The people of Northern Ireland the greater say our correspondent Chris Butler says it's significant props the government the British government that moved on this and some why and said we are looking for some way of ensuring that Northern Ireland does of consent can essentially buy into this idea of whatever it's going to be single market or some kind of costumes arrangement the government says the Queen's speech will include measures to help the u.k. Prosper after breaks it will take place later and will include details of $22.00 bills they include new plans for immigration the n.h.s. I am a scrapping of the rail franchise system harridans family have told 5 Live they won't meet the American woman involved in the crash which killed him unless she agrees to return to the u.k. The 19 year old died in a collision in Northamptonshire in August and returned to the us and Harry's parents are now travelled there to publicize the case Kurdish officials say they've reached a deal for Syrian army troops to be deployed along the border with Turkey the agreement was announced hours after President Trump ordered the withdrawal of virtually all the remaining us troops there David Miliband is the chief executive of the aid agency international rescue teams on the ground telling me that their worst fears are coming to pass that there are war crimes against civilians but also that the winners out of this look like the Islamic state group ISIS and the us government a teenage boy and a man have been stabbed in separate incidents in north London both attacks happened in Tottenham the victims are now in hospital police have been authorized to extend stop and search powers in the area the funeral takes place later of p.c. Andrew Harper who died while responding to reports of a burglary embark 5 wives Helen place has more the 28 year old from Oxfordshire died while on duty in August he suffered multiple injuries after being dragged under a band a full police ceremonial procession will take place through Oxford before the private service of Christ Church Cathedral an 18 year old man and 217 year old boys are charged with murder and conspiracy to. Steal a quad bike and the man's been charged with conspiracy to murder him a duke and duchess of Cambridge will arrive in Pakistan later for the 1st visit by the royal family for 13 years security has been improved in the country but a big military and police presence is expected to get the supposed headlines now has changed Greg Gareth Bale's axle an equaliser helped Wales to hold 2018 World Cup finalists Croatia and a bad tempered euro 2020 qualify in Cardiff if any one old man in Wales can still qualify earlier on a soggy Hamden park Scotland that in a run of full straight defeats with a 6 mil demolition of San Marino England take on bull Gary in Saffir on Monday night Don Evans will replace Kyle Edmund as Britain's number one male tennis player when the rankings are released later Evans is currently 43rd in the world 2 places below his career best ranking but he told the b.b.c. That he thinks he can get a lot higher form a world record holder Steve Cram say that he would not be surprised if Birgitte calls gays new women's marathon world record isn't broken for a long time the Kenyan took more than a minute's of Polaroid clips all 2003 Mark in Chicago and Scotland rugby head coach Greg it's hands and insists that his team can recover from that group stage exit at the World Cup They have Ms They must learn from the mistakes that saw them lose that ball matches against Ireland and Japan and failed to reach the knockout stages of their space b.b.c. Radio 5 Live on digital b.b.c. Salads small space on the weather southern and western powers the car looked to become cloudy with outbreaks of rain pushing in through the day today Northern England and eastern Scotland of the driver with some sunshine possible here temperatures later reaching 12 in Belfast 15 degrees is the high for London in the southeast. To Shop at least 3. Days straight. described. My life. In the past like this is b.b.c. 5 Live. By I have just been Charlie Vertigo 18 minutes after this phone and you know I say Go hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry 108-008-5909 extension 693 you don't have to join in on Monday morning parenting funnies are we talking about how when the children should just be chattels as they'd like whether adults should sit back and allow them to go and protest whether on climate change or otherwise as they wish oh whether we need to is always saying you know down in so I know you know you know you're not getting a criminal record over my dead body sometimes you know something like 808-590-9693. In loud to speak to your parents as you like we call them by their 1st names and that kind of I'd like to hear from somebody who was actually and if that made any difference to the relationship and so you call your parents by the 1st name in the studio we've got Jen Edmonson with us Mum of 3 we've got to call it see with us as well mother of an 8 year old and we heard from a caller brought in a moment to go Jen and you were desperate to say something that point and you see how I cut him off from the news I didn't want to do that t.v. Because I'm such a gentleman thank you I appreciate your welcome welcome and they are I threw did greed with Brian but I think that there is a. Blaring at the lines between consequences in response. Stability and I think that when you're a child there are consequences to your actions and when you're an adult you take responsibility whether it's for paying bills or paying taxes or bringing up children or being a helpful member of society or you know volunteering for something that's a different type of responsibility to the kind of responsibility that children have had they can they sed you start them small Have you got is just the school have you done your homework but they that you're asking them to take responsibility but with far more immediate consequences than you usually get as an adult. And mind more minor consequences than you usually get for not doing it right as a natural. And I think there is a bit of a in there between consequence and responsibility see I was thinking to myself you know when I was a child and I used to go and cash you know the child benefit full for children and bring it from the Post Office to you know to my mom. That was just something that I'd done I knew it was the child benefit but I you know I had no association all full of that but I owned any of that where was I think if my daughter you know at the same Asia you know I was meant maybe 10 when in cash the child benefit