Is he besties with the chinese bat that started it all . Heres how they looked when they were dining together. Not a pretty picture. The bat or shrimp primavera. And if dr. Fauci has so much integrity, then why is he working with these unscrupulous characters . Anthony fauci if it were up to him, we would all be alive. Im donald trump and i wish you were dead. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, surgeon u. S. A. Plus stephen welcomes tom hanks, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen what do you think about the hair today . You like it . Its a little fluffy. Grey. Stephen its a little grey. But it was grey before. Now its grey and fluffy. Its got vitality. Im going for a modern french philosopher look. Good. Welcome to a late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its day 123 since i left my theater, but whos counting . I am. By carving notches into my shin just to feel the passage of time. And its beginning to seem like our four months of sacrifice may have been for naught. Because coronavirus cases are spiking all over the place. Even the states that did it right are now backsliding. For instance, yesterday, governor gavin newsom announced a new wave of california closures as covid19 positive rates spiked there. Theyre shutting down, again. Hollywood loves a sequel. This time its shutdown 2 we opened up 2 fast and people are furious. Yesterday, newsom instructed bars, movie theatres, restaurants, and zoos to cease indoor operations. Also closed are all indoor restaurantzoos like actual panda express. Oh, yeah. Theyll eat ya. They run out of bamboo, they move on to manboo. It was also announced that los angeles and san diego have abandoned plans for even a partial physical return to classrooms. No inperson schooling. So bullies, youre going to have to get the nerds to venmo you their lunch money. We know trump wants to reopen the schools, and this is surprising, hes not wrong to want that. Because according to experts during the first round of school closures, American Children were set back, on average, by seven months in their reading and math learning. Were already seven months behind on math. If we fall another seven months behind, there will be no way to know how many months that is. But as bad as things are in california, as it says in their tourist slogan, its always worse in florida. On saturday, the state broke the nations Covid Infection record, and yesterday florida announced another 12,000 new cases. Well, at least they dont have a lot of old people down there. Or at least, thanks to their governor, they wont in about three weeks. Yesterday, one Infectious Disease expert said this miami is now the epicenter of the pandemic. What we were seeing in wuhan six months ago, five months ago, now we are there. Stephen yes, miami is the new wuhan. Which is why pitbull has changed his name from there 305 to mr. 282,000 cases. This has presented a problem for Florida Governor and escaped museum exhibit, ron desantis. Desantis didnt take the virus seriously and now his state is the epicenter, but hes not worried a lot of folks have been working a long time, really since march on this. I know weve had different blips. Now were at a higher blip than we were in may and the beginning of june. Stephen see surge is scary, but a blip is just a fun word florida is having a big blip due to record cases of oopsie testies and over 4,000 zippitydoodeaths. But okay, it might not be that bad. Lets take a look at the curve in florida. Gah if you think thats just a blip, governor, youve got blip for brains. Coincidentally, floridas also the site of the upcoming Republican National convention. Theyll be fine, as long as everyone remembers to wear their elephant plague masks. Trump moved the convention from charlotte, North Carolina to jacksonville, florida because North Carolina officialsh insisted on things like social distancing and masks for attendees. as trump wearing a mask blocks all the sensation. You cant even feel it when you reach nomination. Im just going to take it off at the end and nominate myself. That joke stays in. That joke stays in. A lot of republicans are planning to skip trumps covid comin out party including senator roy blunt of missouri, senator pat roberts of kansas, senator charles e. Grassley, and senator Lamar Alexander. Why are those guys so worried about going . Can we get a look at them . Oh, my god, they are beyond high risk. They are blips waiting to happen. They got one blip in the grave. Its not just seniors, as one g. O. P. Representative put it everybody just assumes no one is going. Even the r. S. V. P. S say check one not attending, what . No or im ready, jesus. But no one wants to get on trumps bad side, so theyre all ready with airtight excuses for why theyre staying home. Take 84 yearold senator pat roberts who explained, he would likely not be attending because he had some things to do in kansas and, in any case, he didnt know what was canceled and what was not and whatever. Oh, id love to go but ive already scheduled. Things. Kansas stuff. You know, polish the tornadoes. Meet the wheat. Gotta do the whatchamacallit with whose his face. Not to mention put the doohickey on my thingamabob with. mumbles . Sorry. I cant hear you, my mask is going through a tunnel i dont blame any of these people for not going. Not only is florida the new epicenter, but in addition Party Officials were considering docking