The story for you today right here on the news with rick sanchez where you know as we always like to say we do believe by golly its time to do news again. They should have occupied territory is evil under International Law this is exactly what Israel Intends to do when it comes to the west on this edition of we discussed why israel is doing this International Reaction and the state. Secrets prisons and usually what comes to mind when thinking about europe even the most prosperous can be deceived weve been busy roads on the with to view the houses were allegedly preserved words located in the only safe people had access to the story investigators covered the dough. Dealings of the secret services. The great ignore. For. Justice. Welcome to the good visionaries. At the corner of ours has not only been a Health Crisis today has put our relationship to the test as well as the love the Energy Relations and the post called the round journey by helen fisher. Scientific advisor for the match. Helen so great to have you on our program back again but i mean this time around what time is to be talking about humans and human relationships because before the end we had some ones that actually shows compassion and we used to shake hands you know create somebody and we used to offer a hand when you were actually helping someone literally with the los things from now on using is going to be a sign of careless less ignoring as opposed to where they were before will always touchy feely behavior becomes sort of an acceptable thing as a social norm. I think to some extent and for a period of time and mean once we get the you know. The antidote to the virus and maxines i think that people will get get back to tension and kissing and and hugging each other you know we are mammals we are built to touch and kiss and hold each other and i do think that were going to be more careful with people that we dont know. I think were in an age of transparency in age in which you get to know somebody very well before the touching starts and before the kissing starts and i think this is particularly. Important for singles because you know when youre married to somebody. Youre going to get a virus or not get a virus but youre not moving out youre not leaving the prison but when youre dating when youre courting i think its going to be the age of transparency and the day of the one night stand is now over at least for a while we only have that it just like you said its going to come back a whole hugging and kissing its just a question of which is i know how much sight i mean he can take 2 a year or kid to get that vaccine out of the actual properly tested until we actually start using a says before that is a year or 2 the last time right physical contact because its part of our nation like your say sense that a vital nonverbal means of communication and tedious stroking triggers and dorf a system in our brain is all those things will be excluded from our social habits for that time for our kids where really getting those and her friends and asa toxins from. You now you can fall madly in love with somebody who you have never met in person and you can feel feelings of deep attachment when somebody over the internet says something thats really in dearie and you can even fall in love with somebody without ever touching them in. I mean these are basic green systems and they just live within a set and you know suddenly you read a good poem and you can still you know start to cry. You can read an email that makes you mad and suddenly the brain circuitry for anger becomes active and you can certainly be talking to somebody and they can tell you how much they love you or that they are dying to kiss you or hold you and you can begin to feel that ceiling of deep attachment so these are basic brain systems they can be really triggered almost at any time now its better to do the honey no question about it and when you have sex with somebody with orgasm theres a real side of oxytocin and days of present and you can feel theories of deep attachment but you can feel all those feelings just are getting a beautiful birthday card from somebody who loves you know these brain systems are not going to die just because weve got a virus theyre very primitive you know we didnt have 3 distinctly different brain systems for mating and reproduction sex drive a series of intense dramatic love and feelings of deep attachment and any one of them can be triggered even over the internet even through face time so when you say one way stand your eyes over for an hour and how it will be reevaluating physical contact will become a more intimate form of international or an excuse if it is not yes i definitely think so it whats interesting now is were seeing the rise of the whole new stage in the course of process. You know prior to this pandemic people met on the internet and then they went out and met in person and now during this lot down theyve met on the internet and then spent hours on the internet you know doing video chatting there on face time resume or sky. And theyre getting to know somebody before the kids even starts and i do think that this new stage of courting. On the internet will remain after the pandemic subsides simply because its logical you know in the old days and they just before the pandemic when you went out and met somebody for the 1st time you know theres always this one concert will sing am i going to kiss or should i kiss and do a whole has its gone its off the table when youre courting on the internet with video chatting. You know sex is not involved money is also not involved you dont have to decide you know do we go to a stance a restaurant do we have a fancy drink or do we go to a coffee bar and spend 20 minutes and very little money monies of the table and sexes are the table and what is on the table is self disclosure what people are doing much more during this pandemic is having conversations with each other stocks and in terms of singles theyre doing much more courting on the internet so by the time they get to the 1st date they will have already done a lot of self disclosure which builds into missing they were already know that they want to meet this person and that they want to kiss this person that they dare present because theyve had