Its afraid cheers and applause announcer its a late show live with Stephen Colbert tonight its joe time. Plus stephen welcomes live secretary Hillary Rodham clinton and musical guest the killers, featuring live jon batiste and stay homin. And now live from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome ladies and gentlemen, to a late show im your host Stephen Colbert. Im here with my stage manager, my executive producer, my son johns here tonight two times and we have a huge night for you because we are live right there afer the final night to have the Democratic National convention, and it has been, whew, a whirlwind week. But now its over. Bobs your uncle and joes your candidate because tonight was the dramatic Season Finale of our d. N. C. Spectacular dramatic music democrats assemble. dramatic music are you fired up . power surge and so we fight it is what it is dramatic music bloomberg smash laughter stephen i did not expect that. Every night of the convention has had a theme this week. Last night was a more perfect union, and tonight was, americas promise. Which is a lovely theme, and also, i believe, a delicious storebrand margarine. We hold these truths to taste just like butter now that weve reached the end, we can reflect on a convention that really had it all stars, everyday people, billy porter serenading billy porter. Get a room, you one the democrats gave it their all this week, and even though covid forced the convention to be socially distant, i think i might have contracted a case of the hopes. No dry cough, but my face did leak several times. Early on in the night, we got a dire warning about the urgency of Global Warming from california governor gavin newsom, seen here standing in front of the only tree in california that isnt on fire. Then the convention struck what i thought was an aspirational and optimistic tone with a video titled drum roll this time next year, i hope the virus is in check. This time next year, i hope and pray that america will have restored democracy to the world. Stephen oh, my turn . This time next year, i hope i dont have to do this voice ever again as trump because, face it, its been three and a half years and the impression is no better and im pretty sure im getting polyps. We heard from one of the younger democrats in the party, andrew yang, who reminded us who helps. You might remember me as the guy who ran for president talking about math in the future. Stephen yeah, but mostly hes the guy who promised me 1,000. Wheres my money, andy . muffled laughter yang was blunt about the state of the country. Were in a deep dark hole and we need leaders to help us dig out. Stephen hes right, america is in a deep dark hole, and trumps message is, it puts the lotion on its skin then, it was time for the pledge of allegiance. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of america, and to a republic for which it stands stephen oh, my god that is so adorable please vote, everybody, if not for your future, then for that kids future so he can grow up in the republic he deserves. Now tonights convention host was none other than a friend of the show, the great julia louis dreyfus, officially made the biden campaign, the new adventures of old joe. Julia talked about bidens commitment to his faith. Joe biden goes to church so regularly that he doesnt even need tear gas and a bunch of federalized troops to help him get there. Stephen damn, trump, you just got veeped in the teeth. Julias doing my job for me and she looks way better in the heels, which is the reason im sitting down now. muffled laughter now we have a fantastic musical performance tonight by john legend and the rapper, common. But as a middle age white person, i dont really understand hiphop unless its about alexander hamilton. And after that incredibly moving performance, the obvious follow up was this rap master. Im historian jon meacham. Stephen rapping and if you have kids ill teach em, ive chronicled many president ial nominations, i wrote the book your dad takes on beach vacations record scratching meacham reached back to the words of dr. King. Martin luther king jr. Said we are tied together in the single garment of destiny. Stephen since about mid march, unfortunately, the garment has been sweat parents. Then we heard from wisconsin senator, Tammy Baldwin. We all have stories like this, stories about a time when the system was rigged against us, when we were counted out, left out, pushed out. Just think of what weve heard these past four days. Stephen okay, we have been live for the past four days, so its all been a bit of a blur. I do remember john kasich got lost on a dirt road, Billie Eilish sang on the spooky set from riverdale, and big structural calamari . whispers i think. Despite the virtual setting, Tammy Baldwin did her best to get the audience involved. Say it with me there at home, a nation that builds back better. Stephen okay, i know the convention is over, but is it too late to punch up that slogan, maybe make it a jingle . I want my better back better back better back ribs no . All right. There were testimonials from a lot of republicans, like mike, from rhode island. This years election is very important. Stephen for the record, i dont have a suntan, i have been bobbing for calamari in a vat of marinara. Hey, yang, wheres my thousand bucks . Im in deep with the calamari guy and i told him youd float me. Hes coming for my thumbs, hes going to bread em and fry em seriously muffled laughter then julia introduced another former president ial candidate. Say