cruise ships in the citys port to provide extra lodging. So youre in florida, spending all day in an auditorium full of screaming people who dont wear masks, then you go home to a floating petri dish. Only way it would be more infectious is if dinner was an all you can bob lasagna buffet. Of course, not everyones afraid. One 80yearold r. N. C. Member from virginia says, its a risk you have to take. You take risks every day. You drive down the street and a cement truck could crash into you. as trump ooo, thats a great idea for the finale of my speech. I get to drive a cement truck. Toot toot. Hold still florida representative matt gaetz is not concerned about who is and who isnt going, telling reporters, everyone in the media wants to act like its some big deal that Susan Collins and Lamar Alexander arent going to the convention. The octogenarians and septuagenarians of the senate are surely lower than the number who have purchased their third star wars costume. Of course, matt gaetz comes with his own star wars costume. There may be a safer way, though, because republicans are looking into holding their convention outdoors. Thats right. An Outdoor Convention in late august in florida. I dont know if theyve drained the swamp, but they better be ready to drain the swamp ass. I believe we have a preview of Mick Mulvaney delivering his keynote speech in the florida heat he looks good. The solution to this rapid spread is as plain as the nose on your face which i shouldnt be able to see because it should be behind a mask but unfortunately for future republican votes, people who dont wear masks seem always to be republican. Take texas senator and man whose beard shrunk in the dryer, ted cruz. A fellow passenger recently photographed cruz on an American Airlines flight not wearing a mask. You cant expect cruz to hide the moneymaker, in that i would pay money to see less of his face. The airlines have a policy that passengers must wear face coverings during the flight but cruzs staff explained that the senator had just temporarily removed his mask to drink coffee. But the same passenger also took this photo of cruz at the gate also not wearing a mask. Come on, ted, whats it gonna take to get you to be a fan of masks . Have the masks call your wife ugly and accuse your dad of killing j. F. K. . Thats based on a true story, that joke. Republicans are also attacking the most reliable person telling us to wear a mask, dr. Anthony fauci. The latest person to go after the good doctor is trump adviser and paper football goalpost stephen moore. Moore says hes writing a memo that shows how many times dr faucis been wrong during not just this pandemic, but his entire career, and hes been working on it for weeks. I wouldnt make that too long of a memo, steve. Trump tends to lose interest on page any. Moore says, faucis been dr. Doom. yeah, faucis exactly like dr. Doom. Greetings fantastic four remember to stay six feet apart wash your hands for 20 seconds, and be like me wear a mask or prepare to meet your doom i want you to keep your nana safe hahahahaha stephen while we were taping tonights episode, trump sat down for a stand up interview with cbs news catherine herridge. And reminded us that as bad as he is dealing with the coronavirus, hes just as bad with race relations. Lets talk about george floyd. You said George Floyds death was a terrible thing. Terrible. Why are African Americans still dying at the hands of Law Enforcement in this country . And so are white people. So are white people. What a terrible question to ask. So are white people. More white people, by the way, more white people. Stephen well, thats comforting. Such a terrible question. Let me stop you right there. Our brave policemen are killing all people. No lives matter. The topic then turned to. Lets say, heritage would you be comfortable with your supporters displaying the confederate battle flag at political events . Well, you know, it depends what your definition is, but i am comfortable with freedom of speech. Its very simple. Stephen it depends on what your definition is of what . Flag . Okay, ill give you that one Confederate Flag noun. Flappy thing people in the south flew when they were fighting the United States so they could continue to enslave black people. Nothing . Sorry, i forgot who i was dealing with. Its that x thing on the top of the dukes of hazzard car. Trump doesnt get what all the fuss with the Confederate Flag is about. But you understand why the flag is a painful symbol for many people because its a reminder of slavery. Well people love it, and i dont view i know people that like the Confederate Flag and theyre not thinking about slavery. Stephen as trump theyre not thinking about slavery, theyre thinking about the very fine people who fought to preserve slavery. Big difference. Trumps lousy summer is about to get even worse because, today, a new tellall was released, and this one hits home. It was written by president ial niece, and woman worried how youll feel about her when you find out her last name is trump, mary trump. Trumps own family is turning on him. Hes gonna have to keep a close eye on his kids and not just in case eric gets his head stuck inside a birdhouse again. Mary trumps book about her uncle is called too much and never enough. She got the title after watching her uncle at an omelette bar. Trumps brother sued to stop the release of this book, but were seeing it now because, last night, a judge ruled that the books discussion of the trump family was not covered in their 2001 confidentiality agreement. Theres a red flag. What kind of family has a confidentiality agreement . as fun parent alright kids its family game night first, lets sign this n. D. A. So no one ever learns that da loses his bleep when he lands on park place. Okay. Have that notarized. Mary trump has known donald trump all her life, and she does not hold back. In the book, she says that, donald is not simply weak, his ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment because he knows deep down that he is nothing of what he claims to be. He knows he has never been loved. Hey, thats not fair. We know hes been loved at least twice. 