this transparency already so were going to see fewer 1st dates but theyre going to be much more meaningful 1st date. And. And i think the kitchen is going to start very rapidly because these people have already gotten to know each other so i think among people who really know each other the transparency is occurring theyre talking about where theyve been who live test and they feel safe themselves and i think theres going to be just as much intimacy between people who really know each other and have good conversations before the kissing starts. What youre saying and describing right now it seems like that they online video sort of romancing that we got to see during the pandemic terry to say to last 3 months could actually result in to changing completely the harry down of dating let me just before a leg you know you think twice i want to see this person not a good offense restaurant are nonissue the kids are not and now you lock down your house for 2 to 3 months so you see this person almost every day on the radio on this ng and sort of new confession like psychotherapy where you confess and have a need to tell them everything about you and they do the same thing i mean they all the level of openness about oneself has never been higher to to my perception because thats been speaking to people nearly oh my god this is huge every dating app right now has a video because it has become the biggest thing advertising lately on the deal with the other person and so possible because if you want to end it ages you have clay stopping the hideous so were going to test now were going to kiss your frogs by the time you go out meet somebody in person youre going to know that you know all this stuff transparency has occurred youve created the intimacy with that person and now you know id like to go to a stance here or just spend more money on the drink and just of his unity because you know were going to just youre frogs and i do think i think youre absolutely correct that this is a new stage in dating dating creature on the internet before you meet in person and in many respects removing forward to the past i mean in a century ago people do a lot of talking before they ever actually went out on the date so its slowing down the court ship process and i think thats slowing down which is actually very healthy because all of my data show that the longer you court and the later you read the more likely you are to remain together so we may even be seeing more stability in in our partnerships but you know. Could you theres always been changing you are suggesting that this is a big change it is its a huge change but you dont think about when the automobile change and in the United States by the late 1940 s. Or early 1956 a lot of people were able to afford. A car and what did they get that i really didnt bedroom i mean motown you know i mean it changed course ship the automobile the Birth Control pill change courtship actually going way back several 1000 years ago when we invented the place that changed courtship so critic is always going to change and whats interesting about this new twist dating on the internet video chat its its actually going to change crunches i think in a very productive way right off. The hard. Scientific advisor for the national. Labs and they are all too human relations. Are stated us. American and so long to start growing it propitious rates because american empire right because its easy for the top 2 feet everything and link nothing for everyone else america would be better off if it was not an empire so the collapse of the us dollar will be painful for a period of time but what comes on the outside will be i think a lot more amenable to most. All of club became a household really not states and other world over. Washington ceased to be a city that. Tended toward the compromised by what is a sure National Interest people talked about gridlock in Congress Hear people talk about. The right salt the radicals in both parties so this rapidly. You solve it by putting some tryst to politics most of the mystique and war. Explode just. And were back with helen fisher a few bodies and she said to the advisor for the last con they Say Something about relationships hell. Its family say that courtship before it was about you know taking your time getting to know each other and talking to each other and more time you take to court the stable relations get so that that is the thing that leads me to the thought that the relationship that will start during the carter virus or coming out of the car is who much more stable than there was that was seen before so in a way so they rewinding and going back to basics and this is classic sad story by shapley all dating in the future as their own through Services Like real life match home and when the protagonists actually finally loses all hope with them hes a resource so hes naturally make or chaperone auntie to find him a match will say so finally with a d. Id you feel like people may be getting tired of the 21st century ways of finding romance in the old school courtship i say actually coming back absolutely and we can see in front of our faces were going to have fewer dates because were going to meet people on the internet and were going to get rid of the ones that dont work on the internet before we meet in person and those 1st dates are going to be much more meaningful. Yes i think. I think theres going to be a lot less you know one night stands i think we still will have friends with benefits i meant as a people. I call it slow logs and ive written a lot about it recently the mere fact of courtship is really slowing down i mean before the internet before the pandemic. Over 70 percent are single started courtship just as just friends are they just friends and talking to this prison is just and then moving into friends with benefits you know you learn a lot between the sheets not just hasnt been to make love but you know whether theyre kind whether they can listen with a sympathetic whether theyve got a sense of humor or they can take any instructions. Between the sheets about something so they start out as just friends and move into friends with benefits and and then they slowly tell. Friends and sami about this new person and they slowly move in together and later