Wembley was the logical venue for what almost no teenagers are calling the ‘must have’ ticket of 2016 and what touts are referring to as ‘as popular as the clap’. Pop fans can expect two hours of steamy debate, with guest speakers expostulating to a jazz-funk fusion, bag-pipe grime and Lady Ga Ga has agreed to perform a medley of songs concerning fishing quotas and farming subsidies. Likened to ‘Live Aid’ but on an issue where no one is starving, the event will have appearances from Boris ‘Limp