individual, or sue the individual. And so laws need to be changed to allow officers to be accountable. Then there needs to be legislation that increases transparency. So, for example, with the officer that killed george floyd, he was fired. If he had not been arrested, he could have easily moved to another town and been hired as a Police Officer. And so, coming from the perspective of any profession i dont care what profession it is, yours, mine none of us want to have bad apples in our profession that soil the name of the profession that were in. And so wanting to give Police Departments tools so that they can fire an officer and then they can know whether that officer is going to another town. So, a National Database of officers that are problematic. Stephen so if a say, the officer who killed george floyd, if hed gone to another town, there would be no call to the Previous Police department hed worked for . They would no

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