130,000 worth. Mary trump writes a lot about donalds dad, fred trump, labeling him a highfunctioning sociopath. If only he had passed down the highfunctioning part. Weve got a great show for you tonight, tom hanks is here stick around. At tmobile, you dont have to choose between a Great Network and the best prices. We give you both. 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My first guest is a great big movie star who has now written and stars in the new film, greyhound. yelling forward ahead full crashing sounds brace for collision stephen please welcome to a late show, tom hanks hello, tom you know, one thing i have to say, your joke bit rate is sky high when i watch your monologues now because theres absolutely no gap for anything. You dont have anybody you know, jon isnt over there, you cant stephen nope. laughter well, you do, but theres no laughter. Stephen theres no but heres the nice thing, tom, and lets just assume weve already started our interview, shall we . Fine by me. Stephen the nice thing is that we always talk about the National Conversation, and the National Conversation has gotten so dark that, normally, as a performer, you have to worry about what order do i want to tell the stories, i dont want to bum out the the audience, i dont want to kill out the laughter for the rest of the monologue. Doesnt matter, man. Talk about anything you want. Just silence, just crickets the entire time. Its leak you had a dinner party and nobody showed up except you and the wife. Stephen thats true. Chatting about your day. Stephen speaking of you and the lovely wife, i know that the two of you just celebrated your birthday. Happy birthday, first of all. Thank you. Im 64 years old. You know how when you turn 64 you just get hundred emails and every single one of them references that beetle song, every single one of them. Stephen did you do anything special for your birthday . Uh, no. Stephen oh, thats too bad. Nothing. Nothing. Stephen i suppose everything seems a little special right now because the two of you were the first sort of famous people that any of us knew to go through the famous people. I love the way not only do you do that but you threw in sort of as well. Stephen i dont want you to be defined. I know you dont define yourself as being famous, youre just Thomas Jeffery hanks, the same guy. No, no. You know, when that came up, we decided because we were down in australia and i started working on the movie. The movie got shut down almost in tandem with us getting our positive results, so we didnt want there to be, like, a brand of information out there that we were the cause of the movie being shut down. So its, hey positive and then they put us in the hospital so we would not give it to anybody else. You see. Stephen were you surprised that you got the coronavirus . Because a lot of us were surprised. When we found out that tom hanks and rita wilson had it, we were, like, well, then, were all screwed. laughter i mean, theyre famous if they got it yeah. Stephen you travel in a hermetic bubble at all times. I actually do. I have a staff of six that keep an orb of plexiglass all the time and i breathe purified air inside. Stephen were you surprised . Yes, we were. We had no idea how it could have happened, where it would have happened. Then we went back, and they actually asked us where have you been and what have you done . And we had been down . Sydney. My wife actually performed she sang at one of the theaters inside of the sydney opera house, which was a fabulous thing. Our son was down there. It was fabulous, great. And we took a fabulous tour of sydney harbor on a boat. Went back to our location, where we were shooting the movie. I actually had a day of rehearsal. And then, on the ride home, i announced grandly and when i speak, honestly, people drop everything theyre doing. Stephen of course. And i said, you know, im feeling a little punky. Stephen punky, okay. And rita had a headache. She was feeling bad. I felt punky. And we were tested in the afternoon at 10 00. It came back positive, and by the next morning we were surround bid people in p. P. E. And isolated in a hospital. Now, everybody says, you know, how did it feel, what was it like . We had very different symptoms. Stephen you and rita, different . Very different. Actually, other than a headache she had a higher fever than i did. She had horrible nausea, horrible nausea. Stephen did you lose the taste and the smell . She did. I did not. And that was before that was known to be a thing. We were eating takeout food that i would have thought was delicious. It was savory goodness. It had butter sauces, it had come from a thing highly recommended joint, and s