I see on social media . Am I kidding myself into thinking I could cope with two when I found it so hard to cope with one? I’m sorry to hear about your experience, and not at all surprised that you experienced the fallout you did. Birth trauma is real but often minimised, by others and sometimes by ourselves. We rationalise it by telling ourselves the main thing is that our babies are OK – which is important, but doesn’t take away the impact of what happened. The first thing I want to say is that the ideal gap between children is what’s ideal for you, no one else. (I have an intentional five-and-a-half-year age gap between my children, and I think it works really well.)