they wed i mean were marriage used to be the beginning of a partnership now its the finale the whole a whole course of process is slowing down and what this pandemic has done is slow it down some more and you know its very interesting when you are mentioned something recently. Any kind of catastrophe maces take a look at who we are what weve got what we dont have what we need and i do think that more and more people are going to get Serious Partnership at a younger age. Theyre very very careful with stillness courtships going to slow down and i think theyre going to want to know every single thing about somebody before they marry and i think theyre going to take a long time understand who somebody is and as i mentioned that you know all of the data show that the longer the courtship is the later you marry the more likely you are to Stay Together so much you have a pandemic thats creating chaos in every other part of our life but in this particular single courtship romance it is it may be a bit of a guest. Strict could also be his is so ok i around us and certainly in most unbearable thing for a human mind that you need to look for sensibility anywhere you can and then maybe the relationship and courtship is that stronghold where you can make it stable and everything around you is falling apart and the world as you knew it doesnt exist anymore at least have this a stable relationship and you can hold on to that and not go crazy do you think that could be also part of it absolutely i mean lets not forget the fact that i mean i think it also hinted at this before i think its creating a great sense of appreciation for the basics and i also do think its going to be various people who break up after this is over because you know anything having to wait i mean the amount of divorces are unprecedented i mean on one hand youre saying going to get more marriage is an endemic terror but then as we see people are divorcing krosnick. Amounts is that whats interesting is you know it came over in new york about in about 8 years soaring divorce rate in in in china but what they didnt see is is probably also a story marriage rate due and its sorry in amount of people who really realize oh he is still oh she is the one weve now been stuck in a you know in one room for 3 months and we were able to get along and cyber issues and so i wasnt sure whether i should marry him or her whether i should make a Long Term Partnership of some kind and now i think i can so its interesting our newest oh hes talking about the story of divorce rate but not talking about what is probably equally true this is because we dont have the numbers there are because were too to get the ratings is very sad about divorces like its very sad about. Death than love well youre a journalist and so i think your guess is better than mine but. My guess is that my educated guess is that the press really does wear papers and the bad news and the good knows. You know in fact my boyfriend just wrote a book called the power of bad and how you know we do try to sell the bad and see the bad in fact the brain is very well built to remembers a bad theres a huge brain region called negativity and we tend to remember the bad image for millions years in these little had it together in groups nice to remember who your friends were but if you didnt remember who your enemies were you could die so the brain is very well built to remember the bad and i do think i newspaper sort of almost naturally tell you about the divorce rate and maybe they dont collect much data thats a marriage rate either and also its much more than just marriage i mean you could collect data in a minute people get married right after. Right after a pandemic but i dont know if we can ever collect data on how many people decide ok now were going to live together ok now were going to start a relationship ok now weve been able to be together since 3 months i think we can continue at it because theres no date on it as not being corrected but i know the brain you know i think you know i i and my colleagues have put over 100 people into a brain scanner to study the brain circuitry of romantic love and were built to love we were able to live in a lot of people who are divorced a vast majority will find a new love and were stable love and do it all over again so just give and take is making all of us. What we need what we dont have and drive us to making the kinds of partnerships that will be more stable i love what youre saying than el fasher that adelaide this whole Old Fashioned corti had taken it seriously getting to know each other and all that the lady sat a phenomena of our friends with benefits is not a completely disappear or a we certainly have and mostly men of course more afraid of serious relationship you know men men tend to be serial daters. Well i think to disagree actually i think a lot of people think that you know i have studied law for over 40 years now and im now chief science advisor to match dot com and ive been there for 15 years collecting Scientific Data and every year i do this study called singles in america we do not poll match members as not it was a match membership is a National Representative sample of singles based on the u. S. Census and as it turns out year after year men fall in love faster than women they fall off and then women when they meet somebody that they are in love with they they want to introduce that person to friends and family sooner its basic mate guarding. When they get into a Real Partnership men have more intimate conversations with their wives or girlfriends than women do with their husbands or boyfriends because women have their intimate conversations with their girlfriends and men are to have to as well actually kill themselves when relationship is over so ive been trying to tell the world and maybe this is my opportunity that men actually were fragile sex when it comes to romance and when i put men into the brain scanner the way i do with women just same and even gay people frankly is this is in brain systems the brain system like the sears system or the anger system the brain systems for a minute but its actually it is treating cats in lies way below your cortex where you do you think in a way below the. Factories in the middle of the head there a