Ever know. With your hands up huh i guess now we know. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonights dream on, plus stephen welcomes Sherrilyn Ifill and mike birbiglia, featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen im not a rocket. Im not going to blast off. Welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. You know, its been a rough few years these last two weeks, but today we actually got some good news. Because this morning, the Supreme Court ruled against trumps attempt to end d. A. C. A. , a win for undocumented dreamers brought to the u. S. As children. Well, of course, trump doesnt care about immigrants brought to the u. S. As children. He barcas abt immigrants he brought to the u. S. As wives. Now, this ruling is a huge relief to the 800,000 immigrants enrolled in d. A. C. A. 800,000 thats more than the entire population of vermont. Which is why ben and jerrys has introduced their new flavor cookies and dreamers immint grant d. A. C. A. Late chip, brought here by no choice of their cone. That wasnt easy to say. I like it, though. Stephen it was a 54 decision. Liberal pinko chief of the patchouli circle Justice John Roberts wrote the majority opinion, and he returned the president s homework with a note that said, uh, show your work. We do not decide whether d. A. C. A. Or its rescission are sound policies, the wisdom of those decisions is none of our concern. we address only whether the agency complied with the procedural requirement that it provide a reasoned explanation for its action. as trump what, now ive got to have a reason for the things i do . Other than hungry or horny or , trump was not pleased with this decision or the one on monday that said employers cannot fire people just because theyre l. G. B. T. Q. He tweeted, these horrible and politically charged decisions coming out of the Supreme Court are shotgun blasts into the face of people that are proud to call themselves republicans or conservatives. We need more justices or we will lose our Second Amendment and everything else. Vote trump 2020 so, essentiayo argt is in the face and arent guns great . We should keep a lot of them. He went on to tweet, do you get the impression that the Supreme Court doesnt like me . Yes, i do. They wear black robes. And somef your fans eeitones. Ku klux kaslam where does he find the courage . Stephen one person who really doesnt like trump is former National Security adviser and evil lorax, john bolton. Bolton has written a scathing tellall about his time in the Trump Administration called the room where it happened, which trump is desperate to suppress. So, naturally, the book is currently number one on amazon. By the way, number two is the tellall by trumps niece, and number three is how to be an antiracist. So, theyre really all about trump. Of course, boltons book is only available as a preorder, due to trumps swift legal action, it is impossible to get your hands on one of these. Yesterday, excerpts of the book were leaked. Bolton writes that trump coddled dictators, thought finland was part of russia, and gave the thumbsup to chinese concentration camps. Trump immediately went on the fox news and went after bolton. He was a washed up guy, i gave him a chance, he couldnt gt Senate Confirmed so i gave him a nonSenate Confirmed position so i could just put him there and see how he worked. Stephen as trump cause when it comes to National Security, i just give any the job to any old loser who comes along. You know, throw em a bone. How important could it be . The book claims that during trumps 2018 meeting with kim jong un, pompeo slipped bolton a note disparaging the president , saying, he is so full of bleep . I trust pompeos intel on that. His lips have spent a great deal of time in the vicinity of trumps ass. Of course, trump wasnt buying it, telling the wall street journal, i would doubt that. Does he have the note . Let me see the note. Well, mr. President , because you asked its so crazy that i have one of these. John roberts sent it to me. Now, another explosive detail is that trump asked chinese president xi jinping to interfere in our upcoming election. Trump was asked if that was true, and heres what he said well, first of all, nobody, nobody has been tougher on russia or china than i have. Nobody even close. Chinas paying us billions of dollars a year. They never gave us 10 cents. So nobody has been tough on china and nobody has been tough with russia like i have. And thats, thats in the record books. Stephen so. True . Answer the damn question. Did you murder your roommate with an ax . First of all, no one enjoys woodworking more than i do. I built a table and a hutch and thats in the record books. By the way, dont dont look inside the hutch. Of course, while trump had his mouth open anyway, a lot of other stupid stuff dribbled out. The journal asked trump about originally scheduling his tulsa rally for juneteenth, the holiday commemorating the day that the last enslaved people learned about the end of slavery in the united states, and far from being ashamed or chagrined, trump was proud of it. I made juneteenth very famous. Its actually an important event, an important time. But nobody had ever heard of it. as trump in fact, i announced the rally that upset everyone on the tenth, so im starting a new holiday just for white people called juneteenth, celebrating the day they all learned about juneteenth. Youre welcome. Then, to drive home the awkwardness, trump tried to prove that he had popularized juneteenth by asking an aide if she had ever hear of it. She pointed out that the white house had issued a Statement Last year commemorating the day. He replied, oh, really . We put out a statement . The Trump White House put out a statement . Okay, okay. Good. as trump really . We put out a statement celebrating the end of slavery . cause that does not sound like me. You know how my ties are made, right . When it came to coronavirus, trump didnt think it was a big deal, and added that some americans wore facial coverings not as a preventative measure, but as a way to signal disapproval of him. as trump and its not just the masks either. What about all those protesters wearing ventilators to show that theyre antitrump . And dont get me started on those socialists in their governmentissued, antifa body bags. Despite how much pressure trumps putting on him, bolton evidently is not backing down. He sat down for an interview with Martha Raddatz that will air on sunday, and he didnt pull any punches. How would you describe trumps relationship with Vladimir Putin . I think putin thinks he can play him like a fiddle. Stephen i dont think thats fair. Trump is more like a cello big, wide and hard to get down a ramp. While the nationwide peaceful protests for Racial Justice have drifted out of the nightly news coverage, theyre still going strong in major cities all across the country because there are still plenty of reasons to protest. Like the tragic case of 27year old rayshard brooks, who twie by an Atlanta Policeman last week. Its a sadly familiar story, but this one might have a different ending, because the officer in question, garrett rolfe, now faces 11 criminal charges, including felony murder. Theyre getting rid of the bad apple, which youd think all the good apples would be excited about to maintain, you know, barrel freshness. But hours later, some of the Atlanta Police called in sick to protest the murder charge. This is a disappointing response to an officer being subject to the same laws that theyre supposed to enforce. But the police union clarified it wasnt an official strike, saying, this is not an organized thing, its not a blue flu. What it actually is, is officers eshey dont to deal with it any longer. Yes, these officers are simply fedup with scrutiny over the shooting of unarmed black men. You can learn more about it in the upcoming film, three weeks held accountable. Yesterday, there was a step forward for Racial Justice on the breakfast table, because finally, quaker announced that they are retiring the aunt jemima brand and logo. Yes, weve achieved sweeping flapjack reform, and its about time. D racist ra cannot be tolerated for more than 130 years. 1890. It was originally marketed as a cure for cholera. And it was mostly cocaine. Now, all of the racist icons of your pantry are falling one by one, because uncle bens rice announced they will also scrap their brand image. Hopefully, this means theyll also change their slogan from perfect every time to perfect every time, except not in 2020, and, in retrospect, pretty much never. It wont be the first time the brand has addressed their problematic logo. Because in 2007, uncle ben was promoted from a servant to chairman of the board. Truly, a proud day for imaginary black people everywhere. But the long overdue breakfast reckoning is not over yet. The packaging on boxes of cream of wheat may soon change. Great. While theyre at it, just get rid of the whole product. The only people buying cream of wheat are those whose favorite flavor is wet. Another logo under investigation is mrs. Butterworth, whose company is now doing a complete brand and packaging review, though the race of mrs. Butterworth has not been confirmed. The manufacturer says that mrs. Butterworth is supposed to be anyones grandma. As long as your grandma says, hello, children. I want you to grab my body, squeeze it hard, and watch sweet, viscous fluid gush out of my skull. Hey, how about a threeway with the honey bear . Mr. Butterworths on a work trip. Lets get sticky shes a sexual being. Theres no reason why she cant have her own desires. Coronavirus cases are spiking all throughout the sunbelt, and we just learned about a terrifying new threat of transmission, because flushing the toilet may fling coronavirus aerosols all over. Oh, my god our toilets have turned on us. Though i cant say im surprised, after all weve done to them. It was only a matter of time before they rose up to exact their revenge. The research was published tuesday in the journal physics of fluids. of course thats only half the article. Part two is being published in the physics of solids. The scientists here warn theres one more behavior to be hyper aware of in order to prevent coronavirus transmission what you do after you use the toilet. Wait, youre saying i shouldnt high five the dog whos been watching me the whole time . Hes my best friend im not gonna leave him hanging oh, im being told its not the highfiving. Apparently, turbulence from a toilet bowl can create a large plume that is potentially infectious to a bathrooms next visitor. Plume . Wow. That means every time youve flushed a Public Toilet theres been a plume. You know youre in a bad place when youre nostalgic for the days when all you were inhaling in the bathroom was the previous guys farticles. I know. Experts say there is a safety precaution you can take. Close the lid first, then trigger the flushing process. Then you can use the lid to make the toilet talk about your Great Public Health awareness. Great job, steve youre really doing your duty. But, uh, why is the dog always in here . Thanks party mouth. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Ill be talking to the president of the n. A. A. C. P. Legal defense fund, Sherrilyn Ifill. But first, when we come back, ill look at some new fathers day cards with a very special guest. Who has time for wrinkles . Neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair®. Weve got the retinol that gives you results in one week. Not just any retinol. Accelerated retinol sa. For not only smoother skin in one day, but youngerlooking skin in just one week. And thats clinically proven. Results that fast or your money back. Unless youre attached to your wrinkles. One week is all it takes. Neutrogena®. So can your skin one week is all it takes. Lather, rinse, refresh with dove men care body wash that washes away germs and moisturizes skin to refresh you and your skin with every shower contactless delivery trright to your car,et. Designed for your day. Your moves. Your style. Your taste. So quick and easy. Just download the target app today. I felt gross. 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Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Reinventing. Its what with comcast business, your Small Business can work faster, with powerful internet from the nations largest gigspeed network. Work safer, with all your connected devices automatically protected by securityedge. And work anywhere, with comcast business at home, our new businessgrade Internet Solution for remote workers. Whatever your business needs, comcast business has the solutions to help you not just bounce back, but bounce forward. Call or go online to find out more. Stephen hey, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Before we go just one minute further, lets step in and say hello to our friend john podesta jon batiste. Hello, jon. Jon hello, hello. Yes, indeed. Stephen i was going to ask how you are, but i know how you are, which is the busiest man in lockdown because youre always doing something. This sunday, youre going to be on cbs, right . Jon yes, thats right, thats right, with my good friend harry connick, jr. And many others. Stephen its a united we sing, a grammy tribute to the unsung heroes. What can we expect . Jon oh, my goodness, theres a lot of good music. And also people in the community are going to meet other celebrities, performers, and tell them about their experience during covid19. So, its going to be incredible to see, the real story from the people on the front lines. Stephen celebrating the essential workers right now. Jon thats right. Stephen and weve got oprah, brad pitt, sandra bullock, dave matthews, and, now, i know you contributed a special performance, jim, if you could roll the tape of this while im talking to jon. What are you performing here and who is this singing with you . Jon its the gospel soul children, and this choir is an institution in new orleans, it goes way back to Mahalia Jackson and they have been every generation keeping the standard just as high, so i was playing Amazing Grace with them on that clip. Stephen ive heard it. Its extraordinary. Youve got to watch on sunday night, and definitely check out the whole thing, definitely check out jon and the choir. Its incredibly moving and beautiful, and i cant wait to see it. Jon batiste, everybody. Jon humming stephen this sunday is fathers day, and its always nice to send the dad in your life a card. And since its harder to gather in person right now, those cards will matter more than ever this year. The thing is, the people who write greeting cards dont always get it right on the first try. So were taking a look at some of their early attempts in our holiday segment, first drafts no no, stupid stephen as always with first drafts, i need someone from the audience to come up and help me out. Is there anyone . Pick me, pick me stephen anyone else . You, young lady. Dont tell anyone youre the only one here. You sit here, ill sit here. All right. Stephen okay. Hello. Stephen hello. And what is your name . My name is evelyn colbert. Stephen evelyn colbert, okay. What a coincidence. Okay. So heres how it works, evie is going to show me a Great Fathers day card and then the not so great first draft. This is your fathers day present to me but i would also like a present. Okay. Can i have the first draft . Stephen yes you can, there you go. That is the final, the first draft was the second one. Oh, this is the final draft. Heres a lovely one, happy fathers day to the man who taught me everything i know. And then we open it. laughter i love you, dad. Stephen thats really sweet. Really sweet. But the first draft said, happy fathers day to the man who taught me everything i know. Would you pass this along to mr. Cunningham if you have his address . He was an awesome teacher. Thanks, dad stephen yeah, thats honest. What are you doing for your dad for fathers day . I dont know. We maybe will go have dinner. Stephen we cant. We cant have dinner because of the coronavirus. Why dont we have a plank off . Because you know dads really good stephen her father can do a fiveminute plank and hes 91. Pretty good, pretty good. Stephen the feeling of inadequacy is palpable. laughter stephen i want your father and tom brady to have a plank off or Something Like that. So, happy fathers day. Dad. You taught me to never stop being curious. Thank you for making me a lifelong learner. Well, thats really sweet. Stephen thats really sweet. Its a good one. But the first draft said, happy fathers day. So i finally got that d. N. A. Test and confirmed the bass player from Lynyrd Skynyrd is my real father. This is your last card. Stephen thats based on a true story. Nice job. Stephen based on a true story. Oh. Stephen yeah. Okay, you got another one . Stephen sure. I dont know, do i . Could i have the next card, please . Am i supposed to keep talking to you . laughs stephen well, its polite. You are hosting right now, im th