hi to mayor pete. Stephen hi hi hi, pete over here hey, pete, pete, pete good evening. Stephen whew buttigieg used his own life as an example of how things can change for the better. Just over ten years ago, i joined a military where firing me because of who i am wasnt just possible, it was policy. Now, in 2020, it is unlawful in america to fire someone because of who they are or who they love. The very ring on my finger, a wedding we celebrated, here where im standing, reflects how this country can change. Stephen trump well, pete, this ring on my finger reflects how we cant ever change cause i havent been able to take this sucker off since a particularly big steak dinner in 2007. Why do you think im still with melania . Do we have the bolt cutters . Michael bloomberg appeared in front of a billionaires worth of flags. Bloomberg argued that he wasnt there to prove trumps a bad guy, he was there to prove trumps bad at his job. Would you rehire or work for someone who ran your business into the ground and who always does whats best for him or her, even when it hurts the company, and whose reckless decisions put you in danger, and who spends more time tweeting than working . Stephen as bloomberg would you listen to someone who spent 500 million on a president ial campaign, winning only American Samoa . Dont answer that. Bloomberg did his best to appear human. Donald says we should vote for him because the economy was great before the virus. Huh . evie laughing stephen laughs bloomberg sounds like hes acting in a local Appliance Store commercial the other guys charge you extra for the washer dryer removal. To that i say, huh . evie laughing call now then, it was time to hear from the candidate himself in an auto biographical video. He told an endearing story about his mom standing up for him. When his teacher mimicked him and joe ran home from school, his mother drove back. My mother stood up, all 52 of her, if you ever talk to my son like that again, ill come back and rip that dammed bonnet off your head. Stephen wow rip the bonnet off her head the corn does not fall far from the pop evie laughing joe, why have you been hiding that story . You have to put it on a yard sign biden 2020, my mom threatened to beat up a nun evie laughing stephen laughs it was then time for bidens speech. Would he land it . Good evening. Stephen so far so good. Keep going. Here and now, i give you my word. If you entrust me with the presidency, i will draw on the best of us not the worst. Ill be an ally of the light. Stephen as opposed to trump who is an ally of the white we dont have the music on the live show . No. Stephen okay, my mistake. He had some Straight Talk on this viral crisis trump has sucked us in. The president keep telling us, the virus is going to disappear, he keeps waiting on a miracle. I have news, no miracle is coming. Stephen are you sure theres no miracle because, mr. Vice president , youre kind of nailing this. Joe continued to take inspiration from those who came before him. You know, my dad was an honorable, decent man. He got knocked down a few times pretty hard, but he always got back up. Stephen they said youre never going to keep him down. He used to say, joe, never forget chubawamba. He had a whiskey drink, he had a lager drink laughter he had a whiskey drink, he had a lager drink i forgot the words to chubawamba. Sue me. He talked about the importance of family and how it saved his life. One man doesnt deserve one great love in his life let alone, too. Stephen i know, i have been blessed to have original and extra crispy. And a call to the american people. In times as challenging as these, i believe theres only one way forward as a united america, united america, united in our pursuit of a more perfect union, united in our dreams of a Better Future for us and for our children. United in our determination to make the coming years bright. Are you ready . Stephen yes but ive got the rest of the show to do screw it just put on a rerun of bob hearts abishola, joe needs me, lets go im being told that i contractually have to finish the show. Heres the deal, biden spoke for over ten minutes and addressed all the pain trump has inflicted upon our country, all the possibilities for heal our nation but most importantly not once did he whine about shower pressure. Throughout the convention, it was a common theme. Joe bidens history of loss and suffering. Surprisingly, we didnt get a lot of jokes out of it, but there was a reason the convention hammered this point home, to cast joe biden in stark contrast with donald trump. Donald trump couldnt overcome any of the challenges of his presidency because hes never had to overcome anything at all. This is a grownup version of the colleges say that asks you to write about a challenge you faced, and instead of scrambling to put together a story about bouncing back from getting second chair in your high schools a cappella group, joe biden has a real answer. This evening, joe biden showed himself to be a man who is decent, compassionate, flawed but honest, and that is water in the desert. He is the sort of person who thinks before he says things, and when he gaffs which he does, often its because his heart gets ahead of his words. He cares, and he tries his hardest. Hes like a lot of people i know and you do, too, wished pt seem remarkable, but right now it is. And when trump tweets his all caps rebuke tomorrow morning, its just going to show how our president is not president ial, but joe biden is. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Secretary Hillary Rodham clinton is here. Stick around. Crest gum detoxify. My gums are irritated. I dont have to worry about that, do i . 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Put it in gear and take off. , next thing you know, the phone is in your hand stop we should be holding the wheel, not holding the phone. Its a busy world out there. And were all in it together. Go safely, california. Stephen welcome back, everybody. Lets say hi to our friend mr. Jon batiste. Hello, jon. Jon hello, stephen, how you doing tonight . Stephen im feeling great. I am actually, you know you know, some people, they will say to us sometimes i really like watching your show because it makes us feel less alone and crazy, this week did this for me. Jon it really does. This is an historic week. I love seeing the humanity in the d. N. C. Braden harrington, the 13year old kid, the compassion of Vice President biden to take the time and encourage him really moved me. I loved to see that. Stephen yeah, as i was saying earlier in the monologue, bidens essential decency is like water in the desert. It shouldnt be, but right now, you know, our, you know, we dont presently have a leader who we can imagine uplifting someone. Jon right, were not used to seeing it in four years, and i think the people have had enough. Im hoping in 75 days were going to change the course of history for the better. Stephen knock wood. Youve got a little music to play us out . Whats your mood . Jon im feeling good. Stephen me, too. Jon batiste, everybody. Thanks, jon. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen well see you later. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight made history in 2016, when she became the first woman to become the president ial nominee of a Major Political party. She went on to win the United States popular vote by 3 million votes. Please welcome former secretary of state Hillary Rodham clinton. Madam secretary, thank you so much for being here. Oh, thanks for having me, steve. Its a great night. Im like jon, im really optimistic and so relieved and pleased about the convention. Stephen i am, too, you know. It was it sort of showed me a real hope, the real possibility that the answers are not one person who thinks they can solve everything, but people coming together with common cause. I think that message came through really well over these last four nights. You know, to me, what the team pulled off was unbelievable. The first ever Virtual Convention and the way they wove it all together was astonishing. Stephen i agree. As somebody whos been doing these shows in covid with no audience and you have to generate your own energy and purpose every night, i was completely blown away. As a professional to professional, couldnt believe what they achieved. I watch you at night, and i get tired from just doing to zooms that i do on a daily basis, and there you are in your house. I guess are you still in your house . I cant tell. Stephen no, im in a reproduction of my office. But my family is still here. My son is one of my crew tonight. He waves hi to you, by the way. Keep it in the family. I like that. Stephen lets talk about the zoom convention. You gave your speech last night. Mmhmm. Stephen first of all, what was that like to be giving the speech because youve given many speeches at conventions before, you know what the energy normally is. What did it feel like . Did you and bill just put up cutout cards like they do at Major League Baseball now . How did you approach giving the speech . I did it from my living room, which is where i am now, and its not a very big room. And the d. N. C. Sent a really great crew to film it. They had to have two cameras so they could have the cutaways. It got really tight, stephen, and, so, i was nervous because it is hard to give a speech just into a camera, and you dont have, you know, the sense that youre communicating and people are responding. But, you know, these are odd times. You do the best you can. Stephen well, i want to commend you for something because you, i believe, resisted the temptation and you have the absolute right to say i told you so. You didnt literally say those words. Yeah, i was thinking that could be about the shortest speech in convention history, right . laughter stephen i told you so. Just drop the mic. Stephen thats exactly right, because you did tell us so. You really did tell us so. I was reading some of your Convention Speeches from four years ago, you told us then. Yeah, well, i think it was really difficult for most persons, even people planning to vote for me, to believe that it could be possibly as bad as i feared it would be. As i said last night, you know, the morning after the election, i stated that we had to give, you know, donald trump a chance, and we have tried. But i think youve heard throughout the four nights of the convention, you know, people saying, look, you know, he just either is incapable or unwilling to fulfill the responsibilities of being our president , and now people know it. Theyve watched it in real time for, you know, more than three and a half years. Stephen you know, i think, in a strange way, i take people having voted for donald trump not believing it would be this bad as somehow a sign that they dont perceive everything as transactional and selfishly. They just didnt imagine anybody could be so lack in service of others and only in service of their own appetites. They just didnt believe anyone would be like that, which sort of says something nice about the american p