she would have a level of entitle meant and I say that because I think of the way I've maybe. Maybe I would call it over Sharon I'd just say in that sense there's a level of transparency and I think children generally speaking are encouraged to Oscar more questions do you not think that the immediate response as an adult and her parent would be yes of course you're entitle to it but it's for me to put food on your plate and place on your back and make sure your house is warm it's not for you to go to whatever stationery shop and spend it all buying pens and. Whatever yeah yeah you know right and I would I would say that I think I think she would be right actually to say to you in that situation mommy this says it's child benefit or whatever surety that should be for me and she should be right to say that because in a way it is about her. However she is not the one no matter how passionately she might feel she has the right to spend that money on what she wants it to be she isn't the $1.00 responsible enough to make those decisions you know as a parent it's to help put food on her plate and plays on her back yeah. And that's the difference she's absolutely entitled to say isn't this got some things it hasn't it's got something to do with me but absolutely as the agile as the woman with the experience and the responsibilities and say you are the one that should then say to her. Yes you're right in a way it is but it's not for the purpose that you think it is and this is what and it's far more serious a purpose than whatever book you want to buy or you know. Yeah you know and I think that's the difference between dealing with children dating without because they don't have that foresight and they don't have that experience yeah doesn't you said something earlier on there I need to go back to and you said something about class now I think the reason why I you know that that's you know still in my head is I think that there's an assumption girl it does yeah it does I think there's an assumption right there. Children's behavior is the term and by class and I think that that is. A very incorrect assumption and I think so yeah I do I definitely do because I was raised very very working class I'm probably considered middle class now and I actually you know everyone I was around you know the majority of people I was around were raised middle class and we I think when I came to experience those in our upper middle class we were. Better behaved better mannered. Better understand in we did not pick up things in the aisle because we knew we weren't going to get them because we knew that we didn't have the money for the down Polish whereas I feel that you know those of an upper class felt that they could do that whether and their parents didn't challenge or I don't know that fast that was my gut that was my sticking point and I want in fact the weapon you should share not just want to know before you join would you think it is this is close determinant in the way children behave. Gosh that's a tough one I think not per se but really fire immensely I think it does make a difference and I have to disagree with Clare I think entitlement is not the same as bad behavior. And I think. Boundaries are pushed How do you know I think everybody's probably going to tell me now in some big way but I think you know I think there is a difference but I'm struggling to put that into woods as to why I think that I'm trying to think back on my experience of the people that I have known and the parents I have known and the schools I've been involved with which go right across the board and all those hundreds of children and I think they're not. Middle class children I think have a tendency to expect mole. To be less aggressive when they don't get what they think they should have. And I'm that's the thing and that's why I wanted to go back to this point because I think that it's an unspoken assumption that the child's that needs to be told how day you is as Dawson said the street child the one that you cite case there I think I think most people would say I'm probably middle class and I was the one that spoke to my children and said how day. And you know. So I don't thing is that I don't think I don't think that they are more or less well behaved than any other I think that children of all classes misbehave right I think it's the manner of it that's different we could expand this conversation but I know that this would take us into another show and I want to say have thinking this is it we're going to do this in the next program in this phone in the next parents who phone let's do this if there was you know a 16 year old man from Sat. Deliverin nobody sprigs yet a days out well no not maybe passed out in the Sat and now you've sat London what I'm saying is if there was a road you know it's an icon even say right if there was a different type of young pass and deliver in that same message the back that would have been a poorly in I think it has been I think it's for a different reason I don't think it's because that message is coming from a middle class child I think it's because it's come from a female child right interesting. Because I wish we did so it's about I'm going to hold my 5 you like so the next time on that one lots of questions I would just say this one thing as you asked me the question. Members quality coaches got me translation Yeah yes remember that 111-987-6543 extension 2. Because yes yes you know you know Man they come vintage right and now they're on you know the county times they. Come in is not a language it is only a slang and was originated in a ng learned you know where Yeah well there's a line in there where he says. Be my son we just say good. That is a cultural thing. Being 1st my eyes and remember was Jan said a moment ago was middle class before upper class people feel it inside who is nobody he says say to them before they are 1st and you're telling me that doesn't affect the way children behave no no I didn't say I don't think he would like what I'm saying is I think that there is an assumption that we've working class. Children they all they all the children that need to be told how day you most in middle and upper class and I think that that is a wrong assumption Ok Ok it will come back to a couple questions him as frustrated over this. Year oh gosh I lost my not not not number 3 just trying to throw a lot of opposition down in Singapore says his father 2 teenage daughters then when they tell me about record setting rainfall in Japan over the weekend a record high winds in the Bahamas last month then they should be passing this information on so that we can form the obvious opinion the world is changing. The need for them to speak up is more likely to have a knock on effect that they and their own children adapt to change practices food. All those in favor of say I am I Ok I mean. A lot to say and doesn't amaze us to have. This is from Wendy Wargrave she says what I think is missing from this discussion is the word Jew know what the word is well go do and Retha Franklin. He says See I think it's the way a child speaks to an adult that's the main point of a child puts a point over in a polite respectful manner then that's one thing but if a child is rude and disrespectful in the way they may therefore that's not right children should always show respect to their elders and parents I think the lack of respect is also what's causing trouble in the schools as teachers have their hands tied Ok I enjoyed the program by the way says when he will read thank you Ok I mean Aussie kid that's leave us saw I had the platform let's leave aside the message let's leave aside you know the opportunity to speak truth to power and all of that when a child's turns to adults and says How did you is that disrespectful or not Jen Yes. Yes. You do need to. Say anything you had to say yesterday gritted see I did. Because you know why it pains me to say that because I haven't said how de you to my tools but I have said Don't you dare write and I It pains me to say that because I am I Now I'm not questioning was I being respectful to my child and I definitely think that respect is a. But respect should be 2 way but isn't it like Jane said about responsibility it's a different kind of respect from an adult to a child than the respect from a child to an adult is a different kind of respect yet to be determined I'm still exploring I do want to tell you a computer chip in a cultural way so many coaches respect their elders because they have wisdom and experience and wisdom esteem twist I'm an experience they have lived experience that younger people don't have them from that they draw their conclusions and their wisdom is whether you agree with them or not but a lot of cultures valley that was to men experience thank you for respect the older you get and there's a reason for that and the reason is that when you are very young you don't have that experience you haven't lived those experiences and you cannot possibly. Grasp in the same way the wisdom and consequence and responsibility is some somebody old to has and actually if you are young and you are wise you'll draw on those experiences and also crucially you don't pay rent. Pay rent is discussing. That's why where pay rent yes it is. Newcastle says in the sixty's when I was young children used to have to give any adult they see on a bus if it was full this never happens now days to me this little change of behavior shows the shift that sheet of parents towards their kids he blames on the parents I've seen some adults and you know I every time I get essential I make sure I don't sit on the end say I have seen some adults put their head down when an elderly person disabled person a pregnant woman comes on and pretend like they can't see them and I'm always the one to get up so. I think that adults should be getting up in that sense as well. Yes I would you know I would encourage my daughter who is able bodied to get up but if she has been carrying heavy books in have back and she's just exhausted because she's had a long week I won't force her to stand up now and. Then sit there quietly Ok. I think it depends on the age of the child it's a little let them sit no at the expense of an elderly or disabled person but perhaps at the expense of an able bodied stronger adult. But no disability of visible and that you know and that's the thing yeah that yes that's true however I think that if you have a hidden disability you could perhaps say excuse me would you mind if I sat. You can jump up for everybody all the time you can. Predict what's going to happen all the time and in general I think with a little kid I see little kids who have stood up and they are thrown around like nobody's business they're more likely to get her standing on a bus or a Chihuahua or tram then and maced adults I think teenagers however are Lauren to themselves when it comes to public transport so yogas. To themselves again I was actually Lourdes was. I was so glad those days are not oh oh I will give the number. Number a go go read this article was Oh shit was because of wrapping up a little bit early Listen guys next hour we may as well we can be verb parents phone and we're talking about Claus and the impact of Claus on the upbringing of children yes I don't know what a journey yet are ready already face remote gentlemens them include Lottie many folks has got the latest 5 I've had loads to talk said Mom digital b.b.c. Sounds must be the norm is b.b.c. Radio 5 Live like you done Boris Johnson says there is still significant work to do on the breaks it deal with the talks in Brussels could now go on to Wednesday trying to reach an agreement to put 2 European leaders at their summit at the end of the week but it says will settle their plans for the new session of Parliament to the Queen's speech later 22 bills will be put forward including measures to extend the evolution scrap rail franchises and set binding targets on air pollution and cutting plastic He says the Kurds in Syria say the Syrian government's agreed to send its army to the northern border to try to halt Turkey's offensive against them it follows the u.s. Decision to pull all remaining troops from the area and Harry Dunn's family spokesman says if there says that they're only prepared to meet the American woman involved in the crash that killed him if she gives an assurance chill return to the u.k. And securest went back to the u.s. After the death of the 19 year old enough temperature in. Oldest will to spoil this morning his chance crack Wales will need to win the last 2 games in the Euro qualifying group as well as rely on Slovakia dropping points to get into next summer's told him and Wales Drew want to home with a group leaders Croatia which winger Daniel James say does not suit us appointing a result Noma said please don't assist. Tony so well today we went Monckton 10 down but we did try mean shows because playing was patient like robot which shows. Gareth Bale scoring for Wales in Cardiff it's an extremely well I'm done Paul meanwhile Aston Villa's John McGinnis a hat trick to help Scotland on a summary No 6 nil his Miggins national team boss Steve clock is a ghost go to the. English Premier League if you can score goals we can score